Guys, why are you intimidated of a woman just because of her looks?

[MysteriousChick93]

Many guys I've known seem to put attractive women on a pedestal but I have not known that to be the case for women towards good looking men. Men seem to think of she is decent looking, an not confident. Oh she is stuck up or very aloof an rude.

Some good looking women have a hard time finding love. Jerks are only out to use her and ditch her. An the nice men are too afraid to ask her out or talk to her even.

I don't think of myself as hot or attractive. Very unconfident. But many guys have said I am attractive an one time when I went to a bar an met a few of my girl mates guy friends they was all gazing then all clammed up around me.

One guy weeks after seeing me out messaged me an said he didn't talk to me cus he was nervous as he thought I was pretty. I didn't get it though like we all human so what does it matter. I am shy so it does me no favours as I obviously would come across badly to the likes of this guy an any other who fancies me.

This one guys hand shakes when he serves me an he is extra nice when I would prefer him to say a joke an relax not consider me in high regard when I don't think or act that way.

I have dated hot, average and really not so hot guys as personality usually does it with me an I just have to like something about someone like smile , eyes an I will be attracted to them enough to date them.

An I get advice from guys like you approach them but I am shy too so I am screwed. Rejection sucks we all been there but if nobody goes for it nothing happens for me 😭

Guy on here was even shocked he got a date which shows he's a nice guy but not confident in himself. We all deserve love I just wish guys would give themselves a break an I realise how much harder it is to be a guy in the dating game

This site is really interesting :https://www.themodernman.com/dating/intimidated-by-beautiful-women.html

[That-Guy]

I can help you understand why men are often intimidated in the begging vs a women.

Women can see an attractive man which gives them, lets say the initial attraction level of 5/10. Then given his interaction that level can either rise or diminish very quickly as we all know women connect on an emotionally level.

Men however can see an equally attractive female and his initial level will be at a 9/10. Already men (who we know are more responsive to visual stimulation) are on edge and throughout the interaction, the women has to have an abortion on the spot to break diminish her value to the guy.

I'm being very exaggerated to try to prove my point but think about when you've had a crush and the initial feeling you get when you see him enter a room. Men can have the same anxiety that you're experiencing however w/o the work up and interaction that women have built up to (i hope that made sense).

So in my opinion, women aren't as worked up as men are when meeting and for the most part, women have had more practice with this as they like you've pointed out, are approached by all sorts. She's had more experience in the dating and the situation as a whole is more comfortable.

An attractive girl in her 3 months will probably have had more "dating" encounters and opportunities than i will in my life time. I believe i represent the average guy in this observation.

[MysteriousChick93]

Yeah I agree with you an understand that so men find it tougher in dating

[MysteriousChick93]

Wow I read it again I totally get how hard it is now for guys :/

[That-Guy]

Boy i should proof read what i write. Pretty confusing stuff, i am glad you got through it.

[MysteriousChick93]

Was bit confusing but hey don't worry lol

[MrInteresting]

I would also like to add that women are enhanced by make-up and can (especially in bars / clubs) wear outfits that show off their figure and body more so that will also add to the visual stimulation a man gets from the woman. I read this somewhere when a woman said she hardly found that many men attractive visually, she said 10% were visually attractive to her and also if you remember a lot of the no make-up selfies women were posting on Facebook about 3-4 years ago, a lot on mine were dramatically less attractive without make-up, ones on mine that are really beautiful with it.

[LogicBomber]

Nice guys are intimidated by beautiful women because history has told them that a female can crush your soul with her rejection, and because attractive females hold the power of attraction, they are the ones who have complete control. They are able to pick and choose who they want around them and who they don't, this is why scum bags are often seen with attractive girls, they don't care about her rejection, they are so self indulgent that they believe they are deserving of her and that she is privileged to be with him. Nice guys don't believe they are worthy and because men don't hold the sexual power to choose how, when, and where like women do, it is not as easy to approach with confidence.

If that makes sense?

[MysteriousChick93]

Totally with you in that. Absolutely true jerks don't care nice guys do. Women must enjoy challenge of jerks as they really don't care but they must try make them but it never happens I learnt from my past an definitely want a nice sweet guy

[LogicBomber]

Until women start approaching the quite nice guys, they will never find a good one. Good ones will not come to you, you have to go to them.

[MysteriousChick93]

Oh really does that go for all women? 😣

[LogicBomber]

I am sure there are exceptions, but on average the guys who approach cocky and confident are the ones we both agree were typically the ones women complained about. The quite nice guys seldom approach unless they are given a green light somehow.

[MysteriousChick93]

Yeah I see lol

[LogicBomber]

Thanks for MH

[MysteriousChick93]

No problem :)

[parkway]

I am one of the guys who will look past a beautiful woman because often she has a lot of problems. Most will attract a lot of trash to begin with and then there is so many who have not developed properly when it comes to communicating. Then it is just hard being around them. The plain Jane has seem to have more to offer and there is more safety in being in a relationship with them. I was married for a short time to a average attractive woman who I met in Brazil, brought her back to the USA and she was a 10 here. Most of the guys acted like they never saw a woman before then there were the women coming out of the woodwork to hit on her. In Brazil she was average. We just wanted to be able to go out and me not have to be by her side at all moments.

I know if you were to leave your country and travel to a different part of the world the boys will fly to you. The issue is location and how rare you are. Your local boys don't want to risk or think you are hot enough to risk another - get loss by a beauty.

[MysteriousChick93]

How do you mean rare lol I live UK 😁

[parkway]

You are British, which means if you come to the USA or go to Germany, the guys would be all over you and quality of guys would be higher due to your speach difference. This is what I mean by rare.

[MysteriousChick93]

Oh I see what you mean lol :) I remember meeting guys from USA after a night out in UK in my city. An he was so taken by me an said I am type he would take home to his parents. An he got what type of girl I was after half hour of knowing me. An kept complimenting me lol. I felt like he was so different to any other guys in UK :(

[Watermelonoma]

tbh i was reading some of that link and honestly, a girl who acts cold like that is automatically a girl who places too much value in herself above others. I don't really believe that you need to be cold to test a mans confidence. Being cold to someone who doesn't deserve it is interpreted in my head as bitchiness honestly, or disinterest. Either way, its usually kind of a turn off for me. I consider myself a decent guy, and there are many decent women who really don't act cold like that when you approach them, so a lot of these hot women who do this are competing with a lot of other good women who are more approachable. if they end up without love due to being cold to all the guys, they only have themselves to blame in my opinion

Now when it comes to being intimidated, well guys are just afraid of being humiliated. its not really a good feeling, so a guy would rather not act on his impulse.

[MysteriousChick93]

By posting the link not saying I agree I said I found it interesting. I don't think women should be cold to see if a man will try harder as some are sensitive an shy an will assume oh she isn't into me etc. -an yeah none of us like rejection I guess an I get that. We all experienced it at some point so it's a fear.

[Remonster]

People judge. And when someone *looks* intimidating we automatically assume that person has an aggressive character. This is dead wrong. Some of the most intimidating men I've met were real sweethearts when I got to know them. Unfortunately I have little experience with women about this phenomenon, but I can't imagine it doesn't work in much the same way.

[MysteriousChick93]

Yeah I have quite a serious face an I think people assume I am unfriendly or even dull but it is my resting face an can't help it

[mistninja314]

i1127.photobucket.com/.../...f.com-gif-maker_3.gif "Guys, why are you intimidated of a woman just because of her looks?" You can quote me on this shit.

No girl on this earth can intimidate me via her looks because guess what? I know I have the looks also ( So the playing field is even in my mind), so if she thinks that she is above my league or whatever you want to call it. Either 1 of the 2 things are going to happen.
A. I'm going to jump up into her league
B. I'm going to bring her ass down into mine somehow

Either way works for me. Heck unlike most men I actually enjoy talking to those legit rated 7-9+ girls. Since the ones that I run into are usually down to earth, fun to hang around and they're packing plenty of eye <3

Hope I answered your question without too much #rambling as usual

[mistninja314]

plenty of eye candy *

[MysteriousChick93]

Ok lol you say to me you think your ugly yet your full of confidence answering questions mist haha

[mistninja314]

Yeah, I like playing ignorant to my looks because not only is it fun. At least then most people will not judge me off a preconceived notion before they actually know anything about me to begin with -_-.

I can't tell you how many times I've had a girl say "OMG I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO BE 1 OF THOSE GUYS WHO'RE FULL OF THEMSELVES DOMINQUE" #facepalm-_- Yeah I had to scream because that shit gets so fucking annoying. It can also deter future GFs from messing with you because they'll think that you're out of their so called DUMB league (I've had that said to me at least 16 times -_-).

When I don't even think that way about them. I mean if ___ wants to date me (GF-BF relationship) then I'll give them a chance LOL.

Some girls will flat out get intimidated by me also (which is funny because I can tell right of the bat that hey're), if and when they're even a little bit attracted to me. Because they think OMG he wouldn't talk to me... when in reality I would happily if I had a reason 2.

[mistninja314]

Overall when you're attractive and you know that you're... there's nothing good about it LOL. Basically either play ugly or get ready for a pack of fucking haters LOLOLOL

I could go on and on about this topic, but Imma just say this "that is why I just play ugly now" #WorksBetterThatWay and #MoreGirlsWillLikeYou *shrugs*

[MysteriousChick93]

Lol ok haha. Will try that then

[hypno-trip]

I built my confidence over the years so I'm not intimated by girls any more even if they're beautiful. I know I have to aim within my league but that doesn'tt mean I find them intimidating. The only girls that intimidate me are the really buff athletic ones who are ultra tomboyish.

[MysteriousChick93]

Yeah that's great :) that's how it should be. Nobody should be put on a pedestal we are all human. An oh really how come?

[hypno-trip]

I'm not athletic or wild I would not be able to handle them. Our hobbies would just be too different...

[MysteriousChick93]

Oh I see what you mean

[Blondiee2014]

Ummm it's hard to explain. I don't get it often but sometimes there is a certain girl that really makes me feel flustered by there looks. They are just so pretty that I can't even look at her. 😳

[MysteriousChick93]

Aw you haha yeah I see :)

[aficionado]

Couldn't agree with you more. As an average looking man myself, I have stopped even considering the really attractive women years ago, because of my belief that such women would be taken already, or they're way above my league so would reject me anyway. Believe me, getting rejected by an attractive person is much more humiliating and insulting than getting rejected by an average looking person.

Just my opinion.

[MysteriousChick93]

Aw yeah I understand that totally.

[KidanisCortes]

Well one to be honest you're wrong on o. e aspect men are not afraid of hit girls they just dont bother because.
A. They think they dont have a chance so why bother.
B. The girl thinks she's hot but she really isn't (sometimes)
C. hot girls attract much attention and guy who are like me and dont look good think she will just ditch for the next hot guy

[Mikebr25]

Never happened.. I'm the same with every woman...
I was raised by beautiful women... Women that I watched move men like chess pieces... But women that made their children capable of blocking that influence..
Sometimes beautiful women get offended.. They expect to be treated better... Makes me giggle..
there will always be another more beautiful person...

[MysteriousChick93]

Yeah always someone more beautiful then the other. To me looks aren't everything . Love is based on much more then that. Thanks for answering

[theWire]

From my perspective, you might be confusing beautiful women with scantily dressed/heavily made-up women.
Basically, when you wear a lot of make-up or a very revealing dress, you're saying "I am a very hot woman. This is my appearance. Gaze on my luscious form and don't think about what I have in my brain that actually matters".
And then you wonder. We're not intimidated, we're focused on something else. And, since we don't know you at all, we're scared that we will act on the very sexual thoughts it evokes. Or, if you're not attractive and still heavily made-up, we're repulsed and it really is an exercise of willpower to keep talking to you.

If an unbelievably stunning, incredible bombshell of a woman wore very little make-up (or non-invasive varieties), at least the first time meeting someone, most guys would feel it very easy and even endearing to look past her appearance, and to the fun that lies within.

Hope I helped! :)

[MysteriousChick93]

Ok I don't think it is l based on make up to be honest. I think heavy make up is intimidating but not all wear it so yeah. With or without make up a guy will look at her appearance as they are visual by nature.

[theWire]

Make up was just an example anyway.
Half of it comes down to how much the woman thinks her beauty defines her. If her physical beauty is all she wants guys to see, then that's all guys will see, and she'll be treated accordingly. If she wants guys to see something that is a little deeper inside her soul, it'll show (even subconsciously) and she might start to notice a change. So, half of it is the personal development of the woman.

It takes two to make a couple, though; the other half of it lies in the personal development of the guys. Most of us guys simply don't have the skill it takes to take off the rose petal lens when looking at a very beautiful girl. It might be because the guy in question is not used to it, or was caught unaware, or was in the middle of an arousing train of thought when you "pop" in and peak his arousal even more. Who knows.
As a general rule, though, guys that are afraid to approach you when you're doing everything you can to be approached don't deserve you.

[MysteriousChick93]

Guys are visual so they will see what they like regardless of whether she thinks her looks define her. An I don't believe a guy who don't approach doesn't deserve her as if he's shy or been shot down his confidence isn't quite there not his fault

[theWire]

Yeah. If a guy has been shot down/is shy, it's usually not his fault. The problem is, most times a guy that has been shot down is not yet ready to enter a relationship, because the confidence he needs to find needs to come from within himself; otherwise he'd be dependent on the person who drew him out of his shell in the first place, and that is definitely unhealthy. in my opinion, you should strive to be independent before you can even think about entering an interdependent relationship, which is a construct that needs two columns, rather than one, to be sustained upon. Again, it might be just me.

[MysteriousChick93]

Yeah I agree but sometimes after a push an the certainty of knowing a girl is interested is enough for a guy to man up I think then he should be fine in terms of relationship unless he is really damaged

[theWire]

If he does "man up", then he doesn't have the problem you're complaining about in the first place though

[MysteriousChick93]

Man up after he finds out she's interested as initially that is what he is afraid of her rejecting? So if she lets him know she is into him an he then feels at ease an not so unconfident also I am not complaining just trying to understand guys thanks anyway for opinion