I can't say if it's true for every guy but, from what I've seen, I think it's because most guys see no reason to act that way if they're not getting anything in return. Which is just a terrible mindset if you think about it. I like opening doors for women (and elderly people), I like offering to help carry something. I really don't care if they can do it or not. It makes me feel happy because usually when I do it, I see them smile.
I'm starting to think that one's willingness to be chivalrous and keep to that admittedly antiquated sense of etiquette is based on how selfless/selfish they are. Obviously, I'm not saying that anyone and everyone who doesn't exhibit 'chivalrous' behaviour is selfish. I'm just saying, they're reasoning behind it says a lot about what they're generally looking for in life. If that makes sense... I get the feeling I've explained that poorly. If I have, sorry.
I kind of agree with you. People in general now a days are more selfish than ever. Instead of doing things out of respect or courtesy, we always expect something in return. Chivalry shouldn't be done in order to get something (ie. sex). It should be done because the person wants to and they are a decent person.
Why would you want them to be? Many of the things considered chivalrous are old fashioned, unnecessary and create distance between the genders, in my opinion. They're small gestures and Im not going to be the feminazi who cares if they do act that way, but I don't expect guys to give me their coat when we're both cold, or pay for my drinks, or to take the first step in everything. I'd like everyone to be polite of course, but holding doors open for people shouldn't be a gender-dependent thing.
In the 20th century the sad truth is that every guy will eventually learn the hard way that you can't be too nice to girls sometimes not even a little most will jump on any opportunity and take advantage of your kindness. That's why some times I have to act like an asshole to some girls just to get the message across. But chivalry is given to the right person and shouldn't even handed out to just anybody.
1. Equal rights/women's lib made it a sexist thing 2. Younger generations of guys are mostly mush 3. Those that aren't mush haven't been taught chivalry 4. It isn't necessary to woo women anymore since they give sex out for free anyway 5. For those few guys who genuinely like to woo women, chivalry is now the fast track to the friend zone
Hah. Chilvalry is dead. I would say I act like a traditional gentlemen but no women I've met are interested in it at all. All they want are f***boys. Could be the area I live in, but it's all but killed my chivalry.
Plus with todays' feminists it'd probably come off as misogynistic and disrespectful.
If you are a true gentleman, you set standards for your own conduct and you do not change those standards in response to criticisms from hostile feminists. No, you just keep doing what you believe is right and honorable.
I believe that gentlemanly behavior has waned as a result of laziness and lowered expectations; hostile feminism has provided a convenient excuse for the change in behavior.
Because women are not feminine or traditional anymore. If you want men to abide by traditional gender roles, then make it worth our while by abiding by yours.
Because of society or more accurately feminism. Like if or when I hold a door open for some girl they don't say thank you. Don't even look at me. Like they're so use to getting doors held open for them or they must think I'm only looking for a number. 😒 why even bother now days
Why yes we exist today. 😉. There are many problems however. 😤. Wait you ask why huh? First Ladies really hate us. 😫. You assume we are crazy wacko creeps. 😔. Second everyone nowadays calls us nice guys. 😯. That upsets many guys silly. 😏. What if you women received similar treatment? You did get really mad. 😛. Third feminism ruined our kind. 😈. Well you women would want their cake first instead. β οΈ. Then keep it for yourself. 💩. That is why we are disappearing okay? Many guys quickly became tired. 😟. Yes guys indeed hate that. βΊοΈ.
i think it has to do with women being more independent and not wanting to come across as helpless which is why some women feel offended by guys being like that. and while i will help a girl if needed im weary of what girl i help because i dont want to offend her.
Though, I know a lot of guys who are chivalrous. The guys in my area are. I never had an issue with a guy opening a door for me, giving me their jacket when I'm cold, paying for meals... honestly, I didn't even know women had encountered this until I joined G@G. I've never dated a guy who didn't pay for me or open doors for me or stuff like that. They always did it (willingly) without me asking.
It is argued that feminism brought the demise of chivalry.
But it depends on the man. Scott does things like holding doors for me, holding my coat, etc. While I'm as feminist as any woman I can still appreciate those courtesies. He does those things because he's a gentleman & we love each other!
I don't know about you but all my guy friends are and especially my boyfriend. My boyfriend holds doors open for me, carries my bags and opens the car door. Maybe it's just the aura that's given out, in addition to your stature. I'm really small, people are just naturally inclined to help me, I'm also really friendly and thank people for all they do.
For me it was because I was made fun of for it. When I would do something for a woman. I was teased and so was she. After I helped her she did not look happy that I helped her out cause we were being teased. After 4 years of being made fun of for being chivalrous it is really had to get back to being so. That is something that I have worked on recently. Still most women don't like it when you try to do things for them unless your dating them.
When will women realize that the whole chivalry thing was a code for nobility that applied mostly to conduct in warfare and royal court, and there was VERY little that had to do with how to treat a woman? And what little there was only applied to noble Ladies, not to commoner wenches.
Maybe they should come up with another word for things like holding doors, or paying, or otherwise treating her better than you simply because she's female. Wait, there's already a word for that: simping.
Hey, women want equality, that means no more chivalry. I still open my car door for my girlfriend and let her in the house first and all stuff, but why would some young guys do that when they see on the news that they are potential rapists whose male problems don't matter?
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Some are. Others have been scared out of it by feminism and some just were never raised right. But chivalrous men do exist. I got one😊
I can't say if it's true for every guy but, from what I've seen, I think it's because most guys see no reason to act that way if they're not getting anything in return. Which is just a terrible mindset if you think about it. I like opening doors for women (and elderly people), I like offering to help carry something. I really don't care if they can do it or not. It makes me feel happy because usually when I do it, I see them smile.
I'm starting to think that one's willingness to be chivalrous and keep to that admittedly antiquated sense of etiquette is based on how selfless/selfish they are. Obviously, I'm not saying that anyone and everyone who doesn't exhibit 'chivalrous' behaviour is selfish. I'm just saying, they're reasoning behind it says a lot about what they're generally looking for in life. If that makes sense... I get the feeling I've explained that poorly. If I have, sorry.
I kind of agree with you. People in general now a days are more selfish than ever. Instead of doing things out of respect or courtesy, we always expect something in return. Chivalry shouldn't be done in order to get something (ie. sex). It should be done because the person wants to and they are a decent person.
All I ask for in return is a smile or a thank you. At least acknowledge my existence
Why would you want them to be?
Many of the things considered chivalrous are old fashioned, unnecessary and create distance between the genders, in my opinion.
They're small gestures and Im not going to be the feminazi who cares if they do act that way, but I don't expect guys to give me their coat when we're both cold, or pay for my drinks, or to take the first step in everything.
I'd like everyone to be polite of course, but holding doors open for people shouldn't be a gender-dependent thing.
Because they've been beaten down and brainwashed by a handful of feminazis.
In the 20th century the sad truth is that every guy will eventually learn the hard way that you can't be too nice to girls sometimes not even a little most will jump on any opportunity and take advantage of your kindness. That's why some times I have to act like an asshole to some girls just to get the message across. But chivalry is given to the right person and shouldn't even handed out to just anybody.
As a lot of others have said,
1. Equal rights/women's lib made it a sexist thing
2. Younger generations of guys are mostly mush
3. Those that aren't mush haven't been taught chivalry
4. It isn't necessary to woo women anymore since they give sex out for free anyway
5. For those few guys who genuinely like to woo women, chivalry is now the fast track to the friend zone
Hah. Chilvalry is dead. I would say I act like a traditional gentlemen but no women I've met are interested in it at all. All they want are f***boys. Could be the area I live in, but it's all but killed my chivalry.
Plus with todays' feminists it'd probably come off as misogynistic and disrespectful.
If you are a true gentleman, you set standards for your own conduct and you do not change those standards in response to criticisms from hostile feminists. No, you just keep doing what you believe is right and honorable.
I believe that gentlemanly behavior has waned as a result of laziness and lowered expectations; hostile feminism has provided a convenient excuse for the change in behavior.
Because women are not feminine or traditional anymore. If you want men to abide by traditional gender roles, then make it worth our while by abiding by yours.
Because of society or more accurately feminism. Like if or when I hold a door open for some girl they don't say thank you. Don't even look at me. Like they're so use to getting doors held open for them or they must think I'm only looking for a number. 😒 why even bother now days
Why yes we exist today. 😉. There are many problems however. 😤. Wait you ask why huh? First Ladies really hate us. 😫. You assume we are crazy wacko creeps. 😔. Second everyone nowadays calls us nice guys. 😯. That upsets many guys silly. 😏. What if you women received similar treatment? You did get really mad. 😛. Third feminism ruined our kind. 😈. Well you women would want their cake first instead. β οΈ. Then keep it for yourself. 💩. That is why we are disappearing okay? Many guys quickly became tired. 😟. Yes guys indeed hate that. βΊοΈ.
Vicious, vile, selfish, arrogant women (basically feminists) ruined it when they began attacking men for it.
Ummm... That's not what feminism is... ππ
@AJ8433 It's not what it is supposed ot be. But it is what it is. Sorry.
Women (or rather nutty feminists who spoke on behalf of all women, and women let them) said they were grossly offended by it.
And us men, being very simple creatures, listened and said "ok".
You wanted equality, you got it. It's not a buffet, where you can go "Equal pay? We're having that. Paying for dinner? No, you can keep that."
i think it has to do with women being more independent and not wanting to come across as helpless which is why some women feel offended by guys being like that. and while i will help a girl if needed im weary of what girl i help because i dont want to offend her.
Because they don't want to be. Too lazy.
Though, I know a lot of guys who are chivalrous. The guys in my area are. I never had an issue with a guy opening a door for me, giving me their jacket when I'm cold, paying for meals... honestly, I didn't even know women had encountered this until I joined G@G. I've never dated a guy who didn't pay for me or open doors for me or stuff like that. They always did it (willingly) without me asking.
6 downvotes 5 of them guys, Where's the left wing cuck squad of this site.
I hope you inspire someone.
It is argued that feminism brought the demise of chivalry.
But it depends on the man. Scott does things like holding doors for me, holding my coat, etc. While I'm as feminist as any woman I can still appreciate those courtesies. He does those things because he's a gentleman & we love each other!
I don't know about you but all my guy friends are and especially my boyfriend. My boyfriend holds doors open for me, carries my bags and opens the car door. Maybe it's just the aura that's given out, in addition to your stature. I'm really small, people are just naturally inclined to help me, I'm also really friendly and thank people for all they do.
For me it was because I was made fun of for it. When I would do something for a woman. I was teased and so was she. After I helped her she did not look happy that I helped her out cause we were being teased. After 4 years of being made fun of for being chivalrous it is really had to get back to being so. That is something that I have worked on recently. Still most women don't like it when you try to do things for them unless your dating them.
When will women realize that the whole chivalry thing was a code for nobility that applied mostly to conduct in warfare and royal court, and there was VERY little that had to do with how to treat a woman? And what little there was only applied to noble Ladies, not to commoner wenches.
Maybe they should come up with another word for things like holding doors, or paying, or otherwise treating her better than you simply because she's female. Wait, there's already a word for that: simping.
Hey, women want equality, that means no more chivalry. I still open my car door for my girlfriend and let her in the house first and all stuff, but why would some young guys do that when they see on the news that they are potential rapists whose male problems don't matter?