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The thing is, the characteristics traditionally associated with women are much worse than those associated with men. Women are supposed to be emotional, needy, romantic, weak and dependent, while men are strong , independent, rational, realists etc.
If that's so, I think everyone - men and women - should try to be more "masculine".
Needy is not feminine. Femininity is gentle, but independent. Like a cat that wants food, but doesn't really need you that much. A woman wants protection for example, but like a cat, she cuddles a bit and then does her thing when she feels like it. A needy woman is not feminine because there is no grace in desperation.
Weakness is also not feminine. Women have strenght and it's quiet, persistent, enduring and resilient. It's a strength of a marathoner vs the male strength of a 100 meter dash runner. This kind of strength enables her to need downtime rarely so she can almost always support her man who may have depleted his strength for that day.
Dependence is something both genders have in healthy limits. To be in a relationship means to be able to depend on someone to a degree, while also still having a life and an identity. When people aren't insecure, they don't become either 100% dependent, nor do they pretend they don't need anyone.
Emotional and romantic are not flaws at all.
@yunali I'm talking about what's been traditionally associated with each gender. Like a social norm, it doesn't mean it corresponds to the scientific truth. It's a social ideology.
Being too emotional is a flaw in a way that makes you make worse decisions. Everyone has emotions, but at the end people should decide by reason.
Being romantic can easily become a flaw IF it leads to idealism. For example, I know people that remaind believing in things like "soul mates", "stars crossed", "charming princes" and stuff like that even after they're old. This is sad because it makes them chase a mirage. They give real happiness to go after an idealization of what happiness should be. There's no virtue in letting go the ways of reality to chase childish dreams. :) Take care.
I am saying what society idealizes isn't what you're picturing. What I describe are ideals that actually describe femininity. What you describe are distorted, mocking put downs of feminists who are ashamed of their own gender and men who never met a feminine woman. I talk about actual social ideology, you talk about a feminist parody of a social ideology.
Too emotional means you're unstable, not feminine. Emotional within limits of being normal, kind and having good relationships is BENEFICIAL, because, even if it makes you less apt to make better decisions than a non-emotional man would, this open expression helps maintain the health of the relationship by inviting openness, protection and vulnerability, thus creating bonding you can't have with a "tough girl".
Being "romantic" to me is being an "idealist", yes. But just like emotions, idealism can be taken too far. Again, there is healthy and there is delusional. A healthy romantic dreams in face of cynicism bringing color to life
Or more accurately, romantic is "giving meaning" to things in life, a cynic simply weighs on the cold scale of benefit vs cost.
Being delusional has nothing with being a romantic, that's just what delusional people say to justify their failures in life caused by said delusions.
@yunali all ideologies are flawed, because they are that, ideologies. Traditionalistas, religious people, feminists... if they follow an idea or concept that is not backed by a strict empirical observation and logic (a. k. a. science), that's an ideology. What you described is an ideology, but my original description is also a very comon ideology.
As for the flaws of being romantic and emotional, it's obvious we don't see this matter the same way. For me, there are plenty of ways to bring color to life without having to resort to a realty that is not backed by science. The line for me is very clear:
An objective idealist will take things for what they are, but will not be afraid to try to change them so they can be much better.
A subjetive idealist refuses to see things for what they are and insist in believing things like the examples I gave. This idealism will only bring suffering.
Your blanket statement about ideologies is silly. Relativism is no way to think, it's just a way to deepen and expand an already formed thought.
My opinions are derived from years and years of researching psychology and observing different people, not from a simple cultural imprint.
And it's obvious you automatically presume there is only one way to see the world, which is ironic after you gave me a speech about the inherent flaw of having an ideology.
@yunali There are plenty of ways to see reality, but not all of them can stand the test of science. It all comes to that: science is not an ideology, it's how we test the veracity of ideologies.
Your ideology of empiricism is tiring me. :3
@yunali All right, then.
To deny validity and importance of anything you cannot measure as is pretty zealous considering you can only measure a very small fragment of your reality. It's a waste of life really.
Well, we'll have to disagree one more time. Most (if not all) of reality can be quantified. Not saying it's the only relevant data about an object, but it's a fundamental one.
bwhaha nu :p
Agree to disagree then. ^^
@yunali lol ok. No need to be angry :)
hahahah well thank you. That made me stop raging. xD
Ur funny :)
^^ thanks
Well I used to carry a club that I would whack unsuspecting maidens over the head with to bring back to my cave, but I felt change was in order. That was a bit too masculine.
No one wants to be a try hard.
So you're implying that women are cowards and lack confidence
Glad to see you hold your own gender at such a high standard
I would normally agree with you but your reasons are so stupid that in this case id have to say no
There are other reasons why men seem to be more feminine tho
No. women became very aggressive tawrd us. they give us painful rejections and embarrsment.
The solution is the women should do the approach instead of us.
I'm actually with guys on that one. Whats wrong with us asking YOU out. I'm a little nervous about it, but I do it anyway. A lot of boys are flattered.
thats why i picked this username, i've always hated, resented, detested on how in life and society, us guys are expected to be the confident, assertive ones, and it bothers me more on how us guys are supposed to enjoy and embrace being confident and dominant
Yes. But, it's a broader and deeper problem than that. Women aren't feminine either. And, more fundamentally, people are failing to exercise the faculty of reason.
bc women now are not worth it
they causeso much drama and play all these mind games
even from a financial point of view women are very costly and offer little in return
Exactly, they want us to be emotionless robots and play all these mind games, ohh you should have confidence, you shouldn't be nervous, well i'm a human being bitch! and girls make me nervous, that doesn't mean i'm femenine, i'm just human.
@sweetshyguy Way to assume all women are the same. Another thing way to pretty much say thst not one woman is worth a guys time
Hay who you calling a drama Mama? And I'm not costly either lol I don't really want anything normally if I want something I'll get it myself plus i don't like diamonds 💎💍 lol if I was a drama Mama I probably would have killed half my family by now lol. If you think I'm one of the girls who think I'm going to get married and be a house wall he's doing the work yah be wrong I have no desire to be a thorn in the side
@soulbabe who are u :>
@soulbabe
srsl it different lets say divorce
in most cases guys will ose everything
while most women will be set for life
I wouldn't want his stuff he can keep it
@soulbabe that will change if he is $$$$$
everyone has a price
I don't I'll sign a prenup if he would like I don't care about a guys money
@soulbabe
forgive me if i dont believe u
women on this site see men as banks
You can believe what you want but again I don't care about his money
@soulbabe we will se :p :> invite me to your wedding someday :p
Not likely because I probably won't get married or even date
@soulbabe hhhhhhhh
whyyyyyyy this pessimistic :(
I don't know what the last word means
@soulbabe : to see the negative point of every suitation
I don't know i just know I will probably stay alone😂
@soulbabe https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=djU4Lq_5EaM
:p
Sure, I like nice clothes, and I've never killed anything, or raised a barn, but that doesn't mean I'm feminine. I have the testosterone required to grow a beard, I'm 6'1, and I have a handspan of 9 inches. That's masculine enough for me.
the government is trying to make us into women
and making it seem like a good thing lol there stupid and not to be mean but most women I meet are sooooo stupid so at this point in my life if you don't agree with me then bye no point in having sex with her even
Nice try shaming men into doing all the work for ya. Not our problem that you're too afraid to ask out guys.
Welcome to equality where courage, ambition and confidence are now traits of both genders.
Deal with it.
Let's say I go to the farmers market on the last day 5 minutes before I close and bitch about the lack of quality of the vegetables. That my dear is where you are at. Most of the "manly men" are taking by the first comers. What you have to choose from are the leftovers. Men aren't any less manly it's just that you came too late to the party.
It's not so much afraid to approach but tired of the rejection and games. It's long overdue for women to start approaching. Almost all guys would like a woman to approach for once and not expect the guy to do it all the time. I think there'd be a lot better/happier relationships as a result to because it's women that ultimately "choose" anyway, so why not them do the approaching also?
I also think it's become a woman's natural first reaction when a guy does approach to say "no" automatically without even thinking. Even if she does kind of like him or think he's attractive/interesting because they're afraid or whatever.
I don't see how video games and not approaching women is femanine.
Isn't this what 3rd wave feminism wanted?
For men to be more "in touch with their feelings?"
Of course men are now feminine , limp-twisted, and milquetoast.
There is nothing feminine about video games. Feminine men look androgynous, because the misandrists and SJWs like to shame masculinity. Thankfully most of us men still proudly embrace masculinity.
I mean, this is what women wanted, right? For us to be more "feminine" and for them to be more empowered and become "manly". If you really want complete equality, there will be certain parts that are inevitably going to harm you, too.
No. It's simply being shy, and being shy isn't feminine. Unless being shy is only and usually found within women, you cannot call being shy to be feminine.
No shit... Depending on where you live, you could really struggle to find an actual man rather than an estrogenic creature who's wife cut off their balls and put them in their purses
yeah I agree a lot of men are now becoming afraid of the other gender or perceiving them as someone who is nothing like them and they should just stick to guys as they are understandable and easy to talk to, I wouldn't say feminine but definitely becoming less inticed by the opposite gender, I'm not sure if it has to do with modern feminism or to do with society as a whole.
I find it funny how for centuries when men ran everything. Women were crying sexism. Now that men let women have as much control as they want. They look at us as feminine, wimps, not masculine enough!
Agreed lol
Nope, I'm not feminine at all. Most guys I know reject anything that's feminine and don't act feminine either... And the stuff you described isn't feminine or masculine. It's immaturity and low confidence.
In a way though, maturity and confidence is what separates girls and boys from men and women. So "manly" or masculine could be interpreted this way?
I agree that a lot of men are kinda sissy today, but like, I wouldn't say feminine. Cuz I'm feminine and proud of it, it isn't a bad thing :)
No, I disagree, and when I'm done polishing my nails I'm coming over there to pull your hair.
You almost made that work, except I don't know a lot of women who are going to see "pull yr hair" and not think of some damn aggressive, old-fashioned fucking.
@redeyemindtricks Oh my o__O You had to take it there! Now I need to adjust my panties :'(
Men are becoming more feminine because part of feminist teachings is to punish masculinity as being toxic (violent, rape, crime etc)
That's your opinion of what a "man" should be. If a guy you want isn't living up to your standards, do what everyone else does and keep it moving.
We're the first generation raised predominately by single moms. These men have no father figure in their lives and with marriage being obsolete ( 50% divorce rate ), it makes sense to pump & dump women and play video games. Young men... *fist bump*
I mainly see a big number of guys trying to copy the alpha male type they read about on the internet.
dude you're 70. congratulations man!
@BertMacklinFBI
No problem taking guys 1/3d. my age. :D
last time i saw your profile it was 69, which wasn't too long ago. Hope I live as long :D
@BertMacklinFBI I hope I 'll see my granddaughter get her masters degree.
I'm confident you will :) and that'll be quite the achievement on her part.
not having confidence doesn't make you feminine , not playing video games also doesn't make you feminine WTF
I know right, she made me feel bad, like i'm a sissy loser
I don't want you to solve my problems i just want to be listened too! ;-;
Ignoring women and playing video games sounds pretty manly to me. I think it's the hipster and vegan men who are too feminine. Real men kill and eat things.
No, i disagree i think women and or girls have issues
learning to accept guys who have morals and classified
too nice , i think females want be treated bad by the guys
with bad boy image and guys who are just wanting sex.
Yes but it isn't TV games. It's feminism that's causes this. TV games is a logical response to a world that doesn't give a shit and where approaching a girl is seen as creepy.
No. Men are fine. I know a lot of awesome guys and very very few are feminine.
I'm a man, i have confidence. i approach woman easy. and I take care of myself. but what does video game have to do with being feminine?
Why would you care though? Go for type of guy you like then.
Most guys just can't be bothered to approach because girls don't approach -_-
Some*
I love how you slapped your own gender in the face with this xD
yeah I don't think she knew that she was walking into that one
I think if you're looking for an alpha male, they exist, there are plenty of them. Men, like women, differ from one another.
What you call "alpha males are usually just jerks>
Yeah. But, there's someone for everyone.
I agree. I feel bad for real today who get shamed just for being masculine men and branded as toxic woman haters
Where I live, they aren't feminine at all. Well, some are (I've only known 2 guys that are quite feminine) but the majority are not.
"I can't get a girlfriend, but I'm good looking, what's happening, am I not pretty enough?"
Some are.
Not approaching a woman doesn't make you feminine, but these days no one interacts with people as much and approaching was never that easy
Women's rights and the associated groups have made it very hard for men to be men. Men are put down so often for being men. Why do women want a man to act like a women? I don't. What was so wrong with each gender doing what they do best?
I agree. I think women are becoming more masculine and men are becoming more feminine.
which won't work in the long run because women cannot handle being men, and they dont want to date men who become to much like women.
True because women don't like girly guys. It's actually the reverse because men can't handle being women.
nope its not the reverse, men can handle being "more like women" because it is easier being a woman as you have less responsibilites, but society does not respect men who behave like women so we are pressured to be very masculine. Women are encouraged that they have a choice if they want to be a feminine or masculine person, but women are inferior to men so when they try to be masculine they get outperformed by men and then start to whine about it to the government. Women cannot handle being men, its fact.
Go try giving birth, bleeding every month, being put down by men, being paid less, and having to pay tampon tax for things we don't even want.
Also, try being pressured to look like a Barbie doll at all times.
you can't compare giving birth since its a biological function of the female only and its something you are designed to do (and its pretty much automatic a woman gave birth during a coma even), we are talking about personality traits and lifestyle choices.
Im sure men could handle bleeding and childbirth if that was part of our biology, but its not so no point in comparing it. Women try to put us down all the time both when we pursue them for relationships as well with their feminism. The whole society today is anti--male. But men for the most part dont care much and just deal with it, unlike women who complain and whine all the time about every small little thing.
When it comes to looks, men are pressured to be tall and muscular, in addition to being confident, funny, dominant but not to much, and wealthy with a high prestige job.
Wage gap is a false myth by the way. and men have to pay tax for abortion and many other female only aids.
Pardon me for interrupting. I don't usually get confrontational but you are arguing with an idiot.
Who? @Jennifer88
Alphdoggystyle
@Jennifer88 Yea, I know, he made this more complicated than it had to be.
@Jennifer88 sry but no, its you and the person I'm arguing with who are idiots, I'm not, every thing i said was fact, you're in denial.
Yes, and I see that women also struggle to find men that can be dominant sexually. Business opportunity.
id have to agree that they are now a lot of them are more feminine and thats sad for me because i want a tough hairy guy idc i love actual men
Let me see if I got this straight. If he's not hairy then he's not an actual man?
no im saying that i want a hairy man not those men who shave their chest can you not take everything seriously its a figure of speech
I don't know, I see where you're coming from but society has made it that way.
^this
they are humanized males who know their place and accept female superiority
Essentially. Why bother asking a girl out when there is the chance she says it's unwanted and therefore some type of harassment? At least I'm safe at my apartment, by myself playing video games and learning different hobbies like programming. I'm not getting screwed over in a "he said she said" situation.
@Botchie way to only look at the negative
@Botchie
In Nottinghamshire, in England, just speaking to a woman can result in a man being charged with an Orwellian thought crime.
This is a beta test. You can expect this sort of law to be rolled out throughout the Western world.
Soon, even trying to ask a girl on a date will risk arrest and imprisonment.
Enjoy being lonely, ladies. You wanted it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pQudi2I74PY
@MysteriousDarkness I'm working on it. It's just hard. I've been burned a lot lately so it's a slow process working towards being positive again.
I had a scare where the girl I was with had a concussion that impacted her memory and couldn't remember who I was after we had hooked up.
@cth96190 I don't want the loneliness. I want people to calm the heck down and not escalate everything to some form of harassment. I've been physically assaulted before, had an ex pull a knife on me but I still don't let that get to me whenever a woman touches my body.
@Botchie
You do not want to be lonely?
Get a couple of rescue dogs, or cats. Seriously.
I have five cats, two dogs and wild animals with whom I have a sort of Grizzly Adams relationship on my rural property. One of my hopes is that one day the kangaroos will let me hand feed them.
The cats, dogs and your hand will not take your house, your other assets and turn you into their impoverished slave for life via child and spousal support orders.
@cth96190 I'm allergic to cats. But I plan on getting a dog in the future. I just can't afford one at the moment :/
And just to clarify, I don't dislike women. I think of it as the same as how women think of being alone with a guy they barely know. If they can show me that I can trust them, they are a good human being in my eyes. They same way they'd expect me to show that I mean no harm to them. It's all about protecting ourselves.
women know best.. best for society if they take leadership n dominant roles... men need tofollow their whims... and @Botchie what you mention is indeed harassment... a #nomeansno
Women know best? ROTFL
That is why so many women created empires, invented so much technology and have been great philosophers.
Without men, women would be starving in dirt-floored grass huts in the Stone Age.
actually that would be best
@cth96190 all the men mentioned are people who had dominant women lives in cases of positive contribution while those which have led destructive developments in society are examples of men using their inherent evil masculinity
The self hatred and delusional Marxist conditioning is strong in this one.
not self hatred but spiritual awareness
@MysteriousDarkness Which part are you referring to for the #NoMeansNo? Because she initiated and consented with me. And the moment her head started hurting, I stopped and tried to comfort her. The moment she called me by a different name, I went and got her friend who helped her out to feel better. I know better and I definitely don't take any chances when it comes to going against consent.
But if you're talking about my ex who pulled a knife on me, that is harassment too.
Society doesn't require men to do anything masculine. A successful man is probably doing girly stuff like designing software or selling real estate. We have machines to do the man stuff.
Listen kids, the main trait of being masculine... is doing the stuff women want you to do instead of the stuff you want to do.
Where is the ''No, I mostly disagree'' option? Haha.
shit yes... its feninists in the medias fault for trying to demonize every aspect of masculinity lately.. i dont approach women anymore because i feel like its predatory now or something..
I prefer feminine girls but besides me being nice I'm definitely not feminine
Well some women make it so men are deterred from approaching women lest women assume them of having some ulterior motive.
I once asked a girl for a light at the bar and she gave me this dirty look like I had some ulterior motive.
Nope. Now of days, there is just an easier distinction between good guys and jerks. To me, anyway.
The reason why I don't approach women (that often) is that I've often been rejected sooner or later. Other than that, I don't do the other things you mentioned.
Gurrrl. There are too many metrosexual and hipster men! So yeah, too many feminine doodz.
Alright, I feel so stupid but what the hell is a metrosexual?
@Jennifer88 a heterosexual dude who enjoys shopping, fashion, and similar interests traditionally associated with women or homosexual men.
www.monitor.co.ug/.../Fw06pix.jpg
xD
Isn't that just a little predjudice?
@Jennifer88 Nah.
I like fashion and shopping. I also like playing football with the boys. So am I a girly girl or bull dyker?
@Jennifer88 This is a convo I ain't gonna have. At all.
66.media.tumblr.com/.../...YJa1shyusgo5_r1_500.gif
well I came her to learn more that give opinions. Im just trying to understand. I askes a serious question. Am i Fem for liking feminie things or butch cuz i also like guy things
No, but there are a lot of pussies. So if those two things correlate, then yes I do. But overall no.
I think they are removing themselves from outdated gender roles now which is generally a good thing.
Yeah. I think this is a fair point. Of course women by in large are becoming far too masculine as well.
So women, who have been campaigning against traditional gender roles for decades, are now unhappy at men not following traditional gender roles. Make Up Your Fucking Minds.
Unlike most women I like the traditional roles for the most part.
I know how to defend myself and I like guns and video games.
But I also enjoy making sure his dinner is done when he gets home, cooking breakfast and making him a lunch.
I like cleaning the house so that he doesn't have to, and we've talked about me becoming a stay at home mother when we decided to try for children.