What would you do if your boyfriend/friend was homophobic?

Question

Lets say your boyfriend doesn't like trans people or gay people. He calls trans people freaks of nature who don't live in reality and feels uncomfortable with even hugging another guy. He says hugging other guys are gross, he refuses to be physically touchy with any man. He says gay men are disgusting and he doesn't talk to weirdos like them. - what would you do guys?

dimetridrossos · Accepted Answer

God tells us to love everyone, although we don't have to agree with them we still have to love them. I do not agree with the LGBT community and if you have ever seen the gay pride event... you will know what I mean... it is absolutely disgusting how they embrace their sin. If someone has gay feelings and they are ashamed of it and try to change it thats one thing. But for someone to be out there EMBRACING a sin like that is just disgusting. homosexuality is on the same level as eating pork in God's eyes, but when do are doing all these perverted things and being proud of it is even worse. Also if you are going to be hitting me with the "they are just born that way" argument (like everyone does) there is evidence that they aren't born gay and that external influences while growing up can change your sexuality from the natural sexual orientation (straight) to a perverted one. My dad as a kid experienced some gay feelings before and he didn't spend very much time with his father because he was always working, and its been proven that there is a link between boys spending less time with their fathers to homosexuality. Either way, we are supposed to love them, although they are sinful, it would be wrong to judge the non proudly expressing homosexual more then the pork eating Christian.

Section · Accepted Answer

I would open my mouth really wide and yell," NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO YOU HAVE TO SUPPORT MEN CUTTING THEIR DICKS OFF AND SUBJECTING THEMSELVES TO A HIGH SUICIDE RATE AND HAVING TO DILATE THEIR DEFORMED HOLE THAT WILL NEVER HEAL NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. CHILDREN SHOULD HAVE THE CHOICE TO CUT OF THEIR GENITALS BUT HAVE NO SAY WHEN IT COMES TO CONSENTING FOR INTERCOURSE NOOOOOOOOOOOOO. IF YOU DISAGREE YOU SHOULD GO TO JAIL. YOUR BIGOT BOY FRIEND SHOULD GO TO JAIL NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooOoooOooOOOooOoOooOOOOooo"

mamasan · Accepted Answer

This is a hard one for me. I don't judge anybody for anything, unless they are unkind to other people. Whatever lifestyle you choose, whatever race you are, whatever your body weight... it's all fine by me as long as you're not hurting other people. My ex would frequently make negative comments about other people (people he saw in person or people he saw on TV) based on one of the above characteristics. It always rubbed me the wrong way, and I would often call him on it.

By the time the comments started coming, we had been together for several years. As much as it bothered me, I didn't feel like it was reason enough to end a long-term relationship. Over time, I started to realize that these comments were just a small piece of his overall character. Don't get me wrong. I don't think he's a bad person per se, I just think he was raised very differently that I was and we clearly had different views on a lot of things. Ultimately, we broke up after 5.5 years together.

CubsterShura · Accepted Answer

As long as they don't act disrespectful or discriminatory towards them in the outside world, I don't mind them having a more liberal or radical opinion compared to mine.

In my religion, homosexuality is not approved and I would never pretend that it is something okay to do. But also I never see them any different from people indulging in other kinds of sins like fornication, gambling, whatever it is. I don't support killing or discriminating them. I just like to maintain a decent distance from a bisexual or lesbian woman just how I would around any man out there too. If that's homophobic let it be.

So yeah, again, as long as he isn't just discriminatory or rude or whatever towards homosexual people outside, like some do when they bully or even violate these people... That's the shit I wouldn't tolerate.

Account · Answer

I would stop being friends with them.

coachTanthony · Answer

I think I know that girl in the photo! LOL

hellionthesagereborn · Answer

They have every right to feel that way, just as you have every right to feel differently. If they are not hurting any one then it shouldn't matter, if you have a friend that is gay and they don't like them then that's something he would have to deal with but otherwise he can do as he wishes. Its far worse to force another person to think like you do then it is to disagree with their point of view, besides which you will never convince a person otherwise by trying to control their thoughts or cutting them out of your life.

amanda_smith · Answer

I'd break up with him. I wouldn't want to be with anyone that was homophobic, sexist, racist, etc etc.

Not to mention if you ever had kids, what if one was gay? Then you'd have to be put in a position of choosing between your SO and your kid? Just, no. Not okay with people that aren't accepting of others.

Bribree18 · Answer

I wouldn’t ever date someone like that. I’m not one to disregard others beliefs, even if I find them disgusting and unreasonable, but to avoid conflict, as I like talking about politics and such, I wouldn’t date a man who has views the opposite of mine. If I started dating someone without knowing their political and social stances first (very unlikely) I’d break up with them. I just couldn’t love a person like that (not saying they’re unlovable, but personally, I would just see them as sad or broken compared to someone who is loving and accepting to all).

datgirl · Answer

I'm related to people who don't like or approve of homosexuality or trans people. Sometimes i don't like the way they talk about them cause it makes me think what if i were in that situation would they no longer love me? They have their opinions and I'm not gonna hate or block but speaking with hate is a problem for me

Amy_Theo · Answer

I've always been of the opinion that everyone is free to hold their own opinions on whatever. However, if his/her distaste for someone makes him/her treat said person poorly, that's a major no from me. A person who can be nice to others despite his/her personal feelings towards that person is the most beautiful kind there is (atleast in my eyes). So though I may feel uncomfortable that my SO has negative feelings towards a certain label of people, I would be willing to look past it. Heck, it may even make for great conversation where we could debate about our thoughts on it. but if their thoughts translate to actions that are hurtful to others, I would not give them the time of day. You don't have to like someone but you sure as hell can respect them.

Cherokeehp · Answer

My boyfriend was slightly homophobic when we met. He comes from a deeply religious family and it was what he’s been taught all his life. I didn’t notice his homophobia until we were already in a committed relationship. Over time he’s become much more accepting and respectful to the lgbtq community.

winterfox10 · Answer

I wouldn't care, it's not like I'm gay, so it doesn't even affect me. The few gay friends that I have, the fact they are gay doesn't even come up in any conversation ever. You wouldn't even know they were gay unless they actually told you. As for the touching thing; I don't like being touched either. So if he's cool not touching me, I'm cool not touching him.

Madeziner · Answer

I cannot understand a simple logic. Every one has its on pov and we are living in a free world but i guess living in a free world but with boundaries of social taboos, cultural issues and etc. Well every one has the right to do what they are comfortable with. We are simply no body to confront him. But i agree with one of th fellow member here, that if you have a problem then at least do not express it to avoid embarrass some one or being embarassed. Greet and meet every one with open heart. He or she has his own phenomenon and their own pov. So i think we should say the same to our boyfriend or girlfriend. If they still have problem then i guess we should not invite our gf/by over where we have to meet some one they dislike.

RobertToast1828 · Answer

So long as he doesn't advocate violence against them or does anything with the intent of mocking them, I don't see why the opinions he holds are so bad. With diversity advocacy comes the diversity of thought, opinion and expression, including those that don't necessarily conform to contemporary views on homosexuality.

Moonchild714 · Answer

I grew upnatound Hate Racists, Homphobs all my life Now I choose NOT to bring any of that into my life. So before I date or friend someone I find out where they stand on those issues, and one of the most Racists statements one can make is I have a Gay/Lesbian friend or I have a Black/Muslim/Latino etc... friend that's telling me that they should feel privileged to be your friend.

Jackieboi · Answer

Its a bit over the top how against it he is, making me stereotypically wonder if he has some feelings he wants to hide. Anyway he sounds a tad toxically macho. Its kinda upto you but dont be surprised if he treats you like his property.

Fuentes · Answer

Most REAL men are this way if you don't want a REAL MAN then go get yourself some fruitcake feminist pffft tf kinda man would wanna hug another man how could this offend you really, what world do you live in?

Girther10 · Answer

Are you asking girls about their boyfriends? Your last sentence is asking guys. If I were you, if that’s your boyfriend, just back off bc he’s just being narrow minded, and unless you’re someone who lives your entire life based on only your values, then look for another guy. He’s a normal young guy. Making an issue of it wil likely not end well for you.

HayleyMarie · Answer

It would be a deal breaker for me. If someone is really against someone’s sexuality just because it’s different from theirs-I’d rather not be involved. Especially because I have a close friend who is gay, and even his boyfriend has become a friend of mine.

morimeme1 · Answer

I would have a debate about it with him and analyze togetjer what is it exactly that makes him feel that way about things that are non of his business. If he does not at least shut up and never mention it again - I can't be with that person, I have several gay friends and demand tolerance.

Shahax · Answer

Have a couple friends like this , you probably can't force him to change his mind but if you really want to stay with him you gotta help him be more open minded, what I've done for a couple friends is not say anything for a long period of time before really telling the whole truth, honestly to me he sounds lied to by someone growing up and it stuck to him

LordSnuggles · Answer

He can think and believe what he wants as long as he isn't hurting anyone or infringing on their rights. And he isn't hurting me so, am I to impose my moral compass onto him. That's like someone unfriending you because they're vegan and you like steak. People think you're evil but that doesn't make it so.

Gopnik · Answer

He would be right in my opinion, i haven't had one good experience with those slimy fucks, 1 gay dude kept stalking me and a friend to the point of us finding out where he lived to first talk to his parents who didn't give a shit so we blew up the front window with fireworks because i was fucking done with the shitty scroungy fuck and the most recent one sends dick pics into random whatsapp groups and shit like that, oh and he's 32 and he once stole a fucking ambulance to qoute "get cigs"

Jeetin · Answer

That's a hard one for sure. I try to realise that not everyone has the opinions I hold. Are they overreacting and being a dingus? From what you said, I would say yeah. That being said, if you love them, you should probably have a conversation with them about it.

Bananaman177 · Answer

Describe to me why you think anyone would care.

Like, what is the problem? You want to bring gay men into bed with him?

What's the problem?

Like, what if he hated elephants. . . WHAT THE FUCK WOULD YOU CARE, why would that matter?

Unless you plan on bringing a bunch of gays and trannies around to hang out with, I don't see why this has anything to do with anything.

FreshOutaIdeas · Answer

Lol all these girls saying they don't like homophobes... Well for one that cultural Marxist terminology is all based on pseudoscience, and secondly; you girls are hypocrites unto yourselves - if any of you become heavily into a guy who command's your respect, you won't give a shit what he thinks about gays...

And for the record I think gays are mentally ill, nothing more, nothing less.

Anonymous · Answer

The boundaries of what is and not “phobic” keep getting pushed farther and farther.

I’m a conservative libertarian. Which means I don’t care what you do as long as you don’t get in peoples faces about it. But if the alphabet people are not content with just having people do their thing. They CRAVE attention and just have to, have to make a statement. They just have to have parades, they just have to be showcased in entertainment, they just have to single out Christian businesses and organizations if they won’t bake cakes for them. They just have to add their “identity” to their resume if they are running in politics.

It’s not about being equal for these people, it’s about being SPECIAL.

selfdestruction · Answer

My girl doesn’t like the gay agenda. I thing lesbians are terrible selfish people overall. Not all, but the majority suck. Gay men are overall amazing people. Some are little fags. But most are just great people.

I won’t leave my girl cuz she has different opinions.

Ria23 · Answer

Since i have such a close friend that is a gay male, i wouldn't have it, if you can't accept my friend how the fuck are you going to accept me, it's normal not to agree with some things people do but it never makes it ok to disrespect and discriminate just because you don't necessarily agree.

Adam1978 · Answer

Nothing don't really socialize much with gays so it wouldn't be a issue. I would still treat gays fairly and I would disagree a lot with that friend but as long as he doesn't act on it in a bad way I will simply ignore it. He has a right to his own opinion.

HeavyRoller · Answer

It's a compatibility question. If his beliefs are not compatible with yours then you're not in the right relationship. There's really only one thing to do. It's not something he should have to change just to be with you, and you shouldn't try to accept something that you can't.

roflgun · Answer

He’s allowed to have his opinion. As long as he’s not hurting anyone or being a complete psychopath. Everyone has their views, set of beliefs etc.. he doesn’t have to agree with it and I don’t expect him or anyone else to. However, living in North America he just has to be respectful of everyone regardless of his beliefs.

Hurlyburly · Answer

I do not think that I could be friends with anyone whos that retarded.

kittycat119 · Answer

Break up cause he's clearly gay and projecting his insecurity as hate

IAmRedThunder · Answer

Dump him. Being homophobic is a shitty quality for a person to have. Probably means he isn’t understanding either. Not interesteddddd in that.

Minerate · Answer

Wouldn't bother me one way or another. I can (and have) play devil's advocate for any side of most topics, including these, so if anything I might have some fun challenging perceptions while agreeing with others based on facts. It's all a world of gray.

As long as they are fun to hang out with/be around, it's a non-issue for me. If these types of issues are all they talk about though, I likely wouldn't be friends with anyone like that very long regardless of stance.

PeteyB · Answer

I personally feel as far as actual hate, I'm against it
I'm not supportive of legitimate generalized hate. Regardless of the societal perception etc, live and let live.
I have friends who are somewhat homophobic and we have had arguments, but having lived with people of a lot of backgrounds through college, it's not the label that you take issue with, it's the individual. A jerk is a jerk

SnowDrake · Answer

I would not be friends or date someone like that. We'd butt heads way too much. If they feel this way about homosexuals then they'll likely have other views I don't agree with. There's certain opinions I'll accept but this is not one.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

That's not a phobia; it's a preference. If you don't like your boyfriend's attitude, find another boyfriend. . . but don't expect him to change something just to please you.

NearlyNapping · Answer

It would be a plus. Someone who supported LGBT would be a minus.

R_ūshī · Answer

I'm not responsible for how or what he thinks. If he can behave around gays etc and not embarrass himself because of his ideologies, I'm fine with it.

HappyLeng · Answer

Doesn't bother me, he's entitled to his own opinion. I just dont like double standards where a man thinks it's hot for two women to make out but not if it's two men.

BCA6010 · Answer

Let him be. He's not worth your time, and it's none of your business anyway.

PikawattGamer · Answer

The man’s entitled to his opinion but if you like most people accept those people as part of society, just ask him to be less discriminatory.

Rippersavage · Answer

Everyone is entitled to their own point of view. However if he openly showed his homophobia to gay/trans people straight to their face then I'd say cut them loose. I couldn't give less of a fuck if someone was gay/trans, in fact I'm an ally.

AlexanderBrunnrgaard · Answer

A bit of a leap to say someone who didn't support homosexuality or transsexualism would oppose even hugging other men.

Hamsteroids · Answer

It’s okay if it’s not something you’re comfortable with but if you’re just flat out homophobic and rude, I can’t. That’s unacceptable

White-American89 · Answer

Assume they were gay. Most homophobia comes from in the closet repressed homosexuals so you could say homophobia is a problem within the lgbtq community rather than straight folks.

Clarke510 · Answer

Homophobic That's such a stupid word They aren't scared of gay people, they are assholes.

Necessity · Answer

I would try to talk to him about why his viewpoint is the way it is and try to discuss it openly. But ultimately having such a hateful outlook isn't compatible with my viewpoints and I wouldn't be able to stay with them

constantine15 · Answer

Wouldn't have a problem with it as long as they didn't be disrespectful towards them.

skeetskeetskeet · Answer

You should tell him it's safe to come out of the closet

Anonymous · Answer

Nothing sounds like all my friends already, not everyone agrees with the lgbt community you know they are communists who try and force group think and shame anyone who doesn’t

Myk105 · Answer

he's insecure about his own masculinity or just a bad person sis u need a different man because that right there is what we call toxic masculinity or make him see a therapist

NyfikenSyd · Answer

It's a scenerio I can't picture...

That kind of person would never be my friend to begin with. I can't imagine him having sane ideas on other topics of importance to me either so I wouldn't have befriended him to begin with.

Anonymous · Answer

I'm homophobic so I wouldn't care to much. I really just dont like black gays. Cuz I think we above that and it shows mental weakness to he gay black Male that's European culture.

So I tolerate them in order to get ahead in this world

DaddyRollingStone · Answer

My girlfriend doesn't seem to mind. I'm not afraid of being physically intimate with my male friends though, the Romans used to get naked, cover each other in olive oil and wrestle for fun.

jss123 · Answer

I'm not homophobic. I just have an issue with some of their boundaries. I recently was peeing at a urinal and a gay man looked down at my penis and said "nice cock". To me that's inappropriate.

ShortCircuit · Answer

I don't know that it would necessarily be a deal breaker for me, but it would be unfortunate that I couldn't hang out with her and my non-hetero friends at the same time.

bamesjond0069 · Answer

So he runs and cries and has a panic attack if he even sees a gay person? No? Well thats homophobic. I think you mean he has morals and doesn't believe its right and thats a good thing so you should be supportive.

Shamalien · Answer

Trans are delusional... not hugging men is a little weird but whatever

Ganta2Igarashi · Answer

Let him be as he is I wouldn't say that it is a reason to dump a perfectly fine relationship

supercutebutt · Answer

I'd buy him a male prostitute so he could finally come to terms with his true self :).

What would you do if your boyfriend/friend was homophobic?

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