Don't really agree with that. The description of arrogance sound more like insecurity, and the description of 'confidence' just sounds like a person who's receptive and eager to learn... It doesn't really describe what confidence is.
Your definition DOES matter. It needs to be seen for the differences it has with what I wrote. Believe it or not, I'm a woman who cares about what the men have to say. So what's your definition of it? Also, why wouldn't you want women to know YOUR definition? Unless you're just trying to cause trouble, but I'm not going to automatically assume that you are... So let's see your definition? You probably have a better one than I do.
Nobody gets to define what a real man is. A real man is free to do as he pleases as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else. Where men go wrong is obeying what people say we're supposed to do, even while realizing it's not in our best interest.
Interesting... because that's pretty much the whole gist of everything I said. That FREEDOM from doing what others tell you that you have to do or be. Live your life how you want to live it, to the extent that you want to live it. The traits I listed only emphasize that.
Sure. But at the same time, you also gave requirements that conform to what you want. A real man shows his emotions? Who says? Because they have peace within themselves? Horseshit. Whether a man does or doesn't show you his emotions has more to do with you than him. And I'm guessing you only want to see certain ones, am I right? Do you want him to show you his rage, or do you want him to keep that one under a tight lid? How about jealousy? Or maybe fear... oh, wait, that would make him NOT a real man.
No, y'all want a man who cries when watching a tragic movie so you feel like you have your girlfriend sitting with you. Meanwhile, he's thinking "why the fuck didn't those dumbshits just use the fucking stairs?" or something.
Bottom line, you want a man to act the way you want him to act, when you want him to act that way.
No, I think she realizes that you only paid attention to one part, misinterpreted it (because that’s NOT what it’s saying, even other guys got it if you read the comments), and just want to cause problems, which I don’t care to deal with. You don’t have to agree. It’s your life to live, not ours. But we do happen to be the picky ones, so don’t be surprised when we choose better men. Anyways, adios
Forgive me for not dissecting the entire thing and doing a comprehensive take-down. It was just an example of how you hid your own personal expectations under layers of sweet-sounding platitudes.
And she apparently didn't have an argument against what I said, or she wouldn't have attempted to move the goalposts instead of giving a counterpoint. But then again, it's just another example if you projecting your opinion onto someone else, isn't it? Is she not allowed to speak for herself?
1) You're making an assumption that is not right. (I know because I wrote the take. I'm also not going to explain it because I have better things to do than argue.) 2) I was only expressing her point. Was hers too vaild that it offended you? Again, it's YOUR life to live. Women won't suffer the consequences; you will. All we will do is just pick better men. Then a lot of the guys on this site complain that they can't get women and don't understand why so few men are so popularly preferred among us lol... But again, I have better things to do than to argue about this. I'm only replying this time because you gave an inquisitive attitude and not a closed-minded one, so I salute you for that.
But you're still equating being a real man with "what women want". That's all I was trying to say in the first place... that you're injecting your expectations of men into the meaning of being a real man.
Flip the genders and it becomes more clear: would you accept a set of guidelines for being a "real woman" if it was based on what the majority of men want? Of course not. And I don't base my actions on what the majority of women want.
YES but you're looking at it from the wrong perspective. In this MyTake I'm saying live YOUR life and don't make women the priority. Don't revolve around trying to please women. THAT'S what we like: a man who lives for himself. That's what makes a confident, secure, dependable man. Does the last sentence not make sense to you?: Stay true to yourself, be the man YOU want to be, and the rest will fall into place.
😂😂😂😂"dont revolve your life around trying to please women. THAT'S what we like" 😂😂😂😂
I'm looking at it from the wrong perspective, huh? I'm a man who does what he wants regardless of what anyone thinks, but I'm looking at it wrong because I'm not looking at it from the perspective of a woman, who has no idea what it's like to be a man, but wants to tell me how to be a man.
You don't seem to get it. A real man doesn't care what about him pleases you and what doesn't. If my girlfriend gets pissed off that I won't change to suit her and walks out, guess what?
Forget it, dude. I'm not gonna try to explain it further. It's very simple. Most of the other guys who commented on this got the message. I'm actually thinking you just read the title and freaked out. And your scenario is invalid. No point in trying to explain something to a stubborn closed-minded person. I tried.
Lol. I read the whole thing. I agree with a lot of it. But look back through it for yourself and see how many times you related it right back to what women want.
And then you're gonna tell me I'M not seeing it from the right perspective. I mean, if mansplaining had an opposite-gender personification, you'd be in the top 5, for sure.
What Makes A Man A Man Being an adult human with a Y chromosome. Everything else is someone else's definition of how men should be behave, which is not the same thing.
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0 Reply
Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
Its called learning to think healthy. Boundaries and morals. Our streets have become like mexicos streets violence. Scary morals and crime. Movies push mental illness, childish thought life.. Porn does the same. Master slave crap.. We are doomed..
If you have those qualities then don't let society fool you into thinking you aren't a man. Honestly, if you have even half of those qualities then you're wanted by women somewhere. Think about it... Even the women who cry hard-core toxic masculinity, at the end of the day what do they want?
@Alex_988_2 EVERYTHING matters. Let’s be real: everything- looks, personality, etc. - all comes together. This is on being a man, not on which of those men we prefer. Yes, there are other factors. But I’d definitely say that if you’ve got this part and you’ve got the looks, you’ve definitely got the females.
@Alex_988_2 What’s immature is you trying to argue over something this stupid. And it is very much an opinion, especially considering you don’t even know me.
I liked your post! "Nobody is perfect, so don't try to fake it." This sentence is strong.
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0 Reply
Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
So in other words, still conforming to an expectation.
2
13 Reply
myTake Owner
+1 y
Nope. Making your own expectations and then everything else falling into place. But if you don't understand the concept I am NOT arguing about this. I didn't argue with the two (yeah, 2 out of 43) guys who didn't want to understand it so I'm not gonna argue it with you. Live your life. I won't be the one making the decisions or getting the consequences - whether good or bad. Ignore this post if you want to, but I won't argue about it. You don't sound too inquisitive, just closed-minded. The other guys got the message and that's all that matters.
“You don't sound too inquisitive” I am inquisitive to a fault - quite pedantic really, but there’s also a question of ‘what do I inquire about?’ It’s a lot of the conventional ‘confidence’ rhetoric, what irks me is the idealism and the aspect of ‘this is what I want in a man.’ When you do that, you’re impressing upon them all the things you want them to be. A lot of guys can say things like this, but they’re not so much the caricature of confidence as much as they are a guy adapting to the constraints of the problems parameterized by women. They have to adapt out of necessity. It’s much more fluff for a puff rather than substance which piques the inquisitive.
What’s not talked about is the reality that nothing could work out. In my experience, the “be yourself” advice has been really undermining for guys. The real message is “be what I want you to be”, we presume you don’t want me to say ‘yeah, great take, whatever you say is right’, but if “other guys getting the message” is what’s important, is that really the case?
Well, here’s the test, can you confront the unpleasant emotions, the ugly emotions? – and it’s reflected in the “Real men show their emotions because they have peace within themselves” point. You don’t want to see their real emotions, not their *real* emotions. You want a note of emotionality, a modicum of vulnerability -- but not substantive vulnerability, not their *real* problems. If, for example, they harbor crippling anguish or seething resentment, you aren’t interested in being in touch with that, not really. He’s going to be labelled a baby or a loser or whatever else allows you to dismiss him as inferior or unworthy of the moral franchise. You even had a go at me just for not being in lockstep on your view in one sentence, so what am I to believe? Do you respect me more for not walking in lockstep on this matter… or less? Funny that.
Even the idea that “it’s not all sunshine and roses” can accept an abundance of sunshine and roses. The essence of what I first said was that you still have an expectation of things you enjoy from men, and which you are grooming men for. Does that not line up?
So, here’s a line of questioning which I believe has the possibility of an enlightening answer which can contextualize all of this: You said, “that’s what I[you] want in a man”. What if I don’t want to be a “real” man or even a man at all? And I don’t mean transgender, I mean what if I want to be a “boy” or *whatever* else. Can you still want me?
Let's just say I have a fiance who is a real man - does all of these things but doesn't live his life just to please women. He could have probably 90% of the women he has looked at if he wanted to, trust me. However, his attitude to me (as his woman) is more like, "I love you and I'll treat you right, but you're not going to determine the decisions I make." Let's also throw in the fact that I LOVE when he shows me his true emotions. For example, his great-grandfather passed last year, and he cried on my shoulder plenty of times because they had had quite a history together. I'd never make fun of him for that, and I greatly appreciate that he was so open and honest with me. As his future wife, I want to know what bothers him. Anyways, take it how you want to.
I don’t care if you think he could get 90% of women. If anything, it just serves my point about idealism.
"I love you and I'll treat you right, but you're not going to determine the decisions I make." That’s called being normal, you don’t get a cookie for being mundane. Most people hold this attitude, but it’s also glossing over the fact the people do compromise on this constantly and that it’s a good thing to do so.
“For example, his great-grandfather passed last year, and he cried on my shoulder plenty of times” That’s not a good example. Obviously, a guy is going to have permission to cry over a death in the family. Again, not special, no one has a problem with this. People who act like this isn’t acceptable are usually trying to push a false premise of rampant “toxic masculinity” in the world, like “oh look, society won’t even let him cry over his dead gran”. Well that’s not real, the only people saying that will say it when they are accusing society of saying it to men.
Can’t help but notice you scooted on by my ‘real man’ line of questioning. Having no comment can still be an enlightening answer...
I know I’m right, but I have a life and better things to do than argue about this. Have it if you want. Again, I don’t care how you take this post. You’re just trying to cause problems. So you can have it because I have better things to do. Adios
@joeblow123 That 90% of the women he has met or who have even seen him find him attractive, yes that’s exactly what I’m saying. And the anonymous guy wasn’t inquisitive, just defensive
To be honest though i read some and the things i have issues with is somethings mentioned are stereotypes that society has made of how men must be the part that sucks is that society makes it a big deal and if a man can't do those things guess what happens depression feeling less like a man then suicide
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
74Opinion
Don't really agree with that. The description of arrogance sound more like insecurity, and the description of 'confidence' just sounds like a person who's receptive and eager to learn... It doesn't really describe what confidence is.
That's what I see younger man not doing,,, that's how a man should act,, thanks for that awesome info🙏
How to be a man:
Step 1: don't take advice from women about how to be a man
@DeltaCharlieEcho
True: masculistman.freewebspace.com/...imaga%20link.html
Well done my take. Here's a crash course in toxic masculinity.
A wise man once said don't be a hero, be a mercenary
@captain_voidwalker
"A wise man once said don't be a hero, be a mercenary"
Be self-employed instead of working for the government.
Yet another woman telling men how to be men... but in all reality, telling men how to be the perfect servant to women.
A man who focuses on being a "good man" will end up being a strong, brave, reliable, well-trained slave.
What's your definition of a "good man"?
I mean a "real man." Sorry, was typing something else too
My definition doesn't matter. The reference was to the idea women have of what a good man is.
Your definition DOES matter. It needs to be seen for the differences it has with what I wrote. Believe it or not, I'm a woman who cares about what the men have to say. So what's your definition of it? Also, why wouldn't you want women to know YOUR definition? Unless you're just trying to cause trouble, but I'm not going to automatically assume that you are... So let's see your definition? You probably have a better one than I do.
Nobody gets to define what a real man is. A real man is free to do as he pleases as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else. Where men go wrong is obeying what people say we're supposed to do, even while realizing it's not in our best interest.
Interesting... because that's pretty much the whole gist of everything I said. That FREEDOM from doing what others tell you that you have to do or be. Live your life how you want to live it, to the extent that you want to live it. The traits I listed only emphasize that.
Sure. But at the same time, you also gave requirements that conform to what you want. A real man shows his emotions? Who says? Because they have peace within themselves? Horseshit. Whether a man does or doesn't show you his emotions has more to do with you than him. And I'm guessing you only want to see certain ones, am I right? Do you want him to show you his rage, or do you want him to keep that one under a tight lid? How about jealousy? Or maybe fear... oh, wait, that would make him NOT a real man.
No, y'all want a man who cries when watching a tragic movie so you feel like you have your girlfriend sitting with you. Meanwhile, he's thinking "why the fuck didn't those dumbshits just use the fucking stairs?" or something.
Bottom line, you want a man to act the way you want him to act, when you want him to act that way.
A man who has peace within himself doesn't need to let his emotions out. The need to let them out is a result of turmoil.
I guess you didn't read the rest?
@serafin so you agree...
No, I think she realizes that you only paid attention to one part, misinterpreted it (because that’s NOT what it’s saying, even other guys got it if you read the comments), and just want to cause problems, which I don’t care to deal with. You don’t have to agree. It’s your life to live, not ours. But we do happen to be the picky ones, so don’t be surprised when we choose better men. Anyways, adios
Forgive me for not dissecting the entire thing and doing a comprehensive take-down. It was just an example of how you hid your own personal expectations under layers of sweet-sounding platitudes.
And she apparently didn't have an argument against what I said, or she wouldn't have attempted to move the goalposts instead of giving a counterpoint. But then again, it's just another example if you projecting your opinion onto someone else, isn't it? Is she not allowed to speak for herself?
1) You're making an assumption that is not right. (I know because I wrote the take. I'm also not going to explain it because I have better things to do than argue.)
2) I was only expressing her point. Was hers too vaild that it offended you?
Again, it's YOUR life to live. Women won't suffer the consequences; you will. All we will do is just pick better men. Then a lot of the guys on this site complain that they can't get women and don't understand why so few men are so popularly preferred among us lol...
But again, I have better things to do than to argue about this. I'm only replying this time because you gave an inquisitive attitude and not a closed-minded one, so I salute you for that.
But you're still equating being a real man with "what women want". That's all I was trying to say in the first place... that you're injecting your expectations of men into the meaning of being a real man.
Flip the genders and it becomes more clear: would you accept a set of guidelines for being a "real woman" if it was based on what the majority of men want? Of course not. And I don't base my actions on what the majority of women want.
YES but you're looking at it from the wrong perspective. In this MyTake I'm saying live YOUR life and don't make women the priority. Don't revolve around trying to please women. THAT'S what we like: a man who lives for himself. That's what makes a confident, secure, dependable man. Does the last sentence not make sense to you?: Stay true to yourself, be the man YOU want to be, and the rest will fall into place.
😂😂😂😂"dont revolve your life around trying to please women. THAT'S what we like" 😂😂😂😂
I'm looking at it from the wrong perspective, huh? I'm a man who does what he wants regardless of what anyone thinks, but I'm looking at it wrong because I'm not looking at it from the perspective of a woman, who has no idea what it's like to be a man, but wants to tell me how to be a man.
You don't seem to get it. A real man doesn't care what about him pleases you and what doesn't. If my girlfriend gets pissed off that I won't change to suit her and walks out, guess what?
Forget it, dude. I'm not gonna try to explain it further. It's very simple. Most of the other guys who commented on this got the message. I'm actually thinking you just read the title and freaked out. And your scenario is invalid. No point in trying to explain something to a stubborn closed-minded person. I tried.
Lol. I read the whole thing. I agree with a lot of it. But look back through it for yourself and see how many times you related it right back to what women want.
And then you're gonna tell me I'M not seeing it from the right perspective. I mean, if mansplaining had an opposite-gender personification, you'd be in the top 5, for sure.
Some good ideas here.
But I wonder if there's any what makes a woman a woman, written by men here :)
What Makes A Man A Man
Being an adult human with a Y chromosome. Everything else is someone else's definition of how men should be behave, which is not the same thing.
Its called learning to think healthy. Boundaries and morals. Our streets have become like mexicos streets violence. Scary morals and crime. Movies push mental illness, childish thought life.. Porn does the same. Master slave crap.. We are doomed..
Sorry, I fell asleep halfway through this novella. I'll have to pick it up another time.
Earn money for himself and spend money for his family as well as for parents too
What make a man a man?
When they can stand their ground in a manner of speaking.
From this post it sounds like a guy like me who is very quiet like me woman would not be interested in me
It doesn't say anything about being introverted. However, it does point that dominion matters. But I get what you mean
This is amazing. I agree fully. 🖤
Thank you <3
Its helped me realize I do have these qualities. Not only did I doubt it. I was to believe it was very different.
If you have those qualities then don't let society fool you into thinking you aren't a man. Honestly, if you have even half of those qualities then you're wanted by women somewhere. Think about it... Even the women who cry hard-core toxic masculinity, at the end of the day what do they want?
Nope, not taking "how to be a man" advise from a woman. But those quotes were great nonetheless.
Didn’t ask you if you were or not 😊
Thank you for posting this, good take.
Thanks, friend :)
So this leads to the old clichée that women want confident men only
Preferrably yes
and looks doont matter? in general and to you?
@Alex_988_2 EVERYTHING matters. Let’s be real: everything- looks, personality, etc. - all comes together. This is on being a man, not on which of those men we prefer. Yes, there are other factors. But I’d definitely say that if you’ve got this part and you’ve got the looks, you’ve definitely got the females.
@Alex_988_2 That's your opinion, which fyi I have no reason to care about.
@Alex_988_2 What’s immature is you trying to argue over something this stupid. And it is very much an opinion, especially considering you don’t even know me.
Let it be 😅 I think he got it
I liked your post! "Nobody is perfect, so don't try to fake it." This sentence is strong.
So in other words, still conforming to an expectation.
Nope. Making your own expectations and then everything else falling into place.
But if you don't understand the concept I am NOT arguing about this. I didn't argue with the two (yeah, 2 out of 43) guys who didn't want to understand it so I'm not gonna argue it with you. Live your life. I won't be the one making the decisions or getting the consequences - whether good or bad. Ignore this post if you want to, but I won't argue about it. You don't sound too inquisitive, just closed-minded. The other guys got the message and that's all that matters.
“You don't sound too inquisitive”
I am inquisitive to a fault - quite pedantic really, but there’s also a question of ‘what do I inquire about?’ It’s a lot of the conventional ‘confidence’ rhetoric, what irks me is the idealism and the aspect of ‘this is what I want in a man.’ When you do that, you’re impressing upon them all the things you want them to be. A lot of guys can say things like this, but they’re not so much the caricature of confidence as much as they are a guy adapting to the constraints of the problems parameterized by women. They have to adapt out of necessity. It’s much more fluff for a puff rather than substance which piques the inquisitive.
What’s not talked about is the reality that nothing could work out. In my experience, the “be yourself” advice has been really undermining for guys. The real message is “be what I want you to be”, we presume you don’t want me to say ‘yeah, great take, whatever you say is right’, but if “other guys getting the message” is what’s important, is that really the case?
Well, here’s the test, can you confront the unpleasant emotions, the ugly emotions? – and it’s reflected in the “Real men show their emotions because they have peace within themselves” point. You don’t want to see their real emotions, not their *real* emotions. You want a note of emotionality, a modicum of vulnerability -- but not substantive vulnerability, not their *real* problems. If, for example, they harbor crippling anguish or seething resentment, you aren’t interested in being in touch with that, not really. He’s going to be labelled a baby or a loser or whatever else allows you to dismiss him as inferior or unworthy of the moral franchise. You even had a go at me just for not being in lockstep on your view in one sentence, so what am I to believe? Do you respect me more for not walking in lockstep on this matter… or less? Funny that.
Even the idea that “it’s not all sunshine and roses” can accept an abundance of sunshine and roses. The essence of what I first said was that you still have an expectation of things you enjoy from men, and which you are grooming men for. Does that not line up?
So, here’s a line of questioning which I believe has the possibility of an enlightening answer which can contextualize all of this: You said, “that’s what I[you] want in a man”. What if I don’t want to be a “real” man or even a man at all? And I don’t mean transgender, I mean what if I want to be a “boy” or *whatever* else. Can you still want me?
Let's just say I have a fiance who is a real man - does all of these things but doesn't live his life just to please women. He could have probably 90% of the women he has looked at if he wanted to, trust me. However, his attitude to me (as his woman) is more like, "I love you and I'll treat you right, but you're not going to determine the decisions I make." Let's also throw in the fact that I LOVE when he shows me his true emotions. For example, his great-grandfather passed last year, and he cried on my shoulder plenty of times because they had had quite a history together. I'd never make fun of him for that, and I greatly appreciate that he was so open and honest with me. As his future wife, I want to know what bothers him.
Anyways, take it how you want to.
Oh my goodness if that ain't the cutest thing I've ever heard, he seems like a good Wholesome guy eh?
@Yamahoo Yeah, he very much is <3 :)
I don’t care if you think he could get 90% of women. If anything, it just serves my point about idealism.
"I love you and I'll treat you right, but you're not going to determine the decisions I make."
That’s called being normal, you don’t get a cookie for being mundane. Most people hold this attitude, but it’s also glossing over the fact the people do compromise on this constantly and that it’s a good thing to do so.
“For example, his great-grandfather passed last year, and he cried on my shoulder plenty of times”
That’s not a good example. Obviously, a guy is going to have permission to cry over a death in the family. Again, not special, no one has a problem with this. People who act like this isn’t acceptable are usually trying to push a false premise of rampant “toxic masculinity” in the world, like “oh look, society won’t even let him cry over his dead gran”. Well that’s not real, the only people saying that will say it when they are accusing society of saying it to men.
Can’t help but notice you scooted on by my ‘real man’ line of questioning.
Having no comment can still be an enlightening answer...
I know I’m right, but I have a life and better things to do than argue about this. Have it if you want. Again, I don’t care how you take this post. You’re just trying to cause problems. So you can have it because I have better things to do. Adios
@Yads_Is_Back
"He could have probably 90% of the women he has looked at if he wanted to, trust me."
IOW 90% of the female population find him attractive. Is that what you are saying?
"I am inquisitive to a fault"
There is nothing wrong with being inquisitive. If your questions yield knowledge and truth that is a good thing.
@joeblow123 That 90% of the women he has met or who have even seen him find him attractive, yes that’s exactly what I’m saying.
And the anonymous guy wasn’t inquisitive, just defensive
@Yads_Is_Back
"And the anonymous guy wasn’t inquisitive, just defensive"
Institutionalized misandry will do that to a man.
@joeblow123 I know there's nothing wrong with being inquisitive. Was more pointing out the irony.
What makes a man is an adams apple
More like a pair of testicles... but make sure to show it through your actions :)
To be honest though i read some and the things i have issues with is somethings mentioned are stereotypes that society has made of how men must be the part that sucks is that society makes it a big deal and if a man can't do those things guess what happens depression feeling less like a man then suicide