Why am I so intimidated by my girlfriend?

[Niceguy12]

I'm 22 and she's 21, she's had sex with 3 guys (who she was in relationships with) and I'm a virgin. I feel so intimidated by her because I have no idea how to have sex because I was raised in a strict Christian household and having and dating was considered a sin by my aunt. What do I do because I'm very intimidated by her and her sexual history. My aunt found about this and she told me, "You deserve a clean girl, not a whore who has slept with three guys." I don't want to break up with my girlfriend I love her.

[ManWhoDropsTheBall]

Im so glad to have come across this question. My girlfriend has had a rough past and I doubt myself all the time for dating her. You saying you're intimidated enlightens me so much. It is an excellent term that describes how I feel towards my gf.

Ive been dating mine for 7+ months and I still have my moments where I'm entirely scared she may return to old ways and do something that will damage our relationship. If I could see outside the box then maybe I could determine whether or not I should continue dating her. It is tough to maintain these things. Dang emotions get involved and you're in for a rough ride

[Niceguy12]

I know what you mean

[Cantremember]

Tell your aunt to go back to the 18th century.

Unbelievable what she said.

[Niceguy12]

I told her, "at least my girlfriend didn't get pregnant at 14" and she threw me out.

[Coolah]

If you love her I'm not totally sure it's any place for your aunt to comment, but I'm not going to argue that, family bond... As for the girl, don't be intimidated, she obviously knows you're a virgin and couldn't care less, it doesn't necessarily even make her better than you. Chances are she respects you for it. I'd suggest telling her you feel intimidated, but that sounds way to much like a teenage TV show where nothing good ever happens...

[Niceguy12]

My girlfriend said, "guys like me are a dying breed, and I she's glad that I have morals because most guys will f*** anything with a hole lol."

[Coolah]

Then don't be worried at all. She doesn't care, so neither should you.

[Niceguy12]

Yeah you're right I'll drop this subject.

[MissDashwood]

First of all, three guys? Within the confines of a relationship? That's not whorish at all. This isn't 1830.

If she knows that you're a virgin, of course she isn't going to have huge expectations for you the first time you guys have sex. If she loves you, she'll be more than willing to teach you, and it'll probably be a good bonding experience for you two.

You should tell your aunt to shove it. Your girlfriend isn't a leper.

[Niceguy12]

My aunt is a strict Christian, her opinion of her will stand. But I'm still gonna love my girl always her past is irrelevant to me.

[bassman]

His aunt is wrong but dating being a sin...but what's up with the whole date (1830) thing? You guys act like people didn't have premarital sex before now? The bible is over 2000 years old...and its still as relevant, and true as it was when it was written. FYI... Wedding dress companies didn't invent marriage...God did. Who said it was okay to have sex if your in the confines of a relationship? Culture? Movies? Society?

[Niceguy12]

bassman people are gonna do what they want whether It's good or bad.

[bassman]

You're right...People don't realize an innocent man (Jesus) died a brutal death for them, so they wouldn't have to be condemned for their misbehavior...immoral acts etc. When you think about someone willing to die for you so you can live...even though most of us don't deserve it...That should get peoples attention. It got mine.

[MissDashwood]

Of course people had premarital sex before now. But they got stoned because of people like you. You Bible thumpers are such hypocrites. Jesus taught that all men were required to forgive, and here you are, unable to forgive someone for something that she can't change even if she wants to--her past.

[Niceguy12]

Her past is irrelevant to me what I'm focused on is the here and now.

[MissDashwood]

Her past is NOT irrelevant to you, otherwise it wouldn't make you uneasy.

[Niceguy12]

It is irrelevant now, because in order to accept her I must accept her past as well because It's already written and I have to remember that she's human and we all make mistakes.

[MissDashwood]

Convince Brother bassman of that, and the world will be a better place.

[youllthinkofme]

How is dating a sin? And and unless you also believe in all those strict beliefs then who cares if your aunt disapproves? It's not your mother. And three guys isn't bad, especially since she was in a relationship with them. And who cares if you're a virgin, it has to happen sometime so don't let your nerves hold you back.

[bassman]

Do yourself a favor...and find another girl...I promise you will be happier in the long run. Your Aunt is a moron for telling you that dating is a sin...its not. Premarital sex is a sin...(God is very clear on this) you should know this by now. You're uncomfortable because deep down inside you know what your girl friend has done in her past is very imoral. Run man...run fast! Go find a girl who values and respects her body and herself. If you stay with her...you will begin a long journey down a very dark road.

[Niceguy12]

Well I'm not dumping her

[bassman]

I gurantee she will dump you...just ask the last 3 guys she's dumped.

[Niceguy12]

No she won't, those 3 douchebags cheated on her then she dumped them. And if she does then oh well I'll let her go.

[bassman]

I'm just trying to help you out man...Some people take good advice...but others have to learn the hard way...by being dragged through the mud . Best of luck to you and the gf.

[Niceguy12]

I accept your advice, I've been through breakups and yes they've hurt and if she does leave then yes I'll be hurt but I'll get through it.

[bassman]

I wouldn't be intimidated by someone because they have misbehaved in the past (sexually) and you haven't. I'm willing to bet that deep down inside she is jealous of you because you have your virginity. If anything she's probably intimidated by you

[Niceguy12]

Wow I never thought of that.

[latebloomer87]

Grow a pair.

[Niceguy12]

And what do you mean by that, I stand up for my girlfriend all the time.

[InvisibleKid]

lissen to your aunt.