Why did he invite me over just to cuddle and sleep over and didn't want to have sex with me? what does he want?

[Anonymous]

I met this guy. We had sex first time we hang out. I didn't expect him to stick around but he did text me the next day saying that he's had a great time and we should do it again. We started kinda seeing each other. Mostly hanging out over by his place. And we did have sex every time. He wasn't the type who would text every day saying hello and checking on me plus sometimes it would take him forever to respond so I thought that the only thing he wanted with me was sex. I decided to keep it this way and see where it goes. I started falling for him but I didn't feel like he wanted any relationships. I didn't want to scare him away and said once that I liked him and I was afraid of this feeling coz I didn't want any relations. Also I have told him that I was very attracted to him physically and loved having sex with him, that he was driving me crazy in bed. In a mean while he saw me couple time out with some other guy (friends not sure what he thought about it) once he even came up to me to say hello. One night after party I ended up at his place I've had a bit more to drink then I should have. He said that he wanted just to relax but I pushed him into having sex, told him again how hot he was and how I always wanted him. Next day I texted him saying sorry for misbehaving, he didn't reply. I left him alone for a while. A week later he texted first. I couldn't get together that night but I did say that I wanted to see him. We couldn't catch up for like a week. And I was the one who was texting first and was always busy. Then thet one night I texted again, first he said that he was busy but then couple hrs later said that wanted to hang out. I ended up at his place again. He opened the door wearing only his boxers and was busy with his phone for a while. Then we had a short conversation, he said that he was busy at work and stressed. I tried to make a move but he said that he was tired and wanted to relax. I asked him if he wanted me to leave, he just pulled my head to his chest

Updates

+1 y

And so we cuddled and I just slept over. The Next day I texted he replayed. Then I texted today and here comes nothing. by the way he is a very smart man and got a good job with a lot of responsibilities

Updates

+1 y

Is it a good idea to text him saying that I'd love to spend some time with him instead of asking him what's he is up to tonight... But the whole past week I was the one who contacted him first!

[Cmasterson]

I think you guys definitely have chemistry but not every guy all the time wants sex, like sure the offer would be there and it would've been great for both of you but I think he also wants you to know he appreciates the person that you are and he doesn't have to always have to have sex with you to make your time together worth it.

[Asker]

Thank you!!! I guess I just wait and see if he is going to text me.

[Lonely_Blue_Moon]

He wants somebody to hold at night, rather than just a fuck buddy. His job is stressful and tiring, so he doesn't want to do anything that requires much effort, which sex generally does. He just wants someone to hold onto in the dark.

(Not saying he doesn't want sex at all, just in cases like these.)

[Asker]

I just thought that the only thing he wanted was sex coz he didn't make any other moves

[Lonely_Blue_Moon]

Perhaps that was because he thought you didn't want him to.

In my experience with people, one of the best pieces I've come across is this: You tend to surround yourself with people who are different on the outside but very similar on the inside. People really aren't as different as they like to think they are, especially within social groups.

[Asker]

So how should I act now? Not sure if he is interested in me any more. I think he thinks I am crazy!

[Lonely_Blue_Moon]

Well, I'm really, really exhausted, so I don't remember if you said that you actually wanted to be in a relationship with him, but if you do, I'd recommend that you tell him that you'd like to have an actual relationship. If he isn't interested, he'll tell you.

He seems to be the cuddling type, like me, so if you don't really like that, I wouldn't get in a relationship with him, cause either you'll be uncomfortable or he'll end up unsatisfied and lonely, even if you have sex daily.

If you two end up in a relationship, I have one very simple piece of advice: touch him more. Not even sexually, just occasionally hold onto his arm, or hold his hand. He'll appreciate it, trust me.

[Babybebe15]

Wow, you sound really wise for your age.

[Lonely_Blue_Moon]

@Babybebe15 Thank you!

I'm not really sure why, but I got a really strong read on this guy just based on what the asker said about him, and he's a lot like me, so I know what advice to give here.

[ArtDent]

Men aren't sex robots? Who knew?