A guy friend put his arm around me when he was drunk. Is this cheating?

My guy friend and I are pretty close, we joke that we're like brother and sister. We made out a few times when we were really young, but we joke now that it's gross to us.

Anyway when we were at a party, he kept trying to get close to me, putting his arm around me, but when I told him I was in a relationship (he knows this), he kept saying "Gross! I don't want to do anything with you, I just need an arm coaster". He kept playing goofy games with me, trying to grab my hands and tickle me. After a while, I was just like "listen, dude, I'm in a relationship, this is getting weird". But he kept insisting he wasn't trying to flirt with me. Now I feel really guilty, but maybe he was actually just trying to be silly. We didn't kiss or do anything like it, but I still feel really awful.

But at the same time, it just felt like how I act with my actual brother, so...idk


Most Helpful Girl

  • its not cheatting silly

    how is it cheating if you didn't want it? I mean if you liked it and you wanted more then you can feel guilty about it and consider it cheating

    you shouldn't feel guilty cause some friend grabbed you close to him...you couldve stop him and you even told him to stop...but he didn't so its not even your fault

    • It was fine at first because I thought he was going to take his arm away, but then he kept it there and that's when I felt weird.

    • Show All
    • I just felt like trying to tickle me and joke with me took it too far, and even though I told him to stop I feel bad that I didn't yell at him. But at the time it just felt like the way I act with my brother, so I didn't think much of it.

    • Man I had my ex tell me to show him my tattoos and say just take off your shirt not like I never seen you naked

      i mean I felt offended but like its the truth...i can't change w.e he said or did but at least I didn't take my shirt off for him

      same goes for you...tickling is tickling...joking is just stuff he didn't mean/sarcasm...you didn't stop him? at least you tried to tell him you were in a relationship.

      and if you feel really bad about it just tell your boyfriend then...thats what I do! nothing to hide

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What Guys Said 2

  • I have a long time buddy who I have known since grade school. When we get really, really drunk we hang all over each other like we're queer. I don't think he was trying anything other than just being a goofy drunk.

  • "listen, dude, I'm in a relationship, this is getting weird"

    A guy who can't get a hint like this respects neither you nor your relationship, and isn't worth dealing with. Let him know, VERY firmly.


What Girls Said 2

  • Well it's definitely not cheating! Maybe he was just being friendly, we all get a bit more friendly and touchy after we've had a drink so I wouldn't worry about it. If you feel guilty about it then just talk to him about it and tell him you didn't feel comfortable with him putting his arm around you etc..

  • He is not your brother though so just be careful. It's not cheating but it does sound to me like there are some feelings there on his part. Girl/guy friendships can be tricky sometimes and it is not uncommon for one of them to start developing feelings. If you guys have made out before than no matter what he says there is some kind of attraction there.

    • Good point- he is interested in a girl right now but who's to say he's not into me too...I guess I should limit my contact with him

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