A guy friend touched me inappropriately when we were drunk. Is alcohol an excuse?

[SamanthaAndrews]

I was at a party the other day and it was just like 20 people at a friend's house, really private. I drank too much because I was having fun and everything so I went completely black and was nauseated. I laid down and that guy was next to me, he's been a friend for like a year. I swear I was just so tired and drunk I was completely out of it. That's when he started to touch me like beneath my shirt and on my ass and under my pants. As instantly as I could I told him to stop and as much as I remember he only stopped after I've repeated myself several times. Looking back it makes me feel so dirty, I dont know. The next day he texted me like "you were so drunk haha do you remember anything because I don't remember shit" or something like that. It's so obvious that he just wanted to check whether I remembered his fucked up behaviour and to kinda say that he doesn't remember messing up. I didn't say anything because I don't know if it's worth talking about or if I'm just overreacting. If he really was so drunk was it okay? What should I do and should I tell someone even though it will make him look bad?

Updates

+1 y

Okay so I talked to my friends who are his friends and they thought it was disgusting of him, but just like me they think it's better not to make a big deal out of it. So I'll now call him tonight and tell him that I remember and that we'll move on from it but he better not try to pull it on anyone again. Is that ok?

[zeekitten26]

I don’t understand why people get shit faced drunk and complain about bad things happening to them. I don’t condone what he did to you. It is absolutely disgusting and you should tell your parents about it. But seriously if you going to play with fire then don’t cry when you get burnt.

[tessjm16]

It doesn’t matter how drunk you get, it’s never ok to touch someone inappropriately after they’ve asked you repeatedly to stop. This is not a normal reaction to have drunk or not. I would be weary of this guy honestly. I’m glad you’re ok and this is a learning lesson for you ❤️

[Soft4u]

You're 16 years old drinking to the point of blacking out asking us what you should do about some guy who touched you inappropriately.
You shouldn't drink at all or ever put yourself in a situation like that again.

[SamanthaAndrews]

I'm from a country where it's legal to drink at the age of 16. Sure it's never good to go black out drunk, but I was in a situation with my closest friends and felt save.

[TheSoundOfSilas]

That's harassment. If you kill someone while drunk, you're still a murderer.
Rip the fuck outta that creep, it doesn't matter if it will make *him* look bad. This is about you. Tell people you trust (or suspect you can trust compared to others, if you're paranoid like me).

[SamanthaAndrews]

Should I talk to him though? Just clear things up, tell him that I remember and whether or not he apologises for it?

[TheSoundOfSilas]

Maybe after you confide in others, because he might try to cover his tracks if he knows you know.

[scooter91]

Don't get that drunk without ur mates or underage and rip him a new asshole for what he did shoulda grabbed his balls and pulled he would of fucked off real quick

[scooter91]

It is a big deal and it should be treated like a big deal or it could happen again cause he believes he could get away with it
His mates are saying it's not a big deal so U will drop it

[ReginaGeorgina]

This just happened to me, but im much older (early 20's). I went over to a friend's house 100% trusting that he won't do anything wrong. He had a girlfriend who he claimed to love but when the lights were off his hands were on my chest and stomach. He followed ME to the bed. He put his hands on me. I was drunk as hell. I froze when this happened. I didn't know what to do. When he started cuddling with me, I felt like a piece of meat. I couldn't believe I trusted the wrong person. I ended up pushing him away from me. But the thing is I confronted him the next day. He told me that I should be grateful that he made sure I was okay when i was drunk. That he was sorry for 'hugging' me and that he had the right to sleep well in his own house and had to squeeze into bed with me. I can understand many of this. But touching me when he was 100% sure I couldn't fight back was not it. I'm not able to process what happened and so I cannot help you. But I've learnt a lesson I will NEVER forget.

I've been there and I know the feeling of being dirty. Of feeling betrayed and the pressure to be silent because it has the potential to create problems. How do you know if he has not done it to anyone else? Also.. I'm saying this as a woman... guys very readily misinterpret consent. Many think any form of physical contact is consent (which is crazy). They *assume* consent in many cases. And when woman are silent, they think they can get away with it. I'm sorry this happened to you.

[Lottifan]

You shouldn’t drink so much as to get yourself in that situation. Consider yourself lucky he only put his hand in your panties.
Things could have been far worse

[Anonymous]

Alcohol is never to blame, his behavior is so fucked up

[ecfresh]

You should tell your parents what happened.

[Cress]

You've been sexually assaulted. What a dickhead.

[iFarted]

Being drunk is never an okay excuse...