"I'm not dating right now"

Question

what does a girl mean when she says " I am not dating right now" other than the obvious. and why do guys and girls take time out from dating?

candlewax · Accepted Answer

Have you SEEN the dating pool? Do you realize how much bs is involved with dating? It sucks the life out of you trying to weed through all that crap. After I got out of my last relationship I didn't want to even have a guy approach me. I needed my down time.

When I finally was up for it again, a string of weirdos/a**holes only wanting to get laid that came along. After awhile, I wanted to retreat from awhile. As a female, we're weeding through the guys genuine about wanting to date, and the staggering numbers of guys putting up that facade of wanting to date when all they want is sex and to run off. It gets tiring and annoying after awhile because here we are, looking for a relationship, and there are these guys, not wanting a relationship, just to have a "fun" time and get laid.

It gets to be a turn off after awhile. Being treated like an object gets old.

I know not all guys out there are like this, but it does happen. So if a woman says this, don't always write it off as a "I'm not interested in you," response. Some women out there know wtf is going on with themselves, know what they want, and are stepping away to regain some sort of semblance of sanity.

As for the "not interested" reasoning, watch how she acts around other guys. If she's acting the opposite of what she just stated, then eff her. It's a cowardly way to go about it. Just like how guys ignore girls/act like a**holes when they aren't interested. Both of which are bs.

That said, lol at all the guys responses below.

Freetobe007 · Accepted Answer

For me, it means that I've chosen to spend some time to focus on me; improving myself, filtering my complexities, and cultivating my inner beauty. I love being single. I don't find anything appealing about dating a bunch of people at once, dating back to back, or just waiting around for someone to date as if dating is the highlight of my life. I've accepted that fact that I may not be here in five or ten years, hell, I may not be here in five weeks! People die every day. It's my mission to make sure I die happy. So for me, that means being at my highest quality and having an abundance of people and activities in my life that bring me joy. I just feel like that's so much greater than dating and having a bunch of momentary people passing in and out of your life. I'm so in love with life and living how I've described just seems so much bigger and valuable than dating. I usually only stop and date guys whom are really great guys or I have a really amazing connection with. Otherwise, I honestly feel like I'm wasting my time alive.

Tamikaze · Accepted Answer

People do take breaks from dating when they get tired of bad dates and are generally frustrated that they are not meeting the person that they want to meet. But we quickly end a break if Mr. or Ms. Right comes along.

When someone tells you they are not dating right now, it is because they want to make sure you don't ask them out or they are declining an offer for a date from you. And, no, they won't change their mind later, at least not in a way that is of any value to you. I have seen people reconsider they are not giving someone a chance, but honestly, we know from the start if we feel chemistry or not. It's not the kind of thing you need to re-visit later. So, they may try to date you but either become flaky or it just never goes anywhere. I learned a long time ago to not date someone who isn't hot on my trail from the start.

SevenWindsNineMoons · Accepted Answer

Could be hurt or could be like I have been for the last few years where I have basically focused on work, school, and life in general. If the perfect girl came along and was single I would be more than happy to throw that rule to the wind but, in general, it is concrete as I have debts to pay down and house payments to make. I can't afford to divide my attention. Thanks to medicine people are living much longer so I suspect many are waiting longer now before getting to involved.

And even just dating is taxing. A date can eat four to ten hours of time, depending on what you are doing, the drive there, and potential issues along the way as well as the getting ready factor, which for girls is time consuming. A girl getting ready for a date has to shower, clean her hair, shave her legs more thoroughly than usual, pick out and outfit, spend special time applying make-up and so on. It maybe she is just unwilling to spend the time now.

I wouldn't obsess or let it get you down. Keep your confidence up. It likely has nothing to do with you.

Prof_Don · Accepted Answer

Since females don't have balls...

...they do all this implicit crap to "signal" that she doesn't want to date you.

That's why I always say...when you ask out a girl, a YES is a "yes", ANYTHING ELSE said / done is a "no".

---------

Honestly, it's a 50 /50 chance of her:

1) not wanting to date you for some reason (u probably don't take it personally imo based on your age), and wants to turn you down gently because she doesn't wanna feel guilty by hurting your feelings. See...in this instance, she cares more about how SHE feels more than how YOU feel, but a girl that does this TRIES to sell that she is turning you down implicitly for YOUR benefit, which we both know is garbage; a direct rejections is better cauz it's poignant to your mind that she's not interested.

2) being scorned about dating atm for some reason, and her mindset is probably poisonous about men at the moment, so it's good to not be hard-headed and pursue her (I found this out the hard way lol).

Simple-Simonette · Answer

As evidenced on this very website - being in a relationship or wanting a relationship or thinking about being in a relationship is time and energy consuming. Sometimes you want to focus your energy on more personal things, so taking a break from the complications of the mating dance is necessary.

In my opinion, it's healthy to take a break from dating occasionally. Sometimes the only opinion you need is your own, the only obligations you need to be responsible for are your own and the only thing you need to care of is yourself - dating or being in a relationship makes that impossible. After every break up or bungled dating attempts, I always suggest to my girlfriends to take some time off. People aren't the same in a relationship as they are single, sometimes they need time to get their groove back, lick their wounds, and gather up the strength to go out and fight another day.

Vermi · Answer

She might not be interested in you, but that isn't always the case. I met two really great guys recently, but I'm taking a break from dating as well. They're everything I could ask for in a guy... so why wouldn't I date either of them?

1.) I recently got out of a relationship and I still have residual feelings for my recent ex boyfriend.

2.) I need some Neosporin and time to heal from a series of bad relationships.

3.) Relationships can be emotionally, mentally, physically, and monetarily draining. Bench me coach!

...and then there is a possibility that she's just not into you. For the future, If you really want to know how she really feels about you, watch her body language or just ask - "are you interested in me "? If she uses phrases like "you're a great guy", "you're funny and nice, but..", or anything that circles around the question, she's probably not. It saves you the hassle of dealing with a flake.

May31 · Answer

It probably means that she's not interested in you or she's just not looking for a boyfriend right now. Sometimes people don't like to confront others about not wanting to be with someone so, they go the unapproachable way & just say that they "are not dating right now." Then there's the other thing where they actually mean what they say & like they said "they're not dating right now."

The only reason that this might happen is because she might've gotten her heart broken by someone else & just wants to take a break from all the dating.

-Darling · Answer

Shes giving you a green light to let you know she's single and you can try to hit it if you like, OR she's telling you to please buzz off.

Let me explain further. lol. If you ask her if she's single or not, and she says I'm not dating right now, that would in other words mean "yup I am single", but if you ask her out and she says sorry I'm not dating right now, that might be a way to tell you to buzz off.

MrFlirtatious1992 · Answer

They say that as it's easier than saying that they don't like you. You will rarely ever have a girl tell you they don't like you as they know how fragile the male mind is. They try to let you down as easy as possible. Saying she isn't dating right now means she isn't interested and wouldn't want to date you.

Anonymous · Answer

sometimes people go through heartbreak or drama with past relationships and they just wanna be alone and single or they have other priorities in life like school work stress, like my cousin she's working full time right now and her parents are out of job she needs to make money for her home to survive I feel so bad for her but she can't deal with a guy right now

also sometimes pp may use it as an excuse to turn you down...like they don't wanna hurt your feelings so they just say theyre not looking right now it happened to me too this guy told me he's not relationship material...but he dated another girl

shapeshiftgirl · Answer

Basically it means that she hasn’t found anyone that’s interested her enough to start dating again. Until then, she isn’t interested in empty dates with people who don’t grasp her full attention. A lot of people take time off from dating when they haven’t previously gotten the desired feeling/outcome from it in the past.

toulouse · Answer

I never understood why people took time out TO DATE. I'm sure other people feel that way. she probably meant, she doesn't want to devote time to something other than things she's trying to get done. a lot of people stop dating when they have  a lot of school work, or work-work. not tat uncommon.

blossom7409 · Answer

Bc people drain you when your not matched up. Sometimes you need time away to yourself before you put yourself back out there. Dating basically means evaluation for long term partner and currently she is not interviewing come back later.  Or if she doesn't see you as a candidate it could mean I'm not interested :-/

ayelen · Answer

There are two possibilities:

1) At the moment she's either not interested in dating at all. In this case you might have some chance if you approach her carefully, depending on her reasons. Probably it's because of bad experience in the (near) past, but it could also be because of personal issues, school, work, hobbies, a busy lifestyle where there is no space for another person.

2) She just doesn't like you and wants to avoid any kind of confrontation. In this case: no chance.

alice4hatter · Answer

I say that when I've grown tired of dating and want a break from it. When a guy takes an interest I simply tell him I'm not dating or I've removed myself from dating.  It is frustrating to, as they say, "kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince".  It simply means she isn't wanting to deal with all that dating poses.  When she is ready she will put herself out there and you know she's in the dating pool.

pips1 · Answer

It depends she either doesn't like you or she likes you and is just saying it as maybe she wants a relationship but her life is complicated and doesn't know what the guys reaction will be. Maybe she got hurt many times before and is being careful or just waiting for someone she likes to approach her .  Sometimes girls don't want to appear desperate.

GymStatus · Answer

Sometimes people get tired or being hurt. Sometimes they are too busy for dating right now. Sometimes they just do not want to date at this time. Sometimes they are rejecting you and use that phrase to nip the issue immediately... It depends on the person

Anonymous · Answer

Its easier for her to lie, than just say... sorry but I'm not interested in you. AKA... Womanese... Guys  are not born knowing how to translate womanese...and if you don't learn quickly... you will be confused most of the time when a  women speaks to you...

MikeK · Answer

Another clear-cut example of women not saying what they really mean.

But like another person on here already said - if it's ANYTHING other than a "yes" response, she just isn't interested. So in that respect, women are pretty easy to figure out LOL. Just remember YES = YES, anything else = NO.

december1990 · Answer

Cause 1. they aren't interested, 2. your not who they wanna date.. because if somebody wants to date you... theyll put every excuse aside.. lol if they want to date you

kholland65 · Answer

I've never understood taking time off from dating (aside from extraordinary circumstances). If the right person comes along, the right person comes along. It should matter if your busy or something.

Wassup · Answer

It means I'm not interested. I guarantee that if she found a guy she liked she would instantly want to date again.

Cryostatic · Answer

It means "I'm not dating you. Ever." The reasons for this may vary, but you'll probably never know why.

gaggleii · Answer

It's usually something they come up with when they get sick of being approached by guys they aren't interested in. Trust me, if/when she meets someone she genuinely likes, she WILL date him.

AmberChick · Answer

It means she is not interested in going through a relationship for many reasons, maybe she has been hurt a lot in the past and she doesn't want to go through that again.

snowangle · Answer

I'm currently off dating right now. The reason is I just got out of a frustrating, stressful relationship and the experience has left me slightly bitter, so I'm not interested in boys at the moment.

yellowmamba024 · Answer

Girls are always ready to date. If she said that, that means she doesn't want to date you. She really wants to look for the "right" guy this time. In this case, that guy happens not to be you.

sammy_31 · Answer

I guess they need space, time, freedom for themselves & sometimes not interested in the person asking if they want to date. :/

Eiffelgirl21 · Answer

Cuz sometimes...people just get SICK of being hurt and betrayed. And, we want a break from it.

enlightenment · Answer

either she doesn't want you and being nice, or she is trying to just be single

honeyltsme · Answer

She basically says "I don't feel chemistry towards you."

nadood · Answer

because sometimes you need to let your emotions rest after coming out of a bad relationship.. or taking time to make space for other things in your life

Anonymous · Answer

She is pissed off, depressed or cynical about men right now and hopes you don't start bombarding her with attempts to pick her up.

sharra · Answer

It means she's not dating YOU right now.

Yeahhbro · Answer

She is not into you, but loves the attention.

Anonymous · Answer

she's not interested in you

sweet_18 · Answer

it means she doesn't want to date you. Sorry

"I'm not dating right now"

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