He's got a very tough wall up how do you get past it?
Most Helpful Guy
As a man who had a very considerate woman who put up with the walls I threw at her for years, you can't. Either he will let them down after you show how patient, considerate, and sympathetic/empathetic you are, or he won't let them down out of fear of being hurt. The only reason I've ever seen people in general raise those walls is because in their personal past they've been emotionally damaged to a point where they were almost broken and they don't want to be there again. Its not fair for either one of those involved with the relationship because if both parties aren't fully invested they'll never truly know how WONDERFUL it can be when its not two SEPARATE people; when they are fully together and SHARE life experience. Just be careful, because you'll never know what will be the first to break: those walls or you.18
Most Helpful Girl
Be gentle, don't try to argue with him about everything (let little things fly--if it won't make a difference in ten years, don't bother trying to pick a bone with him). But if you have to disagree, do so RESPECTFULLY, and don't nag him. You see it's not what you say it's HOW you say it. For example, if a guy always leaves his socks on the floor don't say "IM SICK AND TIRED IF PICKING UO YOUR DAMN SOCKS EVERYDAY! Stop leaving them all over the floor, you slob!" This alone will make him resent you, maybe not if you do it once, but if it's don't constantly. Instead, there's a more expedient approach: "honey, it really hurts me when socks are on the floor 😔 It upsets me because I like a clean home and having socks on the floor ruins it for me. So for me, can you please, please try to put them in the laundry bin after your done resting when you come home from work? Thank you babe" and follow that with a kiss on his cheek. See, no one gets mad and socks get off the floor :) just little things like this will make him see how soft you are and that he can find comfort when he's around you.
Cook his favorite meals, make him his favorite drink--this will show him that you care about his needs
Ask for his opinions on given topics such as morals he follows etc etc. this will show him that you care what he believes.
When he's telling you his problems, don't cut him off, he's already stressed don't add to it! Instead, let him finish completely and then offer your opinion. Never pick someone else's side though when he's complaining about them.
Don't force him to talk when he doesn't feel like it. You might drive him away. Let him feel comfortable coming to you when he wants to.
Share secrets/fears, it makes people bond!
And most of all, good luck:)7