So this is growing up... sort of


A few months ago I was hanging out with some friends, we were discussing the well-being and life choices of a mutual person we all know, we all care about this person and we were trying to think of ways to help him mature/grow up. We were talking about how he was hanging around with high school kids & delinquents and how they were just using him to boot alcohol or buy cigarettes, and when confronted about it his reasoning/excuse was "I missed out" and "I never got to party when I was a teen" (something I can relate to). One of the guys during the discussion said "it's pathetic that he's hanging out with these kids, he should be hanging out with people more his age, what does he have in common with them?" AND that's when everyone stopped and looked at me and the guy who said that apologized because everyone in that room was either 23 or 22 and the person they were talking about was still 21... and I'm 30

when the realization happens, Im 30
when the realization happens, "I'm 30"

I don't really know how to summarize being alive for 3 decades, to be honest I'm quite perplexed by it, it feels like time/life just keeps marching forward no matter how much I'm stumbling or how far behind I am, it's unrelenting.

The placebo effect I had in my 20's has completely worn away, I got really good at pretending I have more time than what I actually have to accomplish goals/dreams (even if those goals/dreams are heavily reliant on youth & prosperity/popularity). The comfort and newfound ease I found in my mid/late 20's has evaporated *note there's more to it than just age that created this feeling of being lost* but a lot of what I was trying to do just seems pointless now.

I feel a calm sense of panic reminiscent to when I was in my late teens and early 20's, it's a kind of uneasy tension, a daily reminder that whatever I hoped to do or accomplish - I better do it now, like right now. It reminds me of when a bartender announce last call at a bar or a club but with more of an incentive and way higher stakes (basically the quality of the remainder of my life).

becoming uncool & needing to adapt
becoming uncool & needing to adapt

A lot of people I come across mistaken me for younger than what I am, but I'm starting to feel it's not because of the way I look but rather how immature I behave.

For the majority of my 20's I'd tell myself that "I'm a late bloomer" but now with my struggle to lose weight because of a slower metabolism and my temples on my forehead slightly receding/maturing, I definitely can't use that excuse anymore.

I feel like I spent a lot of the last few years trying to prepare and understand what growing up is, but now trying to learn what it means for me... and don't quite have the answer yet.

When I started writing this last night I was in a bit of a doom & gloom mood, and after having the day off work to focus on some important things like cleaning my entire living spaces (bedroom, jam room, bathroom... etc) and going to my monthly medical appointment (I'm a singer who hurt his voice and I've been doing rehab treatment to get my voice back in shape, maybe I'll write a mytake about it lol) I'm feeling a lot better.

*Also I realized I should probably have a conclusion for this to make it worthwhile, hopefully haha*

So what is growing up?

I have no idea but I don't want to pretend age is a magical number with no meaning because it isn't, it has great significance and our time isn't finite - same with what is available to do depending on age.

So with that being said whatever you want to do, do it now!

Because who knows when the opportunity will fade away. I don't know if I'm going to manage to accomplish my goals but god damn at least I'm gonna try.

Thanks have a nice day ✌️

**What is growing up mean to you?

checkout my last mytake - Why am I writing this...

#whatevermaybewillbe #sothisisgrowingup #turning30 #youth #girlsaskguys

So this is growing up... sort of
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Lliam
    Great MyTake, WhateverMayBeWillBe.
    Once I was old enough to drive, I never wanted to grow up. I continued the lifestyle of my late teens all the way through my 20s. I was a surfer/rocker/party animal. (I'm a musician like you.)
    When I got a really good job I was forced to cut my hair and learn how to act around grown ups. That wasn't a bad thing, but I still retained my youthful attitudes. I still do. I didn't suddenly transform into a suit one day.

    I still play electric guitar and sing in a rock band. I have matured and grown wiser. But, inside, I'm still every age I have ever been. I didn't abandon anything. I just expanded my repertoire, so to speak.

    The only problem is, I don't 'look' every age that I ever was. I'm not brimming with the same amount of unbounded, devil-may-care energy of my youth. I wouldn't be able to hit on 20 year old girls. And, even though I can relate to people of different generations, I have to admit that there is, in some respects, a generational cultural divide. But I'm still pretty hip, especially when I am playing music.

    Anyway, don't worry about getting older. Some of your best times are yet to come. Believe me.
    Is this still revelant?
    • Thanks man, I don't think I fear growing older like I used to, I'm more terrified of not doing anything with my life but I already have the remedy - do & try more thing more often (today was a perfect example of that by going on a mini road trip with a friend I only met a few months ago).

      I'd say my main 4 concerns at the moment is health, wealth, art & relationships...

      Health seems the easiest out of the 4 because all I need to do is restructure my diet and exercise routine.
      The next one would be art, and more specifically - music, and for that all I really need to do is put in the time practicing and creating, etc.
      But relationships & wealth perplex me. I know I can get random jobs and decently paying jobs but nothing that enables me to live the livestyle I want (unless I manage to become rockstar but that is becoming/seeming more & more improbable for a slew of reasons).
      And relationships... that's a sore subject for a myriad of reasons, I put a lot of effort into that from 2015 to late 2018 but I failed miserably to point that I completely gave up for all of 2019 so I honestly don't know what to do about that besides just focusing on things that seem more obtainable.

      Either way I'm done with standing still.

    • Lliam

      Right on, bro. Keep moving forward.

  • ChadGroyper
    Lol ur friends are ten years younger than you. What a creep 🤣
    Is this still revelant?

Most Helpful Girls

  • wynn-ing
    Despite still having an age ending with "teen", I can resonate with this take a lot.
    I felt like this last year when I turned 18 and it was crazy... I'm an adult now and I have to adult and do adulty things and I'll be adulting for the majority of my years starting now... the sensation of freedom, choices, opportunities, responsibilities and everything else you 'unlock' at the legal adult age was overwhelming for me to say the least.
    But I did not feel any older or wiser like I should have. I didn't feel like I grew up mentally but just in real time.

    I guess I'm still learning the first ropes of lovely adulthood and this will be commonplace than it ever was before but it really challenged and changed what growing up really means to me forever.
    Is this still revelant?
    • Honestly, at age 30 - I still don't feel like an adult.

      I do miss being in my early/mid 20s because not only did I not feel like an adult back then, I didn't look like one either. Now when I look in the mirror or see myself in pic/video I think to myself "who the hell is that guy".

      I think the main 2 reasons why I have a lot of friends/acquaintances that are around your age (late teens to early/mid 20s) is because like I stated in the mytake above "I haven't levelled up yet" and I'm still going through some of the same early adulthood BS and because I'm older and have seen a few things I have the experiences to give advices or help ease the situation by reminding you and them - not to worry to much, and to utilize your time but also have fun.

      So yeah don't worry about being an "adult" but don't blow off responsibility & opportunity to the point where you're like "oh shit, how can I do this now that I'm age XX" kind of like how I feel from time to time.

    • wynn-ing

      Noted! Thanks : )
      I completely get that and I hope to not reach that point anytime in my life. I probably will regardless of what I do, but overthinking is one of my special talents...

    What does growing up mean to me?
    It means being a responsible person, doing the right things for the well being of myself and my family. Taking a mature look at my overall life and just trying my best to make decisions that will benefit me and those around me in the long run.
    Is this still revelant?

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