I joked about his size and he got angry and then insulted my breast size was he serious or just upset?

Question

BlackFox77 · Accepted Answer

NEVER Joke about a man's penis size, that's like if a guy were to call you a fat ass or loose vagina or insult you in the meanest way you can think of. even if a man is well endowed if he hears a woman insult his penis especially if he recently slept with her it really affects him even if he doesn't show it and it really will cause issues between you. You know those quotes on fb that say " never insult a woman because she won't forget it, calling her names really gets to her" yeah well that stuff applies to men as well. Insulting his penis like that is basically like calling him a puppy among dogs. men generally are more self conscious then you would think. You seem to not notice that whether or not it was a joke it was pretty harsh and you seem more concerned about his retaliation of insulting you. I'm sure he didn't mean to call you a bitch but considering you said that in front of several people and he was laughed at he must have been quite humiliated. i'm sure he admires your feats, but whether it was hidden truth or a joke an insult is an insult. A mans penis is attached to his pride sort to speak, insulting his size can fuck with him mentally later or and make him question if he's really good or not, make him a tad resentful of people more well endowed sometimes and effect him in bed as well. You say it wasn't called for that he insulted your breast size but think it not to be a big deal that you just made a joke about his penis that is called a double standard and is actually a tad hypocritical. I'm sure an apology from both of you will suffice, just make sure to think about the joke before you say it.

looneymalooney · Accepted Answer

Him:"i'm awesome!"
You: "you must do smth right!"*wink, wink*
The end. Everyone happy!

But why do that when you can ruin everything?
Him: "i'm awesome!"
You: "Neah, I'm actually surprised we lasted this long, cause you have a pinky toe for a penis".

What planet do you live on woman?
Expect this relationship to fail. I tell you that. You may apologize in whatever way. He will not get over this. Actually, this might follow him into the next relationship he'll have and become an insecure jerk. Well done. *applauds*

LightsOff · Accepted Answer

He should have tried to shrug it off but I completely understand his reaction. Obviously he feels self-conscious about his size (or at least he does now, if he didn't before). Would if have felt good for you if the situation was reversed? Like, if your friends were the ones telling him that he's in a longer relationship than usual, and he said "I'm surprised too, considering that she's got literally no boobs at all"? I'm pretty sure that you wouldn't have taken it as a joke and that it would have hurt you. Especially since you already feel bad about your boobs. His insult wasn't worse, you were both on equal levels. And since you were the one that started it, that pretty much makes you the asshole here. It's one thing to play-fight or to have some harmless banter with your partner, but actual insults that are supposed to be "just a joke"? Yeah no, that's where most people draw the line. Most people would consider that to be some backstabbing, passive-aggressive bullshit.

Go to him, admit that it was totally out of line for you to say something like that, that you really didn't mean it and that you hope he can forgive you. Besides that, there's not much you can do really. But don't expect him to let you off the hook easily. If my boyfriend insulted me like that in front of my friends (even if he meant it as a "joke") I would seriously consider breaking up with him. Not only is that humiliating, but also a really low blow. Insulting. Disrespectful.

theccanyon · Accepted Answer

Oh Lord. You did this in front of a group of his (and your) friends, too? That's why he reacted so strongly. It wasn't even about his size - it was about how you shamed and embarrassed him in front of HIS FRIENDS.

If you want to see whose reaction was right or wrong, reverse the situation. If he had been joking in front of YOUR friends and said "I don't know why i stay because she's flat chested" and you responded with "you're a small dick asshole" then stormed out to the sound of your friends laughing at you, and he thought, "I was just joking but she was mean on purpose!" What do you see?

I see two people who were wrong. But I only see one person who thought it would be funny to humiliate the one they love in public.

Creole_Flavor · Accepted Answer

So what you said is a joke and what he said in response is an insult. Anything you say about a man's penis that is not a compliment is considered an insult it's never a joke. You can't feel as insulted as he did about him calling you flat-chested because that is probably obvious unlike his penis which nobody knows the size unless it is revealed. Take this as a learning lesson yes guys are sensitive about their wiener. You were wrong and his reaction was caused by your wrong doing did you expect him to just sit there in front of people while you joke about his manhood? They would have made fun of him for that. Not sure how you can fix this it seems that you don't respect him and you lack common sense.

loveisbeautiful · Accepted Answer

Just because he's quote "well endowed", doesn't mean that your joke wasn't hurtful. Why would you joke about that anyway? that's hitting below the belt (no pun intended). I don't believe if one person hurts you, you should hurt them back. But, you said something that didn't need be said under the intention of "joke". And, you did it in front of his friends so he decided to hurt you back. Whether it was right or wrong, you did open that can of worms. Since neither of you can put the worms back. Just talk it out and apologize for what was said and never do that again. It's simple.

aniemist · Answer

Well from an outside perspective I think you both did something you shouldn't have done. Perhaps there was no malice in your words but guys can be sensitive about that kinda of thing especially if since you said it in front of a bunch of people and embarrassed him, some people can laugh stuff like that off and it doesn't affect them but some people might be worried about it even when they are well endowed so they take it more seriously so you could have perhaps walked on a landmine in that situation.

On the other hand I think he was trying to make you feel bad about your bust size and calling you a bitch because you made him feel bad about about his endowment. In my eyes it was a childish move, and he was lashing out letting his temper get the better of him, and he shouldn't have done it either.

That's why both of you are at fault in my view, words can hurt whether you mean them to or not. You guys can fix this very simply, though in this case you will have to take the first step, just tell him you are sorry about the remark about his endowment, let him know that you didn't mean for it to hurt him, let him know what he said hurt you as well and at that point if he isn't a tool hopefully he will give you an apology as well.

If you guys love each other this should be something simple and hopefully this works for you. Good luck!

DeltaDanner · Answer

He was pissed, and rightfully so. You crossed a line that should NEVER be crossed. Joking about a man's size is playing on a BIG insecurity most, if not all, guys have. What you did was extremely hurtful, especially coming from someone he cares for. The fact that you did it in front of a crowd only makes it worse. Even as a joke it's still hurtful and embarrassing. You didn't just injure him, you stabbed him repeatedly and rubbed salt on the wound. You need to apologize and pray he doesn't break up with you before you start playing the victim. You are obviously in the wrong and should apologize first.
You attacked, he just reacted.

MadeInAmerica · Answer

If you haven't been on GAG long enough or just around men in general you can call us any name in the book, kick dirt on us but insinuating someone has a small dick in front a crowd of friends is going to be hurtful. You flat out embarrassed him and he acted poorly but it was reasonable. You hurt him so he hurted you back. Now you should be the bigger person and apologizes and he will do the same.

AleDeEurope · Answer

You have to understand that saying a guy that he has a small penis is like saying to a woman that she's fat. You don't tell a woman she's fat, you don't tell a man he's small, especially if it's around other people, not even as a joke.
I doubt he would have gotten angry if it was something you joked about it private, but around friends... no, that was wrong to do.
But he also was wrong to call you a bitch and complain about your chest, two wrongs don't make a right.

You both were wrong, and to fix that just go up to him and apologize. Why you? Because you were the one to start this. Swallow your ego and apologize, but let him know that his comment hurt you too, and if he's a decent man he'll apologize for what he said.

Xelebrum · Answer

It doesn't matter if a guy is well endowed or not, you NEVER joke about his dick. ESPECIALLY in front of others.

x_Pretty_x · Answer

Ouch!!! Bad move. Men are super sensative in that area. Even tho he is well endowed it doesn't change the fact that other people now think he's tiny. Men don't take that as a joke.. EVER!!! not sure what to tell you but some serious ass kissing is needed. However you need to tell him how you really feel. That it was a joke and that u think he is really big. And some extra advice... comment how big he is and how well he uses it I'm public. Im sure he will love u for it. Guys loves compliments too. Good luck :)

JSmuve · Answer

*facepalm* Arrrgggg how can you not see this!!! Let me spell it out for you.

You implied he has a small penis in front of a lot of people who don't know his dick size. Ergo, now I bunch of people think he has a small dick. You might think you're joking but no one else does. They thought you were serious.

Now you're trying to spin this to make yourself look like the victim by saying his insult was worse. It wasn't. It wasn't any better though. But you definitely started it.

FakeName123 · Answer

What I find even more offputting is how many of the girls here don't seem to realise what that even means and are actually completely oblivious to guys having insecurities about their looks.

OP pretty much humiliates her boyfriends manhood infront of people about one of the 3-4 bodyparts men are often insecure about. Just imagine in comparision, if your boyfriend would tell that you are fat infront of people - even if you are visibly not. This is disrespectful and hurtful to the max. The only way you could have done it worse is by saying his dick also smells rotten.

So here to write down for all the oblivious girls: You all have physical insecurities about whatever part of your body. Imagine all those insecurities combined and you realise how sensitive and insecure almost all guys are about their manhood. This includes size, circumference, smell, how long he lasts and his sexual performance.

Riggers · Answer

Saying a guy has a small dick is like calling a girl a fat ugly fucker.

That shit SERIOUSLY fucking hurts.
Your insult was x50000 then his, and now you are trying to turn it around to make yourself look the victim, but you SERIOUSLY humiliated him.

Crapulux · Answer

> Are guys that sensitive about there wiener.

Nope, not really, unless they have secret tiny dicks or other insecurities.

> It's odd he got upset

LOOOOOL

Well, you broke a very important unspoken rule in an insulting way, so I presume you must either have low social skills, low IQ, or not care about how he feels at all.

I'm not surprised by the way he reacted, although he was a bit impulsive, but that's understandable. Your reaction is just priceless, as the only thing you focus on is your offended feelings. MUH FEELINGS!!! SO BUTTTHURT!!!

But he lacks self-control. It would have been more appropriate (and a lot more fun) to make you burst into tears.

If you're unprepared to deal with the backlash, why do you insult people?

Izzex3 · Answer

Wow.
That was entirely you're fault.
You should apologize and explain yourself.
I don't see how embarrassing him and telling everyone that he has a small penis (even if he doesn't) is funny.
You shouldn't have "joked" about that especially in front of others.

peachblossomluck · Answer

Guys have this super sensitivity about their penis size. It causes some of them to have psychological issues. Even if he is well endowed he secretly worries that it's too small. I was with a guy once who was completely obsessed with it and he was good sized. Apologize and agree that neither of you will makes jokes about this body size thing again.

front2back · Answer

No wonder your previous relationships didn't last as long.

It doesn't matter if it's a joke or not, it's still insulting. I'm sure no woman would be okay if her boyfriend said she had a loose vagina in front of his friends, even if it was a joke. You can't just insult people and hide behind "I was joking".

lightbulb27 · Answer

You are at fault, he's at fault some. drunk?

here's the answer... stop drinking, it makes you stupid causing you to hurt others feelings. That applies whether you were drunk or not.

as well, figure out why you insulted him and felt ok with it. You need to make a change that says it's ok to demean him. Apparently you don't like being demeaned either.

here's a woman's job.."respect your man". Yea... I know, it's hard sometimes, that's your job.

The man's job is to love the woman.

You'd better both learn that... sooner the better.

Pay me consulting fee and I'll fix the rest, otherwise don't create messes and ask people to fix the drama you create for free. Do you go to your auto mechanic and say "hey... fix my engine for free, I didn't put oil in it and it doesn't run"?

I doubt you will even show thanks to anyone that helps you. You need to grow up...

Sinister · Answer

The very act of you embarrassing your boyfriend about very intimate knowledge that shouldn't be for others to know and then turn around to act like a victim after his reaction goes to show much you really care about that person.

stepyo99 · Answer

lmao of course he was angry. You didn't like it when he called you a bitch and made fun of your chest size, why the hell would you think he'd appreciate you making fun of his dick size?

Jesus, women are just completely incapable of any self-reflection. You're so narcissistic that you can't possibly imagine putting yourself in his shoes and instead make it all about yourself and how he made you feel while reducing his feelings to being "overly sensitive".

You fix it by apologizing for being a stupid bitch and then serving him breakfast and a blowjob in bed every morning for a month.

ArabianPwincess197 · Answer

If you can't tolerate jokes then don't joke at all. You didn't like what he said and it hurt you. What you said was insensitive. Jokes to a certain extent are ok but not if they become insulting and hurt the other person. Be a little more sensitive next time.

This happened to my friend @keyspirits he's still recovering till this day.

aegis_penguin · Answer

You pretty much ridiculed and humiliated him in front of your friends. Of course this wasn't your intention. However, he didn't feel comfortable with your joke as it came cross as degrading and personal. I would recommend learning from this experience to not joke about anyone's body especially around many people and a personal part of their body such as genitalia.

Anonymous · Answer

All guys are different but yes he is sensitive about it from what you've told us. From the way he said it, I'm sure he didn't mean to say you're a bitch and more just like it's bitchy to tell people that he has a small penis. (Not that I agree)
He could have panicked from embarrassment causing him to come up with a comeback then leave, that's instinct and I know it's not pleasant but try to explain to him how you was kidding and how you were both wrong. If he's mature, he'll be willing to overlook it with you.

PiuBelloAmante · Answer

well yeah if you called my dick small in front of people i would be upset even if it isn't true

If i was him, i would have just laughed it off, and then pulled you aside later and said "You gotta watch your mouth around people! think before you speak, its not funny to joke about private things."

Red_Arrow · Answer

What you meant it to be (a joke) is not as important as how he saw it (not a joke). In that kind of situation, you both need to understand each other's humor and also how far you can push that. I would have probably made a joke about tour breast size, but it would obviously been just a joke and I would not have been offended by your joking (as long as it was joking).

You need to apologize first (you did start it) and then have a talk so you two understand each other on these kiind of things.

WesTheGuru · Answer

Never joke about that with a guy. EVER. It doesn't matter how big or small he is, never ever mention anything about his size in front of other people. It's incredibly rude, and insensitive.

What stickstickity said is 100% accurate. This would be like if he said "Well I'm surprised too, cause she's a fat one". You would not appreciate it at all. You should apologize.

bolverk · Answer

He was insulted and serious in his reply, do not be surprised if that is the last you see of him, or if you do see him it will be to collect anything he's left at your place and then move on,

Honestly, do you have no filter between your hind brain and your mouth?

Did you even give a thought about what you were saying?

You could try apologising and own that what you said was wrong, but I doubt he'll accept the apology, You just turned you longest relationship into the longest so far.

fauchelevent · Answer

You were extremely rude and inconsiderate towards his feelings. What you did was wrong. What he did was wrong too, but under the circumstances, after you humiliated him in front of everyone, I can understand why he said what he did. He was hurt and spurned on by that, but potentially he meant it. Who cares? It doesn't bother him enough to do anything serious about so obviously he doesn't give too much of a shit but he likely does feel embarrassed about himself now. You both need to apologise.

TheSpartan · Answer

... Are you fucking kidding me? Woah. You must be either insanely naive about guys or wickedly insensitive. I'm going to assume you're just really naive.

Joking about your boyfriend having a small penis, especially in front of other people, is probably the most insulting thing you could've done to him short of castrating him. That's probably the equivalent of him stabbing you and calling you fat as you bleed out.

I sincerely doubt that you'll be able to get his forgiveness on this one. If you do, he's going to remember this for a damn long time.

beautifulangel76 · Answer

You don't make fun of a guys penis in front of a bunch of people. You were very wrong for that and really hurt his feelings so I don't feel bad for you at all.

linkywinky · Answer

You're both wrong, but your jest is worse because unless he whips it out to prove to them all that he isn't suffering from tiny dick syndrome, none of them will know. Provided they don't fuck him, too.

Your tits are on your chest and it's quite easy to see whether you're flat chested or not.

JuicyBrain · Answer

You can fix this by asking for his forgiveness. What he did, he did it to show you that it hurts. Maybe there is some truth in what he said, maybe he finds you don't have big breasts. That doesn't mean you don't have other great things he likes. Nobody is perfect. Tell him you're sorry that you really don't think he has a small dick and don't do it again. Give him some time and all will be ok.

Anonymous · Answer

This was definitely your fault. You are a horrible communicator to even think that what he did was way worse. I don't properly understand how women in this case, like you, ALWAYS EXPECT the man to be at fault. You are clearly selfish and narrow minded. I can't believe your boyfriend would date you.

Anonymous · Answer

He was most likely serious and didn't say anything bc he respected you. At that moment he had no reason to. A bit overreacting on his part but plain bitch move on your part. Not called for. He couldn't call you a bitch? You're allowed to hurt him but it's wrong when he hurts you?

Bsmart87 · Answer

You don't joke about a mans size unless he is uber secure or can take what you dish out. That's like one of the most insulting humiliating things a women can say to a man. Would be like if i said "man, i bet guys just run away from you when you walk into a room." Also its one thing to be joking around in a private setting but with a group of people that was just mean regardless of the intent. I don't blame him to be honest.

rgb008 · Answer

You made a negative joke about his body, and you expect him to be okay with that?

Lochlan · Answer

He should have played it off with a smile and said, "yeah, it looks like someone glued an acorn to my pelvis".

In general, dude, you should know guys are over self-conscious of their schmucks. On the level of body dysmorphia.
Girls can get cheap attention from almost any dude they want and do so to spite a man already in their life. That "hidden truth" is not on the same level. Apologize.

TadCurious · Answer

He should have just left (without stooping to your level of insult) and never looked back. As in be done with you.

Candy12345 · Answer

You shouldn't have said that, that must of hurt his feelings. You kind of deserved it because what kind of girlfriend insults her bfs penis infront of his/her freinds. Lol

alice55 · Answer

You're were being a bitch. You were in front of his friend and completely humiliate him, no wonder he was so angry.
Why was you so rude and mean to him? Cannot you just smile or something?

You shouldn't be worried if he really mean or not but search a way to excuse to him.

Esplorare · Answer

Yeah, you were a rude bitch and you basically humiliated and dedignified him in front of your friends. You deserved the comment about your chest. This is your fault. You crossed a line.

Maggimay · Answer

Insult his member, infront of his friends? And ask if his insulted?  *rolls eyes* youth these days And you think the boob insult was worse *rolls eyes*

CandyandPinkCats · Answer

The guys on here are saying they'd break up with a girl over this. I don't think you did anything terrible, and he insulted you back (maliciously) so he got his 'revenge'. How all the guys are replying makes me feel glad that I chose not to have a boyfriend yet. I can't deal with the whole male ego thing. This is one of those times that I think feminists have a good point.

ShellyB · Answer

That is not something I would ever mention to him in any way let alone say in front of his guy friends! It is "potentially relationship-ending level." I would suggest ignoring the boob stuff for now and apologizing. Maybe he will reach a point where he also apologizes and you can move forward. Good luck!

HoneyButterCup525 · Answer

I understand his réaction, Never ever tell a Guy That his pénis is Small or cute in front of others cause thats Just embrassing...

But over all he shouldn't have uses bad language such as b*tch with you That was too Much, i know it wasn't you intentions to Hurt him but we all make mistakes at one point...

And the Guys answering are a bit too dramatic... its not the end of the world if someone says you got a small cock. ...

Anonymous · Answer

Lol are you kidding please? you were waiting him to hide your truth when you have naked him in front of everyone

"He did call me a bitch which hurt me. I dont know whose wrong me or him. How can we fix this? "..

you are the wrong one and i dont know why you dont see it, you started this so you have to apologize

StickStickity13 · Answer

This is one thing girls shouldn't joke about. It's kind of like a guy making fun of a girls weight. You just need to leave some things alone.

Anpu23 · Answer

First most guys have no idea how big they are. They have only seen there own and those in porn, and most guys honestly think that they are small. So you hit an almost universal trigger, and it is something that might just end your relationship. Yes guys are definitely that sensitive and you may have just crushed his self esteem.
Can you fix this, perhaps, but as it was done publicly it will be very difficult and he may never trust you again.

singlebee · Answer

You are an idiot if you make jokes about a guys dick... you are obviously immature... And you also seem selfish...

GOOSEBOY78 · Answer

you are entirely at fault here. this was all you. if you want to fix this you need to stop saying guys have a tiny dick, its like him saying you have a loose vagina. does it hurt that i said that?

now think how he feels. you hurt him in the worst way possible...

its up to you now how you make up to him.

Humping_Tornadoes · Answer

That's why you just don't joke about that sort of thing.

Anonymous · Answer

How can you not know that dick size is the ONE THING every guy gets insecure about? Especially when you say something like that in front of other people? If he had randomly said you were flat-chested you would've been provoked to say something rude back, too. I don't understand how people can say such horrible things about each other and then claim they're in love.

Him calling you a bitch was unnecessary and the remark about you being flat-chested was just cruel, but what did you expect?

Just1n123 · Answer

You insulted him, of course you're going to get insulted back, even if it was a joke you shouldn't have said that, especially in front of friends.

Anonymous · Answer

I mean it is rude in my opinion. Just think about it the other way around, what if you were with a group of people and he said "i'm surprised i've been with her so long, especially since she's so flat chested". You may not have did it on purpose or meant it as bad as it came out but in my opinion it's definitely hurtful.

Also we can't tell if you're flat chested or not lol but he was most likely just using it as a comparison because he was mad though.

JosephMcaleese · Answer

never insult the penis, that's literally a below the belt attack whether joke or not, I mean this is kind of common sense by now, unless you are immature.

mommymommymommy · Answer

It can be tricky when joking about a persons appearance, girls really don't like it, because they know they pride themselves on how they appear to men. He shouldn't have "retaliated" though. He should have just said he didn't appreciate it, and not to joke about that sort of thing. Even if he doesn't like your boobs, it's not something you just say "in retaliation", that usually means its a relationship built on lies

BryanMoore · Answer

I wouldn't say all guys are sensitive about it, but clearly he is. If he was secure in his size he'd probably laugh along too. He retaliated and that wasn't fair, but maybe you just need to apologise and explain you didn't realise this was a difficult topic for him.

Anonymous · Answer

Ummm yep... The first time my first girlfriend saw it, I wasn't really "fully grown" but I didn't know I was gonna grow more... And she giggled and asked if that was all... It crushed my spirit and she tried to make up for it... But ouch that left a scar.

MrNameless · Answer

It doesn't matter what your intentions are. Words are powerful. Words and how you say them can make you come across a jerk. Especially in a jokingly manner it can make you sound like you're making fun of them.

lynneishappi · Answer

He probably just took it to offense. He didn't see it as a joke the way you did. I dont think It was wrong to call you flat chested in response. However he should not have called you a bitch. That was a bit too much. It was just a misunderstanding

KAZ-2Y5 · Answer

you were way out of line apologize but i would be surprised if he does not leave you

Frost_Byt3 · Answer

That was no joke, that was just rude and uncalled for, especially in front of guests. I don't blame him.

AviatorTom · Answer

You should know it's never a joke about a man's penis. He had every right to attack back in the same way you attacked him... but commenting on your size. You owe your boyfriend an apology... and a BJ.

SpeakNoEvil · Answer

Most men can't take dick jokes, it's like the male equivalent of calling a girl fat (they can't help but feel insecure even if it's a joke and even if it's not true).

I joked about his size and he got angry and then insulted my breast size was he serious or just upset?

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I joked about his size and he got angry and then insulted my breast size was he serious or just upset?

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