She stares but never smiles

This was such a weird situation that it took me a while to realize it. I sit on one side of the room during class, and this girl, who's never spoken a word to me yet I've seen a bunch in my other classes, sits all the way on the other side. But we're in the same row. She ALWAYS stares at me, but she doesn't smile. She just stares. All through class.

Eventually I started looking at her back every so often, and she just stares. But her face is straight, blank. I don't get it at all.


Most Helpful Girl

  • She's possibly socially inept due to some type of trauma she's experienced in the last few years. Not dating trauma, but family trauma. The expressionless stare you are describing is classic to PTSD. Two of the" many possible things" that could be going on in her mind are 1. you have a gentle nature/soul, or something about you that appears "safe" or "trustworthy", Humans are social creatures and will reach out to/or be drawn to whoever might give them the interaction/attention needed. Due to past bonding issues she could lack the normal social cues most people are accustomed to. The other possible is 2. You may look similar to someone closely tied to the trauma in her past and she is hyper focused on the resemblance and possibly having flashbacks of it. Flashbacks often occur as blank, numb, flat effect/expressions. The eye's may draw down or drop often, they will darken as pupils dilate, their shoulders will either tense/draw together somewhat or just drop and slump forward, this usually is accompanied by a "sheet white or greenish hue" that blankets the face {like the color drained out}. In persons with darker skin it can take on a slightly washed out or yellowish hue. The voice tone, and pitch will suddenly lower and sound expressionless, if they are able to talk at all. Flashbacks can take on many different forms. I hope some of this is helpful to you. And if I were in your situation, I would simply approach her after class away from the earshot of others and tell her you've noticed her staring and are just wondering what's on her mind and go from there.


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What Girls Said 1

  • I always stare at my crush like that. Like, my face is just blank. Everytime I see him, e.g. sitting in a hall, I just stand and stare. It's because he's the most beautiful guy I've ever seen and I can't help but stare. And the reason why I don't smile, is because I'm afraid. What if he doesn't smile back :D Have you tried smiling at her?

    • I doubt I can have that effect on any girl. I'm a very average looking guy.

    • If she always stares directly at you, then I'm pretty certain she's interested. And just because you think you're average looking, doesn't mean she thinks so too.

What Guys Said 1

  • I got the same deal going on with this girl. Stares and stares and when I look back it will be a blank stare but then a quick head turn or look down.

    My guess is as good as yours, but I say it's shyness and she's crushing hard on you.

    I approached my girl and actually got rejected when I tried to ask her out. But when I did it she seemed freaked out more than anything, so who knows what's going on...

    I say you need to go over to her and say hi. Don't be surprised if you get a negative response, but also do not take it personally. If she really likes you she might be so nervous she'll say anything just to get away from you as crazy as that sounds.

    Start with hello and see how she responds. I recommend going slow. I went in too hard with mine and I got my walking papers.