Women playing mind games - what's the best way to counter it?

[Anonymous]

What's the best way to counter a woman's mind games?

Pre-cursor: she displayed extreme signs of interest, would constantly follow me around, initiate contact, asked me out to drinks, etc. then it dropped off after we had already gone out a couple of times and hung out a few times (one on one).

Then she tried to make me jealous, gave me the cold shoulder, and a couple of major blow offs, so I cut her loose as it was obvious she was playing games or just flat out not interested. Now she's constantly hovering around me, leaving people she was talking to be next to me, staring at me then looking away quickly when I catch her doing it, if I move somewhere she'll move there, and certain points completely lock gaze for a few seconds give a smile then look away, etc.

However, she won't initiate conversation and if I initiate she'll either be completely caught off guard and try to scramble sentences together or just completely act aloof.

I've pretty much just ignored her games, didn't let them phase me, or when need be just walked away and left her to face the situations she brought on herself alone (or her if the situation requires) till now simply because I figured giving a reaction - such as calling them out seemed over the top at this point of the interaction and shows too much concern.

What's the best way to curb this for the foreseeable future? It's becoming boring (not to mention has been going on for way too long) and preventing the interaction from progressing to something worth while.

[Surfinforlife]

Don't be swayed by it. That's what she's looking for if she's playing mind games. Act oblivious to what's going on.. Don't react to her mind games. She's trying to manipulate and have you under her control.. that's no place for a man. So ignore her and act oblivious.. in fact, not only should you act oblivious but you shouldn't even pay any mind to it. Don't even think about it.. thinking about it causes problems. Just show her you don't care. If you show you don't care, she'll go crazy. Have self control and if you desire her, don't throw yourself at her. Give her some competition. Make her work for you

[Asker]

Okay, so that's what I've done so far, but we haven't progressed any further.

My question then is how do I cut this BS in a more decisive way. Clearly indifference/ignoring/walking away has caused her to realize it won't work to some extent, but we're still not making progress!

[Surfinforlife]

Well if you want to kick this to the curb and move on you need to not only show her you've moved on but let her know verbally at some point. Start taking out new girls on dates and chase your desires in life, not her. If she's still nagging you then cut it off with her verbally. Let her know that you were interested at one point but she played games and you don't have time for bs like that, furthermore you lost interest and don't see potential in her because she likes playing games. Let mer know that because she didn't make up her mind and didn't show genuine interest in you, you're done and moving on. The simple answer I can give you is to be DIRECT. Don't be a jerk, but stand up for yourself and let her know she doesn't own you.

[martyfellow]

If she is playing games, don't try to beat her at it. Take her literally..if she says 'why don't we go out sometime', you know she's probably just seeing how you react..but immediately set a date and time and ask her, right on the spot, regardless of whether she has a guy already, or if YOU do..

She'll quickly stop the games when she knows you'll follow through on her kidding!!!

And be sure to act angry when she backs off!!!

[Anonymous]

but you didn't mention the times u showed interest in her, u texted her, or u told her u like her...she can't be doing all the work now...u gotta be the man and chase her and show her u want her...she obviously felt like she was wearing the pants in the relationship or in this case the courting...and she got sick of it. sometimes a woman just wants a man to take damn charge and show us u want us. if u ain't showing it, then it means u ain't into her. she's showing u what u lost...and if u dont get her back she's gonna move on to a new guy so choice is yours.

[Asker]

I was constantly touchy feely since the first date, tested seeing how she was getting along with things,

[Asker]

Err got cut off, asking if she wanted to do things with me, etc.

if you look down a few posts you can see what I mean

[Anonymous]

Well did you make a move? Maybe she thinks you only want to be friends. In my experience the only reason the game exsist is because there's still unfinished business and she likes you. Why don't you make a move? It seems she have already by showing signs of interest. Did you reciprocate those same feelings? That's the only reason a situation such as this will become stagnant. Try returning the emotions go from there.

[Asker]

I didn't kiss her - even though I think she wanted it to happen by saying she can judge how good things will be based on the first kiss...but she wasn't really engaging in any physical contact aside from some high fives despite me making plenty of moves physically and I thought that was just making an enjoyable situation pressured.

I've asked her out a few times after we hung out/gone on dates (blatantly showing interest each time) and she told me she was busy that week every time without any definitive counter-offer.

Even then she still does this stuff weeks on after turning me down.

[Opinion Owner]

Ok and are we in a group or one on one. I've seen a lot of comments on this site that men like women and ask them to hang out but in a group setting in fear things will be awkward if they were alone.
I'll be honest if a guy and I started out as friends and he's offering for me to hang with him but with out making any real moves or real conversation focusing on the situation at hand 9 X out of 10 I'm only gonna believe he sees me as a friend.
But, if you made clear that it's more to it then I'm sure you would of had an answer by now and not mixed signals. She probably occupying her time assuming you don't see her as more than a friend, in hopes she doesn't annoy you or look desperate for your attention.

[Asker]

One on one. And by touchy-feely I mean I was engaging touching every where possible; back, stomach, hands, arms, legs, shoulders, etc but got nothing back...not further than high fives and bumping into my arm every once in a while.

So far as it being obvious that there is interest or me addressing that there is some sort of interest going on, I would say so.

Even made comments to each other that it's likely we'll each meet each others friends in the future etc.

[Opinion Owner]

So say it then to her. Make your self clear. It's only a temporary discomfort the "i like you conversation"
What's the big deal she's clearly made it known how she feels. I'd think everyone would agree here. So why can't you do the second half, why are you waiting for her to come to you. She has and obviously your signals weren't as clear as you thought or else you to would be spending more time together. If she's done what you said she's done in the first paragraph then she likes you just unsure about you. Flirting subtly is just that, it doesn't quite screem "HEY WHAT UP WITH US". IT KINDA SAY "EH...I would but I don't know yet". So stop sending unsure vibes and make time for her!!

[Asker]

Say what to her though? I've already asked her out multiple times...and told me she was "busy" each time over weeks on end.

Yet when she sees me she does this stuff, and I don't really want to be guy who "doesn't get it" or is being "creepy" by not getting the hint.

There are only so many times you can ask.

How many times have you told a guy you were busy when he asked out one on one and you didn't propose a counter offer and wanted to be asked out again or talked to by him again?

[Opinion Owner]

Guys tend to think saying" hey what your doing later... me and ___ are going here later if your not busy you should come through". In her it doesn't mean more, and if she likes you, she would wanna get that established first., I'm sure if she likes you she'll make time for you, see that's the issue most guys wanna establish a friendship first subtly. Most girls need the constant something brewing between us thing. I like my male friends but I Don't treat them like boyfriends. And there's nothing wrong with approaching her especially if she has put herself out there seemingly dozens of times. You both are playing this waiting game and all for what. ..no one wins this way. Just address and be done with it. I doubt if you'll get turned down if she's already feeling you. But a women don't wanna feel she's doing all the work, flirting following you around making herself available at one time or another, for you to be unsure. So now your mind is made up no more games

[Asker]

I was way more direct than that saying specific nights and plans, which would be one on one and she was still non committal. The question still stands how many times have you taken well to someone repeatedly asking after you have given several non committal answers with no real counter offers?

[Opinion Owner]

I get your frustration. Trust me. Actually the same thing happened to me with this one guy. Each time I asked to hang, he was always busy and it felt like he was avoiding me. So I gave up. Figured he wasn't interested and he was letting me down easy. It didn't hurt less. And i wish I wasn't afraid of coming off as some ass, but I wish I could of just said what I thought at the time it happened. Especially the very last time he kind of brushed me off, at least I would of felt better by now. All I'm saying is before you right her off, just find out if she sees you as more than a friend. Maybe her schedule is complex, maybe she's not quite getting you have an attraction to her and you want to get to know her. I mean judging from what you said about her, I think your facing just one big mistake understanding. And it's your turn to be specific. Cause for what ever reason she's confused. Or don't believe. Make it clear.

[misscocobutter]

A MAN did this exact thing to me once, in the end I couldn't stand it anymore and had to get over him and cut him loose, he never stopped the games by the way. It was weird

[yaddayaddayadda02]

Blow her off until she's propositioning you for sex. Anything less than that is just an annoyance at this point. Don't give in to her games.

[Asker]

The question is do I call her out when she continues to do this? I mean what's really the best way to cut the crap, is what I want to know.

[DanteSparda]

IGNORE HER.
It'll hurt her like a bitch, trust me.

You should be with that person who deserves you and treats you the same way as yours :)

[ManThatKnewTooMuch]

Carry on. I see nothing wrong with your conduct. Those types of women need to be avoided.

[Asker]

Just carry on ignoring/walking away? Is there a way to more effectively cut the BS she's doing?

[ManThatKnewTooMuch]

That? No. Correction is futile. They need to change of their own accord. You can be patient all you want or try teaching them all you want. They'll never learn unless they want to; Most don't.

Best thing to do is to just walk away and let her be single so that she can't have a family and spread her retarded notions around.

[ThreeIn]

When someone plays mind games, the best way to counter it is to call them out on it straight up, in person if possible, and then never speak to them again.

[swiftsaver602]

Leave her be and find a new girl that doesn't play mind games.

[Anonymous]

Don't you remember this?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NHWjlCaIrQo

How about a nice game of chess?

[Asker]

Nice way to present the answer :)

[rdrgzjcqln]

Being straightforward is my motto. So in other words, move on.

[Ghostbusters]

Is women mind that hard to read?

[Asker]

Not sure I follow. Are you implying that it should be obvious she's interested?

If so why has she turned me down multiple times without a counter-offer?

[Ghostbusters]

Leave her and find new one, if she is really interested she will make move also