Is it normal for guys to have bicurious thoughts?

[staywet637]

I've been married for over 10 years and I have caught my husband emailing guys several of times saying how he's bicurious but he won't ever admit anything to me. the only answer I have ever got from him about why he would email guys is because he just wanted attention and compliments which I think is bs but I would've never expected this from him so is normal for straight guys to be bicurious?

[Anonymous]

Women seem to be able to have Bicurious relationships with other girls. I've been with several 'OPENLY' bisexual ladies, and it never gave me a second thought!! She can get different feelings, sexual things, from another woman, that I don't understand, or don't know, yet. I would prefer that she shares these with me, but I am not what she needs, then. I am not offended, or conflicted, if she likes some intimate play with close female friends, feeling what she wants. How CRUEL, would it be, for me to tell her that she cannot enjoy what she wants, with the friends that she wants, and I know!
NO!! I don't want to watch, or need to! That is her JOY, and she is entitled to it. What kind of a horrible person would deny someone their feelings? She isn't going to get pregnant, or get a disease!
Why is it so different for guys?
Personally, I have never felt this, or wanted to be with another guy. He most likely isn't gay, at all, but just has some feeling, some desire, that started in a fantasy! Most likely, the first time he tries to act it out, it won't be at all, like the fantasy, and it will be over!!
We are all sexual beings, and have fantasies!! I'm sure you have had some that you wouldn't share with him!!
Encourage him to share his fantasy play, and maybe, like I said, it will just pass, as something, some thing he felt watching some porn!! Then it is over.
Why is it a big deal to you?
What if he finds a guy friend, and they do 'guy things' like go to a game, or shoot guns, or whatever? What if they do something more intimate, together?
Does that make you any less his wife, or make you love him less, having this other 'feeling'? Is he really 'cheating,' if he is playing with another guy?
I DOUBT that he will find some guy that steals his heart, and take him away from you!!!
The worst thing that you can do is hate it, and argue with him!! He will do it secretly, and destroy the trust, in your relationship!!
He is obviously unsure, and maybe a little embarrassed, about his feelings!! Just talk to him, OPENLY, NON-JUDGEMENTALLY!!!
Ask him how he feels, but don't judge, or hate!! Ask him why he likes emailing those guys, and don't settle for 'I don't know' and BS answers! Be open, and don't judge.

[staywet637]

I totally agree with u. once I seen he was trying to meet up with a guy at my job that was my breaking point. not only trying to meet up n cheat on me but at my job that was totally heartless. plus he turns me down a lot when it comes to sex and now all this is just messing with my head.

[Opinion Owner]

So you think he is really interested in guys, and going 'Gay'? Do you feel like he is 'cheating' on you with guys?

[staywet637]

well by the emails he was sending I would say he is interested in guys but gay I don't know cuz I know he hasn't actually done anything with a guy.

[Opinion Owner]

Can we take this offline, so the whole world isn't reading? I think you still love him, and need to figure this out?

[AnaWryneck]

Being Bi does not give you a excuse to cheat

[staywet637]

how do I take it off? lol

[Opinion Owner]

I'll Follow you, and send you a greeting

[Opinion Owner]

Didn't work, as you only receive from followers.
Add me, SomeGuy37

[TheBootyChest]

I don't see why it can't be normal.

I think sometimes guys just want to get an honest opinion from a guy. Sometimes guys can feel like the woman they are with will compliment them so his manhood isn't cheapened.

I hope you don't mind me saying this but... I don't know if he feels 100% comfortable with what is going on in his own head to say anything about it and wants to keep it to himself till he has an answer.

How do you feel about him maybe being bicurious?

[staywet637]

thanks for ur opinion and to answer ur question I think that if he would've been honest with me I would've accepted it but he gets mad at me when he gets caught and keeps promising he will stop n doesn't stop. He just denies everything even when I show him his emails.

[TheBootyChest]

If I was in your situation or if he was my friend, instead of trying to get him to admit he is bicurious just talk about some guys you see like it's no big deal. And don't expect a response right away. Or something like this.

I think maybe he just needs to know he isn't being judged or pressured to admit this about himself right away.

If he is just fishing for compliments from men, just think about how you enjoy hearing other ladies tell you how fabulous you look. I mean don't women occasionally complement other ladies on their figures or body parts in private conversations?

[staywet637]

well I have been dealing with this for almost 5 years now so all I truly want is honesty. our marriage is way too damaged to even try to work it out but I just need to try to understand where he is coming from to forgive him and have a good relationship for our kids but am way too hurt

[TheBootyChest]

I can see how many of those factor can complicate this situation. Maybe there are some other things that can be healed first before asking for honesty in this particular situation.

"IF" you guys aren't having sex then I can see why he wouldn't want to be as open about any possible attraction to other men if that is the case.

[Anonymous]

My first husband an I did not work out because he did not know how to tell me he was bi and he did not want to hurt me you should talk about this more if your ok with that life style then inbrace it let him experience it then he will decide if it's right or not an if your ok with it you would then have a more livening husband and a new boyfriend best wishes with this and please don't hate him for it you two need to really sit down an talk this threw an try to keep a open mind

[AnaWryneck]

I always found the word bicurious to be funny and I'm a pansexual thing is once you go there you're bi guy or girl he's not straight he is indeed bi and needs to
1. Accept/ embrace it
2. Stop using it as an excuse to cheat
Because that's some cheating stuff you have to have a discussion with him like let him know if that's who you are w. e but this is cheating and it is wrong

[staywet637]

I have broke down and asked him to let me know if am not what he wants and he swore I was but continued with the emails so I really just feel used.

[AnaWryneck]

No one is going to open up to someone whose crying he feels bad and probably guilty this is an if it looks like a duck situation so if you're okay with the fact that he is no just tell him I'm fine with it but I'm not fine with you cheating on me just because it's not other women doesn't mean it's okay if you're not okay with it you should leave

[staywet637]

to be honest with u every single time I caught him he would treat me like I was nobody and would totally disrespect me saying anyone is better then me, and that he doesn't care if am dead or alive , or to go find someone cuz he doesn't care for me. so I did and he basically didn't want to work it out he just didn't want me with anyone else. at times I feel like he is just using me to hide who he really is.

[AnaWryneck]

Hearing that and I feel you're right it would be one thing if he was who he was and kind and scared but that is fucked up and verbal abuse leave him don't be a beard for someone let alone someone treating you like that you don't want to wake up in your 60s having wasted your life

[staywet637]

thank u I really appreciate it. I think what has made it harder for me to actually file for divorce is the fact the I still love him and want to be with him but I am tired of being unhappy.

[AnaWryneck]

Thing is divorce doesn't mean you don't love someone it means you know a situation is unhealthy and they don't love you and those words you're saying he says shows you he doesn't even if he's nice after that you couldn't speak like that to someone you really care about unless you're disturbed

[nothingtosee]

I think dating you would be hot. I mean, I love the idea of you telling me that you find a certain woman hot and you want to go to bed with her. I would probably even help you by telling her that you're interested in her and that you want to make love to her. I also like the idea of you surprising me by telling me (while we're having sex) that you had sex with her and if it was good. I also like the idea of the three of us having date night. During our date, you making out with both of us.

[JonDoe1985]

There is a chance it's BS, however, odds are, it's total BS and he's afraid to admit it. I'm straight and bi-curious. However, my wife doesn't know, and I'd never tell her. I love her to death, but that's obviously a desire she could never full-fill (and I know she's not into that kind of thing at all). I've done similar things where I'll email, or post online personals. I'll snag a few hits, but I always chicken out (mostly out of respect for my wife - if you don't think I have respect for doing that anyway). If you're into the idea, you should maybe suggest bringing in another guy in. Could be fun for you both. However, it it really bother's you, you should probably start thinking of an exit strategy.

[FemWorship]

YES when in K-6
NO when older but exceptions abound e. g. ref. life stories of
Rock Hudson during his Navy times
Tab Hunter
James Dean
etc.
Some will say it's because they are courted instead of having to court + more flattering than gals, etc. ?

[Jackblue]

I have them, I won't want to actually go through with it though. Your hubby is not being a very good husband.

[staywet637]

he has told me that there just emails & he's not cheating cuz it's never been in person.

[Jackblue]

Still he is indicating a desire to have a relationship with these men, if I understand what you are saying correctly.

[staywet637]

Yeah that's how I see it

[ladsin]

Over 70% of males admitted to having some homoerotic thoughts at some point in their life. (I can't find the study so don't ask, I just remember that stat from one of my psych professors)

[Anonymous]

Yeah, but a lot of women can't handle that and freak out. Most of my gf's were thinking I'm secretly gay and wouldn't believe me that it's just something I'm into from time to time just for fun (I'm not romantically interested in men).
So now I don't tell them anymore.

[AimeeKyle]

I don’t believe thinking about a bisexual encounter is abnormal. More have thought about it than would ever admit. Talking about Bicurious thoughts with another guy is rare and actually trying bisexual activities can be stressful as we’ve all been told it was bad / inappropriate.

I have had Bicurious thoughts since I was younger. I did finally try a few things…. it was stressful getting started but ended up to be pretty fun.

[Theforgottenlife]

Have i ever look at a guy and thought, he's better looking then me? YES. Did i have sexual thought about him. HELL NO! I only like girls sorry but ur husband is a fruit

[HarryJBenton]

It's neither normal nor extremely rare. He might be bisexual or just curious. Or he might be gay and in denial. I've heard it said that sexuality is a spectrum. It sounds like your husband is in the middle somewhere. Would it be true to say your sex life is unsatisfactory?

[ladsin]

The vast majority of people score somewhere on the spectrum, very few people score exclusively homo or hetero

[I-am-a-nobody]

No, and I don't want attention and compliments from men, either.

[VirginiaBeachBum]

Most guys do at some point, although very few will admit it.

[Bolton252]

My wife and i are working on this situation as we speak, a lot further along and we have advice that will help if its not too late. I just honestly dont want to answer anon and i can't message yet..

[Morning-Star]

No, it's not normal. Nor is it normal for you to be going through his personal emails, so I guess neither of you are perfect.

[Belgie]

It's within the bounds of what we laughingly call normal.

[Pete671]

I think most if not all guys have at least thought about it, perhaps more guys have experimented than would admit it,,,

[realworld2017]

Nope, nothing normal about gay or bi guys. Only 2% of guys are really gay or bi no matter what public schools try and turn boys into.

[Brah63926]

Most girls are straight not bisexual. Williams Institute ucla study found only 2 percent of women identify as bisexual over 96 percent are straight

[realworld2017]

@Brah63926 That is not what I have seen in real world. Most women are attracted to beautiful women just like guys are. Some women will kiss and lick women and still not say they are bi. I really don't know any straight pretty women these days. Of course I like erotic women only so that may have something to do with it.

[taurineman90]

Wrong maybe you are hanging out with club girls in reality most girls don't even kiss another girl. Girls are attracted to men not women. Noticing someone beautiful man or female does not dictate sexual orientation you dumb pussy bitch. Looking at statistics only 10% of women ever have a sexual encounter with another woman and that includes one time incidents and also includes bisexual and lesbian women focus only on straight women and the number drops significantly. Blocked you pussy. Have a nice day in dream porno land where you live.

[taurineman90]

@realworld2017 your name should be pornoland

[realworld2017]

@taurineman90 X-Art baby! My name should be X-Art.

[JoanneJohnston]

I think so, all my life I would dress as a girl & look for men to be with

[EdwardSuffolk]

I don't think it is so rare at all, and the best response is to be loving about it.

[Anonymous]

I have bad news for you...

[realperson02]

I am straight. no curiosity.

[FroggyDoggy96]

I would say no.

[Anonymous]

no, it is not normal.

[GingerGuy]

No it's not.

[Anonymous]

I think it is normal

[Sabretooth]

No, it's not

[Anonymous]

not normal