In 2003, Hurricane Isabel slammed into the East Coast of the United States, leaving 16 dead and cutting power to six million homes. The edges of the hurricane passed through Washington, D.C., prompting the president and members of Congress to find safer quarters.
That was not the case at Arlington National Cemetery, where guards stood vigil at the Tomb of the Unknowns at the time, just as they had done every hour of every day since July 1, 1937. When the hurricane hit, the soldiers remained at their posts even though they were given permission to seek shelter.
That’s what a soldier does. He acknowledges the storm, but he doesn’t give in to it. He stands firm. As a friend told me, “If these men can stand guard over the dead, how much more important is it that I stand guard over the living – my wife and children?”
Like these soldiers, we are called to stand and do our duty while staring down the very storms that seek to rob us of courage, taunting and tempting us to neglect our duty and abandon our posts.
So, the question remains, what does a real man look like?
For me the I knew the Bible would be the place to go to learn what a real man should be and do. I began looking through the Scriptures, focusing on passages that talk about men and manhood, and along the way, I discovered five prevailing themes.
A man controls his emotions and passions. Single or married, a real man tames his passions. He doesn’t abuse women or children; he protects them. He keeps his hands off a woman who is not his wife and treats his wife with love, respect and dignity. He keeps his eyes off pornographic images. He protects a single woman’s virginity and innocence. He’s not defined by his exploits below the waist. He’s a man with a heart, head and conscience.
A man provides for his family. When a man doesn’t work and provide for his family, he feels a sense of shame. His self-worth sinks. A man who doesn’t work, who can’t keep a job, who moves from job to job, or who refuses to assume his responsibility creates insecurity in his wife and children. Every man needs to provide for his family, which also means taking responsibility to provide for emotional and spiritual needs. A father should train his children and prepare them to become responsible adults who know how to negotiate the swift and sometimes evil currents of culture.
A man protects his family. When you are lying in bed with your wife, and you hear the sound of a window being opened in your kitchen at 3 a.m., do you shake her awake and say, “The last time this occurred, I was the one who took our baseball bat and investigated to see if someone was breaking into our house. Now it’s your turn, Sweetheart. Here’s the bat!”? No! But being a protector calls for more than ensuring physical safety. A father protects his son by passing on wisdom, helping him build godly character, and teaching him to reject the lies and temptations of the world. This father protects not only his son but the generations to follow as the wisdom he shares gets passed on.
A man serves and leads his family. Serve and lead may seem like a contradiction, but they are inseparable. The husband is the head of the wife, but this leadership does not allow for selfish male dominance. Husbands should love their wives and gave himself up for her. This paints a picture of leadership contrary to how the world views it. A man is called to be a servant-leader – to take responsibility for his wife and children and to put their needs ahead of his own. He is called to demonstrate selfless, sacrificial love – the type of love we see in God toward his children.
A man follows God’s design for true masculinity. A man is to do justice, to love kindness, and to walk humbly. The core of a man’s life should be his relationship with God. The man who walks humbly with God is motivated and empowered to step up and assume the difficult responsibilities that come his way.
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