Men & Their Appalling Behavior on Dating Sites

[Anonymous]

When it comes to dating sites and apps women have to take into account the experiences they'll have to deal with along the way. Any woman on a dating site has experienced at least one of these incidents if not all; the classic dick pic, nudes? , generally terrible messages detailing sex or violent reactions from rejection. God forbid it all once you say no or I'm not interested.

As a bisexual woman I got to experience first hand how both men and women on these sites handle themselves. I have gotten messages of disdain and overall terribleness from women for rejecting them or otherwise, but not at the rate I got from men. For every terror of a woman I got in my inbox I got at least 6 men doing the very same thing if not worse. The bad ones really sully it for the good guys as a lot of women can become immediately hostile of any sort of message coming their way from good men ultimately defeating the purpose of them even joining the dating site. For the love of all that is holy be like this guy:

When women get reactions like this, the men are definitely reconsidered most of the time.

But please, don't be like this:

This is what women usually get as a response, the man claiming he was never interested to begin with (a blatant lie) and personal attacks on character or appearance. This is mild in comparison to these:

"You should apologize." "You're kind of rude" "I should not be getting disrespected like you" ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

Look at this gem:

Or this one:

These experiences turn women off of dating sites completely.

This is a plague, it happens so frequently there's a site dedicated to it called straightwhiteboystexting. Women submit to it daily with their interactions on dating sites. If you notice a decline in women on dating sites or the woman to man ratio is less than 50% for women this is the biggest reason why.

This behavior is ridiculous, borderline illegal, and childish. These types of men are rapidly killing whatever chivalry there is left in the world and sullying it for the genuine kind men out there.

[Anonymous]

So just another commentary on how some guys are assholes.
No argument here.

But one thing I’ve noticed is no one talks about why guys are behaving this way. The only time that is addressed is when women say something like “guys think they deserve a woman”.

Since women do it too (although to a lesser extent) and not all men do it, we know it’s not a gender issue. Which suggests it’s a symptom of something else. Likely a disfunction in socialization or reaction to a disfunctional dynamic in social relations.

To then understand this you must look at the social landscape of modern life. As we push towards more social isolation with our technology, as childhood experience becomes more and more tainted by social and familial disfunction, as social relationships become more fickle and even disposable we have a generation of men raised to see they are undervalued by society and people, our masculinity is now equated as negative and we are shown how we are generally considered low value by women.
Then add that women get many advantages over us. Dating is a choice for women generally. You choose one of several suiters. Suiters that make the moves, take the risks and in the end feel that it becomes reduced to being legitimized by some women who will grant them value.
Whereas men must make the moves, take the risks and only hopefully get a girl kind enough to select him. Your average guy has one woman or a bare few to choose from but average women have often many. This is magnified by online dating.
You suggest “If you notice a decline in women on dating sites or the woman to man ratio is less than 50% for women this is the biggest reason why”. I disagree.
Online dating is still new. At first there were many men and very few women. Then we saw an increase in women. But still nowhere near the numbers of men. Then factor in that many women are only there for attention or just simply ghost over and over. Now people are giving up because online dating, by its very nature is extreamily superficial.

Like all symptoms, it will continue until we address the problem. Men need to be valued. Dating needs to be more equal. We can’t believe the illusion that the internet gives us so many choices. They are the same people we interact with daily. More options means more idiots to wade through. And online it’s much harder to avoid idiots because it’s harder to see people’s true colours. You will date more idiots. Women need to stop acting like men are a dime a dozen and...

[Opinion Owner]

... treated with respect. The same respect that women also deserve.

I suspect you also don’t see the true way women act towards rejection from men because, as a woman they would obviously react differently to you.
Let me tell you I’ve had some serious doozies. I’d rather bludgeon myself in the face then after reject a woman who’s gonna take it badly. And just like guys reacting badly they do it all, insult you, pretended not to have liked you in the first place, tell you what a piece of crap you are, threatening you phisically, threaten to destroy your life your career. Even stalk you afterwards just to fuck with your life. And after being rejected in a respectful, considerate way.

An example of dating sights for men:
My best friend an I (a lesbian) both became single at the same time. We both got excited about the prospect of finding new relationships. After all dating supposed to be fun. So I helped her with her profile on her dating site and she help me with mine...

[Opinion Owner]

After four hours she had found her partner who she’s been with for the last five years. I’ve been on a bunch dates in the last five years but it’s been nothing but a giant pain in the ass. Sharing everything with her she absolutely cannot believe how women behave on these sites. “I’m so glad I’m not a guy who has to date women. I would rather be a hermit then deal with the fickle attitude they have towards men.”
She says she now laughs at her friends who complain about being single. She knows there are sooo many guys out there who are great but who are treated like trash and ignored.
After a while it becomes apparent that guys are frustrated and hurt and are tired of missing out on our chance in life because society changed everything and guys now see how valueless they are. Most humans in this situation become bitter and disfunctional.

[freakyzeaky]

"Women need to stop acting like men are a dime a dozen", this but also perhaps the other way around. Maybe men should start treating women like they are a dime a dozen and stop looking for their approval.

A man has nothing to prove. Once a man starts being himself with no expectations, he will attract the /right/ women for him. He will then start to get into a mindset of abundance rather than scarcity. He may not have an abundance of women, but he will feel it because in the end, there are thousands upon thousands of single women looking for a good partner.

No one owes us fuck all. But then again, we don't owe women anything either. We just need to be true to ourselves, the very best versions of ourselves, and right women will respect it.

[freakyzeaky]

The problem always lies in the fact that men are far less discerning. They don't set healthy boundaries. How does that make a woman feel special? So we have hundreds of men offering themselves up to women, and women get flooded with attention. Do we expect women to go out of their way to make sure ALL of these men feel respected? It is only natural that some men will get lost in the shuffle, even if she would have absolutely loved to date a particular guy she overlooked. It is only natural that a woman may not get a great first impression of a guy and move on when she has so many other options. It is also only natural for a woman to get tired of men who go out of their way to prove themselves to her, seek her approval, bend over backwards, not have a clear goal, or a purpose, or healthy boundaries, because so many other men do that, blend in, and fail to make her feel special or to be authentic enough to be special himself.

[raspberry0416]

I'm surprised you would even respond and be nice to these guys. If a guy starts getting rude in his messages I ignore and block right away. There's no point in engaging with these people.
The other day a guy said I was mean because I told him I had to get back to work and stop chatting with him. TF?

[coachTanthony]

The problem isn't the men acting that way... because lets face it... Men are pigs and will act that way A LOT. The problem is women spend an enormous amount of energy responding to these fools. I mean why are you even engaging? Why do women try to educate men on behavior as if it is their duty? This isn't a problem unless you make it one by spending an obscene amount of time talking to these men than complain and warn others that you will have these issues. No you won't. My number 1 rule for female clients is as follows: If you don't like what they say or what they look like BLOCK THEM immediately. Why? So they can't come back in 3 months and waste your time twice.

[freakyzeaky]

Wow, yeah, I never understood how a guy could ever expect to get positive attention from that kind of vile behavior. It blows my mind. I get it, being consistently rejected sucks, gets us down, can make some men bitter, resentful, and so forth. But some of those responses are so obscene, that it makes one wonder if these guys are just trolling and looking for kicks. I mean seriously? It is hard to fathom why any person, man or woman, would act in this way.

I am just going to continue sending out thoughtful messages tailored to each woman I find interesting and hope for the best. Even if the online dating world is becoming tainted by these cretins, the only thing we good guys can do is keep being us and don't give up just because there are pigs roaming around. If anything, these guys are just weeding themselves out.

Lastly, I want to stress that although we guys rarely experience this sort of behavior, it doesn't mean we don't empathize. That was painful to read. I can only imagine how that affects a woman who is trying to find meaningful connections on a website, only to be constantly shown that sort of maliciousness. Those sort of messages have to stick with you, even if they have never met you. I am so glad most women aren't like this. Being insulted for my looks, my hobbies, my profile, or whatever else just because I turned someone down would make me lose just a little bit of faith for humanity.

Thanks for sharing this. It gives us a better perspective of what many women go through (although many of us are already aware). I hope to be the best man I can be, not just for women who I date, but for my own sanity and inner peace. I sincerely hope those fools who treat women in that way also come around and start to improve themselves and practice some self-love.

[Darknut123]

I had no clue the magnitude of crap women deal with, and explains why i can't get certain people on here to respond. Makes me sick, here all these men laying all that creep groundwork, and people like you and I struggling, I almost thought there was something wrong with but reading this clears it up.
The tricky part is weeding through the drama to find Genuine people. Made our job more difficult 10 fold thanks

[Curmudgeon]

Are there nasty men? Of course, duh. However, the Author here is showing some dishonesty.

"If you notice a decline in women on dating sites or the woman to man ratio is less than 50% for women this is the biggest reason why."

Sorry, but no. When internet dating sites began in the 1990s, the ratio of men to women online was about 10 to 1, on sites like webpersonals. com, later lavalife. com, one of the first. In more recent years this has declined to 2 to 1.

However, this still leads to a phenomenon of men making overtures and getting *no response at all*. So men try "clever" overtures, many of which become rude, because *at least it elicits a response*.

By the way guys, when you get turned down politely, always reply to the lady thank you anyway because at least she responded and you know your profile is at least *read* by *somebody*.

"This is a plague, it happens so frequently there's a site dedicated to it called straightwhiteboystexting."

Which just goes to show the Leftist / Commiecrat dishonesty here. Anyone who thinks "men of color" don't do this even more frequently in online heterosexual situations is lying...

[HamAndCheese]

Very interesting.

[FýrdracaDócincel]

I agree with you on all points EXCEPT for your implication that ignoring the guy in question, or telling him you're not interested with passive-aggressive wording, should be acceptable.

Listen, you little princesses should really grow some fucking backbone. You can whine all you want about how scared you are of the guy (despite the fact that he's, you know, separated from you via internet), but that's just weakness. If you were all truly concerned about being equal to men, you wouldn't be running away from this shit with your tails between your legs.

You're not as easy to read as you think you are. "But if we don't reply, it obviously means we're not intere-"

Don't even start with that crap. There have been plenty of times when I assumed the same and it turned out she had just been hella busy. In fact, sizing up the times when the girl was busy and the times when she was "trying" to send a message, it's about 50/50.

If you don't do that, good on you. But I really am done with spineless pinks trying to justify cowardice.

[blackberrysoup]

So I'm just curious to know. Because I've been in this situation before. I've turned them down politely and usually that works just fine. But there are the rare group that despite being polite, despite being firm will not understand you do not want them. What do you do then?

[FýrdracaDócincel]

@blackberrysoup
That is a completely different situation. Here, you were direct and firm but they kept on coming.

I can't blame any guy for being persistent to an extent, nor do I respect any female whining about it. But again, that's only to an EXTENT. A smart guy will know to move on to the next girl if the one he's talking to sends a solid message that she isn't interested.

So you may need to take some more extreme measures to get them off you. Cause these are not the guys I'm talking about.

[blackberrysoup]

Ok thanks for explaining. I understand.

[FýrdracaDócincel]

@blackberrysoup
Of course.

[MrOracle]

Ugh.

I wish I could say I was surprised, but I'm not. Ashamed of my gender? No question in these cases.

I don't blame you for being pissed off or upset. These guys are assholes. They think a dating app means "free pussy for the taking" and get upset at any woman who doesn't play along.

I try to educate guys when I can, but many of this type of guy are unreachable, and will continue to do whatever the hell they want.

I guess it just leaves more good girls for the rest of us who are actual human beings.

[Rissyanne]

Question... why do men aromatically think you want a picture of their dick?

[MrOracle]

@Rissyanne Because men are visual - they automatically want to see a picture of your tits/ass/pussy, so in their little pea brains (the part that still functions when deprived of the blood supply), they figure you just be just as helplessly aroused by pictures of his dick. Of course, they completely lack an understand of how the female brain works (and how DIFFERENTLY it works from the male brain), and that's the result. LOL.

[Jayson101]

@Rissyanne A lot of women ask for them and then go "Why did you send me that ohmigooood!" (not that I have ever sent one)

[Rissyanne]

@Jayson101 Since I have been dating... since my divorce. I have never ask to see a man's dick.

[Rissyanne]

I have had men ask me for pic so they can jerk off to them. Do you think men think that women masturbate to their dick pictures?

[MrOracle]

@Rissyanne "Do you think men think that women masturbate to their dick pictures?"

A few actually do, but I think those guys think/hope it's just going to make her attracted to him/horny for him. I also think that some guys use it as a "litmus test" to sort out the women they can get sexual with right away and the ones who are "too much hassle" because they want to be talked to like a person first.

Keep in mind that the kinds of guys who do this (which is a small subset of guys) are the ones who just want their sexual needs met, and don't really care about anything else. They're not on those sites to date, or even really have a woman to talk to. They're there for nudes/sexting, and if possible, to get laid in real life, and nothing more.

[DaTruth01]

1- dating sites are for desperate people, most people on these sites aren't quality to begin with.
2- tinder and apps like that are for sex, period.
3- if you really want quaity non-crazy people you need to meet them face to face in real life, online dating is... well you experienced it first hand.
4- it happens to men too, maybe not as extreme but happens, girls never called me names or anything after i showed no interest in dating them... they however did continue trying to date me and kept messaging a lot even though i clearly was not interested.

[skytatoe]

Lol those are real?
Either they are drunk as fuck or they are trolling you... no way lol. Crazy bastards!

Anyways, you should be aware that dating sites aren't really good for anything but hookups, and go look for something more to your taste in the real world where you don't have to deal with the crazyness these guys lay on ^^

[Cosytoasty]

I have one question.

Why do women go on dating sites to expect Unicorn guys who are
Polite, Good Natured, Mature, Smart, Successful, Charming, Witty and Handsome to be hanging out there just waiting to message them?

P. S Second question, knowing the above why do you complain about it?

[Jayson101]

The sites she put up a lot of them aren't dating sites, a lot of them are HOOKUP sites and she's all disgusted that the men on a sex site want sex

[myTake Owner]

@Jayson101 None of these were hookup sites. Try again.

[Kithor]

I read somewhere that around 15% of the population has some type of personality disorder, and at least 2% are psychopaths. Numerically, that's a lot of guys, and I'm guessing they're disproportionately represented on dating sites, especially relatively anonymous ones like Tinder and POF.

[raspberry0416]

Wouldn't surprise me, based on what I've experienced

[Browneye57]

Consider not trying to date through an online service. My guess is you'll find a lot higher success rate. Dating sites are for losers - people that can't meet and develop relationships with the people they come into contact with in their daily life.

The vast majority of people on dating sites are there for entertainment, not for finding a mate. Your odds are less than awful.

[OatsnWhey]

You sound far too fragile. I get it's an issue, but this is something that people deal with in general on the internet. Women can act like entitled bitches on dating apps as well. Develop thicker skin. There's a lot of shit quality people out there from both sides of the spectrum.

[ryancg]

That kind of behavior is disgusting, but if you get on a hookup site/app like Tinder expecting chivalry and what not, then you are mistaken. Likely what you're seeing is those men venting their frustration that once again they're wasting their time barking up the wrong tree because a lot of women tend to use those hookup services expecting romance.

[raspberry0416]

Maybe not romance but at least learn how talk to people properly.

[ryancg]

@raspberry0416 You're not likely to find that anywhere on the internet. I don't actually use any of those things like Tinder, but from what I've seen, it looks to be pretty toxic all around and that's one reason why I've steered clear of Tinder and its ilk.

[PastelWheeze]

There is NO excuse to treat someone that way.

[ryancg]

@PastelWheeze Oh trust me, I agree. I was just trying to come up with some explanation as to why the assholes might treat someone in such a way. Obviously, there's no excuse for it, but I'm assuming that in their own mind, they must come up with some reasoning. In the end, it's the internet and people are going to talk to others however they please. And while there is no solving that problem, you can often time avoid it by staying away from communities that you know to be toxic.

[gobsmacked3]

Truth;

' The reality of the Social Age is its irony... It gives rise and facilitates Anti-Social behaviours...'

I am glad I grew up in a different age that was real. Where you understand right from wrong and the line in the sand never to approach. Let alone overstep. if you did, repercussions followed.

Unlike this Age, where people do all types of abhorrent shit like this b/c they know they will never be held accountable

[Jayson101]

Okay obviously the behavior is bad, but these are hookup sites. I feel like women do a lot of barking up the wrong tree. I was on a fetish site and the woman was stonewalling me cause I said I wanted sex. She was femdom and she was like "I deserve a slave who will serve me and have money and be devoted to me" Seriously? The slave part that men are into is generally just for sex and hookups. You can;t take umbridge to men who want to have sex on a fetish site and be all indignant

[MuceyBabi]

the honest truth is u can't change people lol

u just gotta be aware of the reality

if you go to a club at night you can expect the worst out of guys

if you go on dating websites you can expect the worst out of guys

if you meet a guy in church, your family knows his family, etc. etc., you can probably expect the best out of him

you just gotta do what you gotta do

[LegateLanius]

I don't think anyone behaves on a dating site. Your responses to them are rather nice compared to what i had in return and i was like the guy at the top. I decided that online dating sucks in general as guys are largely ignored and women are bombarded with garbage like that.

[WTFliberals]

I would say both genders are idiots regarding these incidents :

Women : A lot of them ghosting ( such an insecurity ) rather than telling them in the face she is not interested.

Men : A lot of Beta males acts like a complete idiot and disrespectful !

[didigo182]

These guys behaving like crap but the girls in this type of website are the same level.

Arrogant, selfish, narcissistic (even if they are single moms and weighing 250lbs), many of them do not even employ. but come and play with the unique princesses of the universe.

I've never been to these relationship sites but on language sites it's the same piece of shit: arrogant/narcisistic behaviour. Ans plus all passive-aggressive behavior/sarcasm.

[BrittBratt2416]

Makes no sense, if she's fat and ugly, then why did you message the girl anyways? Lol could it be cause they're lying and just butt hurt about being rejected cause a lot these guys feel entitled to women? Definitely.

[Anonymous]

"These types of men are rapidly killing whatever chivalry there is left in the world and sullying it for the genuine kind men out there."

I agree those kinds of men are pigs who give men a bad reputation, but they have NOTHING to do with killing chivalry. Women themselves deserve all the credit for that one.

My advice to you is to avoid those dating sites as they are a magnet for the kinds of douche bags you're. There are really no surprises here.