this is a stupid post- a guy that does that isn't the 'NICE guy'.. he's just a jerk pretending to be nice... the real nice guys don't pull that kind of crap on someone. many 'nice guys' out there are insecure, have self esteem issues and are scared or nervous when it comes to women. Their behavior comes off as passive aggressive sometimes or what ur talking about
5
6 Reply
Opinion Owner
+1 y
these guys aren't nice- they're assholes.. and idiots. If you speak your mind they break up or theyre not really into anyone. you have to learn to read them fast. luckily, all these kinds of idiots stay away from me or get scared b/c they know they can't fool me with their pathetic facade. they fool many young unsuspecting ones
Most women do the same thing as the guy she is talking about. I hear it from time to time again how women don't want to hurt someone's feelings so they ignore texts or ignore messages online, etc. Women do that stuff way more, so does that mean most women are jerks by your logic?(Sarcasm) And no I am not jaded, I am going to be in a relationship soon with a woman I have been dating for a while. I just wanted to post this, since the hypocrisy of someone on here is disgusting
you're an idiot steven... im talking about the posting.. not you.. get your arrogant head out of your ass you stupid cunt.. taking things personally... u men are crazy..
So um not all of us are like that some of us are just very shy at the start so we prefer to take things slow and get a feel for things... The more comfortable we feel around you the more likely we are to take the lead or be more assertive about things. A lot of us go slow because were scared if we move too fast we will scare you off
I admit that some men maybe guilty of this, but remember, there are nice girls as well as nice guys that are also guilty of this, as I have learnt from my past mistakes. There are members of both genders who are equally guilty of doing what you described, so don't just blame men and be biased, be fair and blame all who do this, including females.
Well I would like a nice guy too, but maybe if they are too nice sometimes they are hiding things or they are scared to touch, or brake you and all that stuff. Maybe guys and ladies need to rethink nice as being someone who cares, wants to provide for you and wants you to do well in life, who isn’t afraid of doing anything because he might brake you or injure you.
... jokes on me, that's exactly something I would do.
But if you want to work it out, you ought to say you want to work it out, not that you're dumping them. If they felt the relationship is inadequate, then they won't try to fix it if you seal the deal already prior.
I'm a nice guy and I have no problem telling a woman I'm no longer interested. I respect ladies, in fact I am patient in the physical aspect of relationships. However at date number 3 I'm wanting some kissing to happen so I'll go for it. I'm a nice guy, but I'm a nice guy who's blunt, to see black and white! I also no how to please a woman. You have to keep things interesting and if I'm not into them I'll tell them to their face, hey sorry but I'm no longer interested! That's just me though, you can't necessarily speak for all nice guys!
Can I disagree a little? I've been a "nice guy" when I was younger and less Experian ed... but I didn't do this.. After a month or so I wanted to know where I stood with the girl physically and emotionally, if I wanted it to end I would of ended it not in a dragged out way to show respect for that person. If anything I was too into it not distant what you describe sounds more like emotionally unavailable man. No one likes a nice guy they finish last. Be a good guy
Most women are the same way, they ignore your texts, facebook messages or whatever if they are not interested regardless if they are not nice or nice. And no I am not jaded, I have been dating a woman for a while. I just felt like telling you women do the ignoring thing too a lot. I don't agree with it though.
Weird... I would totally fit the jerk/a**hole category... and when I am not interested in a girl, I just stop texting her, period. This is the nice way to do things? What's the a**hole way then? Showing up at the girls door with a chainsaw?
So, basically your two main reasons for not liking nice guys are: Your own insecurities ("finding where you stand isn’t easy"), and that when he gets to know you well and finds out that you're not the princess he thought to be he doesn't throw a fit and leave you sobbing in a cafe?
When I think of the "nice guy" I imagine the guy who tells you he's noce, does all these things for you and then expects you to reciprocate his feelings because he is the "nice guy." The nice guy believes that because he is not an asshole, he shows genuine care for the girl, simply that he's nice. The girl should pick him and is wrong when she doesn't because she's missing out.
It sounds like a guy who didn't have the balls to tell you he wasn't interested anymore.
@LoloWaye most women are the same way about ignoring texts, etc. when they are too chicken to tell the truth since they are ''afraid to hurt the person's feelings.'' I think people should be honest, but I don't like the hypocrisy here of someone posting. Women are far more known to do things like this.
@LoloWayne then why are you mad at the guy this woman is is talking about? Are you saying you don't agree with it when women do it either? I am shocked if you are not a hypocrite.
@steven7890789 Lol wait I wasn't mad at all when I typed my response. I was just explaining what I thought the "nice guy" image was vs what she was explaining, which was an actually nice guy.
There is nothing wrong taking things slow. We want to make sure you are who you say you are and not using us! If a guy takes you out alone it's a date not a friend hang out. If you want physical intimacy talk to your partner and don't be shy! I'm sure he will open up to you and say what's on his mind.
1
0 Reply
Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
Being nice and being passive/non confrontational are two different things.
Well now. To each his / her own. Be whatever. I'm singing the Alice Cooper song now. Labels, labels... *Sigh* What might be helpful is that the expectations a lady like this has to be treated a certain way, this isn't the type of girl we're necessarily looking for anyway. Woof!
As a guy similar in some ways to what you describe. only waiting a couple months? My idea of slow is a couple weeks and just not date #1. Also I like to end things a little quicker if thats the case, but i HATE doing it because I feel like shit. Great post.
So… every woman is a nice guy. And it's not possible for two nice guys to date. Because someone has to push. Someone has to do the asking out. The work of seduction. The work of starting the relationship has to fall to someone. And let's be honest here… you ain't gonna do it. So it'll be us. The boys ;)
its all wrong everyone has different personalities so what you are saying is all wrong. it cannot be that every nice guy is the same impossible with all the different personalities out there
That's just man-hating women. They think every man is evil, that's why even a nice guy is treated as a bad one. Thank goodness it's more of an Internet thing, in real life women aren't like this.
It's something that used to be rare, but what's happened in the west is many young men grow up being, basically deferential to women, but not from any sort of position of power or authority. They attempt to serve women, and women for the most part aren't attracted to men like that. So we have this dichotomy where as a group men have done many bad things to women, so we have a culture where we push boys to be less and less aggressive and more and more supplicating, while individually, most women want 'strong' men.
We are not doing a good job of teaching boys to be strong and caring -leaders- in their relationships.
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
80Opinion
this is a stupid post- a guy that does that isn't the 'NICE guy'.. he's just a jerk pretending to be nice... the real nice guys don't pull that kind of crap on someone. many 'nice guys' out there are insecure, have self esteem issues and are scared or nervous when it comes to women. Their behavior comes off as passive aggressive sometimes or what ur talking about
these guys aren't nice- they're assholes.. and idiots. If you speak your mind they break up or theyre not really into anyone. you have to learn to read them fast. luckily, all these kinds of idiots stay away from me or get scared b/c they know they can't fool me with their pathetic facade. they fool many young unsuspecting ones
Tbh you just sound bitter.
The Opinion Owner I mean
no silver, you're bitter so are most guys--im speaking the truth.. what a moron
Most women do the same thing as the guy she is talking about. I hear it from time to time again how women don't want to hurt someone's feelings so they ignore texts or ignore messages online, etc. Women do that stuff way more, so does that mean most women are jerks by your logic?(Sarcasm) And no I am not jaded, I am going to be in a relationship soon with a woman I have been dating for a while. I just wanted to post this, since the hypocrisy of someone on here is disgusting
you're an idiot steven... im talking about the posting.. not you.. get your arrogant head out of your ass you stupid cunt.. taking things personally... u men are crazy..
So um not all of us are like that some of us are just very shy at the start so we prefer to take things slow and get a feel for things... The more comfortable we feel around you the more likely we are to take the lead or be more assertive about things. A lot of us go slow because were scared if we move too fast we will scare you off
I admit that some men maybe guilty of this, but remember, there are nice girls as well as nice guys that are also guilty of this, as I have learnt from my past mistakes. There are members of both genders who are equally guilty of doing what you described, so don't just blame men and be biased, be fair and blame all who do this, including females.
Well I would like a nice guy too, but maybe if they are too nice sometimes they are hiding things or they are scared to touch, or brake you and all that stuff. Maybe guys and ladies need to rethink nice as being someone who cares, wants to provide for you and wants you to do well in life, who isn’t afraid of doing anything because he might brake you or injure you.
... jokes on me, that's exactly something I would do.
But if you want to work it out, you ought to say you want to work it out, not that you're dumping them. If they felt the relationship is inadequate, then they won't try to fix it if you seal the deal already prior.
Technically if the relationship is THAT bad and completely hopeless, then it should give enough motivation to just end it though.
I'm a nice guy and I have no problem telling a woman I'm no longer interested. I respect ladies, in fact I am patient in the physical aspect of relationships. However at date number 3 I'm wanting some kissing to happen so I'll go for it. I'm a nice guy, but I'm a nice guy who's blunt, to see black and white! I also no how to please a woman. You have to keep things interesting and if I'm not into them I'll tell them to their face, hey sorry but I'm no longer interested! That's just me though, you can't necessarily speak for all nice guys!
Can I disagree a little? I've been a "nice guy" when I was younger and less Experian ed... but I didn't do this.. After a month or so I wanted to know where I stood with the girl physically and emotionally, if I wanted it to end I would of ended it not in a dragged out way to show respect for that person. If anything I was too into it not distant what you describe sounds more like emotionally unavailable man. No one likes a nice guy they finish last. Be a good guy
Most women are the same way, they ignore your texts, facebook messages or whatever if they are not interested regardless if they are not nice or nice. And no I am not jaded, I have been dating a woman for a while. I just felt like telling you women do the ignoring thing too a lot. I don't agree with it though.
@xPennyLanex true hurts doesn't it?
Weird... I would totally fit the jerk/a**hole category... and when I am not interested in a girl, I just stop texting her, period. This is the nice way to do things? What's the a**hole way then? Showing up at the girls door with a chainsaw?
So, basically your two main reasons for not liking nice guys are: Your own insecurities ("finding where you stand isn’t easy"), and that when he gets to know you well and finds out that you're not the princess he thought to be he doesn't throw a fit and leave you sobbing in a cafe?
When I think of the "nice guy" I imagine the guy who tells you he's noce, does all these things for you and then expects you to reciprocate his feelings because he is the "nice guy." The nice guy believes that because he is not an asshole, he shows genuine care for the girl, simply that he's nice. The girl should pick him and is wrong when she doesn't because she's missing out.
It sounds like a guy who didn't have the balls to tell you he wasn't interested anymore.
@LoloWaye most women are the same way about ignoring texts, etc. when they are too chicken to tell the truth since they are ''afraid to hurt the person's feelings.'' I think people should be honest, but I don't like the hypocrisy here of someone posting. Women are far more known to do things like this.
@steven7890789 I agree with that. I'm actually believe women are worse at it than men, but that's just from what I've been around and seen.
@LoloWayne then why are you mad at the guy this woman is is talking about? Are you saying you don't agree with it when women do it either? I am shocked if you are not a hypocrite.
@steven7890789 Lol wait I wasn't mad at all when I typed my response. I was just explaining what I thought the "nice guy" image was vs what she was explaining, which was an actually nice guy.
Oh sorry.
There is nothing wrong taking things slow. We want to make sure you are who you say you are and not using us! If a guy takes you out alone it's a date not a friend hang out. If you want physical intimacy talk to your partner and don't be shy! I'm sure he will open up to you and say what's on his mind.
Being nice and being passive/non confrontational are two different things.
Most women are non confrontational since they are always so afraid to hurt people's feelings. Some women are being hypocrites on these posts.
I'm not even sure the OP realizes the difference... For some reason, a lot of people don't.
i love these type of articles. let's tell the guys that if theyre being nice, thats being an asshole.
Well now. To each his / her own. Be whatever. I'm singing the Alice Cooper song now. Labels, labels... *Sigh* What might be helpful is that the expectations a lady like this has to be treated a certain way, this isn't the type of girl we're necessarily looking for anyway. Woof!
Lose / lose situation, ha ha!
Well if they're actually being an asshole by being nice, then yeah.
No seriously guys @Mesonfield @Johnagain @CountVronsky I gave this article a like and I hope you all did too haha
Yeah this was like watching Inception all over again. My brain did about 5 backflips reading this!
As a guy similar in some ways to what you describe. only waiting a couple months? My idea of slow is a couple weeks and just not date #1. Also I like to end things a little quicker if thats the case, but i HATE doing it because I feel like shit. Great post.
So… every woman is a nice guy. And it's not possible for two nice guys to date. Because someone has to push. Someone has to do the asking out. The work of seduction. The work of starting the relationship has to fall to someone. And let's be honest here… you ain't gonna do it. So it'll be us. The boys ;)
its all wrong everyone has different personalities so what you are saying is all wrong. it cannot be that every nice guy is the same impossible with all the different personalities out there
Yes, a woman bashing nice guys to find excuses for dating the bad guys and jerks. And not all nice guys are what you described.
I'm just a guy. Not nice. Sometimes I can be, sweet etc.. Not an asshole. Somtimes I can be. Just a guy.
Moral of this story is:
No matter what you are, someone will love it, someone will accept it, someone will judge it and someone will hate it.
You westerns define "nice guy " weirdly like really weird lol
That's just man-hating women. They think every man is evil, that's why even a nice guy is treated as a bad one.
Thank goodness it's more of an Internet thing, in real life women aren't like this.
It's something that used to be rare, but what's happened in the west is many young men grow up being, basically deferential to women, but not from any sort of position of power or authority. They attempt to serve women, and women for the most part aren't attracted to men like that. So we have this dichotomy where as a group men have done many bad things to women, so we have a culture where we push boys to be less and less aggressive and more and more supplicating, while individually, most women want 'strong' men.
We are not doing a good job of teaching boys to be strong and caring -leaders- in their relationships.
@AleDeEurope in real life women seem to be like this to.