Guys, should child support be banned?

[imgudluv]

Guys, should child support be banned?

Yes

No

Updates

+1 y

Forgot to select the guys only button 🙄

[MrOracle]

Child support is often necessary, but it needs to be recalculated and there needs to be some standards for spending it responsibly.

For example, my mother has a cousin, who had 3 kids and divorced the guy, and fought for sole custody. Then she spent nearly every cent of the child support money on herself. The kids got hand-me-down clothes for Christmas, and were passed of to other relatives as much as possible so that she wasn't paying for meals, etc. My cousin (the oldest daughter) got what may have been her first pair of NEW shoes at 16 with her own money. That's the kind of crap that needs to end.

[GFNimbuscloud]

Banned? No. Hell no. It works both ways, it's more common for a woman to get custody, but I grew up with my dad for the first part of my life. Kids are parasites, and financial burdens. I think it's reasonable to expect someone to help pay for the needs of a kid they brought into the world, and want to be involved with. I wouldn't mind if it could somehow be audited, to ensure it goes toward the kid's needs though, but I dunno how you'd implement that.

I do think paper abortions should be a thing though, but that also involves giving up the rights to be a parent to the child in any capacity.

[AperolSpritz]

I know this question is for guys but child support is really about the child. Why would you want a little girl or a little boy who is completely innocent and completely dependant on their parents to survive to go without?

That being said, I agree that, if a guy decides not to participate in a child's life, he should be given the choice to walk away. His responsibilities shouldn't be forced on him. It's better for a child to be without a parent than to have a resentful one.

I am still curious as to why you think all mothers should be sole providers in general though?

[nathanp97]

Well if women can get and abortion if they aren't ready to be parents, why can't guys do the same with finance abortions? If a father never wanted the kid he should be able to opt out before the kid is born.

[AperolSpritz]

@nathanp97 You know I already said that, right? That if a guys decides from the start that he doesn't want to he involved, it shouldn't be forced on him. I wrote that in my answer :)

However, if it's simply a case of divorce or a relationship break up, why should the non-custodial parent be then void of any financial contribution? ( provided they can afford it) That's what I don't agree with.

[nathanp97]

I wasn't sure if you were in cluding no financial support. Some fathers need up in prison because they can't pay it, so I agree with you on that. However, if the father is a good father and the mother ends up with more or full custody he shouldn't have to pay, since the kids were taken from him for no good reason.

[AperolSpritz]

@nathanp97 The thing is, it's not really about who has their children the most. It's about what those children need. It's not about the parents. A child needs support, at the end of the day. If the primary custodial parent makes more money, and the other person is barely covering their own expenses, then yes, other things should be considered.

Both my kids live with me full time. My eldest's dad doesn't pay does pay child support. Not because he struggles with money, not because she lives me. It's because we're fine without it. He wasn't around for the first two years of her life she doesn't need his "support" now.
With my youngest, if my partner and I were to break up tomorrow, would I expect to just be left to manage on my own? No. Because she's ours. He wanted her, he wanted to be a dad in his own right. Initially, I had her for him, because it's what he wanted. So yes, money would come into it regardless of where she lived, because I wouldn't allow my kids to go without, you know?

If he lost his job tomorrow, that would be a different story.

[nathanp97]

Yes, but if the father is a good parent and wants equal or full custody of the kid and the mother gets more custody or full custody than he shouldn't be required to pay because the kid is being taken away from him. Why should he have to pay for a kid he doesn't get to see that much or at all. If the father makes more money and is a good parent he should get more or full custody if the mother has a problem with that. Fathers often get treated as second class parents, and this could help stop that.

[AperolSpritz]

@nathanp97 More often than not, shared custody is awarded to parents in the event of separation, if it goes to court and assets are being divided, there should be a clear case of who is applying for what in terms of their children. If they already agreed on shared custody, or shared then both parents should contribute. If one person applies for full custody, and the other contests it, but the objection is denied by the court, a fair amount of visitation/access is still usually awarded. Usually, the only reasons for not awarding joint custody is usually location, lifestyle of the ages of the children involved. When children are very young, you can't have them switching houses every three or four days, it's too disruptive... but if the courts have reached the fairest decision they can, even if it's just a case of access for one of the parents involved, it's still right that both parents, again, should contibute.

The only time it shouldn't be mandatory is if one of the parents has decided that they're going to be the sole and only carer of their children. If that person has decided that their child's other parent is not to be part of their child's life, and goes all out to block that person from having any part, then they need to be willing to take full responsibility, but that, in my opinion, should be the only time.

[btbc92]

No. But if it's proven that the mother is not taking care of her child, funding should be cut and the child should go to the person who can be most responsible. The key point is the child, not who has the money. My father had to pay child support for my older sister. But the point is this. DO NOT open up your legs before marriage, that's what I say. If they did and they get pregnant, I pity NO ONE.

[ChurchOfIron]

We talk about the right of a woman to treat her 'own body' the way she wants to. But we don't talk about the obligation that she is enforcing on the man. We just say "Well, it's your child, if you didn't want one, you shouldn't have had sex."

But, fundamentally, the woman is making the decision of whether or not the man is the father. Unilaterally. He has no choice in the matter. To that end, if she wants the child and he doesn't, it only makes sense to me that she be the one to provide for it. ESPECIALLY if she wants the child *without a father*.

That's fucked up. And it's the reason I need to get a vasectomy.

[blythely]

My money. My choice.

[ChurchOfIron]

@blythely Yeah, pretty much.

[No_Archons]

Ladies and gentlemen, a glimpse inside the mind of a true statist, under TOTAL AND COMPLETE MIND CONTROL!!!

The premise of this question is retarded. Why on earth would we need to ban child support? How about, oh I dunno... JUST GETTING RID OF THE LAWS WHICH FORCE MEN TO PAY IT?

Fucking christ... it's always ban this, ban that, ban ban ban all day... this is how government grows and grows. Even the people who wanna shrink the government think that instituting a ban is the best way to go about it x. x

[blythely]

#bansjw

[blythely]

;) ...

[sadassad]

In california can declare a man to be the father of her child and sue him for child support and its to the man to prove that he isn't the father by taking a DNA test and he only gets 30 days to do so if doesn't do it in that time then a court can declare him the father even if he prooves that he is not later on.(Disrupting paternity).
A woman can sue a sperm donor for child support (Kansas court was in the news).
A woman who gets pregnant with stolen sperm can sue the man she stole the sperm from for child support (Uptown "woman used sperm from oral sex to get pregnant, gets child support"/ Woman has twins with ex-boyfriend's stolen sperm , courts rule ex to pay child support/ Woman steals ex-husband's sperm and collects almost 200k in child support/<- all of them are true look them up).
Child support is dumb just like the fact that almost every time the parenthood is granted to the woman unless the father proves she is unfit to care for the children.

[blythely]

One does not prove his innocence. It's assumed until demonstrated otherwise

[sadassad]

@blythely Yup presumption of innonence is never a thing.

[blythely]

"innocent until proven guilty". Ring any bells?

[sadassad]

@blythely Thats what i am saying but almost everytime thats not it.
College student falsely accused of rape speaks out <- watch this video where a MERE accusation without any proof destroyed this dudes life.

[GFNimbuscloud]

Don't forget, there've been cases where guys have been raped, statutory and otherwise, where they've been sued for child support. Sounds so wonderful.

[sadassad]

@GFNimbuscloud Sounds fair that with stolen sperm a woman can sue for child support

[BeMuse]

Yep. Shared custody makes more sense. A kid would spend equal time with either parent. Each parent would have the same amount of burden in supporting their child financially and could make their own decisions on how they spend money on their child. The kid would get to know and build a relation with both their mom and dad as they grow up. Extorting a man under penalty of imprisonment so that a women gets a free check would be criminal in any other context.

[markscott]

The question should be more like: Should we let an innocent child have the support they need, or not. Should we require parents to support their child, or let the child suffer neglect.

[imgudluv]

It depends on who you talk to. Some support child support and some think it should be banned.

[markscott]

imgud: Of course some think it should be banned. Those are the ones who want to have sex without responsibility or consequences, and aren't concerned about the welfare of the child they helped create. They want to fuck, and have someone else pay the bill. I mean, I'm all for me going to a restaurant and having someone else pay the bill for me too. Or getting a new car, and have tax payers pay for it. It's the same principle.

[Celtero]

Yes, and to come to that conclusion we have to look at the reasons for there having to be child support payments in the first place.

A woman has to have a child by a man.

For them to split up either he has to be an asshole or she is an asshole.

If women don't get paid, then they have to make the choice of

A: don't get pregnant by an asshole
B: don't be an asshole
C: be financially independent and able to support a child by themselves.

[Guardian45]

Sometimes, BOTH parents are assholes.

[Guardian45]

BOTH parents MUST be held accountable.

[Celtero]

@Guardian45 Pregnancy is woman's responsibility.

[Guardian45]

Incorrect! It is BOTH parents responsibility.

[nathanp97]

If the father never wanted the kid he should be able to get a financial abortion. If he stayed with the kid and the parents split he should have to pay some money for the kid assuming that he has less custody of the kid. Although if he wanted equal or full custody and is a decent parent he shouldn't have to pay because the mother took the kid from him.

[JoeDo3]

If a father is seeing there kids on a regular basis and i mean 3 to 4 times a week including at least 2 to 3 nights staying over no they should not have to pay, but if your only seeing your kids once a week then I think definitely unless you are of course contributing towards clothes and food and other things then I would say no you shouldn, t have to

[Anonymous]

Yes and no. If a woman gets pregnant and both parents want to have a child, and then the relationship goes bad and the parents split, the father should pay child support.

However, if a woman gets pregnant and she wants to keep the child and the father does not, at that point, while abortion is still an option, the father should have the option to opt out, just as the mother has the option to abort.

[imgudluv]

Why should the man pay if the parents split

[Opinion Owner]

I mean if they have the baby together and both want it, and then split after the baby is born.

[GuidoThePizzaMaker]

Guys need to start refusing the culture which creates these situations
Marry young, make babies, and stay committed.
Divorce should be seen as something super undesirable and shameful.
as well as abandoning children. This sort of thing doesn't happen in strong communities and families that often.

[GFNimbuscloud]

That all sounds like terrible advice. Especially "marry young." I'd argue that it's much easier to be with someone you actually want to be with, when you actually know who you are and have your shit together. I didn't have my shit together until I was 35... (rimshot) And I feel like the vast majority of people don't either, and if they think they do they're fucking kidding themselves.

[GuidoThePizzaMaker]

@GFNimbuscloud People dont know who they are anymore because the culture wants to keep everyone in a constant state of rebellion
Also your listed age is 27, yet you claim you are 35. You dont even know how to be honest about your age. Perfect example of this problem.

If forming strong families, staying committed, avoiding divorce, and building communities is bad advice, I wonder whats good advice is

[GFNimbuscloud]

Do you know what a rimshot is? It's the ts-ts-tssk! They make on the drums and symbols to signal a punchline. See, the joke is that I'm only twenty-seven, but I hope to have my life figured out by the time I'm thirty-f- oh, forget it.

Forming strong families is good advice. I don't think marrying young is a means to that end. Not saying it can't happen, but I think luck would have more to do with that than age.

Staying committed is pretty good advice too. Don't cheat kids, if things are really going sour, just break it off.

Avoiding divorce is piss-poor advice, depending on who you're talking to. Namely abuse victims. I'd love to see you preach this shit at a battered woman's shelter.

Building communities might be good advice? Depends on the community. Dunno anything you said relevant to building communities though, marriage is a relationship between two people, not necessarily a communal thing.

You want to hear good advice. Hm...

-Don't text and drive.
-Don't shit where you eat
-Develop a fucking sense of humor.
-Don't be afraid to ask questions, or ask for help when you need it.
-You'll never please everyone.
-Don't rush into marriage. A piece of paper makes very little difference.
-Move in with someone before you marry them.
-A penny saved is a penny earned. This does not mean saving as in putting into a bank, it means saving as in finding a way to cut costs. Common misconception.
-Just because something is popular doesn't mean it's right.
-Just because something is popular doesn't mean it's wrong.
-People in their twenties think they know everything, but they're morons, they're barely better than teenagers.
-People in their thirties think they know everything, but they're morons, they're barely better than twenty-year-olds
-People in their forties think. . . .
-People are morons.
-Always be open to learning something new.
-Don't shake a baby.
-Don't Judge people for things that don't hurt other people.

[GFNimbuscloud]

Here. Rimshot:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oShTJ90fC34

[GuidoThePizzaMaker]

@GFNimbuscloud oops that my fault. didn't know what a rimshot was.
I agree with most of that advice
Haha, I have been told to develop a sense of humor so many times!

35? I think you will find out a lot sooner.

[GFNimbuscloud]

I'll be lucky if I LIVE to 35. Life's hard, dude.

[GuidoThePizzaMaker]

@GFNimbuscloud Damn what kind of life you are living! You gotta change something if thats the case. Take your own advice, I am sure you will live a lot longer than that.

[GFNimbuscloud]

Eh, who wants to live forever?

[GuidoThePizzaMaker]

@GFNimbuscloud 35 is a short life brother! Living forever sucks but 35 is too young.

[Darkchild25]

As a man that pays child support i think what the woman spends it on should be monitored. I still have to buy clothes for my children and food for when they are with me, not to mention activities and toys / books/ gadgets to keep them occupied. I'm struggling with money whilst the mother recieves benefits as well as child maintenance.

[ecfresh]

My cousin’s 10 year old son is living with him full time in CO as of January. The mom lives in Florida and I believe she owes monthly child support.

[imgudluv]

So should it be banned

[ecfresh]

Already voted no, it’s shouldn’t be banned. While living with the mom, my cousin paid monthly child support.

[AynonOMouse]

There should be no child support because custody should automatically be 50/50 unless PROVEN abuse (not some liar claiming abuse to steal someone's kid and get money for it). Anyone that disagrees on the automatic 50/50 custody is purely sexist and doesn't deserve any say at all.

[Guardian45]

Unfortunately, its NOT that simple. There are infinite number of reasons custody may NOT be 50/50. Nevertheless, BOTH biological parents should be held responsible, accountable and liable!

[Guardian45]

And if necessary, punished.

[igoforoldergirls]

Depends, in California the laws suck so not only does the wife get half of the man's cash/belongings, he has to pay child support. Its ridiculous since some guys make far less than the ex-wife, and in most cases she runs him dry. It depends, I think there should be for clear specifications like if the wife can depend on her own. If a guy pays child support just let him keep the dang kid!!!

[Mickey9999]

If the father never wanted a kid, he should have kept it in his pants!!!

That being said, I do think men should have a right to opt out to a certain extent.

[Kiran_Yagami]

Absolutely. It's amazing that the states that are now trying to abolish child support and alimony are the states in which women have been most affected by both. When women suddenly have to pay for divorce, it's not something they want anymore. Funny that.

[boogiediablo]

I don't think it should be banned but I think it should be monitored better because I know a few people that abuse the heck out of the child support that the man pays and the kids are in like rags and it's 2019 they got have a better way to do it but every man needs to pay up for his kid I have three thank God they all live with me but what's right as what's right

[TripleAce]

Its nice to see how women are open to no child support if the man doesn't want the baby after this whole no abortion thing for women

muahah, and just like that... it puts them right in their place again 😛

[1truekhaleesi]

If child support is banned, abortion needs to be 100% legal across the board. If men escape a pregnancy so should women.

[Nachowedgie]

Right now it's the opposite

[OfDeath]

I think in cases where the mother battles to get full custody of the children AND forces the father to pay child support it should be. Because if the father is the only one who can financially support them, they should be living with him anyway

[Imcmullan]

In Illinois, its looked at based on both incomes and the time spent with child.. personally, I don't believe in forcing someone to pay for their child. I'm a single mom and when u say, blindsided, I was totally blindsided... I didn't expect my childs father to decide to be a dead beat.. our daughter was planned... after about 3months he decided to ghost us. He currently lives about 5 miles away and has CHOSEN not to be apart of his child's life.. so, I didn't file child support... I think being a parent is a blessing... I'm not going to force him to take care of his responsibilities... I'd rather bust my butt to do it on my own and I do not believe in hand outs... n I'm not going to try to take his money... karma will take more from him.

[OfDeath]

@Imcmullan In your case I think child support is warranted