Men vs. women making mistakes

[Asimiv]

I don't know if it's only me, but it seems to me that guys get away with making mistakes *early on* more than women do. In the sense of if a guy unintentionally messes sth up, the woman will still be willing to discuss it and let it go (as long it's not something severe). But if a woman untentionally messes sth up (also as long as it's not sth severe) and the guy gets even slightly hurt, he runs away immediately and doesn't want to discuss anything.

I'm not only talking about personal experience, but also some others I've heard. It's like we're expected to be fully aware of everything and knowing everything from the get go. Like guys expect us to be seemingly perfect initially. It's just not fair.

[ohsheeT]

Well guess what don't worry about it without this mistakes without failure you cannot succeed you cannot grow as a person for me I have to experience it to understand it on a lot of things because everything we do in life there's different levels of it take it on

A mistake is just because you weren't prepared you weren't paying attention it's okay. You're going to have to live through it five more times anyway in life just on different circumstances so go ahead and fail go ahead and make mistakes because that way you were going to learn quicker and faster than anybody else it seems like you're that type of person anyway you see and you feel things deeper than most people that's why you're asking this question.

So challenge yourself is it okay to make mistakes because there is no such thing because all you do is you gain knowledge out of it and it makes you better in the long run it makes you smarter or wiser healthier and if other people cannot see that that's on them that's not on you that's their mistake.

[Asimiv]

I agree and I always learn from my mistakes. But I also always give a chance to somebody else who made a mistake to learn and show growth. (As long as it wasn't a serious mistake that's a non-negotiable for me - but even then I discuss it openly with the person, I don't run away. I just don't continue the dating/relationship after the discussion). What I have a problem with is men often running away at the first sign of trouble/hurt even when the mistake wasn't something serious (like cheating, insulting, etc.), but an honest mistake that can easily be learned from and made right by open communication

[ohsheeT]

When you say then running away even it's a problem with small like cheating or insulting who's doing the cheating and then something

[Asimiv]

When I mentioned cheating, I was describing a serious mistake, not a small thing

[ohsheeT]

Is true but who cheated you or him

[Asimiv]

Nobody 🤦🏽‍♀️ I was just giving an example of a serious mistake to make it clear that I'm not talking about things like that

[ohsheeT]

It's okay to be honest with you I kind of forget the point that I was trying to make LOL

[dynamicyandere]

I believe it depends on who’s the more emotionally stable and calm one in the relationship.


The one who is more emotionally stable and calm will likely be more patient with their partner.


This could be either the guy or the girl.

[glennos89]

@Asimiv Thanks for the compliment appreciate that!

I can give you the same compliment back as well because you are actually genuine and able to realise you made a mistake and apologize for your mistake aswell! Wish all woman would be like that!

I'm not sure why the guy you talked about ghosted you twice. Maybe he is immature or perhaps he has been hurt to many times already before that his thrust in woman has come to a point that he just doesn't thrust them anymore.

Either way, you shouldn't feel guilty for it because you tried to have a conversation about it, you apologized for your mistakes and that's really all you can do at that point. If he is ghosting you after it, no mather for what reason he decided to ghost you...
You should just move on from that point on then, because obviously you can't build any type of relationship with such people if they lack the ability to properly and maturely communicate to you whenever there is a problem 🤷🏻‍♂️

You deseve better then that don't you think? 😉

[Asimiv]

Thanks, I appreciate it 🤍

[JacobJordan]

I have seen it more commonly the reverse. however regardless of which way I think it comes down to everyone expects guys to make mistakes because guys are not exactly known for being all that careful to begin with. where as women are at least comparatively far less likely to make mistakes. I think in situations where the guy is really hard on the lady it is because he misinterpreted women make far less mistakes as women make no mistakes. where as women who get mad at a guy for a mistake are generally speaking far harsher than a guy would be.

[Asimiv]

I would say it's reverse in the later stages, but like I said early on when you start to date. (Not always ofc, but mostly). But I agree with your take on it

[CalmUntilAbused]

Well... To begin with, it's a common concept about women in our culture that they are the perfect human beings. The innocent, the kind, the caring. So I guess that's naturally what's expected from them.

Now... To be even more serious, I'm not sure whether it's an actual rule, but for those men who do follow this kind of approach, it might be a result of a slightly overreacted red flag detection and avoidance policy that gained a lot of popularity among men recently. If the female mistake in question is cheating, getting violent or manipulative, then I guess it's only logical to withdraw from a relationship with a person capable of this kind of behavior. And, just so that we are on the same page, it should definitely work both ways. The problem is, women are seemingly attracted to violent and manipulative men, as they supposedly appear more "masculine".

[Asimiv]

I wasn't talking about severe mistakes like cheating, I already said that in the post. Otherwise, I agree with everything you said

[CalmUntilAbused]

And that's exactly why I mentioned the overreaction. What is a perfectly healthy reaction might turn into madness if taken to the extreme. But can You really blame people with little or no experience, who used to believe in all that stuff about women being perfect human beings? They are bound to be oversuspicious about every single potential mistake as soon as they learn they've been misled. It's not something they can get rid of by themselves, as it's a disfigurement of the all-important survival instinct, and in a world where almost everyone expects perfection while nobody is actually perfect, they are only going to get hurt more by those women who are going to try and drill them into perfection, deepening their caution and suspicions. That's why we desperately need a worldwide group of kind and caring people to try and fix the problem, case after case, reintroducing these people to the society not through a traumatic crash course, but through building positive experience with imperfection.

[Naruse]

To be fair men are held to some really dumb gendered standards that tend to endear them less towards a position of sympathy, of course there are exceptions but I think it's something a lot of guys have to deal with. With that said everyone is judged by how they comport themselves, sometimes what someone reveals about themselves too early can change your perception of who they are, as tends to be the issue with romantics. A lot of the time it isn't fair, I'm terrible at putting my best foot forward but some people are more judgmental about it than others.

[Asimiv]

"sometimes what someone reveals about themselves too early can change your perception of who they are, as tends to be the issue with romantics" - Can you elaborate?

[Naruse]

Ok take someone with anxiety right? Normally they aren't a wreck but let's assume they can kinda cope with social anxiety in most situations then they get a crush on you and ask you out. Normally they might be fairly calm but in a high stress situation where they want to impress you they just come off as jumpy overexcited or manic. Even if you leave mental health out of it we all perform differently in different situations and circumstances, in one setting someone come off as professional experienced intelligent and insightful, this is like when you see someone at their best doing something they excel at, then compare that to the same person doing something they hate on a bad day accompanied by people who annoy them. That person is going to seem a lot shittier in the second instance.

[Asimiv]

Ah ok, I get it. But also, I personally don't stop being attracted to a person in such cases if I truly like someone. Unless something drastic has happened that would deter me even later on

[Aakash_Hangargi]

This is the difference between how the Men's mind work vs the the women's mind.

You want to discuss jaba jaba jaba...

While men will either directly take action or let it go and deal with consequences even if it destroys them.

While on other hand women think if they feel guilty and cry over enough and repent for the mistake they did they think it's fine after a point to forgive themselves.

They do all the jibber jabber to lessen the guilty and accountability and project that they are really and truly sorry and they regret it.

Ultimately after this process of grieving and making themselves feel better they try to find mistakes search and point out that you screw up again making it a controversy and which would be remotely fitting the situation but happened in way past.

And at the end they come to the mindset that men had initially itself to deal with consequences.

Because they complete this process tgey feel that they are holding more accountability than men do.

[Asimiv]

I don't know what you're talking about becaue this is not at all what I'm talking about. Also, you need to talk things through and apologize (goes for both genders) if you want to show you understand you made a mistake and understand why you did it, because if you don't understand either, then you can't actually learn and do better, not repeat the mistake.

If you want a healthy relationship, you need to talk about things. That's what it means dealing with what you did

[Aakash_Hangargi]

Give some examples of mistakes you are talking about

[BoopBoopBeep]

Depends on the mistake. Blatant disrespect. I'm leaving. You didn't hurt my feelings, I just require a higher class of woman in my life. Sometimes it can be discussed. Maybe you didn't realize how you were being disrespectful. Okay we can talk about that. If it's real clear shite that any adult should understand and you still don't? All the talking in the world isn't going to change that and I'm not going to take the time to fill in where your parents failed.

What kind of mistake are you talking about? Just because it's small to one person doesn't mean it's small to another.

[imtiaz45]

Assigning patterns of making mistakes solely to men or women is an oversimplification, as individuals vary greatly. People of any gender can make errors due to various factors like personal experiences, circumstances, or external influences. Gender does not inherently predispose someone to specific mistakes. However, societal expectations and stereotypes can contribute to perceived differences. It's crucial to recognize and challenge such biases. Everyone, irrespective of gender, learns and grows from mistakes, and understanding each other's perspectives fosters empathy. Instead of generalizations, it's more accurate to focus on individual qualities, experiences, and efforts when considering how people handle and learn from their mistakes.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/yLo1XQNXFOw

[syncheart]

I'm a cleaner and I clean up after 18 Women. If I make a the littlest mistake, they often won't talk to me anymore. It's not a relationship but I always got to watch my ps and qs. and make sure I don't accidentally move anything, or unplug anything. Even accidentally walking into a room where a meeting is happening I can get it for it. That is my only experience with women.

[Asimiv]

Sorry to hear that. Hope you find a better one

[syncheart]

I try not to get my hopes up.

[Anonymous]

It depends on what the mistake is. Some things are universally bad for both, but other things are looked at more harshly for one gender over the other. As far as relationships go both parties need to be willing to communicate and work through problems. People mess up, this is to be expected

[Asimiv]

I agree. Though no mistake should be looked at more harshly for one gender over the other. What are some things you would say fall into this category? Bcs right now, to me it seems like it's all of them 😅

[D_Bone_Steak]

What's the saying..."Women break rules for Alphas and make rules for Betas." Fuck all that Alpha/Beta shit and let's just call it hot or not so hot. Now here is my theory... a chick is with you long enough, figures out your flaws and all that, and you get humanized to her.

So you'll go from God tier status to another one just because she gets to know your flaws. Guys, admit that some of these hawt and damn sexy chicks start to look jacked up and retarded when they open their mouth and speak. With that said, it's much the same for woman I'd imagine. They call it the honeymoon phase for a reason, and there is reasons that phase will end.

[ManOnFire]

I can't say this is true. It actually seems to be that men are more reprimanded for their mistakes, whether early or later. And if a woman blows up at him badly he is typically expected or told to try to be understanding, "she's under a lot of stress," or "what did you do to make her mad?" And when she makes mistakes, we're still expected to go easy on her and try to be understanding.

[Asimiv]

I've never had that experience personally. What I've seen is that men pull away at the sight of the slightest mistake from a woman when it's early on. Later, yes, what you say applies to a lot of relationships, which is sad. People really need to learn how to communicate normally, openly and directly, and own up to their mistakes

[yikesyikesyikes]

Yeah I agree with you and some times they could not even be bothered with talking about it or explaining the situation. But however let a woman screw up it's the end of the world for them. And the end of the relationship.

[Billlewis]

I agree with you wholeheartedly, and I don't think it should be that way.

[Asimiv]

Why do you think that is?

[Billlewis]

Because society is friendlier to men than women.

[YAsQuen]

can't tell if cuck or sarcasm

[Billlewis]

@YAsQuen I'm a cuck, Sir.

[dynamicyandere]

This convo made me lol. 🤣

@Billlewis is ever the polite. ✨

[Billlewis]

@dynamicyandere Thank you very much, Sir.

[Lookingforthetruth]

Simp thinking giving women the answer she wants to hear will net him positive female attention or sex/relationship. When will they learn?

[YAsQuen]

@Lookingforthetruth he has a small dick and gets off by remindig himself that he is useless. He is way beyong simping. Ascended Simp

[curlyfirecracker]

Yep, agree! However, I also do not. 😅Men make those 'mistakes', .. ehh, more learning opportunities, early on... or just had fun and weren't really ready to commit. Women, we are more fully invested and tend to not let things derail us early on... more so looking at the package and judging as a whole. To say men vs women is unfair. That I can stand by.

[Crazyced]

I can't speak from experience because I'm not really a serial dater but I always figured the opposite to be true especially early on. If a guy makes a mistake you can always hop back online and have a bunch of DMs from potential replacements by the next day.

[Asimiv]

It doesn't matter how many DMs we have, most of us don't want easy replacements, we want someone we re genuinely attracted to

[Crazyced]

It will be hard for people with food they don't like to garner sympathy from people with no food.

[HawkPerception]

I'm on the complete opposite end with this. From my experiences and observations, when a guy makes a mistake, the girl usually blows it out of proportion, but when a girl makes a mistake, the guy is usually more forgiving.

[Asimiv]

I agree with that in the later stages of a relationship (not that I do it nor think it's oly, things should be discussed directly and openly, and that's where most people fail), but here I was talking about early on. So while you're beginning to date. Then it seems like it's the total opposite

[glennos89]

I agree 💯 with "Hawk perception". I have experienced that quite a few woman out there have problems looking in the mirror. They sometimes know they are wrong but still try to twists the table around likes it's my fault. They often feel attacked as well when you try to point out their mistakes.

honestly... If I mess up.. you would be the first one to know and I have no problem admitting my flaws.

I miss this same thing in a lot of woman these days...

But there are also woman that are not doing this and who actually look in the mirror at their own actions before blaming others

[Asimiv]

@glennos89 I wish more men were like you 😔

Yeah, I would say I belong to the last category. I made a mistake with the last guy I was seeing bcs I was confused about some things, so he ghosted (at least I assume that's the reason). And first I asked of everything was alright and if I did anything wrong. The irony is, he only replied that we would talk after I've (in a mature an non-accusatory way) called him out on ghosting, but he just ghosted again after that. And when I realized what the mistake was, I apologized for hurting him, and he still won't talk to me. Not that he didn't do any mistakes before made mine, he did, his just didn't lead to hurt (until he ghosted, which hurts af), but mine did.

Maybe I should have formulated my take differently. It's not neccessarily about making mistakes, but making a mistake that hurts the guy, even if it's an honest mistake. As in there's a logical explanation why it happened (not meaning it was okay, just an explanation of how it came about), and it could easily be solved by apologizing, acknowledging the mistake and talking about it, but no. They just run away at the slightest sign of hurt.

I had a similar situation with an ex. Only he did try to talk about it, but we got nowhere bcs he would just start being more spiteful each time we tried and he had to explain his side of the story. (He was conflict avoidant). And I know quite a few women with similar experiences.

Maybe in the end it boils down to a lot of men not being able to acknowledge and process their negative emotions/pain.

[Machette]

It depends on the person. When I was younger, I pretty much knew that I couldn't make a mistake. I lived my life very cautiously. It did suck, but I think it paid off in the long run. I still live pretty cautiously, but I'm a little bit more outgoing than what I was at 20's.

I think it has to do more with how attractive you are. If you're extremely attractive, regardless, you're going to get more leeway. That's my two cents at least.

[libsaretards]

That's the complete opposite of my experience. This has been my experience:

Man making mistake: "Ok. Tell me what is wrong and I will fix" it OR "Ok. I screwed up. Sorry. Let me make it up to you."

Woman making mistake: "Well I wouldn't have done THIS if YOU didn't do THAT! You made me react that way. You do not treat a woman that way. Man up and maybe I wouldn't do (insert whatever)"

[exitseven]

Why then did they make a T shirt like this? I can't be the only one.

[SilverRocket223]

with my experience with my ex long term partner, If I would make a mistake it would turn into a big thing and ultimately make me look like a bad person she would treat me horribly and if I ever tried to talk about it once again its my fault learning to talk about mistake or just things in general in a relationship is one of the best things a couple can do for their longevity