Why do women hide their interest in men?

[Anonymous]

From most of the guys I know and my own experiences women seem not interested in guys. Either board or just pre occupied with there girl friends. From reading the anonymous posts here on Girls Ask Guys girls are interested in guys. Yet they say things like how do I let a guy know I like him without making it obvious? How do you flirt without overdoing it? And all the guy sees is a s girl who turns away from him and shows no interest. So why hide your interest? You are convincing guys you don't want to date you don't want to be botherd with us. But in seacret you do like us. By hiding it you are sending a totaly false mesage. I had to set the record straight from seeing your posts. But had I not there would have been no way to know girls are this worried about impressing guys. Y hide the truth?

Updates

+1 y

Ladies let me clear something up you are not going to scare guys off by telling them you like them. Clingy and commitment issues happen in the marriage stage because guys don't want you to change

Updates

+1 y

also almost all guys know what its like to approach a girl. we know how hard it is to be rejected. because of this a guy will be pulling for you when you ask him out. the second you ask a guy out he remembers being in your spot asking a girl out.

[Anonymous]

Yeah about that whole "you are not going to scare guys off by telling them you like them" HA!

I asked a guy to winter (aka sadie hawkins dance) in a very discrete yet nice way. A box of fortune cookies with a strip of paper in side that said "It would be my good fortune if you go with me to the winter dance" and my cell as the lucky number.

Besides that, all I had done was try flirting a bit and ask him to a party.

What did I get?

Not only did I "scare him off". Oh no, I got so much more for doing EXACTLY WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT.

While I was performing at the winter assembly, he publicly humiliated me in front of the entire winter court calling me a "junior freak", saying that he was glad that he lied to me about not being able to go to winter and the party, and he AND THE ENTIRE WINTER COURT spent the better half of the assembly laughing and pointing at me.

And I've asked guys out many times, like probably 3-4 times, so I know what it feels like to be the one who's afraid of someone rejecting you for asking them out. And in all my experiences, they've either been the above, being dumped at the dance for an ex, ditched twice, etc.

And yes I've been pursued by a guy that I didn't like back, so I know how hard it is to let them down gently, but I wasn't an asshole about it. Just honest, straightforward and didn't jerk around with their feelings because I know how it feels to have yours ripped out of your ass over and over again.

So tell you what, when guys stop treating girls like they are freaks for just asking them out (like you guys constantly say you want on this site), then maybe girls would be more open to the idea of not hiding their interest and asking guys out.

P.S. In all honesty, I think guys have it made in the shade that it's socially acceptable to ask girls out. Having experienced both sides of the coin, I honestly think it's a lot better to be able to actually DO something about the situation and have CONTROL to when you figure out if the person likes you, than having to WAIT to see if the person likes you and, if they do, HOPE that they realize that you like them back.

[DamZelNdisTress24]

THANK YOU! I'm a female but maybe it comes from being the chick who always hung out with the guys I CANT STAND WHEN FEMALES DO THAT. its almost as annoying as the "group bathroom trip" I just don't understand if you like someone put it out there if they blow you off. who cares you'll never know unless you put yourself out there. besides confidence makes a woman sexy.aggressive doesn't mean you have to lose your feminity but it means you ain't afraid to go after what you want most men I know lik e that in a girl. her ability to put herself out on a limb

[banker]

We just do not want to scare you away and think that we are clingy. If a guy thinks that a girl is so much into him and is serious about him, it might creep him out and start running away. We don't want that to happen, we would just lose the guy we like. It would also make it more difficult for us to have him. By playing hard to get, it gives guys more challenge and tend to like us more. I think. If he pursues a girl, we would think that he is serious about us and not just using us.

It is also more painful to us to be rejected.

[Asker]

I think because girls can find guys clingy or creepy you are asuming guys feel the same way. guys do not get turned off by the same things girls do. one of the biggest turn ons for a guy is for a girl to say she likes him. or can I help you witth this. guys love this. girls talk about if a guy persues them to much they view them as a stalker. guys don't view you as a stalker short of keying his car or damaging property. if you are nice and friendly the guy will be turned on by your persistance.

[Blake26]

Well I don't mean to steal Atomizer's thunder but he brought up some good points. Too many times both parties are scared and afraid of rejection that they both sit on the sidelines and do nothing. And guess what comes out of it all? Nothing. The bottom line is that (listen up people, this is genius!) your love and affection for the person has to be greater than your fears. If you can overcome them, then congradulations, you're now qualified to tell them you feel like the luckest person on earth to have met them.

[martyfellow]

Welcome to the USA. Most women, I would say clearly the majority, care only about guys' money, not them, and are emotionally cold. They are pretty indifferent if you don't have money, or if you can't get them high or drunk. Why do you think guys try so hard to get them high or drunk?

Fortunately we have a lot of women who are immigrants or still have their old country culture even if born here.

That's why Asian women are so popular, not that many haven't gone McDonalds on us.

[Anonymous]

cause a lot of guys shit themselves if a women shows her true feelings too early on! So we have to play the "game", most of us hate playing the game but if we said to a bloke I really fancy, you I'd like to spend all my time with you, and one day get married and have lots of babies with you ~ how many NANO seconds do you think it would take before the bloke runs a million miles per hour in the other direction?

Men play the dating game

Women play the dating game

Hopefully along the way we will meet in the middle!

[Asker]

Well the fear of marriage and kids is the fear you will change. guys fear they will loose the happy energetic person you are and turn into the woman at the laundry mat who is scolding her husband. when a guy first meets you this problem doesn't exist yet. how can he fear you changing if he doesn't know who you are to want you to change. like the dating stage and cuddle romance great sex stage so much they don't want to leave it for marriage. you say I like you to him and watch his face light up

[Anonymous]

girls don't want to be obvious about their feelings because we are afraid of rejection. If we are totally obvious about liking a guy, it makes us vulnerable. There is no guarantee that the guy will like us back. Basically we like to maybe flirt a little, make a little eye contact and guage the guys reaction before we become totaly flirtatious and obvious. If the guy flirts back and holds the eye contact, then we may show our feelings more.

If the girl is shy, it will be super hard for her to hold eye contact with the guy she likes. Shy girls tend to basically ignore the guys they like unintentionally. They don't have the guts to be really open about their feelings. All girls WANT to show their feelings for the guys they like, but we don't all have the guts to make ourselves that vulnerable. Also, when you think a girl is showing no interest, she probably thinks she IS showing interest.

[lost-soul]

well, I don't like that, I love to be straight. but I guess sometimes girls like guys so much and they get afraid to be rejected by them, so they'll lose the hope, so that's how I see it ! and also there is a sort of other factors like the way they are raised parents specially moms raise their daughters that a guy shall initiate, and they just have to give hints which of course might be misunderstood or overlooked so always straight is better, what do you have to lose?

[revolutionkid16]

Girls are scared about rejection or being hurt.

Then if they do end up with the guy, it could be a big mistake.

Don't blame women for being cautious It's risky business.

[Asker]

If a girl asks a guy out and the guy isn't interested he will still be flatterd and as corny as it sounds he will be proud of her. I know that's weird for a girl to hear but its true. its so rare a girl asks us out that when it does happen it makes our day. you can turn on a guy who wasnt interested in you just by flirting and asking him out. or offering to help him with something. my friend was depressed for a week cause he felt so bad about turning a girl down. we have to go threw it with girls

[BrainsandBrawn]

Or he'll laugh in your face...

[Atomizer]

A few thoughts:

-Women usually expect men to initiate things.

-Some women expect men to chase them.

-Women can hide their interest so they're not hurt if they guy's _not_ interested.

[Anonymous]

Oh and I've never had a bloke be totally open and honest about there feelings, in fact I'd say most (not all and might just be UK) blokes hide or supress their feelings or keep quieter than women do.

[Asker]

I think there making a mistake. you won't get angry if a guy asks you out. they should go for it. everyone should take it as a compliment cause when someone asks you out they are giving you a major compliment