What are some funny/clever responses to when a guy asks “what are you wearing?”?

[Anonymous]

I’ve been asked the age old question, “what are you wearing?” by a guy I like and have been talking to a few weeks now. He tends to ask that every single time we talk on the phone. What’s a clever/funny response to that question? I usually am not wearing anything interesting so it usually just takes me aback and I don’t know how to respond.

[LesterJester]

A suit made from human skin, then pull the phone away from your mouth a bit and yell out... IT PUTS THE LOTION ON ITS SKIN OR GETS THE HOSE AGAIN!!

Or

A thong I made out of my public hair that I collected over the months and woven on a loom.

Ned Flanders' ski suit... Feels like I'm wearing nothing at all!

Just two buttery popcorn bags over my boobs.

I'm wearing nothing, just sitting here eating cheetos and masturbsting, making everything orange.

My dad's saggy old underwear.

Nothing, I just covered myself in petroleum jelly and about to go sliding down the staircase.

I'm wearing a dress that I coated in your dead skin cells so now you're never too far away from me (then start breathing creepy)

I'm still wearing the same clothes I had on the last time you saw me. I should probably change soon, as the skid mark is starting to move up my back.

Well, I thought I'd be sexy tonight and wear the crochet doily bra and panties my great grandmother made years back that were handed down from generation to generation. They used to be white, but are now kind of off brown.

Jeans, Jean jacket, rainbow socks, and a tube top. Oh, I also put rhinestones on the jacket and cut my hair into a mullet.

What am I wearing? Well, how about I ask you what you're wearing for a change? - he describes - Oh my God, that's exactly what I'm wearing too! Let's meet up and go out on the town! We can be match'ies and everyone will know we're together! What? You don't want others to know we're a couple? Is there something wrong with me? I embarrass you, don't I? DON'T I? Why don't you answer? Hello? Hello? - He hung up on me!

[nathanp97]

If he is black go with a white robe with a pointy hood.

Otherwise go with a goat head followed by the words "praise satan."

Basically just try to think of some meat up stuff, or just reference movies or historical stuff and see if he gets it. Could be a fun game.

[Moonchild714]

I usually say Wearing my Birthday Suit. Or I'll Say Nothing. Another is If you get over here I'll be wearing you.

[Asker]

Love it 👏 but don’t understand the birthday suit part? What if it’s not ur bday

[Moonchild714]

Birthday Suit means Naked since you were born with nothing on.

[Moonchild714]

If you are into the guy describe sexy lingerie make sure it's something you already have in case he wants to come right over. Sexy dress again make sure you own one. Or go naked theme. There comes a point in the relationship when he asks that you are HONEST, he'll be stunned at first but then realize he makes you feel Safe and Comfortable and that means more than Sexualizing you at that momemt. The first time I did with my husband before we were married he dropped everything came home and ravaged me, he said that was a bigger turn on knowing I feel Safe and Comfortable with him. Now I mix it up.

[Moonchild714]

Thank you for MHO.

[Nikki1989]

I am asked that question at least once a day, every day. I just tell the truth no matter how dull it may seem.

[Asker]

By whom? Lol

[brigfrey25]

You are so nice 😍 wish I had a friend like you lol.

[TBoneTrimm]

In a deep voice..."Uh kahkis!"

Or if your fun type just lie and tease him to find out what he likes.

Or take it to a whole other level and say " A gag ball, unicorn horn and nipple tassles... with your grandmas under wear!" I don't know

[sparke328]

"what are you wearing"
"pieces of connected cloth dangling from a structured pile of flesh and bones"
"so clothes?"

hope this helps lol

[lovedejj_xo]

When a guy ask me this 9 times out of 10 I’m in bed stuffing my mouth with food in my damn pajamas

[Asker]

SAME like tf do they expect me to say lol... I’m wearing stockings? Cuffs? A thong bodysuit?

[lovedejj_xo]

Honestly😂 it’s like you definitely don’t want to envision me right now lol

[brigfrey25]

Eh but that's kinda hot 😏

[Whatisthatname]

Just tell him what you're wearing? Although it sounds like he got sexual intentions when he say it and wants to hear "I'm naked" or "Just in these really cute underwear". I have had girls who tend to ask that a lot and it's pretty annoying.

[Furuok]

Some DNA out of reach from your existence? These old things nearly fall off me when next to you. Where you at? Nothing yet , probably nothing for awhile. Wanna play Peek-a-boo? So boo come get your peek! Something that reveals everything while standing in a windy window, hello neighbor. What am I wearing? My birthday suit!

[brigfrey25]

First of all. Does him asking such flips your mood. Or do you think it's annoying?

If yes, you will have to be upfront with him about it.

If you don't mind him asking. We are happy to help you find some good responses.

[Asker]

I doesn’t affect my mood. I just need responses

[Astarlessnightsky]

Just tell the truth?

Or my Spongebob Pyjamas, my Superman Cape, The skin of my enemies, a Potoato Linen Sack, Sunglasses and nothing else...

[Asker]

Something a little funnier?

[Astarlessnightsky]

Thats the most hilarious responses i can come up with, in English at least.

[Shiver]

Say nothing, but that you want to wear his skin. That usually gets a few laughs out of people.

[Asker]

That’s not sexual that’s evil right lol?

[Shiver]

Well, if you start with "I'm not wearing anything" it starts sexual, but then following up with "but I wanna wear your skin" makes it more fun and playful. Otherwise it gets generic pretty fast in my opinion. Lol

[Asker]

By skin... do you mean his dick?

[Shiver]

No, as in, his literal skin, to freak him out and then make him laugh when he realizes you're joking.

[meesegoMoo]

A raincoat, a mask, some glove-- wait! you're not with the police are you? We know what happens to snitches.

[PrudentGuy]

Just say you're starting a nude lifestyle and is enjoying it. Then lead him on but refuse to give anything more than words.

[leahzrc]

"I am wearing exactly what you would expect me to wear"

[Asker]

And what might that be?

[leahzrc]

its literally just a reply to make him assume what im wearing and then be turned off

[Usernamesrdumb]

Lol i dont think I've ever asked a girl this unless we were role playing and having phone sex. Sounds like something that would get screen shot and complained about in the court of Twitter.

[Asker]

He asks me this every time we call on the phone lmao (once over text) and he’s such a good looking guy as well. His looks don’t match the desperateness lmao. I was shocked

[Usernamesrdumb]

I wouldn’t do it but there maybe something innocent goinG on in his mind. Maybe he’s trying to visualize talking to you in person. Men are more visual. Just trying to give benefit of the doubt.

You should do a preemptive strike and ask him what he’s wearing. hehe.

[Asker]

Lol I did and he said “I’m in my boxers” but he’s not being innocent because every time he talks to me he mentions that he’s “hard”

[Usernamesrdumb]

Damn. Beat me to it.

Sounds like he’s trying to have phone sex with you. in my opinion.

[strateguy632]

"besides jewelery um... besides my earrings um..." pause. heehee

[SpacedCharr]

"The skin of a recently sacrificed goat. Hail Satan."

[Beta_Wolf]

Is it that bad to ask it? I always ask that too for my imagination

[Moonchild714]

Well we know you guys really want to just hear something sexy. Honestly, if it's a guy I barely know or we're just starting dating and he asks that question he automatically becomes a Fuck Boy. Now my Husband didn't ask that question until a couple months in and we were Sexual for a while.

[Beta_Wolf]

🤔 i just ask it so i can imagine her in it. Its not ment sexual tho

[Asker]

Lol ofc it’s sexual 😂 they’re trying to imagine your body in sexy clothing.. they’re fantasizing about you. 9/10 I ain’t wearing anything sexy at home so I don't know what y’all creepers expect

[Moonchild714]

Ok so @Beta_Wolf you really want her to say I'm wearing an oversized T-shirt and baggy sweatpants and a bandana wrapped around my head. What visual are you going to put in your mind? Be honest what are your initial thoughts be honest no judgments

[Beta_Wolf]

🤔 well i visualize it like she's having a chill night in clothes ur comfortable in laying in bed or couch (depending on where the tv is at)? I don't know why u assume we wanna hear you say something sexy?

[Asker]

@Beta_Wolf then why even ask? It’s a weird/creepy question and it most certainly is sexual. The guy that asked me that and I said I’m wearing a black dress, he proceeded to ask “how little/short” it was

[Moonchild714]

@Beta_Wolf Cute but Devilish inside... Says it ALL!!!

[Beta_Wolf]

Always so negative 😲 ur guy just went overboard lol i only ask what color and leave it after that

[Moonchild714]

Sorry @Beta_Wolf but but I don't believe you. People's Screen Names speak volumes about them and yours says a lot its ok. Just wish you would've admitted why you ask. Nobody knows each other on here, nothing to lose or gain.

[Beta_Wolf]

I am telling you the truth O. o

[Pink2000]

Clothes
“What kind of clothes”
The kind you wear...
-

[Asker]

Hahahaa 😂😂👏

[lcknm]

A pelt made of the skins of my enemies, and a hello kitty onesie.

[Guest25]

Next time he asks, real quick Google "hobo" and describe the first picture you see.

[Krekre]

What do i if he ask for a photo honestly it's crazy wants it's online it's over for me he's in the navy please help?

[taleets]

A diaper

[Asker]

😂😂

[sammy1537]

My boyfriend's green beret undies.

[NickiB]

A strap on.

Or

A penis Pump.

[Mystery_World]

Just say wedding ring 😂

[Asker]

But I’m only 18 lol he knows I’m not married

[Mystery_World]

Then say I'm wearing towel lol

[Asker]

What if he says “prove it I don’t believe u”

[Mystery_World]

Put a towel on bed and take a pic.. send it.

[Jacksoscar]

Tell him to use his imagination.

[Asker]

When I don’t answer the question he asks again lmao

[Gedaria]

The one I like is. Nothing but a smile...

[Anonymous]

73 jumpers at once

[Cannuck22]

just tell them nothing and leave it at that

[itsthatgurl]

"nothing"

[Asker]

Then he’ll say “prove it”

[DarthMeow]

"Uhh... Clothes?"

[Anonymous]

Your mother's underwear

[_uck_uckGoose]

My fur lined crocs

[jasco]

I am wearing my skin

[Iamanintrovert]

A dress.

[Asker]

Yeah then he’ll say “what kinda dress” and why are u wearing a dress in the middle of the night at home alone?

[Aphelion47]

Snake skin