Found used condom, proof of cheating?

[Anonymous]

Me and my boyfriend have been dating for quite a few months now, and we do not use condoms because I am on birth control which I know I still should use them. So the other day we had taken a shower together like we usually do because we are always together, probably too much sometimes, but after showering I happened to look down at the trash can when I was drying off and I saw a used condom in the trash. Again we don't use them and about a week or two ago we had broken up so we can just have our own space, his trash isn't that old either because I'm the one that usually cleans it up. And I asked him about it, he didn't seem to know where it came from but didn't seem that phased by it. If I found a used condom on my trash and had no clue where it came from I would freak out at my roommates but he didn't. So then I looked through the trash and found the wrapper which was a trojan for her pleasure which none of his roommates use. He claims it isn't his and has no idea where it came from and the last time I caught him in a lie he said he wouldn't ever lie to me again, but I'm sure that is a lie, because that's human nature. I know using a condom for masturbating is out of the question because he usually does it in the shower and he doesn't use condoms to do it. All of his roommates claim that it isn't theirs even though they always prank each other. And they claim that they haven't noticed any girls come over to his house when we were on a break but I am aware of bros before hoes, so that could also be a lie. So I am just curious to what you GUYS have to say about this and what you think the possibility is. because it seemed like whoevers condom it was, tried to hide it but obviously didn't do a very good job.

[lv4lv]

Okay. First the facts:

1. There's a condom in his trash.

2. He lives with roommates. His roommates could have had sex, disposed of it where ever and forgot about it.

3. The trust in the relationship is obviously shaken.

4. He's being "defensive". "Evidence" aside - if I was innocent and my girl friend accused me of cheating I would be appalled. I would see that my girl friend doesn't really trust me at all and she thinks I'm some really "easy play toy".

5. You two were on a break. A break usually constitutes being able to have a fling. I'm not sure why this is so important nor why the word "cheat" is being brought up by others.

While it's quite obvious he probably slept with someone on the break. It *was* a break and shouldn't be thought of cheating by any selection of thought unless this is void of the rules of the break. I perfectly understand why he would be "defensive" (See reasons 4 and 5). He still probably did it but there's no real proof and unless there was rules to the break that veto him sleeping with another it's best to forget and just move on.

[Prof_Don]

Him being defensive like tells me all you need to know.

However...i will say that the fact that yall were on a "break" when this happens demonstrates why "breaks" in relationships are bullsh*t.

Either be 100% together (and not see other ppl), or be 100% apart (and see other ppl).

He probably thought it was OK to have sex with another girl because yall are on a break from each other. I can't fault him on his actions (but I will fault him for lying about it).

[cazza3]

1. If it is his he didn't cheat. You two were not together at the time.

2. Its possible that it could have been one of the room mates, girls carry condoms too you know

3. You've accussed him of "cheating" of course he's going to get defensive.

No matter who's condom it is the trust is gone for both of you. You obviously don't trust him and he knows it which can be hard to recover from

[Honeybaby]

Maybe it was his and maybe it wasn't - who knows? Only he can answer that question and if he doesn't want you to know then he won't be honest about it. By not using any protection you are putting yourself at risk (that privilege is for married couples) of diseases and infections some of which are incurable. The truth of the matter is that you can never soley trust someone.

[12elizabeth]

I believe it's his, as I don't see why he should be threatening you to break up with you, if he knows you trust him he shouldn't have to make these kinds of threats.

[lv4lv]

Well obviously the trust in the relationship is shaken. While I believe he did it; in chances he didn't he would be appalled by these accusations and see that she really don't trust him at all.

[SixStringSeal]

There is a used condom in HIS trash.

He can't explain it.

His friends can't explain it.

He's getting defensive and upset at you trying to get you to drop it...

So not only did he likely cheat on you but he has no problem lying to your face making YOU look like the bad guy.

This guy has got some serious balls. I'm actually quite impressed.

[toouglytobeloved]

3 reasons

1) its his and isn't man enough to admit it

2) its his roommates and they are setting him up out of jealousy and not admiting to it

3) someone no one knows broke in to the room and did it and had sex etc

[yopyopyop]

Maybe it was a prank. A very stupid one, but who knows.

Anyway, if you were broken up, it wasn't cheating.

[12elizabeth]

I agree

[Anonymous]

He slept with someone. He's becoming overly defensive because you caught him and now he's trying to avert the problem by turning it around on you and making you think he'll break up with you.

[Lupianwolf]

I think he's lying and agree with pretty much everything SixStringSeal said

[7gnat]

Well either one of his roomies hates him or he is a cheater and a liar(maybe not so much of a cheater if it was during the break-up time but still bad)

[jacquesvol]

" even though they always prank each other."

Nuff said.

[Anonymous]

Not really. I’ve used a condom just to masturbate into several times.

[Anonymous]

I think he cheated on you!

[Anonymous]

Cheater