TRIGGER WARNING:My boyfriends brother in law got away with exposing me?

[Anonymous]

. I became friends with my boyfriend first, he was 18 for some weird reason his 23 year old brother in law used to hang around a bunch of kids in highschool. His now wife has no idea how long I've known him, she thinks the first time I met her husband was at my boyfriends house but in fact I had met him a year prior to my boyfriend and i's relationship. The reason She doesn't know this is her now husband but then boyfriend used to hangout with her younger brother behind her back, meaning he would be around highschool girls aswell. He was 23 and we were all 17/18 year old friend group. One night one of the younger girls 15 to be exact accused him of fingering her, he was 23 by the way so that would make it Paedophilia. Fast forward to my boyfriend and i's relationship his brother in law was inappropriate towards me which led him to sexually assaulting me. He would try to walk in on me showering, he once came into the bathroom while I was sat on the counter and pushed his erect penis (in his pants) against my leg swaying side to side , whilst giving me eye contact. When I tried to leave he held the door closed. He would comment on how "petite" I am, say I'm "hot" all whilst he had a child on the way. Without his girlfriends (my boyfriends sister) knowledge. He would try to walk in on me and my boyfriend having sex, he once told us he was stood outside our bedroom window during a storm watching me ontop of my boyfriend, we never found out if he was joking or not but it was too specific and truthful for it to be a joke. Whilst I was asleep I felt someone sit on the couch rub there fingers along my vagina and pull the back of my leggings and underwear down exposing a small percentage of my butt. It was the brother in law. We told my boyfriends parents and they dismissed it, my boyfriends mom even said its not that big of a deal. she said its normal for men to do that to women, I wanted to scream so it's normal for men to sexually assault sleeping women?

Updates

+1 y

sex offenders are typically violent, they must be to perpetrate sexual offences against people's will. I also know he's violent because the night he sexually assaulted me he attacked my boyfriend because my boyfriend witnessed him pulling my pants down to expose me. But now his 2 year old son is showing signs of aggression he's even been seen trapping the family cat in a net whilst he hits the cat with a hockey stick. I think he's witnessing abuse at home, perhaps on my boyfriends sister

[ShortCircuit]

I think the best thing for everyone else involved would be for your BF's brother in law to be as far away as possible. He deserves prison time for what he did to you, but if you file a police report, he will be acquitted due to lack of evidence, and will then likely be on high alert and it''ll be impossible to catch him on something else.

My advice is to subtly investigate whether or not he's being violent with his wife, but make sure to keep it hidden from your brother in law, and not to file a report until you have irrefutable evidence (such as a video recording). Like I said, he deserves to be in jail, but if you can't get him on sexual assault, maybe you can get him on domestic violence.

[Asker]

Thankyou so much, my boyfriend parents supposedly spoke to him but they chose not to tell his girlfriend. After he did that to me his proposed to his girlfriend and made it as difficult as possible for me to say something. I left it to my boyfriends parents to tell their daughter but they didn't. They allowed the wedding to go ahead, so instead we just keep our distance now. But his parents complain they don't see us enough but can u blame us when they let sexual assault slide? His child attacks other children, hits other children with toys. Slams doors shut.

[Asker]

Trapped the family cat purposely in a net and hit it multiple times with a stick whilst it was trapped. Just showing signs of aggression, kids aren't born aggressive they learn aggression. Also it's believed that if a child is showing aggression it's usually because they're living in a home with domestic violence. Or abuse.

[Nik1hil]

Your boyfriends parents are asshole!.
Your boyfriend is an asshole who is letting things like this happen to you!..
If something like this happened with my girl!..
I do not care who it is!.. That finger that touched her is breaking and taking that men/women to the hospital!..
I won't take such shit lightly!..
You deserve better!.
I am sorry to say but your is a pussy!.. You need to leave him and find new one..

[Asker]

I understand you feel that way but there are a lot of factors that came into play like 1 being his brother law and him have been best friends for 7 years, they were super close. When he told his parents that I was telling the truth they basically told us to shut up, they told me not to bring it up anymore and said they don't want to hear any more "drama" from me. They said I'm causing trouble and asked me to stop talking

[Asker]

He's cut his brother in law out of his life, in fact he fought his brother in law when it happened. And then we left frantically. And he doesn't hangout with him or text him anymore he just sees him at family events, which is still annoying because his brother in law tries to talk to him and act like nothing happened. They used to hangout everyday, it was a weird situation where he would ditch his girlfriend for her younger brother and he would go to his girlfriends house to hangout with my boyfriend. Because they were bestfriends but I hate him

[Nik1hil]

Well your boyfriend is being man enough if he fought for you!..
Rest is not your problem to worry about!..

[Asker]

True true, that piece of shit legit did it Infront of my boyfriend I was also passed out drunk. And suprisingly my boyfriends a very quiet guy, he's none confrontational. But when he saw him touch and expose me he just started shouting, he threw him to the ground and got ontop of him. Then his brother in law slipped out and got ontop of him that's when I got up and jumped on his back and started strangling him. I actually choked him to the ground. He then ran outside and smashed my boyfriends vehicle. We both left. When my boyfriend told his sister what her fiancé did to his car (he left out the sexual assault he was scared to tell her) she laughed. My boyfriend was crying he was so angry. She didn't appear sympathetic towards him atall, he called and told her not to bring her "psycho" fiancé near him again

[Asker]

He said your freak fiancé smashed my side mirror off my car, he told me she laughed it off.

[Nik1hil]

He should have never left off sexual assault part!..

[Nik1hil]

Tell your boyfriends Father,
Will he find it funny if his son in law pulled down his wife's clothes every once in a while

[Asker]

I explained it all in my comment to @Hypnos0929 please read the comments. It's what happened afterwards and what I had to deal with

[Asker]

I'd really appreciate it, if you could read what happened and give me your insight. I'm still not over it

[Nik1hil]

Something tells me it's about power!.

That guy have power over your boyfriends parents!.

See your boyfriend parents!.. Are willing to put up with his crap!
Because he is married to their daughter.
And they don't want him divorcing her!..

They are afraid!..
About it that's why asking you not to turn it into chaos!..

You need to want your Bf's sister about it!..
That she better watches her back!.. because her relationship will end one of this days badly!..

And hope she can share her parents perception

[Asker]

My mom said the same thing, she said they're scared of him. And from witnessing I believe so too. They appear scared of him. He's also rich I think they know it would be a messy divorce and their daughter would be left in tatters

[Nik1hil]

See I told you it's about power..
He has power to ruin their daughters life and has money..

Key here to defeat him is empower his wife, and use her to break him down!..
Being his wife she gets 50% of what he has in divorce!.

Instead of fighting about it talk to your boyfriends parents and let them know!.
They don't need to fear him.. Win their faith..
And also tell them if he tries to play unfair with them,..
They can count you on their side to fire hard in return!.
And gather some dirty on him.. In case situations get messy in future

[Asker]

Thankyou

[Nik1hil]

He is playing upon everyone's fear!..

You are a cop..
Dig into database!.
Collect all the dirty!.
Sexual assaults and every detail!..
All his crimes!..

Become BATMAN!..
And play upon his fears!..
Fears which are born of his dirty record!..
Do it for your boyfriend and his parents!.
You will make them feel safe and they will accept you gladly as a blessing in form of Daughter in law

[Nik1hil]

Remove your weakness!.
Connect with his daughter!..
Once she knows how her father is she will learn to live without him!
Also I don't suppose he would want to have a bad image in eyes of his own daughter.

Talk to your boyfriends sister!
Make her realize if she is in relationship with that guy out of fear. She doesn't needs to do that!.
It's a women's world!
She can turn him into her personal bitch!..
Slowly remove your weakness and feed on his weakness!..
He will either fallback or surrender!.

[Nik1hil]

And last thing!..
please... tell me where Girls like you exist on this planet!..
Loyal
Smart
Beautiful
Kind
Insightful
Fearless,..

God,.. A perfect women!.

[Asker]

Omg wow, Thankyou so much. Really didn't expect that

[Asker]

I had messaged my boyfriends sister before her wedding and told her that he wasn't telling the truth and that she needed to dig deeper because there's something big that he's not telling her. She never chose to push me on it and ask. My boyfriend also didn't want me telling his sister, he was becoming protective over her. He asked me not to tell her

[Nik1hil]

Well love is blind,..
But you are the cop,..
It's your job to protect,..
Do your job,..
And prepare everyone for the rainy day

[Asker]

True

[Nik1hil]

Thanks for the MHO

[Asker]

Welcome

[Anon_af]

I'm so sorry that has happened to you and it must feel like you're trapped. Sex offenders aren't typically violent, but they are typically someone the victim knows and initially trusts. That's how they get away with it. Low-life scum that take advantage of people, and when it happens, a lot of times the victim seems paralysed and in a sense of disbelief that it's actually happening.

[Asker]

Definitely rings a bell. i froze in fear and shock I didn't know how to handle the situation. Luckily my boyfriend witnessed it and stopped it before it was taken further, God knows what he would of done if my boyfriend wasn't present. He said stop wtf man, what are you doing. Don't do that. And he got up and attacked my boyfriend and later smashed my boyfriends car window clean off his car

[Anon_af]

Wow, he sounds like bad news. Are you alright, though?

[Asker]

I am now Thankyou, I developed almost like a ptsd response. It's weird how something can effect you, for weeks afterwards I was paranoid he was going to come get me. In my mind I figured he was guilty and he didn't want anyone to know about it and the following day I had misplaced my house keys and I was convinced he had stolen them to break into my house at a later date to get me. That was just my paranoia though. It was probably more mentally and emotionally painful dealing with things afterwards, as I had my boyfriends parents basically tell me to shut up. They asked me to stop talking about it, said they didn't want it brought up anymore. The brother in law lied to them and told them he apologized, he never did. His apology was in fact threatening my boyfriends Job, telling him "I'll be your boss one day" so watch your back.

[Anon_af]

That sucks that he seems more trustworthy to them than you do. That's fucked up.

[Asker]

I think the length of time is why, he's been around longer

[avalonbob]

I am not defending this guys actions but your reference to pedophilia is all wrong. Pedophilia refers to people who are attracted to pre-pubescent children, say under the age of 12, and Psychiatrists consider it a mental illness. People who are attracted to teenagers may be creeps, but are not pedophiles and are considered completely normal by Psychiatrists. Look it up.

[Asker]

She was 14, the Paedophilia extends to the ages of 13. Actually it's illegal so. You're incorrect in that matter because she's a minor and he was a grown man. He would be labelled a sex offender

[Asker]

It's not "normal" atall for a 23 year old male to have sexual relations with a 14 year old

[avalonbob]

Ageed it is illegal. Now.

[Asker]

But regardless of him committing a illegal act against a minor, in that fact he also cheated on his then 3 month pregnant girlfriend with this child. Then he went on to sexually harass and sexually assault me. And it was dismissed. Unfortunately men get away with things, and I think it's quite ridiculous to dismiss some bodies allegations because you've "known them for a long time" because in cases like Larry nassar the USA Olympian medical doctor where countless children came forward with allegations that he had been molestering them and it was dismissed by trusted adults all because they "knew him" and he was a trusted friend of many. these poor children at the hands of ignorant adults thinking they knew Larry and believed he was a good person, people shouldn't dismiss such allegations because it leaves room for reoffending and more victims. I'm sorry to say but if he's done it to me he'll do it again. I just hope to god he doesn't get the chance

[Asker]

Next time it might be a family member of theirs, and they're going to wish they listened to me, but they didn't simply because I was new to this family. And he had been around for 7 years.

[MLGbreezy]

Okay this is sick and it really pissess me off that the parents just dismissed it you and your boyfriend should see if you can do something about this cause it not right

[Asker]

Thankyou, it's a few months ago now unfortunately I was forced into silence and nothing was done about it

[MLGbreezy]

I don't think you should give up especially with the recent uprise for women who get sexually assaulted he doesn't deserve to walk around like an asshole anf do the things he did

[Hypnos0929]

Clearly the parents are in denial, which most parents would be. You just have to find a way to keep him away or tell your boyfriend to lay down the law and whoop his arse for a while

[Asker]

It's their daughters now husband. They're not related to him, I don't understand why they would allow their daughter to marry a sex offender. If my sons girlfriend confided in me that my daughters fiancé had sexually assaulted her I would listen. My boyfriend even told his parents that I was telling the truth and that he had witnessed it. They threatened to cancel the wedding they told me they would tell their daughter what her partner had done to me, they were furious. And then the next day it was as if I never told them. They acted like it never happened, so for months my boyfriend and I stayed away from them, I couldn't stand to be around them. I felt sick that they had covered it up for him, I also felt I wasn't safe to be around them if they were to keep something like that a secret. They would probably allow him to do it again. But then they started to complain they didn't see their son enough so my boyfriend tried convincing me to start visiting his family again

[Asker]

But i don't particularly like them anymore. I developed anxiety afterwards and it caused me a great deal of stress and ptsd. I was so emotionally scarred and I couldn't deal with my anger and resentment towards them brushing it aside. One night his mom also denied me and told me she doesn't think he did that to me because he's a good guy, and I was bursting at the seams to tell her it's not the first time he's made unwanted advances towards me but she kept shushing me when I tried to speak. I eventually burst into tears over her complete and utter disrespect of my feelings and the dismissal and denial of the truth

[Asker]

She then went on to say it's not that big of a deal and that she's had plenty of men do stuff like that to her and it's nothing to make a fuss about, she also went on to say she's disappointed in her son for basically believing me, although he witnessed it. I wanted to scream you're disappointed in your son for having good morals and sticking up for what's right and what's wrong? But you're not disappointed with your son in law cheating on your daughter by sexually assaulting me? Then they later pulled me aside and asked me to stop talking about it all together, they told me to let it go and get over it. They said it was causing a lot of drama and said they didn't want to speak about it anymore.

[minded62]

He needs to be beat by your boyfriend for sure and the parents are 100% in denial and need to think

[Asker]

He got away with it, my boyfriends parents let it go. They also kept it a secret from their daughter

[minded62]

Are you serious

[minded62]

That is a messed up big time and down right wrong im sorry for that happening

[Asker]

Thankyou! Yeah I don't really like my boyfriends family anymore.

[minded62]

I can definitly see why for sure

[Asker]

It's the worst, I've also been with my boyfriend two and a half years and his parents apparently said the other day they don't really know me. They said she's a nice girl but I don't really know her that well. And it's because they've never even had a full conversation with me. They're weird

[minded62]

I agree if u want to know your sons girlfriend might as well talk and find out about her to get to know her

[Asker]

I lived with them for a year when me and my boyfriend first got together, so they had plenty of time to get to know me. I personally just think they don't care enough about their son to know who he spends all of his time with. We also live with my parents permantly now because of their behaviour towards me, my parents know my boyfriend very well

[minded62]

Then that family just sucks very very bad then

[Asker]

They definitely do

[minded62]

Ol but i know im a stranger but im glad u dont have to deal with that creep anymore well sorta anymore

[Asker]

Thankyou

[minded62]

No problem

[noark_59]

Damn, im so sorry, if you ever need to talk to someone about this. Im here for you.

[Asker]

Hey it's my buddy. Thankyou!

[noark_59]

Of course!!

[CoffeeWC]

Sounds like sexual assault

[Asker]

Definitely does. I regret not calling the police tbh. I had nothing but hassle for months because his parents were so insensitive

[GreenGold1992]

sick bastard

[Asker]

Sure is

[NoPoliticsPlease]

Tell the cops asap