Why do guys add girls they’ve slept with on social media?

[Anonymous]

We talked lots, metteice, had sex once. He’s always initiated contact since for years, tried to flirt but I kept it friendly as I’m not into casual. So why would he add me on social media?
I personally think if you’re not hanging out in person then why connect online, unless there’s a plan to eventually.

Updates

+1 y

Sorry that was meant to say “we talked lots, *met twice*, had sex once, talked lots more...”

[CheshireFox]

In reply to your previous reply (as you're anon so i can't @ you), so that I can keep up the discussion without confusion.
What altered the chemistry/connection you had felt? What other factors are there which lead you to think this is a casual only possibility and not a viable long term thing?

[Asker]

The distance and communication altered it, because the communication dropped from daily to weekly/fortnightly it seemed like an obvious end. So I had to take the distance to let go completely as it felt more intensified after sleeping with him, and yes I felt guilt too but was prepared to get over that. We both literally moved away two weeks after we slept together (I avoided being physical up until then as I wanted to see if it had a chance to be genuine or not, but I suppose I got caught in the moment before the distance hit). Our schedules for work are so incompatible as he gets some weekends free and I work practically all doing long shifts. He has mentioned when he’s been in my area once and has joked saying he needs someone there to do this or that for him but I just took it as harmless flirting really since he’s never directly asked to meet again in all of the years of contact, so even though he flirts I presume it’s just for fun so I just keep it friendly.

[Asker]

There’s quite a bit of context to get across which is difficult to do here.

[CheshireFox]

Sounds like he might be interest in more, however distance is a very detrimental factor. So I can see the conundrum. I guess than it goes into the question, do you not want to maintain any form of friendship? If thats the case block him, otherwise it might simply be the social media numbers thing people focus on. I know a lot of people that add everyone they've ever met because it adds some sort of personal validation to have a lot of social media contacts.

[Asker]

Yeah I did think that. I don’t want to block him as I see no need, plus I rarely ever use it much anyway, just wondered. I do like him as a person though so as long as he’s respectful it’s good.

[Fuentes]

Cause i like to know whats going on in your life at least it might have been just sex but we showed our parts to eachother and did something sacred at least i can do is be your silent distant friend but if u don't wanna be friends it's all good

[Asker]

So it’s out of care?

[Fuentes]

Kinda like that and more of i hope you do well in life and im kinda rooting for you and i hope we both do what were set out to do

[Asker]

Yeah I know what you mean

[Rivn26]

If he's been in contact with you that long it's obvious he likes you. And if he added you on media for him it wasn't just a sex thing maybe he's trying to see what can become of it I don't think he's casual either if he's been trying that long.

[Asker]

Yeah maybe but I’m really not sure, let’s see what the guys say too

[Rivn26]

Did you want to keep it as a one-time thing?

[Asker]

No, I wonder if he did though.

[BadApple1]

Honestly guys are always looking to hook up again or at least keep in touch with the pasts hookups ( you never know) ... we are a hopeful bunch 😉

[OlderAndWiser]

"had sex once. . . I’m not into casual." Do you think he has a reason to not believe that last statement?

[CheshireFox]

Agreed

[Asker]

Yeah I know how it sounds, but we’d been talking for months before then and we’re both extremely busy with careers, felt a lot of chemistry so just decided to see if I could enjoy it before we both moved away. It was a mistake, I just confirmed what I already thought would happen (I caught feelings) and so tried to avoid him ever since. But he’s very persistent so I’ve just tried to maintain a friendship, we used to flirt a little although I’ve pulled back, but I’d never actually have casual sex again. I’ve explained all of this to him and have shown him with my actions. I guess he still doesn’t believe me and has added me why?

[Asker]

It’s very rare I ever feel that much chemistry with someone. Not that he knows that.

[Asker]

So what are you suggesting I do? Just delete & ignore him completely now? Even though I’d feel terribly rude?

[spartan55]

Maybe he plans to eventually, if it's a big deal just block him.

[Whatshappeningtome25]

To show their grandson that they were cool once too...

[Thatsamazing]

Why do people say "sleep with" to mean sex? ↗

[Asker]

Irrelevant

[Thatsamazing]

Okay sis.

[Browneye57]

Social media is irrelevant to anything - it's all fake.

[Asker]

Yes but it’s not the point of the question

[Browneye57]

You're asking about why someone would do something that has zero relevance to anything in the first place. So, yes, it does. You're wasting you time with all that - why do you care what HE does?

[Lance1965]

Exactly. Almost posted the same thing. It is all largely meaningless.

[Asker]

@Lance1965 well others got it so these comments are irrelevant.

[Asker]

I’m not implying it’s a significant deal. Just interested in the motivating factor - which does always exist behind any action.

[Nahid1707]

Red flag then

[Asker]

Because?

[BronzedAdonis]

think of it as digital Taxidermy

[Asker]

Weird