Why Men SHOULD Express Their Feelings To Us and My Personal Story Of Why It's NORMAL For Men To Cry!

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I realize that a lot of men feel like they can't express themselves to or in front of females because they are afraid of looking like less of a man. Emotions don't determine masculinity. All humans go through some kind of emotion and changes. If you don't have emotion, you're not a man! Actually, you're not even human. You're a robot.

I like a passionate man, which means that I want my man to be in touch with his emotions. My fiancé is a very passionate man, and this is one of many things I love about him. Maybe you're saying well I have emotion but I just can't express it. Well, he usually expresses his in two ways: physical love or art/music. He's very talented in art and musical instruments. A lot of times he will just play songs. For example, if he's feeling mad he will play his electric guitar with an intense rock song. You get the idea.
Well he also expresses his emotions physically, and this is what makes me want him and love him so much. It's his true self that he's not afraid to show. This is beneficial in bed too. ;) It makes the experience passionate, spontaneous, and amazing.

Physically expressing your emotions means it's okay to cry. And I want to mention one moment that I'll never forget.

I went back to see Justin last March. His great-uncle, whom Justin had been close with as Justin is a family-oriented person, had died and had a funeral a few days before I arrived in Atlanta. The first time Justin and I got to be alone the same day I arrived, we went out and walked in the forest behind his grandfather's house. We sat down by a tree and he held me and kissed me, but he stopped at a point and just sat there still. I looked at him and could see that something was wrong, he wasn't even looking at me, and I asked if he was alright and held his face, and I barely got to look into his eyes before he tried to speak but began crying. And I don't mean shedding a few tears. My fiancé was emotionally wrecked at that moment; he was crying. And this touched me. I was able to hold him, not make him speak, let him cry into my shoulder, hold him tight, wipe his tears when he finished, and tell him it's okay. Before holding me his first instinct was to use his hands to cover his face, but with the way we were sitting he couldn't, his arms were around my waist, so he wrapped them around me tighter and he automatically fell his face into my shoulder. And he cried. Of course I was able to make him feel better and we had an amazing day. It brought us closer.

I don't know why so many of you men think this is a bad thing or makes you less of a man. It shows passion and it shows that you're not a robot. A man with no emotion is not a human in my book. Yeah, don't cry because somebody takes the last cookie. But showing emotion shows that you're happy with who you are, you aren't insecure about it, and it brings you closer to whoever you express them to.
This is part of the reason Justin and I are getting married. I love a man who has nothing to hide. I love his masculinity and his openness. The two don't counteract. He's masculine, he's not insecure about being a human, he's passionate, and he's very honest with himself and me. And face it: we're all humans and we all have emotions. If you choose to hide them, that's you and your insecurities. You can't grow close to people like that and they can't grow close to you. Also, everybody knows humans have emotions, so acting like you don't have any only makes you look ignorant or stuck-up, sometimes both. Face your fears, stop being insecure, and start being honest with yourself and others. Having no emotion makes you LESS of a man. More of a walking robot.

Why Men SHOULD Express Their Feelings To Us and My Personal Story Of Why Its NORMAL For Men To Cry!
Why Men SHOULD Express Their Feelings To Us and My Personal Story Of Why It's NORMAL For Men To Cry!
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Most Helpful Girl

  • Great Take... I agree with you. And I think it's so ridiculous when men and women say masculine men don't cry. I did one take about why it's okay for anyone to cry/show emotion and some of the replies I started gathering material for a second but never did it... But I was going to include pics of football players who cried when winning the Superbowl, Male doctors who cried when losing a patient... Responders crying over the death of a child, well you get the point... As you said here, it takes a person comfortable in themselves and their skin to show, share their emotions. And just because some people might not be, it's not okay to try to shame others who are... Crying or not crying isn't what makes a man a man or not a man... I'm so glad you have someone that loves you and trusts you enough to share his true self with you... I wish you all the happiness and success both in your marriage and in your life 💜🌹
    Is this still revelant?

Most Helpful Guy

  • jgokgotit
    Justin is lucky to have a woman like you. However, for most guys, reality is that women get repelled by us showing any weakness. I've yet to meet a woman who does not run away the first moment I show vulnerability. That is one reason why I have given up on love (the other being I'm in law enforcement and do not want to endanger my family due to my career). I do want to be a woman's rock, but I also want her to be mine as well.
    Is this still revelant?
    • Jack9949

      You actually are a fairly decent looking guy. I wouldn’t give up if I were you

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What Girls & Guys Said

323
  • Nalix
    Expressing emotions can mean a lot of things. I always hear about crying, but for many men that is simply not an emotion that they feel. I know men who do, and I grew up around them. I don't think I've ever seen my father cry, but he is very open with his emotions.

    For many men the lack of emotions is precisely because they've learned through personal experience that women will lose interest in them if they express them.

    For other men, I know that they feel trapped and just turn off. They fade into apathy because they can't engage with the women in their lives. They can't run. They can't run. They certainly can't fight. Expressing anything at all is punished. So they stop caring, stop feeling, as a defensive mechanism. It's all they have left.

    I know emotions run deep for a lot of men. And I know that what men often feel, if women could see it, would make them piss themselves in terror. I don't know if you can comprehend the rage that many of us hide in a simple sigh.

    Men don't feel fear or sadness like women do. We usually feel anger or resolve instead. Very often those tears hide real anger. We do feel fear and sadness, but often not at the same things or in the same ways.

    Often when I see opinions like this, desiring for men to express their emotions, the focus is on crying, when there is so much more that men would truly love to express, but feel they can't, or just don't know how. Often I feel that the only emotions men are allowed to express are the one's that women feel comfortable with.

    I don't think I was ever told as a little boy that I couldn't cry. I know I was told that I shouldn't be angry. That I should be more like the girls. That being accepting and open, and free to express myself really meant that I was being invited to express what the girls around me were expressing, to be like them. They were always held up as models of expression and emotion, and the boys berated for not acting like them.
    • I get what you mean, that there is a difference. I just wish I could understand it.
      Like, he was only upset that way when his great-uncle died

  • hahahmm
    Don't assume that the average man experiences emotions the same way that a woman does. He genuinely might not have the same feelings you do or need to express them the same way. There's more variety in male brains than female ones according to scientists... so you can find guys who will cry and act just like you but that doesn't mean it's normal for all men.
    • I understand that. This is not a biological discussion, just a general principle.

  • FatherJack
    Very well put and agree , however , here's the irony , it is often women that will use this against men , not happened to me personally , but have witnessed women being downright nasty to men & treating him with disgust ... after him being heartbroken by , like your future hubby Justin , a bereavement FFS !! I have encountered slightly more downright cruel & nasty women than men. Apart from the usual societal conditioning , I believe this can be major factor in why men do become icebergs , because of the ice queens out there.

    The last time I was in that sort of state as your Justin , was when I discovered the body of my beloved ferret Miss Woolworth July 19 , she accidentally killed herself by entering a large soft toy and got trapped , I had no idea & looked for her frantically for 3 days.. then flies led me there... beyond heartbreaking. He she was with my daughter Lucia , we were both in the same state... she was adorable , yet a mean , savage rat killer too...
    The late , beloved Miss Woolworth & Lucia.
    The late , beloved Miss Woolworth & Lucia.
    • That is really cute! 💕

    • FatherJack

      I love this pic , she was cute , I also had her equally cute chunky 1/2 polecat daughter , Polefat , she had more wild European Polecat markings with the trademark " bandit mask " over her eyes. She went missing the April before , also heartbroken losing my Polefatl , an even more savage rat killer than her late mamma , miss my fluffy girls so much.

  • Ali9994
    NO! It’s not ok for men to express emotions, unless it’s anger, men are demonized and insulted for coming off as too emotional or insecure, just like they are demonized and mocked for not being tall, for being thin, for being anxious, for asking for help, for having romantic needs, for not excelling athletically, for not being able to effortlessly attract the opposite sex, not being dominant.

    Men who are any of these things are mocked to no end
    • Being insecure to not express yourself is a turn-off. Not saying other women don’t do what you said though

    • Ali9994

      If you want “toxic masculinity” stop perpetuating it

    • I love masculinity and don’t consider it toxic in any way. I’m a feminine woman and I like a masculine man

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  • Jjpayne
    I absolutely love this! It's refreshing to hear this from a woman's prospective. A woman that wants to see her man have a wide range of emotions. To feel free to have emotions and that those emotions are powerful enough to inspire a marriage! And congrats by the way! Thank you for sharing this intimate detail of your life with us! It was very special!
  • JCT666
    Nice take.

    However, in my experience, getting emotional had only made problems worse and damaged past relationships as I only turned into a bigger burden to those who had dealt with me.

    I haven't cried in front of someone for 6 years now, and that's okay. No matter how much I see posts encouraging men to cry it out, if I'm going to cry, it will be behind closed doors and not in front of anyone, let alone a future spouse.
  • KingdomForAKiss
    Very well said. Having dated a man who was more in touch with his emotions and one that is not, I do prefer the openess. Especially as time goes on in the relationship, I want to experience all aspects of my partner's life. Being closed off limits that.
  • Hermes-Paris
    An occasional tear at the loss of a loved one or something profound in a mans life is about as much show of emotion most women want to see in my experience. I have heard so many women make fun of men crying over the years. Like I say it depends on the occasion. Death of a parent, child, sibling or friend is OK. But a dood who cries at movies or at poetry readings is considered pathetic by most women. I remember hearing a conversation by two women next to me at a cafe talking about her beaux who cried when the wolfie dood in Xmen died. She was laughing at him and was wondering if she should dump him. Poor guy.
  • Jack9949
    Well I’m glad you posted this cause I feel the same way. Besides aren’t relationships all about openness? You shouldn’t have to hide you feelings from somebody you love.
  • Gwenhwyfar
    Great Take

    Gonna miss you if you’re still leaving
    • Arriving in Atlanta tomorrow <3
      I’ll miss you too. Even if I stay I won’t be on half as much.

    • Gwenhwyfar

      Me too. Good luck 😊.

    • And thanks for all your smart contributions. You taught me some cool stuff lol
      by the way, I still hope you got partner 🙏🏼

    • Show All
  • The_Sal
    in my experience it made me look weak.
    tried it once never again. the girl distanced herself from me. never again.
    I seem to do very well with women when I don't cry and act like a dick.
  • We should, but it doesn't mean that we will.
    I find it better to not express my feelings with my women.
  • JakeS00
    I agree with your outlook. To me, men shouldn't have to be scrutinized for shedding a tear or having emotions. Strength comes from emotion; weakness follows. But when you have the two when expressed, you'll come out normal.
  • my penis is my heart. so break my balls all you want but i am still intact
  • pizzalovershouse
    We do what works for us gugs are afraid to say what they feel or mean cuz girls gate how gugs say it like a girl ask do these pants make my butt look fat a guy say yes a girl gets mad so he keeps his mouth shut
  • bamesjond0069
    So you're having a lesbian marriage to a woman? 🤔😂

    But for real, i think a few tears when a close family member dies is normal. But its also normal if he didn't cry. But its never normal for a man to have a rough day at work and cry or someone yelled at him and he cries. That is just wrong wrong wrong and you would not find that attractive.

    Most of the other stuff you said is just made up nonsense. Because he cries he's better at music and more spontaneous in bed. Uh huh. Thats pretty ridiculous. I bet there are many men who don't cry who are better musicians and lovers. And tbh a few tears at a close family death i dont really count, if thats the only time he cries he basically never cries. So i wouldn't call him a crier.
    • I think you’re looking at it the wrong way.
      I said don’t cry if somebody steals the last cookie. That’s a way of saying yeah don’t be a baby.
      Are passionate people better in bed? Yeah! That’s a fact. Is passion determined by crying? No. But it IS how in touch one is with his/her emotions.
      I think you took this way off on a wrong direction 🤣

    • I don't think passionate has anything to do with crying at least for men. Passion comes from aggression or it does for me. Plus men who dont cry have control of their emotions. doesn't mean they dont have them. If you can control it how would that make you less passionate? It seems it would make you more passionate since you can focus it when and how you want.

    • Exactly. In your original you were saying that passion and crying are directly related

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  • It’s TOTALLY NORMAL for a man to cry when his football team loses the match.
  • Grond21
    Good for him, and good for you for finding him and encouraging him
  • I agree that men should emotionally express themselves but some women would laugh at them. But I guess I'm emotional but not in the public as much
  • COMMODOREII
    I tell you my feelings all the time.
    • Doesn't count lol

    • I'm still the second guy if it don't work out. Right? 😂

    • LOL I don’t keep seconds or need them. Nothing will happen to me and Justin. But hypothetically if something did I just wouldn’t feel like living anymore.

    • Show All
  • KrakenAttackin
    @yads_is_back. Yads... We have been through this.
    • I forgot then lol
      Which part of GA are you from? You’d get along with Peaches 😂

  • fxllenone
    No, thank you!
  • Tstrbrainer
    That's cute.
    • But what attracted me more was the forest. Does it have wild animals?

  • Smf1989
    Very good and I expressed my feelings
  • Anonymous
    Any display of weak emotions (sadness, frustration, depression, vulnerability, etc) will eventually be used against a man. The reason women want us to express it is because it gives you leverage.
  • Anonymous
    Men are different to women. Even the size of our tear ducts and ability to cry is impacted by this difference...
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