Men are PATHETIC on dating apps and in Real Life

[Apope16]

I was speaking to my best friend and a girl that I have started dating. I have been told horror stories about women seeking to find love out there on apps and in the real world.

What the hell is wrong with you men out there? You guys are single and ready to mingle but either have no clue what you are doing or are downright boring.

Of course there are exceptions to every rule. Case in point me. I typically have no trouble attracting a dozen dates a year which turn into Friends With Benefits or relationships. I'd say on average I have 2 sexual partners per year and this year I'm batting at a higher average of 5.

And I know what you guys are saying...'We dont care about how many women you have been with. You sound insecure bro.'

Yeah whatever, the point I am making is that there is no reason for a regular guy not to attract basic to higher than average women. But I have been shocked at the stupidity I have heard about:

Men Who:

Can't hold a conversation beyond small talk, only talking about sex, only trying to sext a girl, conversations surround sports and hunting and nothing deeper than that, guys who simply never have the courage to ask a girl out within 48 hours of conversation, men seeking women who are married, a bunch of guys with hats and holding a dead fish.

Come on gents! You guys are pathetic.

Keep the sex talk to a bare minimum. A couple of flirty things. Talk about deep stuff. If she is into you ask her out for a drink. Cut it out with this meeting for coffee in the middle of the day stuff. That is friendzone requesting. big time. Ask these girls out at night time with a nice bar because it implies the possibility of physical intimacy. Jesus, guys...do NOT asking these girls "So are you into sports?" haha. Talk at her level. Ask her about her style, ask her about her interests. Truly engage and learn about what she is interested in. Guys its not that hard. Smile, nod, be charming, be engaged, be fun.

[ChrisG30]

Well when I'm on online dating, they dont even give me a chance. On bumble, tinder I am never swiped right to. So how can I be boring when I'm not even given a chance? On top of that, the girls that do show interest are obese fat overweight shallow hal type women who dont want to improve themselves and expect guys to come down to their level.

It's the women who are fussy in online dating. I've got a top job, I earn well in the top 10% in my country but women ignore me. I approach girls in real life, at social events and try to have a conversation and women sit there on a high chair judging me while they made no effort themselves.

Women only notice guys who are perceived to have options with other women. If you look like the nerdy type but you actually are in fact outgoing, wealthy, they will still reject you because society says that you are crap.

[Apope16]

This app focuses on men... but... there's more BS goong on with ladies on apps. I've written about it in mytakes

[PushOrganic]

Lesson: Social Proof: Be percieved and actually be the guy that has abundance of women into you

[ChrisG30]

Push organic, yeah I know. Its lame that women choose men by reputation and popularity instead of merit.

[Louistruman19]

No. Its actually about your physical appearance/looks rather than social proof. If you're good looking, women will just assume other women want you without any social proof. there's this guy on youtube named FaceandLms who proved this years ago. You should check him out. Its pretty depressing.

[Omega909]

I hate dating apps

[TinCanJim]

I've tried using dating apps and a couple online sites and the results have always been the same. They always fall in love with me after a few texts and want to be with me but they need me to send them money for gas, bus ticket or airfare. When I offer to book their ticket they get mad and claim I don't trust them. This isn't an isolated incident. Each and every single woman I have met online always seems to have financial difficulties and I'm the only one who can save them. Maybe if women were more honest and not so deceptive they would attract a better class of men.

[Apope16]

🤣 i think if you shortened up your story as a joke a girl on a dating app would love it. Shed be into your humor.

[ChrisG30]

You look like jigsaw from saw movie.

[TessCasie]

😂😂😂

[TessCasie]

Firstly, how old are these men? Are they educated and employed? Most of the guys online dating are just looking to smash and dash that's the truth. Unless you go for a site in guidance with a dating expert who matches you up to someone cause then you know its serious and genuine. Why waste your time on dating app? grrr ! And most men are fickle minded cause they don't know what they want.

And girls: Once you sense a guy has no meaning in life and has no goals and aspirations, why don't you BOUNCE? We really need to weed out to get the best. Sticking and hoping things will change cause I'm a nice girl won't help, you'll end up getting screwed over and over again. smh

[ChrisG30]

Where are you from may I ask?

[TessCasie]

@ChrisG30 Canada and you?

[ChrisG30]

@tesscasie Australia.

[amartna]

If you end up actually being a pleasant girl I probably wouldn't dash. Guess that's just me though

[Anonymous]

Why are you talking in girl language? Guys don’t talk like this.

[Apope16]

Aww! Thanks you! Thats a great compliment. As a writer it ferls good to write shit and have a woman think im female.😊😂🤓🧐❤🤷🏾‍♂️✒

[Floppy2112]

So, you casually sleep around, I reckon because you're bored? You meet guys who don't meet your expectations and guys are pathetic, but you sleep with them anyway? You date a dozen or so guys per year? Yet, somehow the good ones get away?
You're getting what you give. You are selfish and you're playing around and (presumably) having fun and you wonder why *men* are pathetic?
You act pathetically, but you require Mr. Perfect? Clear as day the problem is you. What do you bring to the table? It looks to me that all you bring to the table is perhaps good looks and sex. That's the kind of man you are going to get.
You really don't have to look in the mirror, this is your mirror. Look at the decisions you made and where you are as a result. You cannot find a 'good man' because all you want is casual relationships. There may have been some good guys that you slept with, but pass them buy because they don't meet some ridiculous criteria you invented out of the thin blue air. An ideal gotten, perhaps by getting your relationship advice from books and movies. I realize there are situations that happen to people that are simply beyond their control and even if you do everything right, bad things happen to you. This is not one of those cases.
You get shallow men because that's what you want. You chase the kind of men who just want to have some fun and get on with life because that is how you behave.
If you are interested in a 'good man' then act like you deserve one. Half the world are men and we are not all pathetic. In your case, as you stated, you're pathetic and shallow and sex crazed. The men you pick are the same way because that is who you are gravitating towards.
Ditch the casual relationships and decide what you really value if you want a long term relationship. If you are not ready to settle down or you are not done playing, fine do what you are doing, but don't bitch about the guys you get.
Perhaps, you and 'your friend' need to look deep inside and figure out what you really want and what you bring to the table and then act accordingly.

[Apope16]

Hey bro. Just to let you know. I am a GUY. haha. I am a MAN. I am not a chic in disguise.

Anyway, I like your post. All good stuff.

[PushOrganic]

The fact of the matter, tinder and dating apps are a tsunami of 5's and 6's. There always seems to be something fucked up with these tinder girls. They're either broke, major daddy issues, self esteem issues, or some other fucking mental issue that seems to cause them not to want to meet you in real life

More to the point, of the hundreds of matches I've been through over the years, only a few that I've hooked up with are what I objectively consider to be in 9/10 territory. The rest that I match with on average look like orcs in my opinion.

High quality girls just aren't on apps like that. I feel like they're plates are full being involved in high status social circles, going to high status venue's. Really for that matter, high quality men should be involved in those things too and be working to get/improve/stay in those high status events.

Meeting girls through real life activities remains, and will always be the most superior way to meet women.

It's as much the girls fault on these apps are it is the guys.

At this point I just use apps to exchange nudes with girls I have no intention of meeting, granted I also have a bit of an exhibitionism kink

[Anonymous]

Funny thing is, I spent years trying literally everything, doing all of those things, only to be treated like sub-human garbage just because I was willing to listen to a word they had to say, and in their words, qualified as a "nice guy" by shrugging it off when I got rejected, and accepting their boundaries instead of violating them the way they wanted me to.

Then, just one time, I decided to completely skim over who I was, and just skip to what I was- the last remaining male member of my grandfather's family, sole claimant to an ancient Indian royal patrilineage, with several uncles and two 3rd cousins who also happen to have net worths of over $100M US each.

Guess how long it took me attract more female attention than I had in the previous decade? Less than 2 minutes. Face it- not just when it comes to online dating, but in real life as well, women are just gold-digging whores. It's not hard. And literally NOTHING matters to them, besides how much monetary value they think they can extract from you.

[Wwwyzzerdd]

Dating apps suck and attract low quality men while driving quality men away.

Men don't have the same experiences as women. We are treated differently on dating apps, expected to chase and women in general putting in very little effort while reaping exponential reward. Men are afforded very little choice while women have the experience of having the app tailored to their usage. Often men don't even have real interactions with real people, it's an inbox filled with spam/bots/Onlyfans grifters/scams.

WOMEN are pathetic online, they simp for the top 20% percentile while ignoring/ghosting potential matches. Then they complain when the 20% guy cheats on them bc the guy realizes no matter what he does he can move on to another girl and get laid since all the women on the platform are prioritizing those guys. Then those women come back to use 80% men that they passed up, labeling us Beta males, complaining how it's so difficult to find a good man. There's no accountability for the behaviors and choices being made.

Apparently the only thing men are good for is shutting up, being an emotionless dick with a wallet.

[RingOfFire]

Having the perspective of living through dating in the pre-internet era I think I can put my finger on the main issue that makes internet dating difficult and often unsatisfying. And I think it's this. Meeting people online gives you too many options. You can literally talk to hundreds of people in no time. Girls especially are bombarded with messages from guys. And guys contact lots of girls. There are too many options. It's addictive. Do you stay with the one you were talking to or go with the new one who showed up who looks really hot?

This causes an addiction that prevents people from really getting to know each other like you used to be able to do pre-internet. Back then, every contact was special because it was hard to meet someone. You put a lot of effort in before you even came across someone you were interested in talking to and getting to know. You didn't get distracted by all the options. You had a chance to really focus on a small number of prospects and eventually just one. It was about quality of the relationship, not quantity of superficial chats. That's all changed now. Romance is dead. It has become a mercenary exercise. Sad.

[Anonymous]

Girls that I message can only respond with one or two word answers and are unable to hold a conversation back and forth then just ghost you when you do ask the out on a date.

Online Dating is just horrible for many reasons, unfortunately with COVID its not like many other options are currently (or will be) available for the next year.

[Apope16]

All good points! If i did this mytake on women id be sexist🤣

[errorgoodnameunfound]

Are you just basically trolling these days? It's hard to say...

[PushOrganic]

I'm actually having a somewhat similar experience with my matches

[Lionman95]

yes we are, but I think it´s a partly mutual thing. We live in a generation who is more eager about the shallow parts of life and short relationships. I´m a guy whose not good at dating, I´m not good at starting a conversation in general.
The problem nowadays is porn in my view. Many of us learn about girls from porn because there are guys who haven´t spend much times with women why so ever. Yes it´s true we are not the best version of what guys could be.
I like that you point it out without pointing fingers.

[nerdybutlazy]

I would agree and disagree, I do like your writing style and it's smart you asked women what they're opinions on this topic. I wouldn't say guys are pathetic but some of them are believe me but most of them i find are just clueless, they have a weird male view of what they think women want from stuff they're guy friends and male influences in their lives have told them and when that stuff doesn't work they get confused. I do agree the fish picture is always a red flag for me becuase why even post that unless you're a fisherman by trade but great mytake I enjoyed the read

[MysteriousDarkness]

@nerdybutlazy
"The fish picture is always a red flag for me becuase why even post that unless you're a fisherman by trade". That would be like saying why even post yourself cooking unless you are a chef for a living. It's ridiculous to say something like that. The reason they post it is vecause it's something they like to do. With your way of thinking if a person is not a pro at something or do something for a living they should not post themself doing it. For example do not post yourself fixing plumbing unless you are a plumber by trade or do not post yourself playing baseball unless you are a professional baseball player. It's a ridiculess way of thinking.

[nerdybutlazy]

@MysteriousDarkness It's just a thought but the fact is on a dating app unless your only looking for a girl that can fish it's not gonna get you anywhere, thinks like pics of a guy cooking, or maybe playing an actual sport or doing a more ret\ble hobby would be better, not saying oh only fishermen can do it but realistically it's not impressive, I can't get much of a personality type from fishing

[JakeS00]

Very generalized statement. I will agree that there are some. You won't get that from many men because of their upbringing, education, social skills, moral skills, etc. They go with the worldly conception of interacting with women because of their influence and their maturity level. This means they haven't reached a level where it shows they're adult enough to have solid conversations with women. They have succumbed to immaturity and sticking with that crowd. So you'll get what you get with those men until they grow up.

[Andres77]

Your statement is incorrect.
Boys are, absolutely, but men are not.
Having a dick does not make one a man.
These guys usually have no Dad with whom they've been raised or their relationship is horrible; they never learned how to be a man. Do they're still boys who might actually have a job but still don't know how to be considerate of others, sacrifice and work for anyone else's benefit but their own.
They're just bigger boys.
Once they're men they'll prove it but... don't hold your breath...

[Anonymous]

Ur talking how a fuckboi pickup artist talks, trying to manipulate the woman. That’s a great way to waste everyone’s time. The truth is that there is a divide between men and women and most women would be happier with a metrosexual fuckboy who’s basically like their gay best friend except with sex. The world is ill

[Apope16]

There is truth in what you say bro. Im basically a metrosexual fuck boy. Thats why i get intense attraction. However... you can portray yoursrlf as the alpha male, cave man, ambitious, go getter, Mr. Tools Fix it type of guy. A girl like a broad shouldered, chubby, practical man who can do construction around the house a fuck her in between remodeling the house. The best example is to be like Aquaman

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah im goin for the latter haha I can’t swing the whole metro thing

[errorgoodnameunfound]

ya know... that actually makes more sense now. I have noticed to some degree that men seem a bit stereotypically "gayer." Like ones that are super straight will be aware of fashion trends, put on makeup, etc. waaaaaay more than before. Ya kinda get what I mean? Hope I'm understanding this right.

[ChrisG30]

Except for those pick up artists have it right in the female attraction. Women like "mate copying" (go look it up on wikipedia, its scientifically proven female humans like mate copying), pick up artists just teach you to look like you are in demand by other women essentially which makes you appear more attractive.

[loveslongnails]

Most of the women I know in their early to mid twenties would agree. On the other hand, too many of those same women are false eyelash, fake nail, heavy make-up wearing, self centered bimbettes who also can't hold a conversation for 10 minutes, nor exist without their cell phones. Glad I'm not dating !!

[Skankhunt]

You are the one who is pathectic. Who are you telling other guys how it should be done? You don't know what someone's situation is. You think fucking girls is the most important thing in the world, it isn't. If you think that, you are really pathectic. Also, men who only want to fuck girls and get attention from tehm are very insecure. You are basing you worth as a man by how many girls you've fucked, that's a shame.

Also, all you do is fucking around, that's not something you should be proud of. It just means you don't care, all you care about is having sex with tons of girls. Just because you have a high body count, doesn't mean you are more of a man. There are more improtant things in life than girls and fucking them and having relationships.

Everyone has its own approach when it come to girls. No one is the same.

[bamesjond0069]

This is not good advice for getting laid. You think coffee is friend zone but not talking about sex isn't? Smh. you're only sleeping with 2 girls a year! Even 5 isn't much. I slept with 5 girls in the month of November! But according to you im doing everything wrong. No offense bro but im not going to listen to you on this one.

The coffee "date" is brilliant because if she's a very good girl she will want to be friends first and a date is too much. If she's a slut it manages expectations because I don't know about you but i dont want to date a slut. Actual dates after just meeting girls is basically dead because its all negatives with few benefits.

[AdithyaR]

Well I'm not counted in this cause I'm single and never gonna be ready to mingle.😁😂

But good points, it's really not that hard to be an interesting person.

[Apope16]

Thanks man! You do you. That attracts women too

[AdithyaR]

I'm not looking to attract anyone but thank you 😁

[Bananaman177]

Hats are bad now?

Sorry, but these women clearly deserve to be single if that's their idea of having high standards. Goddamn. They do know that hats are removable, right?

[Gabboo]

that part confused me, and this picture makes me want to go listen to that song, LOL

[hellionthesagereborn]

I'd agree to that. I mean him talking purely sexually to her is like a woman talking purely about the guys money, in both cases its off putting. You still need to drop sexual hints but that is only to remind them that your a sexual option and not just a friend. Beyond that men should stick to deep and meaningful (the only women who respond purely to sexual talk are women who have a lot of baggage and are desperate).

[DWornock]

Women don't want below-average men and since only 20% of men are average or above*, there are not many men that are not pathetic. Therefore, since so few exist, it doesn't do any good to complain about the lack of acceptable men.

* OK Cupid's data showing 80% of men are "below average"

[ChrisG30]

And yet most females arn't all that great either on online dating.

[DWornock]

@ChrisG30 True, but men soon learn not so picky since they cannot date up. Men will date down for sex, but they don't marry down. Most women chase after the hottest guys that will fuck them and reject guys in their league. Therefore, since women will seldom settle for equals, men's choices are very limited. That may explain why marriage rates are the lowest in all recorded history.

[LastQueenOfScotland]

Kinda yeah kinda no, worded it like a knob but made some actual points

[Apope16]

Aww! Thank you! Thats a great compliment ❤😊🤟🏿✌🏾

[BjornIronPeenus]

Total nonsense there's so many young women out there that are boring and have nothing to say. Most of them don't even know what they're looking for in a man until they reach their 30s. The attitude towards men needs to change and stop expecting a man that has it all instantaneously.