I lied to my girlfriend, now what?

[matthewtheexploit]

I smoke cigarettes and weed occasionally. My girlfriend has caught me lying to her three times about smoking cigarettes. I've been doing since before I met her. I could never tell her that I smoke weed because I know she wouldn't have gone out with me. She just recently caught me lying again about cigarettes. I can't take it anymore, I can't take lying to her. I love her. So I told her everything. I told her on Friday nights when I used to sleep over at my friends house I used to smoke. I smoke weed once in a while but not alot. Our two years is coming up in two weeks, I don't know what to do. The thing is in some way I don't regret not telling her,because If I did tell her she might not of even dated me. I'm not sure what too do. I told her last night over the phone. Now she won't answer my text or my calls.

[lostomantic1987]

Well I don’t think the main problem was telling her straight out when you started dating mainly because we all have secrets, we hide behind false pretenses of ourselves usually when we meet anyone especially someone we want to connect with. However it is over time that you are supposed to come put with such discrepancies. Now your case is a little dicey but the fact that it is a habit day to day in one case makes it a lie every time you commit the act you lie about not to mention she has caught you 3 times to which she was angry at all 3 I take, so she has been patient with you. Sometimes if you love a person you need to change habits that don’t change you as a person. Quit smoking its bad for you anyway as for the weed well quit that to. Now as for her not answering you its been two years I say it’s a 50 / 50 shot as to weather or not she’s fed up with the 2 years of constant lying or she’ll see you reasoning as to why you lied , see how much she loves you and she didn’t waste 2 years with just anyone. Both choices are normal and fully backed by events so I say if you love her and I know this may sound harsh fess up to what you did and take her answer and act on it. Weather a yes or no , if yes she wants you still then change, if not then see her side and end it in the least give her space in today’s world 2 years is a long time so give her some space then try again.

[Newport100]

Sooner or later you were going to lose her. She would have slowly found out anyway and eventually dropped you. You actually did the right thing, you came clean and told her everything. You still lost her but you didn't lose any integrity. Now you have your integrity and no girl.

She might appreciate your honesty later one, there is still that chance. But now you have to take a long hard look at yourself, did you choose cigarette's and weed over your girl? Looks like you did.

One idea is to stop smoking cigarette's (I know its hard, I am smoking a ciggy as I type) and quit weed. When you are successful at quitting both of those things, you can try to approach her again. Hopefully, she doesn't find another guy by then.

Good luck man!

[beachtexasgirl89]

Why don't you tell her you'll quit? Quitting weed is incredibly easy. I was able to quit for 8 months when my boyfriend didn't want me to do it. As for cigarettes, that's harder, but if you say you only do it occasionally, then you're probably not addicted. Tell her that it's hard to find a guy who doesn't smoke anything, especially at your age, but that you love her enough to quit all of it.

[Lis4Loca]

I think if she loves you she will love you even though you smoke cigarettes and weed. If she's going to be like that, I feel that she doesn't like you, she likes what she makes up in her mind to be her perfect boyfriend. I think she's being a little extreme honestly.

[Glennvk]

Thank you Lis4Loca I had the feeling it was me. I started lying since I know what her reaction would be if I told her. It's so hard to lie to someone who you know you are going to dissapoint and they forcefully want you to quit an addiction that's hard to beat.

[Tiffany-in-okc]

you shouldnt have lied to her, you shoulda told her up front but that's too late. You need to tell her if you don't wanna quit, and hopefully she won't want to try and change you and just accept it. Be honest with her.

[Hugo-]

ooo buddy I have bad news. this happend to me and well lets just say she will come round just comfront her in person go and see her. The down fall in this is your going to have to give up smoking and weed. tell her that your going to give it up make sure she realises that she is far better then any cigarette or splif

xxx hope this helps

[Anti-God]

you should kick the habit of smoking of weed and cigs. weed is easy to kick buy cigs isnt. first week you lose 90% of it but second week you will be craving it.

well text or call her and say I'm quiting for you.

[Confused614]

I think if she doesn't want you smoking and you love her you should quit. If she means that much to you that is.