Why do guys do "hit it and quit it"?

[Anonymous]

I spent 4 months getting to know this man. It was a secret because we work together and I'm married. It was fun, lots of sexual tension and we finally had sex. Twice actually. Then poof... he's completely dropped off the face if the earth! Going out if his way to avoid me. I reached out to him to "end it" peacefully and with some class, but he won't respond. I'm told he's a "hit it and quit it" type. Why waste 4 months if that was the overall goal? Is it about sex, the challenge, torture... what?

[lala86]

Perhaps this will be a more diplomatic answer for you:

Did he know the truth during those 4 months regarding your marital status? I think this is a big factor in trying to determine why he did what he did. Perhaps he pursued you due to the fact that he knew it would never go anywhere serious beyond sex or perhaps you do really have great chemistry but with guys a lot of times they don't like to be involved in divorces or potentially "messy" situations and a line had been crossed once it got physical.

Circumstances really play into how two people's futures unfold together. If you were both available and looking for a relationship it would have probably played out differently. He obviously isn't very emotionally mature if he can't give you the time of day for why he walked away like he did. It's easy for everyone to say that you deserved such treatment, but that's not entirely fair. He entered into the situation I'm assuming knowing full well what the deal was, therefore, you still deserve to be treated with humanity.

[Asker]

Yes, he knew the entire time. My divorce is a mutual, non drama decision. We grew apart and are getting a dissolution. No fighting, no money disputes. Its that simple.
I was completely up front about my marriage and where we are with the divorce process.

[Asker]

And thanks for being an adult lala86! Jesus, how old are some of these dumbases? Lol

[lala86]

lol... yes I agree! It may be harder for the younger opinion givers to understand that such situations are not always black and white and plenty of nice, caring people have affairs, but it sounds to me like your marriage was already over.

Do you think he met someone else and lost interest? 4 months seems like a long time to pursue someone, but perhaps he saw you as more of a challenge to him given your circumstances and when he "conquered" he lost interest perhaps. He may have been really hot for you. Remember that men are much more likely to separate "feelings" and "lust" than women are. They can be hot for someone and not care about their feelings, whereas traditionally women engage in a more emotional connection. I'm sorry this happened to you, how long has it been since he disappeared now? Sometimes you have to give men a little time, he might come around with an answer for you.

[Asker]

I could understand the conquest reason. Not to sound high and mighty, but I am attractive. Think Elle McPherson with strawberry blonde hair. I'm tall, thin, educated, make good $, funny, smart... I'm "desirable" to many men. He's cute, younger than me and was drooling after we met. He made comments to others about wanting me to go out after work... I knew he was hot for me. I told him to pipe down in front of others because i didn't want a scandle at work. I liked him, he has been the first man who I've even looked at in 15 years. He told me multiple times I was his type. I was having fun, and so was he. No pressure... I'm still married for gods sake. I really just wonder about the avoiding and what happened there. I'm willing to he friends with him. In my mind and its total immaturity and insecurity. The two encounters we had were awesome... I'm talking crazy awesome. We could barely keep our hands off each other at work, always looking forward to being alone again. Then poof... gone.

[lala86]

It def sounds like he finds you very attractive and was really hot for you. I agree that he is most likely immature enough to comprehend how to deal with it and it's easier for him to walk away than be faced with acting like an adult about it. If the pretense was just fun anyways I would just try to let it go, take it for what it was hot and fun, and you'll obviously fins someone you can have both the chemistry and emotional connection with :)

[Asker]

You rock lala! I'm writing it off as poor judgment, and a lesson in what dating again might be like. Yuck! I'm planning to stock up on sex toys for myself!! O_o

[BuchitaBuchys]

Haha you're dumb. Did you really think he was gonna take you seriously? Most guys don't say "gee, she's married, and she is willing to cheat with me? Wow, she's a keeper! Woman of my dreams! Let me take her seriously."
-____________-
Yea, ok. Next time have some class and masturbate if you were really that horny instead of cheating.

[Anonymous]

Well I don't have an answer to your question but reading these opinions, holy crap, people are relentless like they need to calm the fuck down. Its your life your decisions, like it was almost making me mad, like stop being so fricken judgmental and go away. Sorry but people need to not overreact so much on this site.

[acka72]

You are a married woman who cheats on her husband. In his world you are an untrustworthy hit it and quit it skank. He won't develop feelings for you. He doesn't want a relationship with you and let's face it he has all the right to send you to the hills.

[Asker]

He knows I'm married/getting divorced throughout this 4 month period. He admitted he was "breaking his own rules" about people at work. I think your response is based solely on the fact that I'm technically still married. My question is really more about why spend the time to get to know each other, if all he wanted was sex? He could get it elsewhere most likely.

[acka72]

He got to know you and then realized he just wanted sex. When he got sex he gor bored and moved on. Sorry to break the truth to you but sometimes it's like that and it's for the better. Guys are extremely careful about who they want to trust and even if you want to divorce and not 100% in your marriage, just seeing you cheat, raises the cheat alarm.

[Anonymous]

My reason is quite simple. Funny... because I actually got shamed on the site for asking a question about this and providing my reasoning. Here is my logic:

Over the years, with the women I have tried to get to know and wanted something more with, they would never give me the time of day, friendzone me, or act like I was a nuisance. That happens, I understand.

When I would also go on dates with women, they would always act uninterested during the entire date and seem bored. If that is the case, why the fuck would they agree to go on dates with me in the first place?

Having enough of that kind of garbage, I decided to take women on dates solely to fuck them and leave them. When I go on dates now, my aim is to get women in bed, then never talk to them again. So far it works pretty well, but after having sex, some get emotionally attached now -_-.

[Asker]

Do you spend 4 months on one woman? Covering it up, sneaking around at work... risking your job essentially, just to have sex? I'm not emotionally attached thank god. Just trying to understand this behavior because I'm morbidly fascinated by it!

[Opinion Owner]

If there was a good chance sex was going to happen, I would spend a few months trying, especially if I see the woman constantly.

[Bandit74]

You cheated on your husband and you're complaining that the guy you cheated on him with only wanted you for sex. Un-Fucking-Believable!

[Pedantic]

@Bandit74

Best answer in my opinion.

[Asker]

I left out the part that I'm getting divorced

[Asker]

And you are just making judgment, not answering my question. Why waste 4 months on this? And risk being exposed at work? Just wondering what the motivation for him was.

[Bandit74]

well technically you're not divorced yet so its still cheating, but that is a little better I suppose. Why would he do this? Maybe he wanted to avoid drama, maybe he gets a thrill out of it, if he's the hit it and quit it type then that is what he does. He hits it and then quits it as soon as possible then moves on to the next. Why waste 4 months and risk getting caught? maybe the thrill of the chase. other than that i dont know.

[BuchitaBuchys]

MHO right here. Females these days lol "don't judge me, you don't know what I've been through." Cheating on your husband and complaining he did a hit and quit. Lol fuck outta here. You got your priorities all fucked up @asker

Is it just me, or are people getting stupider?
-_______-

[Asker]

I'm not complaining douchbag! I'm asking why men do it. Period. I could care less about having a "relationship" with this guy. We were having fun. Not looking for another full time man believe me.

[Scorpio909]

For someone who doesn't care you get easily upset about it.

[JSmuve]

End it with some class? Lady... you're fucking married. You have no class left. If you ask me you got what you deserved. If you expected more than that then not only are you classless, but you're a fucking idiot to boot.

[Anonymous]

What did you think he was going to hang around and start drinking beers with your husband on weekends?

[Anonymous]

i think its dominance/alpha male stuff
make himself feel like you left your man for him or that he is better than your (ex) husband so you left that one for this one... I don't know

but anyywas thats part of the reason why im a 20 year old virgin, guy can and will use you like that (some of them not all

[Asker]

Just to be clear, I didn't leave my husband for him! It was a chance meeting that snowballed into a 4 month secret relationship.

[Opinion Owner]

yea you mentioned you were getting divorced lol

[TadCurious]

There is no honor among thieves. There is no class among cheaters.

[Asker]

We work together. I don't need weird drama from someone I have to work with. So yes, I wanted to have an adult conversation to ensure we were both on the same page about it going no further.

[Anonymous]

You're married. It was exciting to chase you, and ultimately nail you, but not exciting enough to risk getting shot in the dick by an angry husband.

You were a fun little fuck, but it's done now. Drop it.

[Asker]

Thank you! Best answer!

[Opinion Owner]

It's exciting to nail a married woman, it's exciting to know she'd rather fuck you than the guy she promised never to cheat on. It's a ego boost, and it's awesome.

Temporarily.

[Asker]

And that makes sense. Thank you.

[Anonymous]

1. The goal was to fuck you and some guys don't care how long it takes. 2. Get divorced before you go out and fuck someone. 3. You're a disrespecting (explicit word here). Get some class and learn to keep your legs closed!

[Asker]

Try being with the same man for 15 years, proceeding with divorce, and meeting a man who you have serious chemistry with! Hard to hold back. And yes, I wish I was already divorced, but it takes a long time to deal with the paperwork involved!

[Opinion Owner]

How long have you been separated?

[Opinion Owner]

BTW, I was married for 24 years and waited until I was divorced, which took 2.5 years, before I started dating and fucking men.

[Opinion Owner]

Men won't respect you if you do things like this when you're still married. Bottom line.

[wanderer425]

It is all about the chase for these guys. That's where the thrill is... literally. every second spent sneaking away amd plotting and planning. That's where they are getting their jollies. Once the deed is done so is the chase.

[the-realest-tigger]

Well personally i stick to my girl and that's it but one of my friends is keeps on telling me his mantra of "f*ck b*tches stick to hoes" but he only says this as he is still scarred by his ex. the same could apply to this guy why have a relationship when you can entertain yourself get bag yourself a "hoe/quick fuck" then move on.

[Asker]

Is 4 months a "quick fuck"?

[lovin_u]

@Asker You're seeing it through a woman's eyes. Yes it was a 'quick fuck' in as much as it happened twice and he's gone!
The 4 months was the chase. It doesn't count as part of the goal. The chase could have lasted a year, but the goal and disappearance would have remained the same.

[Anonymous]

You clearly showed that you have no respect for the man you are married to. Why would this guy think you would treat him any different? Seems pretty obvious to me.

[Asker]

OK... so to your point, if I'm this horrible bitch (which I'm not) then why waste 4 months chasing tail when he could be openly dating or fucking any number of wimen?

[Opinion Owner]

Perhaps it just took that long to sink in that you're a dishonest cheat who's not worth his time.

[rUinSAYAN]

you are married? he not? he fucks you and you keep with your man you've cheated on. congrats

[knotme]

You must be the same one who stated she had sex with an 18 year old, and will you get in trouble

[Asker]

Lol... no he's 36 and I'm 39...2 consenting adults!

[lwilliams99]

he got what he wanted that was sex... there was nothing else to work up to now so he got bored and left

[Anonymous]

You are married and you are mad that a guy hit it and quit it? Sounds like your ego is hurt that a man actually was smart enough to stop messing with a married whore

[Asker]

Seriously? Have you read any of this beyond the first post?

[Opinion Owner]

Yes you are a slut I read your details this is what you typed.
"I spent 4 months getting to know this man. It was a secret because we work together and I'm married."
There is no honor among cheaters. You probably had your ego boosted because you thought he would chase and once he ignited your ass your ego was broken

[Opinion Owner]

*ignored

[Asker]

So if you read on, you'd know I'm in the middle of a divorce, and believe me, my ego is fully in tact. He's the insecure child here. I don't want the hassle of him wigging out because we work together and he's acting like a high school boy. I'm concerned about the level of maturness and our careers.

[Opinion Owner]

Ok joker

[iUnderachieve]

Well.. I read you were getting a divorce. Did the guy know you were getting one also?

No i'm not being a sarcastic douche.

[Asker]

Yes! The entire time he knew. We talked about frequently.

[iUnderachieve]

He probably seen it as a opportunity, especially if you were lacking sex too. That was his green light.

[Splintercell]

He's not a real man, he is a little boy that can't handle responsibity and he is afraid to be a man. This guy makes the rest of us guys look bad.
You should know better than to cheat on you husband. So both of you are in the wrong.

[Anonymous]

So you're married and slept with another guy. Yep, deserve this.

[Shut_Up_And_Marry_Me]

this.

[Asker]

Judging me? ... I'm just looking for info. on why guys do this. Especially with a married, getting divorced, woman you work with. And I'm not crying about it or anything, just intreagued about what is wrong with a 36 yo man investing just to hit it.

[Opinion Owner]

So you just now stating about getting a divorce after everyone called you a cheater? Yeah right and even if that's true the fact that you said this was a secret tells me you knew you were being dishonest. You got what you deserve.

[Asker]

Well I wasn't asking if everyone thought I was a cheater! I was asking why guys act the way they do! And yes, technically I am a cheater, and not proud of it. But that's not the point of my question.

[Opinion Owner]

Yawn. And there, you just answered you own question. You're proud to be a cheater meaning you have no morals just like the guy you got fucked by.

[Asker]

Can you even read? Yawn... you're a moron

[Opinion Owner]

XD Whatever bitch. I'm having fun with this.

[Opinion Owner]

But let me spell something out for you. You weren't but a little sex toy. You got used and played with and you're pretty much a broken piece of garbage now.

[Asker]

Actually, let me spell it out for YOU. It was just the opposite. He was my little play thing... fucked me silly, and he couldn't stop. If i called, he came running. And we didn't have sex but 2 times. I think he started to feel insecure because I'm way out of his league. So he ran away like most of you pussy little bitch boys out there who think you're conquoring the world every time you act like an asshole to a girl who is a quality human being.

[Opinion Owner]

You the quality of a human being? Don't make me laugh. You're nothing more than a cheap fuck and probably not a very good one. Believe whatever you're delusional mind wants. I'm just going to be enjoying the fact that you are a piece of shit.

[Asker]

Ditto

[AdamThomas]

Some guys are desperate enough to wait that long just for sex.

[Tokana]

Its like walking into a candy store and your mom telling you that you can only have one item. Why only have one when you can sample many more?

[bubble_tea]

you are married.. so more of a challenge than a single woman

[Anonymous]

Because your married and he secretly hated you for cheating with him on your husband, so he wanted you to feel what your husband would feel if he knew, guys are closer than women think

[Anonymous]

Because your married

You were used and got what you deserved

[Anonymous]

hahaha shame that's what you get when cheat

[Asker]

So helpful... Read on for more of the atory.

[Opinion Owner]

you just made that part up why not state that in the opening question... cause it's a lie.

[Asker]

Lmao... made what up? That I'm getting divorced? Seriously? Been married for 11 years... and it's over, believe me.

[Opinion Owner]

oh yep LOL

[Asker]

... and the question has to do with male behavior. Not my marital status. Hit it and quit it... what's the motivation there?

[Opinion Owner]

why not say married (getting divorced ) not just I'm married.

[Opinion Owner]

Because he knew you were/are married. Who wants a previously married woman really

[been_waiting]

You're married... what did you expect?

[psykobrahe]

We guys can be pretty patient when we want sex...

[Asker]

My god, I guess. I suppose I should be flattered that he stuck it out for that long if it was just to nail me! Lol

[Anonymous]

Sucks to be your husband.