Why don't men understand that no means no? (Page 2)
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Because they don't know if you really reject him or just "playing hard to get". Because of that if you don't want him and he is being really clingy and bothering to you show your dangerous side to him. And even reject him so hard... That type of situation happened to me and really, the only way to get rid of them is being super harsh... Sorry boys 😅😅
The immature jackass guys think that if they got a no now that the girl was just not in the right mood, so try again later and maybe shell be in the right mood. Or maybe she just needs more time before it happens so try again later when she might be ready
I don't know if I'm lucky but I've never encountered men like that in my life. All the guys I know have always been respectful and protective of me. So it's wrong to paint all men in such negative light, when the vast majority of guys don't act that way.
Simple. When it comes to women, sometimes no means no. Sometimes no means "try again because I'm playing games with you."
It's just life. A lot of girls play games and reject you or dump you to "test" you.
Yep women love to test. It gives them a sense of power and validation. Hate that shit.
@somewheresomeway yep, same with some men, they test women too, doing "push and pull tactics" to test and manipulate them.
@HesaidShesaidNO I'm not saying men are beyond reproach, but for the most part women are WAY more choosy and naturally employ "tests" to see how centered a guy is. Most of them do it without even knowing it. Men on the otherhand do NOT subconsciously test women but some of the smarter ones will play games to avoid looking too easy/available.
Some men believe that "no" doesn't always mean "no." And apparently, some women do play hard to get and want a guy to persist after being told no. But you can't assume another person's desires, you have to take them at their word. If people wouldn't look down on women who openly expressed their desires, women wouldn't play those stupid games.
It's mostly girls who do that.
And as for the guys who do it, 9 times out of 11 and a half, they're the type who really aren't worth your time.
@FýrdracaDócincel Nobody who does that is worth your time in my opinion.
Then they really ought to start sharing your opinion.
MANY but NOT ALL men know no means no. Me understanding the word no is how me and my ex ended up together. She told me no at first. I said OK and due to that she was impressed and surprised. So much so that she got to know me and we had an awesome relationship. Broke up mainly because of going diff ways in life and especially because I moved. We talk still once in a while. Its a lesson I tell many guys wanting a relationship so badly. Hope it the lesson spreads.
I'll sympathize with this more when "sure, we'll get back to that on [x] date" means something other than "don't bet on it, and count on a sermon if you hold me to my spoken word."
If I don't keep my word, I'm painted as some horrific ruffian. If she doesn't keep her word, then no matter how much I'm screwed, I'm some horrific ruffian if I demand to at least hear an explanation as to why I got screwed over.
F* that!
Seeing as that dude blocked me because I didn't agree with him, I will reply to you here.
You are right, we are reading completely different books, I am referring to the question that was asked and you guys are talking about something completely different. What you're saying does happen and it's a real issue but in this thread what we should be talking about is men who can't take no for answer, that's the issue at hand here. If you'd like to talk about the issue you're raising then you should start another thread.
I'm not sure why you guys are finding that difficult to understand that, you haven't actually answered the question that was asked.. you guys have just brought up a different issue.
This is simply about those men that don't take no for an answer, the men that continue to pester women after they've clearly stated they are not interested.
So maybe you need to pick up this book and focus on this topic in this thread.
@pretty-kitty: He blocked you anyway? Sheesh! Seems the harder I try to put out the fires with reason, the angrier the unreasonable get. I must be the worst firefighter ever. :-/
The question was not worded very well, and that leads to hang-ups, as men feel needlessly personally accused. That the kind of woman I'm talking about has hurt a lot of these men only makes things worse, as the non-predatory continue to feel they need to defend themselves from a snipe attack, even if there is no snipe attack.
As for trying to understand the psychology of a rapist: I was told in college there are only two types you need to know about.
1. The Rotten Apple.
He needs control, and knows how to get it. Usually targets loved ones.
2. The Sociopathic Satyr.
He wants sex. He's addicted. It's taken over his mind. Nothing else exists to him. All there is, is the next screw. Every woman is a pump-n-dump station, nothing more. Targets strangers. Super dangerous.
In what context? Sexually? Ugh... Most men do know that no means no. I've never met a men that didn't. Why are you generalizing over a few assholes? There's no such thing as rape culture.
Women are manipulative by nature, they will lead you to do actions that will ultimately benefit them. A woman is more likely to lie about life altering situations than a man. Men resent it when women (insert mother/wife) catch their lies about not taking our garbage, or breaking diet and making it into a big deal. The resentment is real and is often slipped under the rug for a very long time. When they have enough of it they become numb and they are no longer on the fence about the essential goodness of women. They understand. When at this point a unsuspecting woman comes along who is not entirely sure of what she wants the man will then proceed to unleash his inner demons upon her. Rape is rarely without assault. The assault on women. When a man is raping a female he is basically unloading his resentment caused by a lot of women. It is basically an attack on a sex.
Why don't women understand that men don't all think the same. What are we? Clones? Horny mental incompetents?
but just look at the no. of jerks defending " no means yes". the good men need to acknowledge that shitty men do exist, and there are more than enough of them due to which women are forced to say these things.
and if you still want to conveniently ignore that these things happen, then kindly dont complain here. _/\_
@IndianGirl01 look we're not here to be your sycophants and we ain't a big gang with uniform rules. What other guys do is none of my concern. True you get numbnuts that think lifes a porno film but don't blame that on every guy, blame it on pop culture and feminism and the lowering of standards. I'm a gentleman around women, I still hold doors for them and would give up a seat on the bus. I won't even swear around women. This genelarisation of entire genders is ridiculous
Every man is drowning and women have the only life preservers.
You're saying a lot more than just, "No thank you."
You're saying, "Sorry, you can just keep drowning. You're not worth saving."
How you can expect men to take that well is goddamned beyond me.
That is a very damaging way to look at it. For both genders.
@samhradh_leannan Yes, life is what you would call, "unfair."
This unfairness even inconveniences people!
It's not unfair, it's unrealistic and unhealthy. You are basically implying that
a. Men are worthless and incapable of happiness unless they get all the attention they want from women
b. Every woman is personally responsible for ensuring the mental health of the male gender by always giving them what they want. We are villains if we don't sleep with every man who approaches us.
That's nonsense.
@samhradh_leannan Well, no, that's not what I'm implying, that's you stretching my argument completely out of proportion to make it appear ridiculous.
You yourself personally don't "owe" anybody sex or really anything else that I know of, but that doesn't take away from the fact that everyone does deserve to feel loved, does it?
You don't owe a man anything, but who does? That's the point. Nobody else is going to help us. Nobody else is coming. We're alone.
Translating "no" into "go ahead and drown" really does turn portray women as villians who are harming men every time they say "no". That's not a ridiculous stretch at all. You were the first one to use those words. "You're saying, "Sorry, you can just keep drowning. You're not worth saving."" That's a very heavy accusation.
@samhradh_leannan Yes, it feels like quite a tremendous blow, when a woman looks you up and down and says your very best just isn't good enough and it never will be.
How women can expect men to feel no pain is just shocking to me. Men are cursed to all want love, and women are cursed to only love the best man they can find.
I believe life is vicious and cruel.
And you think men don't also just want the bet woman they can find? It's not like women get to date whoever we want either. Be reasonable. You're right, life is viscous and cruel. But that doesn't mean you can add whatever intentions and meanings onto women's behavior that you want to. A woman is not dooming a man to a life of misery and loneliness in one rejection. You don't get to put all the responsibility for your own happiness on someone else. Women don't expect men not to feel pain, but that doesn't mean we are intentionally causing it. You wouldn't date someone you had no interest in, either.
@samhradh_leannan
i.redditmedia.com/...z4PlPI7ytWIksArJuuWrhX5bA.png
http://i.imgur.com/2MstAzl.gif
This correlates with the suicide rate exactly. Most males in every generation are disposable. And each successive generation of females is more selective, with higher and higher and higher standards.
i.kinja-img.com/.../1291364247933229228.png
It's a fine thing to say, "oh well, screw all those beta losers, they need to die off anyway." But some of you will have sons one day, and some of your sons might become beta losers. Every generation, more and more males fall into that category.
4.bp.blogspot.com/.../ScreenShot007.jpg
Well, first of all, just because it correlates does not necessarily mean that it's the cause. Nor is it reasonable to try to blame male suicide rates specifically on the fact that women don't want to date every guy who approaches them. I understand how depression could be affected by rejection by the opposite sex, but that doesn't mean women are directly causing those suicides. Men are victims of a society that makes it difficult for men to seek help for mental illnesses. But that's something men contribute to, as well.
@samhradh_leannan I don't blame women for rejecting men, I figured out the misunderstanding here...
I blame women for a complete and total lack of basic human sympathy for men, not for the rejection itself, but for a cold callousness about it all, in general. Some men only ever get rejected and eventually, a lot of them kill themselves, and every single one of them is some mother's happy, bouncing baby boy.
Is it personal? No, it's completely and totally impersonal, and that's what I blame women for.
You're such perfect eugenicists.
I don't know any woman who enjoys rejecting men. It's a tough thing to handle, honestly. It can be very awkward and very difficult to know the best way to do it. There is no way to reject someone without potentially hurting their feelings, and that makes it difficult. Obviously I can't speak for all women- there are jerks out there, of both genders- but I don't see how you can assume that women in general have a total lack of sympathy for men. Expecting a woman to break down in tears every time she has to turn a guy down is simply too much to expect. Not a single human being on the planet would be remotely functional if that was how we operated.
@samhradh_leannan Yeah, well that was my whole point, was how bad it sucks, and the fact that it's really difficult and awkward. That's what I was saying. How can you expect men to always grin and bear it?
You were the one who charged into the conversation to convince everyone that you feel no guilt and that it couldn't possibly be any fault of yours.
Which is just weird, that's usually how guilty people act.
But you know, love is a funny thing. Isn't it? He who laughs last and all that. . .
It's one thing to feel bad about an individual situation where I'm rejecting a guy. It's another thing entirely to feel like I am personally responsible for the fact that men are killing themselves. Those are two VERY different things. And very different things to blame women for.
Why dont women understand that you can't categorize all men into 1 type by saying stupid shit like this?
For the same reason you just said all women categorize men.
hoho shit she got u good
Damn... touchè
Because sometimes the signal she is sending doesn't sound like an absolute "no".
Girls can be so indefinite with their so-called "rejection " that we end up confused a f?
*confused a f.
Some girls aren't that strong willed
I dont think thats a "male" problem. Its a personal problem. If someone who happens to be a man doesn't know when to stop- we can't blame all men.
How about this, you stop holding men to be at fault for not understanding you and you start chastising women who cannot figure out what the fuck they want; that will solve your problem of no- means no. Or better yet get off your lazy bum cowardly ass and ask a guy out.
Because we know that girls are extremely shallow and change their minds very easily. We also know that women's decisions are based mainly on their mood. We get different decisions about the same request with every mood change.. It is not our fault that women are extremely shallow , moody and crazy :)
So? If she says no that she is not in the mood for sex you still have to respect that.
@Nate1941 I personally never re-request.. For me No means she is not good enough for me :) ..
I was just explaining what generally happens
So rude to call women shallow, moody and crazy and I'm just saying...
@xButterflyKisses87x stating facts is not rude :) !
Bahaha yeah sure not the way it was seen...
@xButterflyKisses87x Lol , i don't care how you see it :)
Okay, you can think she isn't good enough for you. I don't care what you think of her so long as you stop after she says no.
@xButterflyKisses87x I don't care because you are the Idiot :) .. WHAT YOU THINK OR SAY IS JUST STUPID NONSENSE FROM A SHALLOW CRAZY GIRL :)
@Nate1941 i immediately stop as i think that a girl who rejects me once is not worth of having me ;)
Sounds like you wouldn't take no for an answer then, anyways... Idfc what you think of me, I am not shallow or crazy, and just because I called you an idiot doesn't mean you get to call me those, and I'm done here ignoring your lame posts.
@xButterflyKisses87x No i stop.. You don't know me. But again i don't care what you think.
Yes calling me an idiot justifies calling you all those :) . You are all those. That is why it is painful..
You should have ignored my posts from the start. you could have saved some of your pride :) ..
Because women sometimes give men tests to see how confident and kind they are, however, that kind of throws us off because then sometimes a woman really means no but we remember that some other women said that and meant yes, so we get confused. The world is just full of confusing actions.
If you have been raped... I'm sorry for what happened to you, but try not to let that effect your views on an entire gender. Believe it or not there are a few men out there that aren't rapists
Sometimes lack of intelligence and sometimes because some girls will say yes if you pursue them enough (certain girls).
I'm horrified by the amount of men defending ignoring consent here.