If a guy does not approach you, he doesn't like you?

Even after showing signs of liking and being nice to you. Saw this video and it got me thinking. What do you guys think?


  • Yes most likely
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  • No not necessarily
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Select a gender to cast your vote:
I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Guys are afraid of rejection too. We also ask things like, "Why won't she talk to me," and other things like that. Also, when we want to approach a girl, we kind of want her to be alone. Just in case we do get rejected, there won't be any witnesses of our momentary weakness. When a guy stares at a girl he likes, he might be thinking of her inappropriately, OR he might be thinking of a way to approach her, and ultimately fail when the time comes. And this process of planning how to approach needs to be perfect so that we don't approach and look stupid. We try to keep hold of our pride as long as possible, you know. That's not something we can just pick right off of the ground.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Matthew Hussey is my spirit animal, he knows he's shit!

    No, all guys do not approach women they like, because they're too shy or can't find the right moment. I think that's where women should step in. If you see someone showing signs they like you, but are hesitant to approach you, make it the right moment! Approach him instead or show him fool proof signs it's okay to approach.

    Women are so confusing that guys find it hard to know when we are approachable and when we are not. We need to make it easier or do the approaching ourselves, or more and more guys will fall short on approaching girls they like, because they just can't do it for whatever reason.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 34

  • Totally false. I hate approaching and always have... to the point I don't usually. Very few times and always been a bad experience.

    Guys can have all the same thoughts, feelings and insecurities women do, yet we're "expected" not to because we're "the man"... seriously? wtf? How does this make any sense? The thoughts a lot of woman have of "if he likes you enough, he'll approach" or "guys love the chase" are TOTALLY false!!! Some maybe but certainly not all, or even most I'd say.

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  • I am a shy guy and to make matters worse I am socially awkward. It is how God made me, and I have learned to accept it. Watching this video, I am the guy who needs the "perfect moment", who doesn't want to creep the girl out but does anyways, who needs to see a girl single without a man by her side, who needs to sense that she is inviting him to at least say hello to her at the club, but I wait too long and some guy moves in to steal her away from me. I am that guy, but my situation seems more disadvantaged and my life experiences are a result of this.

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  • There's barriers to approaching women for most men, the fear of rejection is extremely worrying and plays on mens neuroticism. This means is provokes fear and a lot of anxiety, and these negative emotions can be strong enough to prevent men from initiating contact.

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  • This guy speaks the truth.

    Maybe the numbers vary a bit, maybe I'd phrase things different (though I've made this case many times on here and have indeed used the word ridiculous a whole lot), but overall, basically everything that came out of this guy's face is legit.

    And honestly that guy's whole rant is my internal monologue whenever I have to read or hear that "if he doesn't approach, he's not worth my time" or if he doesn't approach it's obviously because he doesn't like me"(it's an excuse so you can say "I don't have to do anything here")
    It's a prevalent attitude and obviously doesn't help the situation at all, but for some reason it's not recognized as your reflexive rationalization that is there not to actually deal with anything or help you understand the situation, it's to make yourself feel better with an easy cop out.

    Hopefully this isn't taken as antagonistic. I'm really just trying to flesh this out, though with so many things the internet can't help but read things in the most negative light.

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  • The video was very accurate from my point of view. Worried ill look like a creep, assuming thats her boyfriend, i know all her other friends are gonna judge me, she looks super busy: I've thought everyone of those at some point. That toppled with my struggle to get over my personal insecurities, its a wonder i even talk to women.

    The only thing women need to worry about interms of this video is being forward enough. Smiling at me may not be enough. You dont know how dense i am and being hit on isn't something guys experience all the time, so being able to tell the signs isn't easy.

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    • What if I add him on facebook?

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    • LOL definitely not that desperate haha.. and thanks for your opinion.

    • Okay added him on fb. He accepted shortly after and sent a message "Hi, nice to see you on fb 😊"!!

  • Hard to tell. If he is a shy guy, then he will likely not approach. If he is the confident type, he will.

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  • Almost everyone, men, women, have trouble approaching people with whom they are interested. Especially when it comes to approaching someone, they may feel intimidated, self-conscious, shy, vulnerable, and aren't really sure how to act or what to do in that particular situation. Just because a person doesn't approach you, it doesn't mean they are not interested. Some people have more self-confidence than others, and are more practiced at approaching another person, but the vast majority of people, both men and women, are not that type of a person, even if others find them extremely attractive, that may not be how they see themselves regardless.

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  • The problem nowadays is that men no longer feel its worth the risk to approach a woman, especially with how anti-male society is turning. This 'rape hysteria' culture on top of feminism makes it feel more dangerous and risky for men to cold approach that stranger, especially so if she's with someone, listening to music, or anything else.

    Women have two options:
    1. Make themselves way easily more available by opening up space for us guys to approach.
    2. Approach guys themselves.

    Frankly, the latter option is much, MUCH more likely to land you ladies dates. Guys are leagues more receptive to advances from women than vice versa, especially if she's blunt and straight forward.

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    • But then they comsider such women "easy" and desperate!

    • This is actually quite good advice. The dating website OKCupid has done a lot of research on the behaviour of men and women and they found that women have a large advantage when dating if they are prepared to make first contact with men, and there's good evidence to believe it's true.

    • @candyaurora That's really a myth.

  • [sarcasm mode on] Yes: ALL men have this superpower where we are 100% fearless and can strike up smooth conversation with complete strangers. Each and every one of us. [sarcasm mode off]

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    • What if you are not complete strangers as such? What if you are colleagues, family friend, classmates etc?

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    • Ok thank you for your opinion. I feel I do have an intimidating (unintentionally!) feel, I am not rude but I am very opinionated and analytical and sometimes may give unpopular opinions 😕

    • Yes, maybe you appear hostile to them, but remember it's often more about your body language and tone of your voice than about the words you say.

  • Many men won't approach a girl they like, due to a fear of rejection. It's a common fear, and in some cases a stupid fear, but it's a fear nonetheless. If you think a guy is showing signs that he likes you, try to show signs that you like him back. This will ease his fear and in some cases eliminate it entirely.

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    • Wow, this smart at age 14 (if that's accurate). I didn't get this till 28.

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    • Signs like? can't show myself too needy!

    • just try to make home realize you like him back. Try staring at him from across the room. Stare just until he notices your staring then quickly look away. this normally works

  • Observing behavior and considering whether you're going to end up helping build the road, or slowly take sledgehammers to it while it's being built.

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    • How can I help build the road? I admit I am pathetic when it comes to such things

    • Taking the responsibility of life, all it's done and has to offer, the good and the bad upon yourself voluntarily to work for the better of this world.

      This is a process and took me months to get a grip on. I had to experience the worst humanity has to offer to get there to.

  • Stopped at 3:40, true what he says in my opinion. If a guy doesn't approach you, it doesn't mean he doesn't like you, what he said.

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  • I don't approach women. if she doesn't like me she can have me thrown in jail, I don't care how hot you are you aren't worth that risk.

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  • i only watched the first minute and a half but he's absolutely right.

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  • A lot of men don't like women. It's called MGTOW. We are accused of hating women. To be honest we are tired of the bullshit. Before it's men are creeps but now it's hating women. You women are driving men away by taking us for granted. When you women hit the wall all of a sudden you changed your mind but we men have moved on. Now it's your women that will suffer.

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  • Not necessarily

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  • Not necessarily. There are dozens of factors. Shyness, history of rejection, anxiety. Perhaps he is nervous as it is, and then in his head he jumps to the conclusion that you will reject him, and thinks "why bother?"

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  • I never approach any women now, even if i like her.

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  • jesus, girls are so fucking entitled

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  • Even if he approaches you does not guarantee he likes you. Most men just want in her pants.

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  • no that's not true

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  • If you like him shouldn't you be the one that goes up to him or do us men have to do everything?

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  • not true.

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  • he could just be shy.

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  • People can be stupid. Or just not notice.

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  • No not necessarily

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  • No. Men don't approach for the same reasons women don't.

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  • I never approach any woman. I don't "chase" at all.

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  • I think I'm glad more guys don't approach because it makes me even more successful.

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  • lol def not tru, a guy can like a girl and not approach her, maybe he isn't looking for a relationship at the moment, or he doesn't feel like asking. Either way, answer is no

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What Girls Said 10

  • It's not always true. Yes, guys often approach girls they like, but so do girls. This isn't a gender thing, it is a human and individual choice thing. I overall say that if a guy likes you chose to do nothing, 9/10x he is not as serious about you as he makes it. Because if a go getter is not allowing ANYTHING to stop him/her, then what is stopping him/her from approaching you? Either, they have to wrong intentions, see your not as compatible as they thought you'd be, or they are just crushing. And have no interest in dating. People overall who do nothing don't get a partner or married, it's just that simple.

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  • For the most part I would say yes, if he's interested in you he will approach you. But it could be that - for him - you haven shown enough signs that you are interested to make him comfortable to approach. Does that make sense?
    Or he's shy and is doing his best to work up the courage. Could be a few reasons why he doesn't approach and still be interested...

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  • He could just be shy, or inexperienced and waiting for you to make the first move.

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    • Maybe... all my life I have been led into thinking that if a guy likes you he will make the first move or ask you out!

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    • You're welcome :)

    • Just to add.. He could be in the same frame of mind as you. He may be wondering why you haven't approached him. Most guys these days feel comfortable with girls making the first most. Times have changed so much

  • That video made a lot of sense.

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  • I believe it so tht if he does not approach is as simple as he is not interested. Is either black or white there are no things in between.

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  • A lot of guys are shy or inexperienced. My bff's boyfriend didn't approach her but he was crazy over her and was being peacock around her until she finally approached him.
    Some guys are just insecure or inexperienced and want the girl to start.

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  • Lol most guys are nervous, shy or can't be bothered. To be honest we are kinda scary :P

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  • no there are always the beta losers that are never approaching cause they are afraid of women. i mean what do we have that is scary, we are adorable!

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    • you got the sarcasm in that last sentence didn't you? i should include ("she gives off a creepy/murderous look" after adorable to make it more understandable.)

    • Agreed, approaching gives men the power I don't understand why men want to give that up.

  • He farted

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  • Most likely but not always... he could be painfully shy or taken. Either way he's unavailable

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