My crush is not who I thought he was?

[Anonymous]

In class he looks at me, faces me, but never talks to me. I've talked to him a few times but I've initiated the conversation every time.
I first had a crush on him because I thought he was a quiet, funny, thoughtful guy but it turns out he's loud and disrespectful, and funny in a way where he puts people down for humour. He's appeared to change over the past 3 weeks.
Just today he was talking about how another girl was the 'hottest girl in the school'. I don't know if he was trying to make me jealous but he said it right after I walked in.

So basically, I liked this guy, but he's not that person at all, and I feel frustrated and irritated because I let my grades fall a bit because I was too busy thinking about him and seeing if he likes me instead of studying.
I don't know what to do to forget about him? I don't get butterflies any more-I'm just upset... Any ideas?

[Anonymous]

i have had the exact same experience, it actually happened a week ago and i got over it faster than you could say x and usually i am not the type to get over anyone that fast because it took me a while to get over my ex, first listed down all his good and bad qualities and i focused on the bad and basically found out the quality that stands out 'he is an attention seeker he tries too hard', so i realized that he wasn't my type and i should not be putting myself down for someone like him. i personally think that people should eliminate all idiots out of their lives asap so if he likes you he will come up to your face and ask you out because you can't do that right now since you have mixed emotions. if you liked the date then go for it and if you didn't then just avoid him and don't call him back. if he doesn't ask you out then he is nothing but a coward or he is just afraid of what his friends will think of him or he is just not interested so trust me girl i got your back and when i say you are good with out him then you are good with out him.

[harakiri]

that's a crush. you idealize and daydream and hope. and then you get to -really- know them and you get CRUSHED by how far the reality is from what you've dreamt. just let it go... i think you'll forget about him swiftly considering you no longer feel the butterflies or any of that good stuff.

[Asker]

Thank you so much, I guess you're right.

[gracomia5]

He's a jerk. You should really move on and not torture yourself like that.

[vet31bSoldier]

Just move on, he obviously isn't interested in you for whatever reason.

And when he said some other chick was the "hottest girl in school"... chances are he didn't say that to make you jealous/ He said it bc he was thinking it.

[Splintercell]

Move on. Don't stay upset, let this be a learning experience about puppy love. Find a sport or hobby that you enjoy and pursue that. Focus on getting better grades now. Pick up playing a musical instrument.

[Asker]

Thank you, I felt good going to school today, and I think I will join a sports team soon.

[Splintercell]

Awesome! When there is a young man that you are interested in later in life, just remember make a list of characteristics you look for in a real man. Ask you grandma or mother. Does this future guy meet characteristics? Be wise about this. I'm trying to be helpful.

[Asker]

Good idea! I don't want this to happen again, and as you said before I'm going to focus on getting top grades and join a sports team. I'll also make a list of characteristics.
You're VERY helpful! I guess I got a little crazy, because I'm in a new school and there'll always be some sort of crush, but I have to keep my head on straight ;) Thanks for taking your time to answer, it was very thoughtful!

[dartmaul15]

Forget the bastard, and move on. Life's too short to dwell with the wrong people.

[BertMacklinFBI]

man this actually applies here.

The curse of the romantic is a greed for dreams,
an intensity of expectation that, in the end,
diminishes the reality.

credit: @TheoryOfAvarice

[Asker]

Very true