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Why Being A Nice Guy Is Stupid (Page 2)
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There is nice guy, and nice guy syndrome.
Totally different :P
Exactly, I say "nice guys" in my post, because I am referring to the ones that have the nice guy syndrome. Not the ones that are genuinely nice, and can walk away whenever they want and not look back. There's too many "nice guys", and I'm tired of hearing them complain about how girls are horrible, and they like getting used. Just because the girl didn't like them. I'm guilty of it in the past, but I'm not letting it happen again. Totally not worth it, and there is no gain to bending over backwards for the girl that doesn't like you, when you want something more.
People need to just say how they feel, and a lot of this could be avoided.
Yeah i know what it is, i am a good dude, not "Nice guy", however i never managed to get a girlfriend, just keep getting rejected, i dont expect anything, but overtime, combined with my generalized anxiety, dropped my self esteem to 0 and major depression, im giving up and going to do long haul trucking, dont know for how long.
Hey man, there's nothing wrong with that. I have really bad anxiety also, and I've had depression since I was like 13. The anxiety definitely outways my depression, because panic attacks and being scared to do the simplest things like walking into walmart suck, and end up making me depressed because it's like "why am I so scared to do these simple tasks?". But I try to stay positive, and make the best with what I have.
At least you had the guts to ask someone out tho man, that's saying a lot with out generation. But never rely on other people to help you love yourself, you need to love yourself regardless and not give a shit about whether other people love you or not. Love yourself before loving anyone else.
Hmm great my_take, im in the process of moving to a better me than before. Hot AF too, now i just need to work on my ability to get out more often. Other than that is going good. I have determined that the more childish i act, the more the girl is attracted to me. I would like it to be different but so far it doesn't allow me to be able to fix that, girls in my region are so surface. I want depth.
But what if I'm generally a nice guy BUT would never do literally anything she asks me for and wouldn't go out of my way for her? I mean, I have principles of my own -chief among them is to not be a pushower.
I agree, don't be a whiny #niceguy who is only nice to people when he thinks he can get something in return or guilt them into giving him what he wants. Be a kind person, who is kind without demanding sex and love for just acting decent.
there is no such thing as a nice guy or bad boy because we all have different personalities out there so it's impossible every nice guy or bad boy is the same person. everything here is wrong.
It's true, we do all have different personalities. But I have seen a lot of people do the exact same thing, regardless of their personality. I am not grouping all nice guys, it is obviously better to be nice than to be an ass. I'm talking about the ones that DON'T tell anyone about their feelings and expect the other to have feelings for them or dream about swooping in and having the other person say "Where have you been all my life?". Because it's unrealistic.
Sorry but I have to massively disagree I'm a nice guy and I've been with every woman I've ever tried to get and have no issues getting women.
Ok then, good for you. But did you initially tell the how you feel or did you wait and do everything for them, no matter what it was? Most "nice guys" go for a girl that doesn't seem romantically involved and try to make something out of nothing. Because a lot of people "want what they can't have". It's been true for me in the past.
I don't have issues getting girls either, but in the past I have specifically wanted the ones that did not show interest because I liked the chase. There isn't 1 person on this earth that could get anyone they wanted, and there never will be.
Nope I've never tried to make something out of nothing it's always been a two way street feelings wise. And no I never did everything for them either.
Exactly, that's what you're suppose to do. The "nice guy mentality" is to do things for the girl to earn their attention, instead of being straight up and telling them what they feel.
Yeah except I don't do that because they're a girl or because I want their attention it is just how I am.
Meh... It more so that girls test everyone, and tend to start drama to see what they can get away with... Some guys stand up to them. Some guys don't. *throws hands up*
I guess I should clarify... She wants to know if you are a wimp or a man. If you keep getting shit on it's because you're failing her tests. She does the same thing to us, we just don't want to play her fucking game so we look like an asshole to you, but it's really her that's being the asshole to everyone because she has trust issues, she's insecure, she's not confident enough to take risks on people, so she fucks with everyone's head.
Right. I'm talking about the "nice guys" that live to serve, not show what they have. They do whatever the girl wants, which is self-destructive, because they put themselves in the friendzoned and then complain that "All girls like douchebags". Which is completely false, douchebags just have confidence and they don't.
I've learned from my mistakes, but most take longer or they just never get it. I will never use a girl, or act like a dbag towards them. But I will also never be a servant to a girl who has no interest, there is no gain. People just need to say how they feel instead of bottling it up inside. I'm a victim of this, but in the future, I'm not going to play the bs games. I'm over it. If they like me, they'll still like me. If not, oh well, I'll find someone else. I'm tired of playing mind games, and I think the rest of the "nice guys" need to get over it also. But I know not everyone will.
I don't even know why i clicked on this. But i im so tired of trying to argue the opposite!
So you are in favor of the nice guys that get stepped on by girls that don't like them? This myTake is not about all nice guys, I'm talking about the ones that secretly only want to bone the girl and get upset because she doesn't like them back because it all has to do with lust.
Should probably make that more clear next time in the opening.
@ObscuredBeyond I figured people would understand whenever I put "nice guys" in quotes. It's like whenever someone does the air quotes in person. It's sorta like a sarcastic comment.
simply they follow their basic instinct of searching for safety which they can find in bad guys more since they tend to be more aggressive and self confident !
It's not about being "nice" You should strive to be a good and kind person. "Nice" can be interpreted as surface, and manipulative.
manipulation only comes from being one sided
and surface is only to not having any validation for yourself
manipulation is not aligned with the "NICE GUYS"
cause "NICE GUYS" don't think of themselves more than anybody else
cause they think more of people then they do themselves
Women plays with men's head just as much as men plays with women's heart. friends with benefits to a woman is like friendzone to a man. We just gotta learn how to walk away from it
Exactly man. Mind games are stupid to begin with, it's like a substitute for not having confidence or self-esteem. If everyone would just assert their feelings to begin with, "nice guys" wouldn't be as much of a problem.
You were never a nice guy. I agree with love-travel here100%
you did things for girls only cuz you had romantic interests.
See my response to love-travel.
"you did things for girls only cuz you had romantic interests."
Because he might have done this to some doesn't mean he did it to all or most, and neither you nor I know that he might have done acts of tremendous kindness to people he had no romantic interest in.
Actually no, don't assume. The last "friendship" I had with a girl, was the worst one. It really brought me down, and I did not even like her at all in the beginning. I was not sure of my feelings in the least, something might happen, something might not. I didn't know. But as I got closer with her, I started liking her more and she started liking me less. So it ended up with her thinking of me as a friend, and me thinking of her as a romantic interest. But that is not how it started. And I've only fallen for 2 girls, the rest where girls I never knew, and knew I would never talk too. That's why I fell for them.
And also, you don't know me. If I was "never a nice guy", then I would have used the girls who have liked me in the past and wanted something more. I could have lied and said I wanted to be with them, then hit-it-and-quit-it and be done. But I didn't do that, because that is a shitty move and I absolutely hate hurting people.
I have met a lot of self-proclaimed nice guys who aren't actually nice. They are nice to girls for the sole intention of bringing them home at the end of the night/dating them. But if a guy is genuinely nice (very few are) girls always appreciate it. I have met a lot of guys who think I owe them something cuz they held the door for me or bought me lunch. I never do "nice" things for people and I only do "right" things.
Those are just douchebags in general from the way you said it. They just want a hookup, and there's nothing wrong with that, because some girls only want that too. That's something that you would run into at a bar, or a party. I'm talking mainly about the "nice guys" that do nice things for girls every single day, because it's a friend, but they expect more eventually as like a "payment". Basically the same principle, it's just the "nice guys" take longer and have less of a chance of actually getting the girl and lack the confidence of trying to get the girls physical attraction.
And what do you mean as "genuinely nice"? Like doing nice things every once in a while, but not all the time or what?
My brother offers free tutoring sessions to help people who are struggling with calculus at his university. It should be considered a purely altruistic act. He is a nice person.
My uncle volunteers at the local transition home ( battered women's shelter if you don't like euphemisms) He often let these women stay at his place rent-free for weeks. He is a single dad and has no intention of dating these women. He is a nice guy.
But most people aren't like them.
Yes, they are great people for helping people like that. Good for them, I'm glad people still care. And I agree, good people like that are seldom, but I still don't understand why you think I'm not a nice person. Yes I've been nice with ulterior motives in the past, but now I will make it known I like them before, and also do nice things for them. But I don't need to feel attracted to someone to do good things. I help girls who I don't like if I know they need someone to talk to or whatever, same with guys.
I'm the "relationship adviser" friend. I very rarely date, but I like listening to people and trying to help them make better decision, most of my advice comes from dating/relationship issues. Yet I never date, but my advice is pretty sound when I talk to someone. Because love gets in the way of rational thinking, so when you have someone outside of your relationship that isn't biased, it helps. It's easier to do with my friends, because I know them and their significant other.
But I have talked to people I literally just met about stuff before. I've always liked making people happy and to laugh. Happiness is really the only thing that matters in life, other than your beliefs.
It blows my mind that some guys hold back on complimenting women because they are afraid of sounding too nice. They think acting aloof and uninterested is the way to a girl's heart. I have two younger brothers and I always tell them to be nice to everyone. I never said you were a bad person. I don't know you. But I just think the term "nice guys" should be used to describe guys who are actually nice.
"I don't know you"
Correct, though for some reason you think you know him well enough on the basis of one mytake to write the pronouncement, "You were never a nice guy."
For all you know he might have done wonderful things for people that might have offset the bad things he's done and then some.
@ myTake Owner physical attraction is only skin deep it can't get anymore then that if you only have one quality
it's not up for you to make people into something their not and it sounds like that this person of this myTake is trying to do that
and secondly you don't have a fucking right forcing you're beliefs on other people
A girl can't walk on you or use you as a doormat if you ignore them
Exactly, most "nice guys" don't do that.
I get classified as nice but i ignore them
yeah we do @myTake Owner
I love the nice guy types they are the best!!!
I agree, as long as they're genuine and not just acting nice to get the girl, which is so often the case initially.
I have a bridge to sell you are you interested?
@Touglyforfemales LOL
seems to me that most of you really don't value yourself very much
It's how you play the ''head games''..
These bitches aren't worth being nice to