My boyfriend wants to borrow my clothes?

[Anonymous]

Hello,

My boyfriend and I have been dating for about a month. Just the other day, he did something I found kind of strange. He asked if he could borrow my winter coat I was wearing because "his neighbor needed to do yard work outside and she couldn't afford a coat." I was a bit suspicious. I asked him many questions such as "Why can't she use your coat?" and "Why would I give my only winter coat to a random person?" He replied to those with "my mom is weird. She wants to use your coat because you're her size." I continually said no to him, because, mind you, it is really cold here! All day, that was all he talked about. All. Day. Can I borrow your coat? Can I have it? I'll give it back tomorrow. It won't get dirty... etc. etc.

Then later that night, after not giving him my coat, he texted me and told me that he made up that whole scenario and the only reason he wanted the coat was because we hardly see each other (even though we see each other daily) and he wants to feel close to me. I thought this was really sweet at first but I'm really not sure what to think now. Why would he want my COAT? Is this weird, or am I just being over dramatic?

[Mekkalyn]

Yeah I think that's a little weird...
I've never had a boyfriend ask to borrow a coat, although I borrow my SO's all the time... is that sexist?

I mean, is he around your size? Like can he fit into your coat? I'm wondering if he really wants to wear it for himself or if he wants it to "be close" to you, or who knows what other reason. It just seems odd the way he asked for it.

[Asker]

He is probably a foot taller than me, so no, we are not around the same size. My coat is also pretty feminine; it is a black Northface looking coat. And I do agree... I found it very odd... I'm wondering if I should just hand it over to get him off my back about it!

[Mekkalyn]

If it's your only coat, I wouldn't.
Can't you give him a sweatshirt or something?

[Killer-Queen]

I don't think you understand what sexist means.

[Mekkalyn]

@Killer-Queen Here is the full definition for you:
sexism
noun sex·ism \ˈsek-ˌsi-zəm\

1: unfair treatment of people because of their sex
2: prejudice or discrimination based on sex
3: behavior, conditions, or attitudes that foster stereotypes of social roles based on sex

While it is typically used in the woman's favor, it CAN be used to show *gasp* when a woman is sexist to a guy!

My example:
If a girl asks a boy to borrow a coat/sweatshirt, it's okay and socially acceptable.
If a boy asks a girl to borrow a coat/sweatshirt, it's not okay or socially acceptable.

That is an example of sexism, because it is okay for a female to do it, but not okay for a male to do without being considered weird.

An example that you may recognize: if a man is paid more in a job than a woman, it is sexist. Swap the gender roles, and it's still sexist.

But please, do tell me that I don't know what sexist means :)

[Killer-Queen]

Whoa, you broke it down as if I said I was the one that didn't know what it meant lmao
My ex and I used to share jeans and hoodies all the time because we wore the same size, so I hardly think it's weird.
"I've never had a boyfriend ask to borrow a coat, although I borrow my SO's all the time... is that sexist?" The answer would be nope, not even a little bit and to think it is is a big stretch. Maybe your guy simply didn't want to wear your coats.

[Mekkalyn]

@Killer-Queen Let's think outside the box a bit. This post is about a guy who may or may not want to wear the OP's coat (he wants it for some weird reason), and I had said that maybe he wanted to wear it. Then I further went on to say that it would be very weird for a guy to wear a girl's coat. Then I said that I wear my boyfriend's all the time. Afterwards, I said isn't that sexist? Referencing the fact that it's perfectly acceptable for a girl to wear a guy's sweatshirt, but not a guy to wear a girl's. That is sexist. You said I didn't know how what sexist means. I do. I used an example that clearly is an example of sexism. I thought you might be confused, and I cleared that up for you.

[Killer-Queen]

You don't have to repeat the exchange. I'm simply saying that your initial question regarding sexism seemed like an exaggerated term.
The majority of people including myself, agreed that it was odd for the boyfriend to create some elaborate lie, not that it was necessarily odd for him as a male to want to borrow his gf's coat. I'm just not seeing how sexism even applies here as no one really knows why he felt he needed to lie about. It's not a personal attack - it was an observation on the situation.

[Turtleluv]

It's weird. To lie all day about something. Honestly I wouldn't believe him. It sounds like he knew it was odd and is trying to cover.

[Asker]

What do you think he wants it for?

[TheINTJ]

Yeah, that's really weird. :/ Should've asked him why he had to lie about it if it was really just that.

[AnonKuma]

Your normal, he's weird lol. Normally I guess they would prefer the smell or perfume that their girlfriend used. However, he's asking for a piece of clothing that you prob dont wear often outside of the fall/winter/spring season lol.

Also it is very sus how he went from : Neighbor to mom to telling you the truth. He could have made it all up, but that's really plain weird...

[Devin17]

Ok you know how girls want to wear there sweatshirt? Well that's same forva guy... but its more weird for a guy to ask xC

[Killer-Queen]

He's a weirdo for lying about that. Years ago my ex and I used to swap hoodies and wear each others jeans since we wore the same size lmao (yea, he was pretty small). It was cute.

[apple24]

I don't think this is normal behavior! Have you tired to talk to him?

[Asker]

No... He even admitted that it was weird himself! He didn't want me to tell anyone about this because he was afraid they would judge him...

[apple24]

Do you still love him? Want him as your bf? What are you going to do?

[Asker]

I mean, this isn't something that I think will throw off our entire relationship, but I will keep this in mind later on... If he continues with this strange demeanor then I will probably leave...

[apple24]

I think you should just leave because he seems to have issues of his own and you can't help him...

[Jaden69]

that's pretty weird tbh. I'm hoping he wanted to make you laugh or someshit.

[Someonesmartt]

He wants to jerk off

[jmmmfi2]

That's pretty weird