Guys, would you ever date a girl who used to date assholes?

[LegendarySir]

You meet a girl, she seems nice and all, but says she's only dated assholes before. Would that raise a red flag for you, or would you not care?

[alice55]

That's a red flag in the sense she made it sound that the problem on ALL her relationships were the men she dated and never her, which make it sound as she's immature and unable to better herself (realize what she had done wrong in the relationship and admit it).
A relationship is between 2 person not one, in general where there's a problem it's the both that are "guilty" of it and most of the time it's a communication problem.

Like the guy do something the girl didn't liked, she don't said it to him and act passive agressive or give the cold shoulder the guy don't understand what he had done wrong and get frustrated by this treatment he's getting (because he don't understand, she doesn't say anything and he thinks he's treated unfairly) and then it usually go into a big fight where both or one throw insult and then they hate each other.

This is such a basics fight, most fight are about a communication problem. People don't want to seem controlling so they say nothing when their partner do something they don't like but it does truly bother them, their partner can feel it, get frustrated, etc...

[SuzyB]

From someone who has only dated assholes before my current fiance... no, there is no need to worry.

I didn't seek the assholes I dated, I genuinely thought they were nice guys until their true colours came out (addictive personality that made his a cheater, someone I found out was married only after we were already in a relationship, someone who "loved me" but then couldn't decide to be fully committed or not). I had major trust issues going into the relationship with my partner, he knew my history and had all the patience in the world with me, he proved himself to be a good guy over and over again, he accepts that occasionally I'll get a bit paranoid. I trust him completely and I am happy to say that we are getting married next year.

[Lliam]

Maybe a tiny red flag. Bad judgment can be a sign of unresolved emotional issues. But you can't really know a person until you have been with them for a while. A person could seem perfectly nice and then later turn out to be a jerk. Putting yourself on the line and later discovering that your partner is an ass hole doesn't necessarily mean you have poor judgement. Failing to dump someone once you discover that they are an ass hole is far worse than failing to see through them from the get go.

People learn lessons through experience. I would respect the fact that, even after some bad experiences, she is still out there putting in the effort to find a decent man. That shows character. And if she was dating me, it would mean that her taste isn't all bad. ;-)

[SuperManiac]

It's at least a warning sign. I'd slow down at the very least in that case and prefer being friendly (maybe flirty but friendly) to see how she's like, whether she's very insecure or not, these sorts of things. It's like you don't want to become the type the girl is tempted to date you because she's fed up with assholes and you're the first genuinely kind type she has met.

[SuperManiac]

[...] become the type the girl is tempted to date [because] she's fed up with assholes [...]

[LegendarySir]

You'd feel like you're being used right?

[SuperManiac]

Must admit I used to draw lots like that in the beginning. I guess I have a demeanor about IRL that draws those types. I have found it a warning sign though like there's a probability of some baggage and issues and insecurities there. So if I was to give advice to my younger self, I'd say to slow down and don't dive into dating.

[SuperManiac]

>> You'd feel like you're being used right?

I don't know about "used" but in my opinion, it can become like a "desperation". I've come to see things like relative ability to "choose" is a good thing. If I use a simple example, a small and frail man in a physical confrontation *may* be wise and brave and avoid conflict with a bigger man confronting him, but he could also be a coward desperate to avoid a fight. But it's easier to deduce a more meaningful sense of "choice" from the opposite scenario: of a bigger man with a small and frail man confronting him when he chooses to be kind and patient. There is no fear or desperation in this context, for sure.

So when navigating suspicious scenarios like this, I prefer more investigation.

[SuperManiac]

Before instead of investigating, I bought into the temptation of dating the girl and wanting her, and even noble ideas of loving her and committing to her. I wasn't so good at attracting women back then. I might have solely attracted based on the gentle and patient and empathetic qualities alone, so I drew cynical women who wanted to try something different from the assholes (or so they claimed) that they dated. But I was very foolish, and maybe thinking too much with the wrong parts of my body. :-D

[nerms123]

The thing is it’s not really the worst thing to have dated some jerks. But it’s kinda bad judgement to tell the guy outright that you only dated assholes. Most people have one or two bad relationships in their past but saying something like that is kinda like putting yourself down which isn’t attractive.

[holograph]

To me it wouldn't come across as putting yourself down. It would come across worse. It would come across like you are Taylor Swift and your goal in life is to destroy people (because she literally makes a living shit talking her exes and it's extremely disrespectable).

[holograph]

Nope. It's one thing if she has dated guys that turned out to be assholes. It's another thing to be coming up front and telling me her exes were assholes. It's a very Taylor Swift thing to do. It would make me disrespect her, and it would make me doubt that her assholes were actually assholes at all. I would suspect that she was, in fact, the real asshole.

[MusicMayhem]

She's just telling you what she is attracted to. As such I'd take it as a compliment. If a girl calls you a player/asshole what she's really saying is that you're good with women. She might not like the idea of being attracted to someone who can get many other women as it increases her chance of being dumped in favor of better girls, but ultimately she can't deny her attraction to you.

[SomeGuyCalledTom]

As the world always was, so it will always be...

If she's only dated assholes, she will continue to only date assholes. That's clearly her preference, and I'm not invested enough to act like the asshole she clearly wants me to be. I'd rather find another girl who actually has her head screwed on straight. The girl who "only dates assholes" I'd probably try to fuck still, but I wouldn't see it going further than something casual.

[Anonymous]

Back in my late 20's, I worked with a guy who was a bonafide A-S-S-H-O-L-E... This guy had no problems finding women. I was always puzzled as to what the attraction was actually. Most of the women dumped his ass after they figured him out. Many of them saw me as an eligible bachelor after they broke up, but I could never get around the idea that they were with him so I never dated any of them. Man that guy was an ass. He was an ass just for the sake of being an ass.

[Opinion Owner]

Thinking of old stories about that guy. He drove a Corvette and someone got mad at him. I think it was a guy who found out he was banging his girlfriend. He scraped "Fuck Off" on the paint of the car. Funny thing, he drove around with that scraped in his paint before he had it fixed. Maybe he thought that was a badge of honor?

[JakeMist86]

Of course!
I have the opinion that most (not all, let's say 85%) guys are assholes pretending to be reasonable humans. The ass holes though are likely the ones that are entitled/confident enough to ask her out in the first place. So, look for the guys that don't make eyes contact right away and are social awkward, find your diamond in the rough. Gotta do some digging to find that gem though.

[jgokgotit]

Unless she volunteered the info I would never know about her exes. I do not ask about exes, volunteer info about mine nor do I care to discuss exes. I will base my thoughts about her on who she is at the present.

[Anonymous]

Likely not. She will be bored with a guy who tells her she's beautiful, pays attention to her, listens to her, etc.

Women like that only want broken and toxic men who they can try to change, for some idiotic reason women do this over and over. Seems like a complete waste of time.

[tara987]

I certainly hope so or I will never get another date.

[hellionthesagereborn]

Depends on why (though to be honest, I feel like every woman dates assholes), but I would be concerned if it was something she had done consistently.

[PoohBoy38]

Never, That's a red flag in the sense she made it sound that the problem on ALL her relationships were the men she dated and never her, which make it sound as she's immature and unable to better herself (realize what she had done wrong in the relationship and admit it).
A relationship is between 2 person not one, in general where there's a problem it's the both… [+]

[Loving_Husband]

I'd date her. Sometimes it seems guys that assshioles are good at fucking. So maybe she was just in it for some good dick!

[Myster917]

I mean if she's interested in me and I like her I probs wouldn't care

[Section]

I don't know somebody who would willingly date someone that they themselves consider an asshole is kinda pathetic. I feel like it would only not be a problem if retards are what you're interested in.

[Jayden01]

Most women i've talked to have said they've dated assholes. They just have a negative thoughts towards there past relationships

[MementoMori_]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sEJ7l0kfDic

[lernulo]

A red flag not, but a not invest one, yes.
If a woman love assholes there are poor chances she loves me.

[ask4any]

It all depends. Now if I'm correct don't 95% of exe's become assholes just for the mere act of the break-up?

[Massageman]

Probably - At least it would show that she is finally getting more discerning in her choices.

[Browneye57]

Oh dear... EVERYBODY is a asshole eh? So much whining.