What's the best way to start a conversation with a girl, if you are a really introverted person?

[Raunak19]

[alleng12345]

@Raunak19 The simply yet extremely complicated answer is to 'just talk'.

If you are shy and get anxious when it comes to interacting with others then you are like millions of other people.

I am telling you this because being shy and anxious in social settings is not abnormal especially this day and age with so much pressure being put on people to be 'accepted'.

Now as always practice makes purpose. One G@Ger suggested making female friends first, while sound advice I disagree with this approach.

YOU are the one putting pressure on yourself if you are anxious when talking to woman and just trying to be friends probably won't make it any easier.

Instead just 'simply' try to talk to them.

It WILL GET EASIER the more you do it. Just realize that it won't always work and you may face some rejection even though you are simply trying to interact.

Comedy usually works great at breaking the ice, but learning to banter takes a lot of practice and requires you to get out of your shell and learn how to talk with people, hence, practice.

If you are really shy start by talking to yourself in a mirror.
Why?
So you can see how you look when you talk... smilr with your mouth AND your eyes... learn to put an authentic happy face on so they can see you str excited to talk to them.

Start with practicing in the mirror and holding a conversation with yourself.
Ask yourself questions and one thing that is key, is that a vast majority of people prefer to talk about themselves, not listen to others talk. So work on having a lot of questions that can get the person talking about themselves and continue talking about themselves.

Try to avoid asking much about there career. Some will advise you to ask about work,

but don't go much past

'what do you do?'

She answers and then switch it up to,

That sounds interesting (if it is!)

And then,

"Well if you could do it all over would you pick the same job or would you do something different?"

Let her answer and if she moves towards a different job choice go with that. People don't want to talk about their work... they work to make money, and very few do what they want, however if she says,

"Oh NO I would rather be an astronaut, "

Then you know to talk about space and the cosmos...

I

[Kaazsz]

I say you learn to be friends with females first. Make hella female friends if you can. Find a way to do activities with them. Volunteer, whatever you have to do to get yourself around a lot of girls.

Once you are able to become friends with girls easily, it becomes very easy to talk to ANY girl. They’re all the same. And so that makes it quite easy to meet new girls.

Other than that I’ll say this:

Look into her eyes, smile big (and smile genuinely which comes from having good feelings towards women which comes from being friends with lots of them) and say “hi!”

If she looks right back into your eyes and smiles, you did good. She might not say hi back. You might be too confident and make her feel shy. But if she smiles you’re good! Keep going! If she keeps looking into your eyes you’re good!

If you’re in your head wondering if you have fucked up yet or ANY negative thoughts, you fucked up. You fucking fucked up.

You need to get comfortable with women. They aren’t scary. They’re pretty great actually. It’s 100000% worth it to go out there and engage yourself in activities that will surround you with women.

[ghost_101]

Ik it’s super hard but just try and push yourself and be like “hi my name is ____ I’ve seen you around (or have a clsss with you) and wanted to meet you”. 99% of girls appreciate that a guy will be interested in them but that they’re not coming on strong to where it’s creepy. You know what I mean?

[jennifer_bloom]

The guy I notice at work asks me questions to show me he is thinking about me - like recently he asked me if I rode on an airplane before I got my job in Canada - he is trying to figure out how culturally Chinese I am - other co workers ask me if I'm a student etc...

[rjroy3]

Keep things low energy.

1. Make eye contact (does she may eye contact? If yes, go to 2)

2. Smile (does she give a genuine smile back? If yes, go to 3)

Note: "genuine smile = little crinkles show on the sides of her eyes. You can always feel the difference between a genuine smile emotionally and a polite smile/awkward uncomfortable smile. Getting the genuine smile is the subconscious "come talk to me". If you do not get s genuine smile, then move onto the next one. She's not ready for you"

3. Walk up, say hello followed by "what brings you here?" Or something about the environment. Environment is an easy one. Like commenting on the band. Or simply talking about the vibe in the room. Maybe saying"i love this place/I hate this place/this place is chill". Whatever. Talk about environment and things happening within it.

Congrats. You're in a conversation. On you to make it interesting, but simple stepping stones. Talk about

1. What brings her out/the environment
2. Her career/school/passions
(if she's working and hates it, then dont talk about work. If she likes it, do. If she's in school and hates her major, dont talk about school. If she likes it, do. Talk about things she's passionate about.)
3. Positive childhood stories.

This naturally happens in good conversation and if you look back at good conversations you've had, then likely you hit all of those topics. It's because they're emotionally relevant. The biggest thing is allowing her to talk, as in. Don't feel a need to always be saying something. To always have something to say or to always be witty/cool/smart in the moment. Lower the bar. Relax.

Pay attention for girls who are receptive to you right now. Open the line of communication with them. Let them talk and relax. Be playful

[LEXandTATI]

First... Don't run behind the queens. They are not worth. Pick girls with equal interests. The best way is to be on the same level. I start good conversations with absolutely minor things. Like asking for directions ot wich corffe is the best. It realy depend on the situation. What you ask is minor. The way you ask is absolutely key. So be flirting but on the same level with her. Once you are in a conversation about anything. Like is your coffe still hot...🙄🤣😎. You can be gental and flirting some kind. But yea... Schwarzenegfer wasn't born he looks. Practice everyday. You can't loose.

[NineBreaker]

If she's someone you know, I always find that the direct route is best.

If she's some random girl, your options are:
1. Small talk: Start a conversation about something random, and just escalate it to something more interesting. Don't talk about yourself too much, but be honest.
2. Don't start the conversation. In fact, don't engage in conversation at all. She's a stranger. Didn't your mama ever tell you not to talk to strangers?

[samisayaskme]

Start with small talk and keep an ear open for things you have I common

to see if you have anything in common you could ask

Do you read alot?
Do you binge watch and netflix series?
Do you like video games?


Or to learn more about her you could ask

Do you have any siblings?
What was I like growing up?
What do you do for fun?

[amandamandy2002]

don’t be nervous, it’ll just flow naturally. i would start off my introducing myself and asking them about themselves such as what do you like to do in your free time? i would really love to get to know you more would you mind giving me your number? just small things like that go a long way

[mattl338]

I’ve tried that before and it seemed weird for me to do if I didn’t have a reason to talk to them. I don't know maybe its my town or something or maybe im just really introverted but i just feel awkward going up to someone and trying that because nothing brought me into talking to them and so its pretty awkward and so I avoid doing it

[amandamandy2002]

i completely understand because sometimes it can be hard to break out of your shell, but honestly if you just go up to a woman and say “hi i thought you looked very beautiful and i was wondering if i could get your number” you’ll have her in a split second. i know it can be scary especially if you are shy, but it’ll be worth it in the end and all you have to do is say that one sentence

[mattl338]

Hmm good advice, i just have never done that because im reserved and a bit of a loner who is selective about who I talk to. If i go up to a girl and say “hi i thought you looked very beautiful and I was wondering if i could get your number” im worried that it would make her uncomfortable because I've never seen someone do that. And if i were to ask her that, what would i even do or say to her after i get her number? Would i ask if shed like to get to know me or something?

[Will23v]

@mattl338 @amandamandy2002 U really think most women wouldn’t respond negatively to that. I think girls would find it creepy for a total stranger to call them pretty and ask for their number.

[amandamandy2002]

nope girls like when things are straightforward we don’t like to play games unless we are in charge. it’s just how we work it feels good to have a compliment and we take it positively

[mattl338]

@amandamandy2002 I believe you, what @Will23v said describes how i feel about doing that because i felt like girls would think its creepy. Im not sure until i try i suppose but it makes me nervous haha

[Alex_988_2]

@amandamandy2002 hi you seem an interesting person here and would like to know you more so could you pm me?
(lol)

[Will23v]

@amandamandy2002 @mattl338 I don't know to me that only seems like a thing in high school, doing that to a total stranger in public seems offensive to me. I really wish i did that in more in hs that approach seems hopeless now.

[mattl338]

It is only a hs thing i think, in real life people aren’t that open and they might be weirded out or find it weird that they don’t know you and you’re just going up and talking to them without any particular reason that made you talk to them, such as asking them for directions and such.

[Will23v]

@mattl338 r u still in hs?

[mattl338]

Yep, why?

[Will23v]

@mattl338 u should start approaching it only gets worse after hs im a 23 yo virgin u dont wanna be me

[mattl338]

What do you mean? Why should i start approaching? And what difference does it make in hs vs real life?

[mattl338]

Also being a virgin at 23 isn’t bad at all to be honest. Im still a virgin myself lol although that’s because in my school there’s too many toxic girls and i cut those out of my life

[Will23v]

@mattl338 i guess i mostly regret not losing it in hs cuz i kinda blew a couple good chances. So if u get a chance take it and approach a few chicks cuz fuk it

[Will23v]

@mattl338 Just my advice tho

[mattl338]

I haven’t really gotten a chance to be honest with you. Im just waiting for someone who won’t break up with me within a week or a month. Also for the sake of me knowing so i can avoid making the same mistake, what were the good chances you said that you blew?

[Will23v]

@mattl338 if ur looking for a relationship i more had a chance where i could of hooked up with a girl at a party but acted all shy and nervous so she left with someone else. She ended up in a relationship with a whole different guy its not a big deal at all would have been nice to lose it to her and looking back i think i could have

[mattl338]

I see yeah, but like what difference does it make whether i approach women now verses when im out of hs?

[Will23v]

@mattl338 it just sucks even worse in a number of ways. Unless you go to a party college.

[mattl338]

Hmm alright, well I don’t plan on going to college, I do plan on the military though.

[Laozi]

1. If you know her then you can just start a normal conversation.
Know her likes and favourite topics and you can talk on them.
2. If you don't know her then it's a bit hard. But try to speak to her. Befriend her. Let her be comfortable around you. Then do as I already told in point 1.

[Ianto]

First be sure she wants to talk. Wait for eye contact, smile. If she smiles back you can assume you aren't unwelcome. Walk over and say something. Almost anything will do, but try not to sound like a corny line. Best to pick up on something she can respond to. Ask about her book, or coffee, or something you have in common.

[OddBeMe]

Introverts like myself live on reasons. We like objectives. Try to make a reason for talking to her. Do you see her frequently? It sounds weird but make a plan to progress everyday until you find a reason to ask her to coffee or a drink. But don’t be afraid of a rejection

[hayley_may]

Just start out simple.
-how are you?
-do you know any good movies/tv series?
- heard any good songs lately?

And if there’s something you have in common go from there :)

[Ruby3]

I think depend with whom you want to talk if the girl is also introvert then start conversation with some work related or by asking help , if the girl is exovert then befriend with the guy friends with whom she talks

[notatrap]

Bring a football with you everywhere you go so you appear really manly. Then yell, "HUT. HUT. HIKE!" And throw it at her head.

She'll love that, trust me.
(Don't do this)

[Aleyalovelygirl16]

You should always start out with being nice. Girls love compliments. Just don't go too far

[wtfhunt]

Remember you can go into the friends zone super fast off the back

[Biancatsumi1991]

greet her in a very nice and polite way. Compliment her a little about her dress or hair or smile. That would make her interested in talking to you. Don’t over do it, she might think you’re a psycho lol

[Mollynotgemma]

Hi there... I’m an introvert... apparently... who said I was? Shit... I decided that.. anyway.. how are you...
Say that!

[hobbledehoy]

What ever you're interested in. Or see what they're into that you like and ask about it. Maybe I don't know there's a quintillion ways to talk to people

[Jean-Marie_Céline]

Find a common ground or a popular topic.
Then make the leap.

[clampfan101]

Oh, that’s super easy!

lol Oh, how I wish it was that simple.

[supercutebutt]

I like when a gentleman compliments my pert posterior.

[Avicenna]

Depends on the setting. Ask her something about herself as long as it isn't too personal.

[itsmeamy]

Good answer😁

[UnknownGagsUser]

It simple if you already knew the person it should be hello how's it going?