Do you think men are becoming too feminine?

Question

A couple guys on my last question said that men are too feminine and weak nowadays. What do you think?

Investigator · Accepted Answer

This is one of those "obviously non-obvious questions", the kind of problem where the solution is simultaneously stupefyingly simple to the point of being an insult that it was asked in the first place and also being incredibly complicated and multi-faceted.

It's very easy to say that "yes, men are more feminine now and yes, men used to be more, well, manly, in the 'way back when'", but then you start asking questions like "well, is it that they are now acting more like women or just less like men" and "how much is 'too much' feminine." A lot of people who, if asked what "real men" used to be like, might give a statement something to the effect of, "When men were more like men, they were tough mentally and physically, calculating and logical to a fault, who did whatever it took to solve the problem and provide for the people around them." To be a man, then, required complete control over one's body and willpower: a "real man" has no time for things that waste his time, his money or his energy. He is a master of his own destiny, he bends the universe to his will. This "mythology of manliness" is awe-inspiring because it sounds like the story of a demigod; what better way to establish the benchmark of masculine energy, than a metaphorical force of nature-a literary superman. That's probably why Hercules (or Heracles, according to the Romans) was depicted as a titan of strength and durability. Therefore, to become more feminine is to get further and further away from this apex of manhood. To be "less of a man" is to be soft and frail, submissive and impotent. However, this is all based on mythology and not biology, fantasy and not reality. It sounds amazing to be world-ending shape shifter, but it just isn't practical.

The other part of this question comes from the statement "Hard times create strong men, strong men create good times, good times create weak men, weak men create hard times." This, too, is basically a testament to manliness; it is taken as gospel that this is just a fact and not simply historical revisionism ("hindsight is 20/20", after all) or the product of some other non-canonical explanation. It sounds good and true, therefore it MUST be true. But that doesn't make it so. Are strong men "strong" because back in Ye Olde Times they were just more manly or was it because of necessity? Obviously, when an invader is trying to conquer you and pillage your resources, you need to be prepared to fight off the impending threat. But training for said impending, invading force doesn't actually make you more powerful in the literal sense; you don't acquire superhuman qualities through lifting weights, you merely become mentally and physically conditioned against pain and suffering. Certainly you get stronger, but your human limitations remain.

All of this is to say that in some ways, yes, men may have become more feminized as the need to overcome insurmountable odds of might has all but for the most part disappeared. Wars are and never have been fought purely by acts of physical strength, they are also won by alliance and diplomacy. Our instincts to survive have not changed, but how we utilize them certainly has. Accordingly, the definition of manliness is also changing. It is becoming less and less about acts of aggression and brute force and more about conscientious leadership and intellectual savvy. Some people believe this is bad because it doesn't comport with the tradition view of what they thought or think a "real man" is. Maybe they are right and we need to back to those days of "hard, gruff, manly men" or perhaps they are wrong and simply haven't come to terms with it. Only time will tell which side prevails.

Lliam · Accepted Answer

I have no idea if men (the masculine gender) in general are becoming increasingly feminized ("too feminine").

When I saw the attached photo, my immediate thought was that there is nothing wrong with men doing things to maintain their skin and remain vibrant and youthful. In the past, that might have been seen as a singularly feminine thing to do, but it wasn't exclusively so. Some men did it but merely didn't talk about it.

But that's not the point of the question. The actual question is: what does it mean to be masculine and are men in general becoming less so?

I think of masculine qualities that include being bold, brash, daring, confident, courageous, strong and powerful, energetic, physically active and competent, competitive, dominant, upright, honorable, dignified and chivalrous.

Do fewer men embody these qualities? If so, why?

One could hypothesize several reasons. A physiological reason might be estrogen-mimicing chemicals like xenoestrogens and BPA in their diets. Also, laboratory studies have proven the effect of such chemicals on the development of fetuses. This would effect modern generations of males and be passed down to future generations.

There is also the massively increased prescription of psychotropic drugs to control what would have, in the past, been considered normal behavior. "He's too wild. We need to medicate him."

And then there are strong sociological factors such as 1) a shortage of positive role models; 2) physical activity being replaced by more sedentary activities; 3) helicopter parenting; 5) less independence with fewer opportunities to play, take risks, explore and push their boundaries; 5) submersion in glitzy commercial culture and divorce from nature; 6) getting shamed and beaten down by the educational system for displaying normal masculine attitudes and behavior; 7) mind-numbing jobs that strip them of dignity and autonomy; 8) androgenous and GBT (gay, bi, trans) role models in music and media; 9) the push to normalize GBT behavior; 10) increased confusion brought about by certain aspects of the feminist movement as to what constitutes acceptable masculine behavior.

These are just a few thing that occurred to me and I'm not saying that every one of them is bad. It's just that they may be contributing factors.

Hamsteroids · Accepted Answer

Maybe not in THAT sense. They’re probably seen this way now because of the wider acceptance of letting men cry and show emotions etc. So a lot of people are seeing this as becoming too feminine due to the broader awareness.

The same goes with the diagnosis of autism for example. Today, people might say “wow, there is so many more autistic diagnoses made than previously years”. But that’s because over time, we’ve learned that there is a spectrum of autism, therefore, more children were diagnosed with it due to that awareness.

So that’s how I see it. Men now are just finally being more comfortable with showing their softer sides 🤷🏽‍♀️

Can_I_Get_a_Do-Over · Accepted Answer

Yes, they are being emasculated, but it’s not all their fault. It’s a bad time to be a man now. They can’t make a move to be friendly or flirt for fear of being attacked or sued. Man bashing needs to stop. Not all men are pigs. Most men are not pigs. And until you’ve been born a male with all the male hormones and lived a life as a male in the US culture, with all the experiences and pressures and expectations of a man to be the perfect balance of soft and hard, give them a break.
Watch this comedian on What Women Want.

SpurtsLove · Answer

I believe many men are becoming less than men. They are boys who have never grown up. They can't handle any heavy machinery, they're afraid of firearms, they are super emotional, can't build a real fire or even know how to survive, and in general seem afraid to get their hands dirty.

I'm a big believer in traditional gender roles. I believe men should be the protector. If they are afraid to even be around weaponry such as firearms and cry like a baby if they have to be around it, how will they protect the woman and children in their life? There is little to no warrior mentality, unless it's in a game!

Some guys are all about "hanging out" because they don't even have the courage to ask a woman out on a respectable date or have her seriously involved in their life. It's more about the video games, cell phone fads, city/college life. There's a serious lack in maturity. They won't work because they believe they are owed money from everyone else so they vote for idiots like Bernie Sanders.

College and all the new age social ideas are poisoning traditional ideas of basic human behaviour and survival.

rjroy3 · Answer

A quick look in history shows that lol. Like there's so much documented evidence of this being true that it's not even really a question. It should be asked "why" are men today more feminine than previous generations.

Gynecomastia (men growing fatty tissue in the tits) has increased over time. It's long known fact that on average men produce 25% less testosterone than their grandfathers. Similar statistics referring to lesser grip strength compared to grandfathers.

We can go by a variety of ways to prove this to be true. Fewer men having children. More testosterone leads to stronger sex drive, more sex, more muscle, more drive to achieve/succeed.

It should be said. Testosterone is the achievement hormone. Estrogen is the empathy hormone. Too much T and you're a jerk. Too much estrogen and you're a overly agreeable pussy. Similar to how women have a very strong reaction to the introduction of Testosterone.

Similarly, men with lower testosterone tend to have a stronger reaction to the estrogen levels in their body. Your hormones literally effect your thoughts, emotions and drives. Hard to say that men are not more feminine today on average. A downside of becoming more and more civilized I guess.

Dongtai · Answer

Strength and femininity aren’t synonymous. I think that’s the biggest factor when it comes to this topic. Certain traits are seen as feminine/masculine and people will peg people as such based on those traits.

Men don’t have to be stereotypically macho to be “men”. All they need is a penis. But you also don’t need to be a guy to possess strength.

You have emotional, physical and mental strength. None of these are exclusive to men but men are typically physically stronger than the average woman.

I think that people today in general lack emotional strength and are often led by feeling versus logic. It’s not exclusive to men. It’s just seen differently based on gender. But that all comes down to stereotyping.

NearlyNapping · Answer

Men and women both are becoming wimps.

We study in history about the trials our ancestors went through. They endured the roughest times. We hold them in awe for having the strength to keep going. They waked hundreds of miles with bleeding bare feet. They endured the horrors of war. They lived through plagues, genocide, slavery, cruel dictatorships, and natural disasters. They lived through the worst of the worst.

But now, people whine about first world problems. They think they can't live without the latest generation phone. They live in the most affluent conditions and complain about how bad they have it.

Bunch of fucking pussies.

Prof_Don · Answer

Yes, although I feel the situation is more about

“men not being masculine enough”, than “men are more feminine”.

Masculinity in the modern first-world is demonized on a socio-political level. Boys can’t play-fight, playfully make fun of each other or play physical in school anymore at school. That type of play is super important because that is historically how boys and young men toughen up each other; steel sharpens steel.

When it comes to the dating world, the risk of facing discipline, financial and/or legal issues for approaching women is the highest it’s ever been. I’ve been a victim of this so I am speaking from experience.

So for men to protect their livelihoods, we have to adapt by not being overly macho anywhere where there are a sizable amount of women... and that includes most workplaces. Otherwise our job security is at risk, and we all know few things are as useless to society as a broke man.

Unit1 · Answer

1) I don't think masculine/masculinity and feminine/femininity are words with a meaning

2) Who or what officially decides what would make men womanly? What would be some examples of womanly men? Wearing a dress? Walking in high heels and pantyhose? Painting their nails?

3) Men have been men. However I don't like the sight of those, who are offended at little things and can't feel normal when a woman outearns them.

Do you think men are becoming too feminine?

Browneye57 · Answer

The ones raised by single mothers are. OMFG
They want them to be just like little girls - they even pull this crap in the schools now, expecting little boys to be JUST like little girls, and when they're not they drug them into compliance.
Sick society we live in. F'ing creepy f'ing women.

Grande_Beefy_Swirl · Answer

What is "too feminine"? You think the guy who grouts your bathroom floor is gonna do a shitty job because of his limp-wrist?
How does it affect you that men are relaxing and being more of THEMSELVES than they could have if they were trying to appease you.

Get over yourself and let people live their lives.

ayananana2332 · Answer

I think we were labeling normal, human traits to be one or the other. A lot of things that people consider feminine or masculine is actually just a human trait everyone has a bit of. So now that men are free to be who they want to be, it's weird when they choose to become what others consider "feminine" since they aren't used to seeing men act that way. But clearly it's natural, otherwise it wouldn't be happening. When you have a group of people who are free to be who they want without social consequence, you can expect to see their true nature. Whatever way the act is who they are. I think what we assumed was feminine is just human.

jaystar · Answer

I think it's fine for guys to embrace their inner femininity. It's okay to do things like I don't know, get pedicures and manicures. It shouldn't be entitled to only women but men too. My husband always helps me out sround the house. I told him before we got married that I don't plan to be his maid and cook and clean for him everyday and if he doesn't like it then he should move on. It's okay to have emotions and express them.

MrOracle · Answer

Yes, but it is a problem that began in the 50s, with WWII-era parents wanting to insulate their kids from the harsh reality of the world. Understandable, but they often went too far, and so Boomer fathers were less likely to be a strong male role model. Gen X repeated the pattern and grew it further. It continues to get worse...

frostwalrus · Answer

In the age of #metoo, where even the slightest display of masculine sexual audacity could land a man in jail, I think it's inevitable that men will become more feminine. And this is purely an observation, not a criticism.

Manlyman1 · Answer

Absolutely. I don't understand what's wrong with them. A lot of men are acting almost like girls.

Maybe it's too many female hormones or other things acting the same way in their bodies.

They're scared of fighting for what they believe in. They're scared of standing out. They're scared of getting into fights. They repeat the same mantras the feminists have taught them. It's like they have no balls. This goes for many Western men but I don't notice it outside the West.

Oram52 · Answer

omen are becoming less feminine too, something guys hate. Its not exactly something guys desire. SO if men are becoming more feminine one has to ask why is it? Likely being raised by single mums, maybe its simply more acceptable. Fact is girls don't like feminine guys.

So as women become less feminine guys also become less masculine.

Anonymous · Answer

Men can't act toward women without threat of severe repercussion that could ruin the man's life.

Therefore men don't act.

I truly wish I grew up before this man hating generation and I could just "be a man" without it being deemed toxic, a mental illness, sexual harassment, etc.

Rocky_Jocky57 · Answer

wasn't there some news thing, that said male testosterone levels today, in America, have gone down a lot?

LeoElias · Answer

Yea, I've seen a lot of guys act like girls in relationships. Seen a lot of dumb dudes want to get married as soon as possible into a new relationship while the girl is being the realistic one and taking it one day at a time. Also noticed a lot of them are super clingy and text a girl so much that it makes her lose interest. I get it. Who wants to date someone who cannot breathe air without you? Sounds super fucking annoying.

MannMitAntworten · Answer

Men have grown to be quite, 'sensitive', these days. 'Some' women may be attracted to that, but overwhelmingly that dries a gal's waterworks when ingrain biological urges fall into play where mating is concerned. Which could be contributing to the drop in birth rates within the Western Civilization.

Thatsamazing · Answer

Other-- if you define for us what exactly that is supposed to mean, like how it would be measured and quantified (as in, what is "feminine" behavior as opposed to what is "masculine" behavior), we would be able to answer more accurately. Also when this alleged beginning of this behavior started to take place.

theceejmachine · Answer

Absolutely. Feminism has resulted in the emasculation of men. But I mean, what else can we expect from a society that can accuse men of sexual assault without any actual proof of it.

KillianK · Answer

I do not believe that we are getting weaker, but I do think we're a little scared though. At any moment, one wrong word, an accidental touch, suddenly our lives are potentially ruined. Now, I'm not saying that powerful men haven't taken advantage over people, in fact I believe it happens quite a lot, but I also know that plenty of times the accusations were false or the courts over reacted to something that was in fact an accident.

wankiam · Answer

every generation asks this and its never proved to be the case.

Anonymous · Answer

ROFL. Of course they are.

Real men are a dying breed. And I am not talking "macho" men but guys that'd hold the door, etc.

Now you've got "men" who are more concerned about their appearances than females. And are either too lazy or too ignorant to hold a door, etc. All of it speaks poorly of them.

Mdwakel · Answer

Women are acting like men as well.
The way of talking the way of clothing I don't wanna woman be weak but she doesn't lose her softness and feminist.
And we're not living in the stone Age , so it sounds normal for a man to take care about his health and look.

jasco · Answer

honestly i dont think i am a girl in anyway yea i am weak but thats due to other reasons not cause i think i am girly idc for girly things and stuff like that but i mean if it came down it and i had to do i do my gfs make up or take it off for her if she wanted me to other then that nah

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

Yes, we wash clothes, do dishes , cook family dinners so yes we are doing things that normally women would do but hey people can call me what they want.

zaharaa · Answer

I think they are more feminine than they used to be

Amaoctober · Answer

Last I checked, we are now on gender equality, men are becoming women by 50%. Women are too becoming men by the same percentage. So yeah, men are becoming weak and women are becoming strong. This never used to happen back then, a woman is the head of the house. That is what it is when you mess up TRADITIONS.

leahzrc · Answer

this question is asked too often. I don't understand why feminine means weak. I am strong and I don't look or sound like a man, but since I am not weak, I am masculine?

VeggiePizzaDude · Answer

The more feminine other men become, the less competition I have as a masculine man. Anyone who complains about men becoming less manly must be gay and lamenting the lack of lumberjacks and uniformed men in shiny black boots to lick.

devilman666 · Answer

It's called gender equality and the end of gender norms. Men dont have to be traditionally manly anymore, the same way women no longer have to be traditionally feminine.

DeeDeeDeVour · Answer

Yes and many turn out like this   "Soy Boy!"

edendelion · Answer

Ehhhh... More like the other way around: women are becoming more masculine... perhaps this generation is just losing the solidity of masculinity and femininity.

Anonymous · Answer

Yes, and I hate it. Be emotional. Communicate. Be loving. I don’t care. But I draw the line at wearing nail polish, wanting me to fuck your ass, make up, etc.

hahahmm · Answer

Some guys are. It’s what feminists & simps (guys who azz kiss women at every chance) wanted. They wanted guys to think like women.

haroonaslam · Answer

If they express their feelings than they are not becoming feminine they emotions too

Pipeliner87 · Answer

Complete push overs where you could walk all over them. Non would stand up to protect a girl in need.

Anonymous · Answer

I don't think so. For so long men have been expected to hide their emotions, and pretend to be emotionless, or else their considered too feminine. Men should be able to express their feelings as much as women! It's only fair.

pervertedjester · Answer

George Carlin nailed this thought down back in '99  And it's only gotten worse since then.

RHK36 · Answer

Yes, but that's just due to society pushing men to behave a certain way. Not all men are like this or want to go with that mindset, but it seems to be trending in that direction.

DiscomfortZone · Answer

Not men in general, mostly just allies of the feminazi cult. And they too only do that in hopes of hooking up with a feminazi (which imho is a sick perversion but hey, no kink shaming), so it doesn't really count I guess...

Agape93 · Answer

No way. They’re becoming more like their real selves

redcheeks · Answer

Yessssssss and in another part, some try to be too "macho" or "manly" which is like bruhh cmon

Anonymous · Answer

A lot of men have become pathetic soy bitches.
But it's because we have a society run by feminist and the school system teaches the feminist anti-male bullshit and treats maleness like a bad thing. Indoctrinating it out of males.

Anonymous · Answer

Life sucks if you’re a man. Everything is better about being a woman. You girls can express yourselves as you like, you’re really desired by men, so much attention, closest to your children, have a line of dudes waiting even if you’re not that pretty. Being a man sucks. It’s a LONELY thing to be.

GloriaMc · Answer

I think it's the way we been shaped up by our parents or the one that looks after us when just a kid the influences around us pays heaps of impact but then again its a choice what we want to become.

cyclopspanda · Answer

Its true men are too feminine nowadays, but isn't that what so many women say they want? I believe a contributing factor is single mother raising boys.

Aiko_E_Lara · Answer

Men only started becoming "feminine" things got gendered.

Ceasar97 · Answer

I think some of them are. I don't know if they are too feminine, but they are much more feminine.

COMMODOREII · Answer

That is absurd to think men are becoming more feminine. It just doesn't jive. So now if you excuse me I'm getting my nails done. 😜😎

lucian_lucian_123 · Answer

This is just a very stupid question I see appearing repeatedly in media. No, men are just men, and are not becoming feminine. What exactly means they become feminine?

rajesh_leo · Answer

Yes they are, at least on television and in films. It seems every other guy is dying to wear makeup and ladies attire to entertain people as if they don't have anything better to do. Over exposure to such content makes me switch off my television.

MoscowMitch · Answer

Yes and it's a direct result of the softening effect of civilized society. In a harsher age those individuals would be weeded out by natural selection. To a degree they still are, because they don't tend to reproduce.

mk200195 · Answer

Well those who are, are just being open about these days

Reaperbot666 · Answer

Big part of it. Is due to the whole metrosexual movement a while back.

Creepazoid · Answer

Yes they are. lol I can't believe everyone is getting high amount of opinions except me!!! 😔 lol oh well🤷‍♂️ haha

Anonymous · Answer

No, I honestly hope the stereotypically macho man dies once and for all. If that means becoming "feminine" for some idiots then so be it.

anandamide · Answer

Being weak isn’t a feminine or masculine thing, first of all. Second of all, toxic masculinity is a social construct which is toxic for boys and men, and it is good that men can express their true selves more and more

Ninjazzed · Answer

Yes and no. Is this limited to gay or straight men? 🤔

datgirl · Answer

Yes, i do. Which is why its so hard for me to find a man for a long term commitment

Do you think men are becoming too feminine?

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