Why does he only look at me when I'm not looking at him?

[Anonymous]

I like this guy so much but I'm super shy around him. So, I cannot say "Hello" or "Goodnight" to him although I'm totally friendly with others. He used to be a lot more friendly towards me but now he talks to me only when necessary (but still nice to me). He never initiates conversation anymore when we're alone. And, he only looks/stares at me only when I'm not looking at him and most of the time, he kind of ignores me. I wish to know what is going on in his mind. He's in his thirty.

[TheStaff_Sergeant]

Well, if you are unable to reply or greet him in return when he speaks to you, then he may be under the assumption that you are, in fact, ignoring him. I mean, seriously, no one wants to repeatedly initiate a conversation with another who does not speak back or, at least, give back a reciprocal sign of interest.

As the other guy said, "he is attracted to you", and he prefers to converse with you more, but you, unknowingly, make it difficult for him to show it, via your lack of response, without giving him the impression that he is being rejected by you.

With that in mind, if you are incapable of speech when he attempts to speaks to you, then smile, wave, and make eye contact. In other words, project positive body language. Your body language, believe or not, can clearly convey whatever is on your mind. Also, check guy out here and there, and allow him to notice you noticing him.

Now, if you really want immediate results, I suggest that you find an effective manner of conveying your shy nature to him, so that he better understands your lack of responses with him.

By the way, when stressed, chew gum. It instantaneously relieves anxiety.

[Asker]

Wow... thank you so much for extremely thorough and helpful answer!!! Actually, I talk back in friendly way whenever he initiated a conversation. My problems are: I cannot start a conversation with him and I cannot start greeting him (he seems to notice it and now he excludes me whenever he greets everyone else). Then, he became a little distant and cold towards me. But, speaking of body language, sometimes he stays away from me but sometimes he gets too close that I could even feel some kind of strange vibe. During those times, I tried to show that I don't mind getting close to him.

Actually, he knows I'm a shy person but yet it seems he's still annoyed (or hurt) by my behaviors.

Really thank you... for your great answer! Please share me if you have any further opinions.

[shyguy1886]

Can I ask who you are?, because when I read this it is like I am the guy here you are talking about.

[goondocks123]

This happened to me but it was a woman I didn't know very well and all the verbal/non verbal signs said she was not comfortable around me so I looked elsewhere even after I tried quite a few times.

By the time she initiated/opened up more I could see she was crushing and really shy but I couldn't start anything so it fell to pieces.

Next time make sure a guy can tell you are shy and he'll persist.

[Sexualchrist]

Maybe you're one of those mythical beings that turns people to stone if they make eye contact with you?
Do you have snakes for hair by any chance?

[Asker]

Well... No :)

But I'll be glad if you can give me any serious answer as I'm kind of desperate :)

[Sexualchrist]

Its probably because you're so shy around him that it makes it awkward to try and have conversations with you.
I'd say if he stares at you that much, he probably finds you attractive just doesn't dare talk to you because the situation weirds him out slightly.
I suggest getting drunk together to break the ice and lose inhibitions. If you're non drinkers then I suggest doing an activity together like sports, something where you are both learning and forced to interact.

[Asker]

Thanks a lot for your answer :) Although I am super shy around him, when he starts a conversation, I talk back to him just like normal friends. It's just hard for me to start from my side. I don't understand why it's becoming hard from his side :( But I'll try to interact with him more.

[shyguy1886]

Who are you if you don't mind me asking? I believe it's me you're writing about, me is hoping anyhow.

[shyguy1886]

Who are you if you don't mind me asking? I believe it's me you're writing about, me is hoping anyhow.