How do I handle a creepy gym guy?

Question

There's this guy at the gym who is constantly staring at me. I'm used to guys glancing and then looking away which is no big deal, but this guy just stares for my entire workout. He'll wink and come workout right by me but he never approaches. I give him dirty looks 😠😬but he can't take a hint. The other night he cat called me in the parking lot, which kind of bothered me because we were the only ones there. 
So guys, how can I get rid of this creep? I don't feel like I can report him to the gym since he's just staring. Should I confront him or will it make it worse?
Sorry for the loooooong explanation!

HandsomeRaj · Accepted Answer

1. For one you can't do anything about him not especially after the ingrained manners that you have (I feel you on that lol)
2. Your 'dirty look' at him probably got misconstrued for your attraction to him or he just likes a woman who's feisty (a lot of such characters do - they like the idea of subduing her, makes them feel in control)
3. Staring too can be a misdemeanor and you can well report it to the gym management and sure you got cameras there so they can check the recording.
4. But strategize it. Since he latches on to you i. e. follows you where you work out, pick on a completely different body part to workout than what he's doing. If he's doing upper body you latch onto lower body so that your workout areas are completely different and he has no reason to follow you.
5. Be random - The moment he comes next to you and starts working out, drop what you are doing and go to opposite end of the gym and pick on something else. This way if he follows you, there's proof in the recording that he's doing nothing but beginning to stalk you.
6. Next time he cat calls you, yell out loud at him REAL LOUD asking him to lay off. But keep your car door open so that you can get in fast if he decides to go one step further
7. After all this if he still persists get the cops and a restraining order. By now you have enough proof and witnesses
8. This character is just the beginning of a stalker, better action now and be safe than sorry :)

Did I surpass length of the question with this opinion, well my apologies too for the looooong answer ;-)

Calvin369 · Accepted Answer

Do you have a gym buddy you can go with? Or maybe you can befriend another girl at the gym... ask her if this creep stares at her too and together you can just laugh at him.

If not then I think it's perfectly fine for you to report him. You pay good money to work out there and the last thing the 'gym' wants is for you to feel uncomfortable at the expense of another member. (Your a valued customer)
'Cat calling' is not acceptable this is inappropriate behaviour for gym members especially when you have made it clear you have no interest.

Fezziwig · Accepted Answer

Something girls will probably understand better than guys with this one is that it really does become a hostile environment when someone gives you unwelcome attention all the time like that. I used to deal with these 2 guys hovering around me making comments, and being the stubborn headstrong person I am, wanted to deal with it myself. So I ignored it and ignored it until one day it got to the point that I was caught somewhere between furious and wanting to run and hide. I made a comment about how I noticed I can do more pullups than they can, so maybe they better do some work? And honestly, it just made it all worse! I think maybe because they knew they had gotten to me? I don't know. But what definitely DID work was a couple quick words from my enormous friend who I brought to the gym with me. Not proud that I needed a man to fight that battle for me, but I never felt even the slightest bit uncomfortable after that. So how about bringing a friend with you? Or made any friends at the gym? I find that the regulars in the more crowded gym I'm at now tend to have each other's backs.

Paris13 · Accepted Answer

When you are inside doing your workout, Bellegirl21, Ignore him and do Not pay him any mind. With this, even a "Dirty face" will keep him coming back for more, maybe even give him a rise in his levis And-----He can't take a hint. Keep your eyes to yourself, just pretend he doesn't exist. If he is not Approaching you in the gym, then chances are he is smart enough enough to know where his boundaries lie.
However, outside the area, he may think he has more reins, so best thing to do, if it was me, is make sure you are accompanied by someone, maybe another friend who is a guy, a few girls, to really give him the 'Hint' That he hasn't a chance in hell here.
Of course, if he should ever carry this further, report him immediately to the police. If he should follow you home, harass you on the street, just anything where you could get a restraining order slapped at his perverted puss.
Good luck, stay safe. xx

mei0313 · Accepted Answer

Talk to him when there are other people. And talk to the manager or someone at the gym. Usually very strong looking men are working there lol so you can let them know about it. Or call police if he escalates -_____- or warn him you will report him to the police.

I would kick his butt 👠👠

Theguyoverthere · Answer

I'd let the management know that his staring is beyond "just a glance" and that it's not the typical checking out. Then tell them the last straw is the cat calling in the parking lot so they know you're not making a big deal out of nothing. Just point him out when he's there so they know to keep an eye on him. Other than that unless he makes an even more blatant approach it's tough to deal with because mosta the staring can be brushed off as just "working out in the same area." Also make sure you're pointing him out to someone management level or beyond. Most typical gym staff I see nowadays don't really care if they're just a desk clerk of some sort.

ImagineRelease · Answer

I like Raj's points myself. And it wouldn't be a bad idea to have a friend get some cell video of him stalking you. Also talk to the gym owners. find out from them what they know of him. He may have been bothering other girls before you got there who knows. Maybe they need just one reason to tell him he's banned without saying who. And from your picture you're easy to admire, seriously. ask the management. You might find he's a total creep or a really cool guy. Bringing it up with management isn't the same is a formal complaint. also get a look at his car, that shows financial level, and if it's clean or cluttered, smoker. Most people that hit the gym don't drive a cluttered hoopty with a full ashtray. Get a brief profile on him and let us know. I don't like creepy but he sure has good taste!

GuyAdviceFromGuy · Answer

Maybe you should talk to him and see if you would like him or not. Who knows, he might be your soulmate. However, if in the first 10 minutes he still gives you the heebee geebees, do the I have a boyfriend drop on him during the convo. "Oh that's cool you go to the Star Trek convention every year and you know how to speak Klingon, my boyfriend and I go to similar things... like Comedy Shows and hard rock cafe" shit like that. If he still doesn't get the hint, find some guy if you don't have a boyfriend to go to the gym with you, and flirt with you guy so that way dude doesn't interrupt. Don't you have a guest pass, come on now.

JustinCaseUDontKnow · Answer

You need to call the police and report him i hate to say to resort to that
but you know "cat called" you which is low form of sexual harassment
is getting ready bad... He is creep for sure he keeps staring at you
you can let the owner of the gym know but what happens if the guy
is well known for coming there they won't want lose business but you
shouldn't be groomed by the guy.. That's exactly what he is doing
i know if i was some place getting harassed in any form i would file
a complaint against them with the police...

jlnjlnoinlk · Answer

I see what you mean. The catcalling is taking it too far. I would confront him and ask him to stop, if he doesn't i would get management involved. As far as the staring, 99.99% of all guys have a hard time checking out girls subtly. he could very well have good intentions but get intimidated, i mean you are beautiful and do all those things to "charm you", which is backfiring. You could also maybe change the days or hours you go to the gym to make it easier if u can. Best of luck. P. S. If my advice doesn't work i could recommend u a former Navy seal as a bodyguard

TeraKira · Answer

I know it's different because I'm a guy but I had a similar gym experience. There was this hulk dude that used to follow me around and try to start conversation, often inappropriate convo. It doesn't sound that bad but if you give off the vibe that you don't want to talk but they persist it gets weird. In the end I told the management who watched through the glass at his creeping. Apparently this wasn't the first time somebody complained and he didn't get to renew his membership. Weirdos just take advantage if you're too nice!

Princess_Zelda · Answer

ughh god... maybe you can get one of your guy friends to be with you? I don't know i'd feel safer that way.

i don't go to the gym but i had to practice in the weight room at school last year for track, and this gross fat ugly creepy guy literally kept staring at my ass... he'd be watching me across the room and then he'd move all his equipment so that it'd be right behind me and just stare, like WHAT THE FUCK MAN. ugh. so fucking nasty. cmon i don't even have an ass. and he kept trying to contact me via social media but i blocked him everywhere. i was a freshman so i was pretty grossed out and scarred ahah

sammy_31 · Answer

Oh girl, I have an easy answer for you, not sure if you have the mean attitude that I have lol I would go up to him and tell him, "TF? You got a problem? Quit staring asshole it's fking weird, I'm not comfortable, I don't appreciate your glances & am not flattered!" I'd curse a lot more tbh, but report him and/or talk to the gym manager. I'd be fed up, I have no chill when I'm mad, like seriously. Looking is one thing, staring is another.

rjroy3 · Answer

Talk to him next time and say, "could you give me some space?".
What you consider a dirty look might not look that way to people who don't already know you. Most guys will leave you alone if you ask them to. He might get his pride hurt and be upset, but the gym is a "safe space". Any guy would step in to help is something happens

Sexydncr · Answer

Go in the weight room with a bunch of regulars (it'd be best if you're friends with some of them). when he stares or follows you turn to him, give him the WTF face and hand gesture and say, "maybe if you weren't stalking me you'd be able to work on those teeny biceps." Say this really loudly and if you're friends with some guys at the gym tell them the situation beforehand so they can handle him if he doesn't back off.

misscoffeehead · Answer

*pulls out baseball bat from the boot of my car* where is he babe? LOL! Ok ok I'm really kidding on that..

I would just full ignore him, I wouldn't even look at him.. I would usually call one of my mates to help me out.. Tell him to come down and "pretend" I'm dating him because some guy is being a creep.. Works everytime.. 🙈

truthbeknown · Answer

Wear unflattering clothes for a while. Try going at different times, if you have a routine going switch it up to lose him. I understand about not wanting to make it worse, but if nothing is working I would inform a staff member. That type of behaviour is basically harassment and if gym management pulled him aside and sternly told him I am sure he would back off. Does this gym have internal surveillance video?

Crazyced · Answer

I would approach him when there's people around and tell him that you'd like him to stop staring at you, that it's seriously off putting.

P. S. The people around is for your safety, not to make a spectacle out of it.

marshallv · Answer

Talk to someone who manages the gym or bring a friend (a guy friend if you have one) you shouldn't have to bring someone with you but I'm not sure what else you could do :(

that kind of behavior is creepy and gross and I'm sorry you have to deal with that.

GKIzCrayCray · Answer

That guy sounds like a douche canoe. Just tell him that you're not comfortable with the way he always stares at you and winks. Also tell him that the cat calling is offensive and inappropriate and needs to stop. Do it when people are around though so you aren't an a potentially dangerous situation. If it doesn't stop, file a sexual harassment complaint with the manager.

Anonymous · Answer

get a t-shirt and print a message on it: "i just wanna work out" or something like that. And don't pay attention to his stares. Just mind your business.

The fact that you've responded to his goodbye. No worries. if he tries more than that next time and asks you something, simply say you don't have time. Saluting is fine, just make sure you don't respond to his questions. He will get the message. Hopefully.

ButtHearth · Answer

Oh no, you mean he actually had the nerve to hit on you when there were no other big strong males around to protect you? How dare he? He's pretty much the equivalent of a rapist and should be castrated and locked away for life. Men who have the nerve to stare at and talk to women should not be allowed to reproduce and feel the loving touch of a goddess such as yourself. They are vile monsters for making angels like you feel uncomfortable in what is typically already a male dominated space. I mean, it's not like there are tons of women only gyms out there... Oh wait...

NovemberJoseph · Answer

Lol at the update. Well it appears you got enough help already. That's good, cause the gym is usually where I go to get away from problems, not face them. Plus you gotta focus on the gains ;)

TaureanBull81 · Answer

What an uncomfortable situation to be put in @BelleGirl21. There's nothing worse having a creep doing this to you at your local gym!!! I'd approach him first and sternly say that does he have a problem because you're feeling uncomfortable with the way he's looking at you. If the guy doesn't heed your warning, definitely speak to the gym management!!

CommieDearest · Answer

If he cat called you it's not just staring.  I say go ahead and confront him. If it makes it worse, he'll probably get in trouble with the gym. Win/win

Anonymous · Answer

If he's cat-calling you and making you uncomfortable, you either approach and tell him so. Or you tell the gym management about him making these uncomfortable stares and comments towards you. Giving him looks right back isn't going to do anything major. You have to tell people straight up when you have something to say, rather than trying to convey it through some sort of "look" or scowl.

Diego9O · Answer

You can report that to the gyn manager, you´re a client from that gym and as a client you have the right to do that or you can go to a gym that just aloud womens 24/7 or.. You can report his behavior to the police, um um um don´t stay quiet about that if he is really freeking you out.

MindYourEyes · Answer

Pump up the iron and look super angry! Arrgggghhh! Like your going to rip his balls off! Haha jk. Might turn him on. Hmm.. If say ignore but if he does approach you then let him know straight up

crazyincalifornia · Answer

Yeah some guys are too stupid to take a hint. I am really good at ignoring and sending some offense body language. Once I pretended to talk on my cell phone how my STD s are acting up again. XDD

ReneDS · Answer

take friends over, or get your husband over, let him have a word with him, or join a different gym, or dont go to a gym at all, gym at home, i dont think a gym is a good place for woman anyway, the biggest idiots you sometimes can imagine go there

DanteSparda · Answer

Heyy, it's good to see you back here :)

Well you should directly tell him about it because if you won't then he'll continue to do what he is doing right now.

Take the charge of the situation, that's all.
Good luck

Roycaryn · Answer

Just bring any guy you trust enough to put this guy back "in his place" so to speak and have them confront him. Preferably someone he's never seen before and someone who should be close to you, like a brother or a cousin.

BertMacklinFBI · Answer

let him walk by and stare at you as you're kicking the shit out of your sparring partner in the yoga room. total domination!

arashmenalagha · Answer

Hahah that's funny. You're fucked now. Just ignore him, and don't try to talk to him like everyone is suggesting you to do here.  That's fucking weird.

-Zoe- · Answer

If I were you, I will just ignore him as if he is not on my sight...
I think looking back at him (dirty look or whatever look) or confronting him will just trigger more since he got the slightest attention from the girl he likes..

Kris85 · Answer

I would purposely embarrass him in front of everyone at the gym so they all know what a creeper he is. And if you have any guy friends at the gym, let them know so they can "deal" with him if needed.

Inamulhaq · Answer

hey jus ignore him... if u report about him to the gym owner then he will think that his staring worked for him jus dont look at him and behave like u are not seeing him that he is staring at u

JackKerouac77 · Answer

Why not just take your husband to the gym for the next week? And give each other pecks between workouts? Won't that give him a good hint? Do you wear your ring when working out?

miserybusiness · Answer

"Sorry but you're making me uncomfortable." Tell him straight up.  If he continues, report it.  Worse case scenario, switch gyms

Anonymous · Answer

say this exactly the next time he comes up to you " ten feet back buddy... im not interested," and stop it with the dirty looks that sounds too highschoolish. just ignore the shit out of him and everytime he tries to approach you just walk away

MrAbbs · Answer

It isn't that he can't take a hint. He simply won't. Gym owners commonly know how to deal with such people.

Crossroads-USMC · Answer

Change your schedule. You can't get away from Creepy Gym Guy. And, more importantly, you can't concentrate and get a good work out in.

SurströmmingLover · Answer

Tell him to approach you because you have something important to tell him and then kick him in the nuts

PhiOmega · Answer

I understand ur pain, i used to have some guy that stared at me  It sounds funny  ... but im srs

cavmanier · Answer

I'm pretty sure @Ihav2fart would take him out for you 😐

Arthurred · Answer

What makes him creepy is it because your not attracted to him or is it because he comes on to strong or perhaps the staring.. You need to be a little more specific.

rose101 · Answer

Don't try to avoid him, instead, face him. It's always good to just confront it. He might just looking for an attention.

kittykatbrat · Answer

Talk to him directly about ALL of the above in public @ the gym. If nothings changes, take it up with management.

cuteguy22 · Answer

the only way is to sleep with him!! its like kiss a toed who turn into a prince :)  concur your fear of being alone with him and the fear getting a ill from it.

Tokana · Answer

Walk up behind him and throw cuffs on him, then drag him to the locker room and have your way with him.

SocialWhey · Answer

You guys think that's the problem? I can't go to the gym without women looking at my an objectifying me! We're people no sexual objects. Jk you should let him have a warning and if he continues, let the staff know Lol

SatanClaus · Answer

Confornt him frst and if he's still doing shit, Use the dumbbells to smack him oh the face.

meatballs21 · Answer

Report it to the gym. I don't know about yours, but my gym has a list of rules and etiquette, and behaviour like that is a definite violation.

msg812 · Answer

oh how can he bother you, i just wanted to shrink this idiot to 1inch tall and squish him like a bug in front of your eyes, mrs powerful.

Rogue2 · Answer

I'd say just confront him about it in the nicest way possible. If it persists, best to report him. Better safe than sorry :/

Ihav2fart · Answer

It isn't gonna stop until you confront him about it.

p0rtis26 · Answer

I would fart in his presence.

medical2523 · Answer

Ad that's the reason I'm afraid to look at women when I'm at the gym I just put my ear buds in and zone everything else out

Klaatu51 · Answer

point him the middle finger ;-)

MakeitOrDieTrying · Answer

Is he black? No racial, srs question I'm just curious. I just can't imagine an Asian guy doing this.

Iron_Man · Answer

Talk to your husband about him and have him come into the gym and deal with the guy

Anonymous · Answer

Tell him that your boyfriend lifts twice as much as him

dudeman · Answer

You do nothing because he has done nothing. At this point doing anything makes you look crazy

amphet11 · Answer

Confront him, as you can't really get anybody involved for him just staring at you.

GoldCobra · Answer

How exactly did he cat call you? Did he just whistle or did he say anything?

How do I handle a creepy gym guy?

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