How to get a guy who I rarely see interested in me?

[lesleypat]

There's this guy who's a grade older than me. We have a few mutual friends but they aren't close enough to both of us to play set us up. He's extremely popular and good looking and he knows it - he's only friends with kids who are older than him, and some his age. Over the summer I hooked up with one of his friends so he definitely knows who I am. I see him about once a week after school just hanging out but he's always surrounded by his bros so I'm too intimidated to approach him. When I do see him in the hallway he looks at me like he's intrigued, and he joked around with me once after school but I doubt it meant much. I'm friends with him on facebook but we've never talked one on one. I never see him, how do I encourage him to try communicating with me more?

[YouKnowThatGuy]

It's been my opinion that the smartest way to play this one is the "social butterfly". To your disadvantage, he very well might already have his first impression of you, so you could already be counted out.

But when you are playing the social butterfly, what you are doing is almost showing a total lack of interest in said guy, while at the same time, showing all the characteristic that's going to make him go "Whoa, who's this girl?" So, who's the social butterfly?

The social butterfly is a person who's going to walk into a room and you're going to know it. They are talking to every new stranger they meet like they have known them for years. They will walk right up, say "Hey, I'm *name*, how are you?" with an almost rivaled level on confidence. They aren't just talking to the good looking guys, they are talking to everyone, with the same level of noted interest in every person. They are upbeat, respectful, genuine, and overall the kind of person people want to be around.

You'll talk to the guy you're crushing on, and you'll want to keep it brief. You will be the one to end the short conversation you will have (keep it at max a couple minutes long). If he gives a short answer and nothing more is said (if the conversation goes quiet and feels like it's gone cold), move on. You aren't here to force conversation with this guy. You will end that conversation to go talk to somebody else and display the same interest in that person. You don't want to display any interest in him relationship/dating wise on the first meet. After all, you hardly know him, he hardly knows you, the idea here is that you shouldn't have any more interest in him than anyone else.

On the second conversation, you'll slowly start to show more interest in him. That doesn't mean you can suddenly stop talking to everyone else. One of the reasons he's going to become attracted to you is that he's noticed you are apart from the rest. Keep your socially outgoing nature going (and why not, you are probably going to make new friends out of it if nothing else?) and you are well on your way to making the right kind of first impression on him.

The hardest part is going to be getting the courage and confidence to be THAT socially outgoing. It isn't easy, trust me I know. As a guy who's not good looking, and did have any real social skills till he got out of high school, I know how nerve racking it can be. But what I have found is that confidence is a skill, not a trait. If you practice it, you get better at it. If walking into a room of 30 people and just start introducing yourself to people, starting conversations out of nothing, etc. is something that you just aren't willing to do yet, that's fine.

But this guy, well he hasn't come onto you, and in our society he is the one who is expected to. He probably doesn't have much interest because he hasn't really noticed you. Unfortunately I can tell you that definitely sucks because when I see a girl I'm attracted to, I notice.

[YouKnowThatGuy]

unrivaled*

[akkenny]

Next party... do what you gotta do. jk I don't really know. Guys should do the approaching thing but you can iniatate a conversation with him somehow... but I think you're making a mistake judging a guy solely on his looks and popularity

[lesleypat]

Well having been around him I'm interested him in both his looks and personality, it doesn't have to do with his popularity at all. It's actually kind of an annoying obstacle, since I have to get by his friends to ever talk to him.

[venividivici]

he was probably looking intrigued because he was blinded by the sun.

try getting a more natural skin tone and hair color...

other than that be confident and don't sleep around with his friends.

i don't see a reason for a popular guy to hook up with a girl that's already been used by a friend of his. just a thought though :-/

[lesleypat]

By hooked up, I meant made out. Haha there's absolutely no reason to get offensive.

[venividivici]

doesn't matter what exactly you did, the thing is he's had you before. now if that guy really is that popular, he can afford to be picky, so he probably won't get with a girl that had something with his friend before, 'cause he'd feel like he's only your second chance. and he is used to being the number 1...

i didn't get offensive :) just laying out some facts for you.

[venividivici]

*second choice

[MeuAmor]

Why did you hookup with his friend when you're interested in him?

That's not a good reason to know someone by.

Anyways just start talking to him on facebook or something if you can't talk to him in person.

[lesleypat]

I hooked up with his friend before I knew he existed.