Why The Nice Guy May Be The Worst Guy


Why The Nice Guy May Be The Worst Guy

Let’s preface this by saying I am incredibly single. Sure, it’s not like this was a choice I consciously sought out in my life - but things have a tendency to work out unexpectedly. It’s not like I haven’t tried, but failed relationship after failed relationship has a way of screwing with your head, and eventually you lose hope. Despite the fails, as any hopeful single female understands, you have to keep trying.

Living in a big city, there are countless ways to meet guys - and trust me, I’ve tried all of them. Dating apps, mutual friend set ups, business connections, the guy at the bar, you name it. There have been the a**holes, the players, the liars, the jerks, but my newest dating category I’ve been trying may be the worst thus far. Meet: the “nice guy”. Everyone always says you’ll eventually come to your senses and realize the nice guy is the guy who will treat you the way you deserve. Sure in theory that sounds grand, but what I’ve come to realize is the “nice guy” isn’t necessarily the nice guy at all.

You see, I’m not exactly a shy, timid female. I may be sweet and lady-like, but I’ve learned through this turbulent dating cycle that the only way to get what you want is to speak up. Though a jerk may hurt your feelings with a “he’s just not that into you” speech, at least he’s blunt and to the point. Close the chapter. Walk away. Done and done.

So what is it like dating the so-called “nice guy”?


One of the most admirable qualities of a nice guy is that he holds his standards of respecting women. He prides himself on taking things slow, not making sex a priority, and really enjoying the one-on-one courting process. The dates are amazing, the conversations are memorable, and you begin to swirl in excitement that you’ve finally met someone who treats you the way you deserve to be treated. Hello, prince charming.


As time continues, the excitement begins to wear as things progress at the speed of a snail. What I’ve learned with the nice guy is that finding where you stand isn’t easy. Since the “nice guy” is actually nice, he’s not going to push things - but taking things slow takes on a whole new meaning with this guy, and you begin to wonder if things are progressing or if you are heading directly into the friend zone. Don’t get me wrong, I completely appreciate being treated like a lady - but there comes a point after a couple months when you just need to know if there’s a physical connection.


The key part of why the nice guy isn’t the nice guy in my experience is “the fizzle”. When a nice guy decides you’re not the one, rather than actually telling you his feelings, he starts the process of gradually letting the relationship die a slow and painful death. The dates become more spaced out, the texts are further apart, and his work schedule magically intensifies overnight. Despite this change in action, the conversations remain the same.

As the fizzle continues, you become consumed with a series of negative thoughts wondering why things have changed. You question your sanity wondering if you’re crazy for thinking things are regressing. You suddenly feel irrational and confused that the time you’re spending together is vastly decreasing, the physical connection is still not a priority, but yet his calls and texts are still caring and interested.


There’s nothing worse than getting dumped, but realizing you are getting dumped while you think you are dumping someone is in fact worse. The “nice guy” doesn’t want to hurt your feelings, so he avoids the conversation all together. As things slowly fizzle, you begin to wonder if you should end things. Though you can’t place a finger on what exactly the issue is, you mentally prepare yourself for the break up talk. Rather than sensing a feeling of shock and a “let’s work this out” reply you were hoping for, you hear “I’m happy you brought this up, because I’ve been feeling the same way.”

All of a sudden, clarity shines in. The “nice guy” has mind f*cked you into breaking up with him. Somehow throughout this long, drawn out process, you are faced with the reality that he hasn’t been into you for quite some time. Since a “nice guy” doesn’t want to hurt your feelings if things don’t work out, he backs away silently and slowly until the breakup becomes YOUR idea.

So just like that, you broke your own heart.

Why The Nice Guy May Be The Worst Guy
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Most Helpful Girl

  • Firework344
    I have been dating the nicest guy for about 7 months now. He has a tough work schedule but that's because it's that kind of job. But sometimes if he gets the chance he changes his schedule to spend time with me. Sure our conversations might get boring, but they can also be fun and goofy. He even made me the most beautiful romantic anniversary gift for our 6th month. I made his two, but what he got me was just so touching, and thoughtful. I'm not the easiest girl to handle. I can get moody, tired and I do tend to complain. But I know he loves me even when things may seem slow and we may not get to see each other all the time.

    I think at times I take him for granted. That I am not giving him enough credit. He works so hard, and is tired often and yet from time to time he goes out of his way to show how much he cares.

    I just need to breathe, relax and remember this guy loves me, I have nothing to worry about. Cause quite frankly I am scared things could end, cause I met a lot of shitty guys in the past, and this guy he is like a dream come true. But you know what he told me, he said he was scared too. He doesn't want to lose me.

    I have found my true love, I know it. Things may not always be easy but that's life. There will be good times and bad times. But with a little faith you might just find what you are looking for, or it might find you.
    Is this still revelant?
    • alisen9928

      only people who've found something good say that- its bs because there are millions who haven't.. more like, i got lucky and its sad you haven't. its nice to find something good, and people that do are lucky these days

    • @alisen9928 I wasn't trying to rub it your face and I wasn't saying its sad you haven't either. I never thought i would find someone. I dated some pretty horrible guys too that made me feel like I wasn't worth it like i would never be loved. But in time i did find someone. Its not easy out there for any one. And its not about luck either. I took chances and put myself out there despite how many times i got shot down but i kept trying. If you dont try, it may not happen. Relationships take work and time. With any kind of guy, just have to give them a chance and have an open mind and heart. Nice guys come in many shapes and forms, and have different qualities. No one is going to be perfect, but if two people are wiling to commit and communicate and work through issues/problems they have a fighting chance to make it the long run.

      I hope this makes sense. Its late and I'm tired. Lol.

Most Helpful Guy

  • OlderAndWiser
    I am an unrepentant nice guy and I know other guys who have the same attitudes that I do. I am currently in a monogamous relationship and I am 100% committed to my girlfriend, but if I was not in a relationship. . .

    When I meet a girl, if I do not feel a physical attraction, I don't ask her for a date. If it is an internet connection and our first meeting does not have any spark or sizzle, I don't ask her for another date. If I see a woman for a second date, it means I am attracted. By the third or fourth date, she will know that I want a physical relationship but I will also patiently wait until she is ready. If we need to break up, I will do it and I will not waste time with delaying the inevitable.

    Some "nice guys" are shy, afraid, insecure, and not assertive, but we are not all that way.
    Is this still revelant?
    • Bobba_Fett

      I'm one.

      I've heard 'you're too nice for your own good' about 800 times
      I have to look at myself in the mirror, and were I the guy that is on the other side of the nice guy coin, I couldn't sleep at night.

    • Spot on !

    • JPSAM

      i totally agree.

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What Girls & Guys Said

  • Prof_Don
    Women do "the fizzle" and "the twist"...

    Welcome to what us men deal with all the time!


    Then again, maybe that is why this bothers u so much.

    Doing "the fizzle" and "the twist" come of as very womanly behavior... so it makes sense why this type of behavior in a "guy" disgusts u so much! ;-)
  • the_rake
    I loled because what you described isn't niceness or even an attempt to be nice. It is just men's own version of the push-pull game that women always use on men. Typically if a man does this, it's to get relationship experience with a woman he's not interested in. This experience is more likely to make him seem more attractive to other women that he is. Mind fucking YOU into breaking up is a way of avoiding the guilt trip. Then when people ask why he's single he can say truthfully that he lowered his standards and that he tried, bla bla but women in general are just not interested in him. This way he avoids a heap of bullshit from guys telling him he should ' settle' for women he isn't attracted to.

    But the bullshit women do, it's totally fair because their games are 100 times worse and more insidious. It's actually a GOOD thing some guys take the initiative to 'pussy tease' the opposite sex a bit (give them a taste of their own medicine). Women do all this bullshit on an instinctive level and don't even realise it! That's why they're always two steps ahead of most men when it comes to dating.
    • Johnagain

      Excellent point!!! Women do this mind fuck thing all the time. I'm fed up with It and will NOT be out played. That's why I'm through with relationships... period! That's why I'm offended if or when called a "player" or accused of "playing games." I'm a man. I'm real! "Papa don't take noooooo mess!"

    • the_rake

      @Johnagain yea op basically described your average girl. basically people (women mainly) do this to sift through people they don't want because that way, they no longer appear shallow because it's not that they don't want the partner, just that the partner doesn't want them. because women do this kind of thing so frequently, men sometimes (but less frequently) do this themselves as a defence mechanism. It's not their fault: women have created this situation with all their mind fuckery. Only way to win is fight fire with fire 🔥

  • Battooot
    This process you mentioned is quite accurate, but it applies to people, not nice guys. Even girls do these same things to guys, don't think you are the only one. Girls go even further and do it way worse where many of them don't even reply at all.

    I'm an incredibly nice guy, and i don't fall in that category you mentioned. I'm quite the opposite. I like that my lady and I are always honest with each other, i love when she's blunt. I'm extremely nice and very respectful, i would never do anything to bother any person unless they did something bad to me. At the same time, i'm very straight forward, and i say my mind. I will hit on the girl and flirt with her the moment i go out with her especially if she had nice eyes. I'm very direct to know where the relationship is going and i set the grounds from the beginning. Does this fall in the category you mentioned about nice guys? No.

    What you mentioned is the guys that have a rather weaker 'personality' or lower confidence. They want to avoid conflict as much as possible because they don't know how to deal with it since they are mentally weak and they don't know how to communicate their thoughts. They could be nice guys they could be bad boyish type guys, this behavior you mentioned is a personality trait it depends on the person not on the category. Category says nothing except little general stuff.

    I was seeing this girl for about a month, i liked her, found her verrrrry attractive, and she had beautiful eyes. She fell in love with me, but i couldn't fall in love with her, the more i found out about her the more i knew she wasn't what i'm looking for. When i knew that she really loves me and was internally thinking of having a future with me, i didn't do any of what you mentioned. I just met with her, told her the truth bluntly that i cannot have a future with her (in the nicest way possible) and i apologized to her and hugged her and walked her to her place.
  • Bandit74
    "He prides himself on taking things slow, not making sex a priority, and really enjoying the one-on-one courting process."

    Bassically the nice guy is the safe and reliable option. The one who pays to take you on dates and waits months for sex while the non-nice guys are the ones you truly lust after and hop into bed with by the third date.

    Yeah, I agree the nice guy is the worst, I'd much rather be the other guy.
    • The real issue here though is not that he doesn't hop into bed, it's that once the relationship is up, you start to just not meet up as often and text as often and do nice things as often and you somewhat start avoiding them without telling them that you are explicitly avoiding them and then they feel something is "off" and when they feel that the relationship is dying then they essentially have themselves dumped.

      It's actually quite manipulative to get them to feel like they should end the relationship just because you don't really want to do it even when you feel like you should.

  • Bvroon
    I'm admittedly one of those nice guys you mentioned, and I will be the first to admit that if things don't seem to be going well, I will also start the slow death syndrome (SDS) and just as you indicated I will forever remain pleasant and easy to talk to, however I will begin to distance myself from you, slowly and patiently, then as all of your self doubt and confusion consume you, you will realize that we were not meant to be and the break up will inevitably and predictably be your idea.

    I would also as you indicated in your take not want to hurt your feelings, but had never thought about how it must be from the other side of the fence in that the girl believes she has broken her own heart. This is an important insight. Perhaps some communication between myself and the girl I'm distancing myself from would help alleviate some of this pain. I say this in the sense that if I were to say, that while I really think she is a great person, sometimes things just don't work out, and while separating may be painful, this is not because it is anybody's fault and no-one is to blame here.

    Granted I know that this may not fix everything, but it may establish the groundwork for us to remain friends. I remember doing this with a lady I was seeing, and while it is true we did in fact split up we are still friends today.

    Lastly, I know that the (SDS) seems rather cruel and calculating, it is really not my intent to be evil, it is done more out of a sense of not wanting to hurt feelings. I remember a girlfriend I had when I was in high school, and she really liked me, and admittedly I really liked that she liked me, however I wasn't attracted to her, and she wasn't big on communication, and I didn't want to take advantage of her and get involved in a physical relationship with her, just to break up with her, so before things got to that stage, I broke up with her and I was honest, which crushed her, and while this was about 27 years ago, I still feel bad for hurting her, and I can only take some small degree of comfort from knowing I didn't lie or betray her trust... :-(
  • ManOnFire
    You noted that you're still single. It sounds like you're really just upset because you can't hit it off with any guys, whether they're "nice" or not. Having said that, by reading this I don't really see much maturity in you, which is probably a large part of your problem.
  • milightman
    That's how a nice guy dates? Yeah that kind of sounds frustrating so I can see how that could work pan out in hating them. I always thought being nice was just being compassionate, selfless, and understanding, not having a specific dating habit. I would be frustrated dating someone like that as well.

    I do things in the beginning phases like that as well with all dates but differently. Like my version of going slow is when to make them my girlfriend. It'd take me months to even consider it because I want to get pass the honeymoon phase. I don't like to make serious decisions on the heat of the moment because that's all emotional to me, and I want to see if we're actually compatible when its all said and done. But I don't hold out on sex if I feel she's up for it.

    Confusion, okay yeah I have this problem where I don't even know where things are going myself so it probably makes her confused. The reason being is every time I try to be straight forward, or have the talk of how things are going, or give a little push. They seem to lose interest. So now I don't like to come off as needy, and just go with the flow of things. So for me I make moves based on how much interests she's conveying and well... I tend to do this the whole way of the of us getting to know each other. If I don't feel like she's like trying to flirt with me in any slightest, I won't flirt. Trying to work on this but I seem to always get the wrong end of the stick when I do otherwise.

    The fizzling out part happens to me if anything. And so again, I can relate on how frustrating that part can get.

    So yeah I can see how that's frustrating to date this "nice guy".
  • AleDeEurope
    So... what can we be? Bad guy is wrong, and Nice guy is wrong. So what's left?
    This is the typical GAG girl mentality (and I hope it doesn't apply to real life women too), they think being a nice guy is just a mask to hurt her. So basically every man is out there to hurt women, cause the asshole, jerk, bad guy will hurt her, and now the nice guy is gonna hurt her too.
    It's a passive aggressive way to show their bitterness and hate towards men.

    Just date yourself, go out to dinner with a mirror and have fun by yourself if you're just gonna think every guy is gonna hurt you. Maybe the problem is you...
    • Agrojag

      Exactly! Thank you for speaking some sense.

    • That last part was a bit harsh. I don't think she means all men. She's just had really bad experiences with a few guys who didn't have the courtesy to tell her he was no longer interested. The fizzle and twist as she described are the most painful and agonizing.

    • sweettckae

      It doesn't apply to real women, it doesn't to me at least. I think she was just basing this off from her own experience, she doesn't have much information. Sometimes "nice guys" are the prize, the one she met was probably an idiot.

    • Show All
  • 10dsw
    Weird... I would totally fit the jerk/a**hole category... and when I am not interested in a girl, I just stop texting her, period. This is the nice way to do things? What's the a**hole way then? Showing up at the girls door with a chainsaw?
  • Rufus335
    I don't know what nice guy treated you this way. I'm proud of my nice guy tendencies and in a lot of regards your take exactly portrays how I go about dating.

    What I have to say is this though, you are probably being fizzled down because you are acting uninterested. You as the lady are not pushing the relationship. I've had a few girls force me into bed after like the third date "usually the third date" if they don't then yes I lose interest but I'm usually the one that's put up and left behind. Anyways my point is that these nice guys are actually just timid guys. I want the girl to jump me and ignite the relationship to the next level, I've done all the work thus far asking her out planning the dates etc, and this works well for me cuz I end up dating a sexually explorative social butterfly who's straight forward exciting and that's what I want. If this makes me a bad guy then you girls are fucked up beyond repair. The nice guy should be your ideal but obviously if you show no effort or work the relationship will obviously not fizzle

    Trust me next time you go for the good guy try being a little more aggressive yourself and if the relationship fizzles and he leaves you off then you weren't actually dating a nice guy, you were dating a player who acted nice to get in your pants.

    It's called the pussy/$$$ ratio, guys have told me they will spend up to $100 on a date but if they don't get laid they move on. This may turn into 3-4 dates.

    Sometimes the emotional attraction just doesn't work out but your conclusion on nice guys is wrong. Your overall view on the procession of the relationship and game is dead on balls accurate but a real nice guy will not end it that way. They are not trying to mind fuck you, they are giving you a chance. They are putting the ball in your court and want to see you're reaction. If that's not a game you want to play then move on there plenty of jerks and ass holes that will treat you like shit.
  • RationalMale
    i love these type of articles. let's tell the guys that if theyre being nice, thats being an asshole.
    • Johnagain

      Well now. To each his / her own. Be whatever. I'm singing the Alice Cooper song now. Labels, labels... *Sigh* What might be helpful is that the expectations a lady like this has to be treated a certain way, this isn't the type of girl we're necessarily looking for anyway. Woof!

    • Lose / lose situation, ha ha!

    • Well if they're actually being an asshole by being nice, then yeah.

    • Show All
  • MrMysteriousofEarth
    I admit that some men maybe guilty of this, but remember, there are nice girls as well as nice guys that are also guilty of this, as I have learnt from my past mistakes. There are members of both genders who are equally guilty of doing what you described, so don't just blame men and be biased, be fair and blame all who do this, including females.
  • RinXD
    So um not all of us are like that some of us are just very shy at the start so we prefer to take things slow and get a feel for things... The more comfortable we feel around you the more likely we are to take the lead or be more assertive about things. A lot of us go slow because were scared if we move too fast we will scare you off
  • Zumba_dancing_27
    Well I would like a nice guy too, but maybe if they are too nice sometimes they are hiding things or they are scared to touch, or brake you and all that stuff. Maybe guys and ladies need to rethink nice as being someone who cares, wants to provide for you and wants you to do well in life, who isn’t afraid of doing anything because he might brake you or injure you.
  • Mesonfielde
    ... jokes on me, that's exactly something I would do.

    But if you want to work it out, you ought to say you want to work it out, not that you're dumping them. If they felt the relationship is inadequate, then they won't try to fix it if you seal the deal already prior.
    • Technically if the relationship is THAT bad and completely hopeless, then it should give enough motivation to just end it though.

  • Bear91
    Can I disagree a little? I've been a "nice guy" when I was younger and less Experian ed... but I didn't do this.. After a month or so I wanted to know where I stood with the girl physically and emotionally, if I wanted it to end I would of ended it not in a dragged out way to show respect for that person. If anything I was too into it not distant what you describe sounds more like emotionally unavailable man. No one likes a nice guy they finish last. Be a good guy
  • steven7890789
    Most women are the same way, they ignore your texts, facebook messages or whatever if they are not interested regardless if they are not nice or nice. And no I am not jaded, I have been dating a woman for a while. I just felt like telling you women do the ignoring thing too a lot. I don't agree with it though.
  • yellowmamba024
    Yes, a woman bashing nice guys to find excuses for dating the bad guys and jerks. And not all nice guys are what you described.
  • Omar5881
    You westerns define "nice guy " weirdly like really weird lol
    • That's just man-hating women. They think every man is evil, that's why even a nice guy is treated as a bad one.
      Thank goodness it's more of an Internet thing, in real life women aren't like this.

    • 0112358

      It's something that used to be rare, but what's happened in the west is many young men grow up being, basically deferential to women, but not from any sort of position of power or authority. They attempt to serve women, and women for the most part aren't attracted to men like that. So we have this dichotomy where as a group men have done many bad things to women, so we have a culture where we push boys to be less and less aggressive and more and more supplicating, while individually, most women want 'strong' men.

      We are not doing a good job of teaching boys to be strong and caring -leaders- in their relationships.

    • Applefan1

      @AleDeEurope in real life women seem to be like this to.

  • gaaxure
    So, basically your two main reasons for not liking nice guys are: Your own insecurities ("finding where you stand isn’t easy"), and that when he gets to know you well and finds out that you're not the princess he thought to be he doesn't throw a fit and leave you sobbing in a cafe?
  • LoloWaye
    When I think of the "nice guy" I imagine the guy who tells you he's noce, does all these things for you and then expects you to reciprocate his feelings because he is the "nice guy." The nice guy believes that because he is not an asshole, he shows genuine care for the girl, simply that he's nice. The girl should pick him and is wrong when she doesn't because she's missing out.

    It sounds like a guy who didn't have the balls to tell you he wasn't interested anymore.
    • @LoloWaye most women are the same way about ignoring texts, etc. when they are too chicken to tell the truth since they are ''afraid to hurt the person's feelings.'' I think people should be honest, but I don't like the hypocrisy here of someone posting. Women are far more known to do things like this.

    • LoloWaye

      @steven7890789 I agree with that. I'm actually believe women are worse at it than men, but that's just from what I've been around and seen.

    • @LoloWayne then why are you mad at the guy this woman is is talking about? Are you saying you don't agree with it when women do it either? I am shocked if you are not a hypocrite.

    • Show All
  • chriss
    its all wrong everyone has different personalities so what you are saying is all wrong. it cannot be that every nice guy is the same impossible with all the different personalities out there
  • mrsingle
    There is nothing wrong taking things slow. We want to make sure you are who you say you are and not using us! If a guy takes you out alone it's a date not a friend hang out. If you want physical intimacy talk to your partner and don't be shy! I'm sure he will open up to you and say what's on his mind.
  • loveisbeautiful
    I think they should change the name of this site to "girls bash guys. com". All I every see lately is woman after woman, writing take after take saying all these bad things about guys and then putting them all in the same general category. Like no guys is his own individual person and if one guys is like that, they all must be like that. I understand that men bash and put women in general categories on here as well, but feels like women do it more.

    Now to what you wrote, wouldn't you much rather have somebody who's so nice they don't know how to hurt you, as opposed to someone who doesn't care if they hurt you at all? I understand things can be frustrating but out of all the guys you dated the nice guy should be the best not the worst.
    • alisen9928

      and they shud name this, idiot trying to kiss guy's asses. a guy posts about women being bitches and gets helpful replies.. this woman isn't bashing men either.. just trying to give an opinion

    • @alisen9928 Okay. Sorry I misunderstood.

  • timetraveller1
    alright i should not be saying this but LOL, the sarcasm in your lines absolutely made my evening. I can genuinely understand your point of view, it actually gives a very different perspective to the male world.
  • ABadUsername
    There's no such thing as the "nice guy", asshole, or the edgy guy. There's just a list of dudes that you've met. No matter who you meet (guy or girl) they're an individual, and not part of some category you made up in your head.

    For many there are dudes that fit the nice guy picture and may be very direct with their feelings, just like many assholes can be wishy-washy and drag you along for comfort sex. For all you know your version of the nice guy might not be the nice guy other women think about.

    I see this a lot with guys that have had bad relationships with girls and really start to believe all outgoing girls are sluts, nerdy girls are needy and crazy, or generally that girls are scum of the earth.

    For those guys and for yourself those labels may hold true for people you date in the future to reinforce that opinion but that doesn't mean it's true, nor that it's true for everyone else. Every person you date is unique.
  • Jayded1
    As a guy similar in some ways to what you describe. only waiting a couple months? My idea of slow is a couple weeks and just not date #1. Also I like to end things a little quicker if thats the case, but i HATE doing it because I feel like shit. Great post.
  • AndrewTroy
    So… every woman is a nice guy. And it's not possible for two nice guys to date. Because someone has to push. Someone has to do the asking out. The work of seduction. The work of starting the relationship has to fall to someone. And let's be honest here… you ain't gonna do it. So it'll be us. The boys ;)
  • thetundrawolf
    @xPennyLanex you are absolutely right. I have done this to women, and now it's being done to me. It hurts. It sucks. It's a slow, agonizing death. Needless. No communication.
  • justbanANNAz
    i don't know, i think anyone can mindfuck u into breaking up with them. players or bad boys can do that too, just in a different way.

    taking it slow isn't necessarily a bad thing, and u should know that him taking it slow is like, 'I'm so attracted to u, but i respect u more'.

    the thing is, while i can understand ur view, this is just so confusing to men. should they be nice or should they be bad? women can't seem to appreciate one. there is nothing wrong with a nice guy who has good intentions, even if they pan out over years. whether or not he dumps u comes down to his view. when we grow, we change. maybe his perspective changed. nothing wrong with that. he knows what he wants and he wants to move on.
  • Steve4783
    You have to realise that a lot of guys want to be the nice guy and a lot of even try to act like one and can even be very good at it.
    If you want to try the nice guy, he's the guy who is always single and doesn't stand out.
    Most girls only date 1 or 2 different kinds of guys but there multiple types of guys so most of the time there are girls thinking they are dating the nice guy but dont realise they either with a guy pretending to be nice or a completely different guy.
  • Darkone1
    Well you need to understand that
    "There is no such thing as a nice guy every one is just acting nice to get into her pants"
  • Chief16
    Riiight. Its funny how women always find ways to blame the guy. Good, bad or a complete asshole. They're impartial. They stone everyone indiscriminately.
  • tyber1
    From my own experience, women are the ones who are more likely to act like that.
    • tyber1

      Also this just reads as a poor justification of dating jerks.

  • 26ukdude
    Yes it works both ways, nice guys getting constantly rejected by women, and now you got dumped by one. Ouch
  • BigJake
    You seem to be the type of person who blames other people for most things that happen in your life. Just because a guy didn't do what you wanted him to do doesn't mean that there's this entire class of evil guys who are trying to destroy your life.
  • RainbowFanGirl
    If being a bad guy is bad... and being a good guy is worse...

    Then what's left to be?
    • AdamThomas

      This is why it's easier to be an asshole, we're assholes either way, even if we're nice lol...

  • UtopianLobotomy
    I was going to say something sarcastic, but I think most of the guys have already said it.

    LOL, you suck.
    • I mean your take sucked, as the psychologists used to say before the profession became a mouthpiece for social engineering propaganda, the only person who can break a narcissist's heart are themselves.

  • ceative__very
    Being a semi-nice guy. I learned..
    To speak quickly what the fuck we want
    This guy is not The Nice Guy this is the shy non-dominant nerdy guy u are talking about
    Good take though I realised something that I should do :p
  • notenough
    this is so off lol
    go study men, everything you expressed is from the female thought process
  • YourFutureEx
    THE FIZZLE technique is actually used by gentlemen jerks after sex, so that the girl don't become clingy.
  • BambooforPanda
    It's cowardice that masquerades as kindness. He's not doing it for you or any woman, he does it so that he looks good to you and to other people. The real story: there are no nice guys, just different guys. My favorite saying fits well in here too: "We're all assholes, the ones you have to worry about are the ones who haven't figured it out yet." It's not specifically about men but about people in general (before I get a million "nice guy" responses calling me out as a bitch lol, but on that note, I happen to know I'm an asshole).

    Main thing is you want to find people who have some self awareness, everyone has a nasty side, youself included. Being more aware of that makes you a better human being, not being what is so-called nice.
    • HikerDude

      You're right, you are an asshole. The fact that you think it's some badge of honor shows just what a sick little fucker you are.

    • @HikerDude That's okay sweety I don't expect you to understand what I meant.

    • HikerDude

      You don't even understand what you meant.

    • Show All
  • xslope
    Damn if you do, damn if you don't. Welcome to the world of men.
  • Woodyyyy
    This is just someone who lacks a spine... unfortunately a trait carried by most nice guys. Don't be fooled though, outgoing assholes also have this trait.
  • supernerd99
    the only thing i keep from this is that the common denominator of the failed relationships was you. my third relationship became my - for a life - wife.
  • BertMacklinFBI
    mmm, I think what you're referring to is a silly boy.
  • _Anime_lover_
    I been in this situation very recently and the worst thing is you sometimes know in your gut sometimes wrong, it's fizzling out but you start freaking out thinking everything possible yet it keeps going, then they pull the we need to step back and the friend card, ouch it was painful but since it took a while you get kinda prepared for it later it doesn't hurt so much. This nice guy who you thought was the one turns out to be the biggest arse-hole you ever dated and I learned a new lesson. There are great guys out there not saying there are not nice guys out there you just need to be careful. Right know I'm single and reevaluating what i want and happy :).!
    • Also some men just claim to be the nicest* its bullshit i realiced that too late. But i'm always gonna be hopeful and i know there's someone out there for everyone.

  • pinkbubble
    So if i understand well what u say then there is no guy girls can date with no probs? I agree with the second point u stated " the feezle " but then i think what women need is not a nice guy but a more matured version , a " Nice Man " he will still take things slow treat u how u deserve but doesn't act like a child and letting the relationship die if he is not interested , but then i guess it doesn't only depend on the guy any type of guy can change for the best if he finds the right woman with whom he shares his life ^^
  • lonerider
  • Gman77
    I'm a nice guy and straight-forward. My relationship is booming at 18 months, pun intended.