My boyfriend cursed at me and tried to make it seem like I heard it wrong. Does he not respect me? He said he meant it as a joke? WTH?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend of 1 and a half years just cursed at me saying something like “what did you expect b**ch” and when I asked him to repeat it he changed that curse word to “babe” and I said I heard him curse at me. He tried to change the topic and said that I heard it wrong but then made a playful face which shows that he is lying and I confronted him about it then he accepted that he cursed but he meant it as a joke... to make me laugh! He tries to get out of the situation every time he does something that gets me mad and it pisses me off more. He said he expected me laugh for him calling me the b word as if I am one of the guys. I don’t know what to do.

Updates

+1 y

I normally do not care when he curses because it is mostly when he is in the game or just hanging around with his friends I am not like a mean girlfriend who controls his every move I even hate it but getting cursed like that made me really sad as if I am not his girlfriend but as someone insignificant like one of the boys

[BassetGirl104]

A boyfriend should never raise his voice and curse at any girl, let alone his own girlfriend. This is a red flag. I’m not saying you have to break up with him, however, you definitely have to talk it out with him properly. I would give him one more chance. If he continues to curse at you — it would be see you later for me. I’d break it off. You deserve to be valued and respected.

[anmolsaxena20699]

It seems like he wants to be more dominant and be one of those guys who like to call their girl bitch in a sexy way maybe... has he done it eariler too?

[Asker]

No he never cursed at me before this is why I was shocked he only curses when he is mad or joking with guys so I was not prepared for this at all. Also it is not like during sexual talk or something it was casual chatting

[anmolsaxena20699]

Well then that's not a good sign... you should probably confront him for it and make it clear to him that he can't call you a bitch like this... does he control you or dominates you at times?

[Asker]

I don’t think it is about dominance as I said it was not a sexual convo I was chatting with him and after I said something he said it like that I am not a native English speaker and neither my boyfriend so the curse word is kinda like what I wrote in question but not fully accurate

[Asker]

Just think of any curse you use while chatting and being playful with your boys that would fit better to the curse he used

[anmolsaxena20699]

Oh I get it now... well then it could be just a slip of tongue if it's that kind of word... being with friends and cursing casually is common... he probably didn't mean to disrespect it could be just my mistake as it's habitual with friends

[Asker]

I kinda underatans it as you said there can be slip of tongue from time to time yet I think if that happened he should have apologized right away and not tried to dodge it like he messed up dosging it is going to make it worse and he knows it so why would he do that? I rarely get really pisses at him and this time I was being gentle but as he tried to dodge it I got mad we never shout at each other because we hate it so I hd to remind him that I don’t like him cursing at me. Then he said he said it as a joke to make me laugh. As if I am one of the boys? This part confuses me

[anmolsaxena20699]

Well he thinks dodging an argument is better rather than start apologising for it... maybe you should make him understand that it's okay to fuck up but when you know it simply apologise instead of running away from it... he'll understand

[Asker]

I say it many times but he still tries to stay away from any type of arguments. I says arguing with respect is necessary in relationship and I agree with him on that but running away from it is not cool. He probably tried to make me forget about that slip but as I didn’t do it he gave up and apologised. If I didn’t kept talking about it then he would ‘t apologise at all

[Anonymous]

Um no. You don’t call your lady a bitch. Ever. Enough said.

[anmolsaxena20699]

Yes if it's in a disrespectful way... but actually depends on the guy and girl... some girls like being treated that way and getting dominated and controlled

[Opinion Owner]

@anmolsaxena20699 I guess... if I get called a bitch I’m in a pissy mood until he takes it back

[Asker]

If he apologised right away I guess I would be okay because when he makes a mistake he gets really careful so that he won’t do it again. But acting like I heard it wrong and saying it was meant to be a joke is pissing me off. He should see me as his girlfriend not as one of the boys

[Opinion Owner]

Yes, I agree with you 100%. You’re are very right to think that. I wouldn’t like being called a bitch in the first place but then to lie about it is even worse. If he apologizes then it’s okay. Same.

[Asker]

At the end he apologized but untik that time he tried to change the topic and made me forget about it. He does this every time he says or does something that he knows I am gonna get pissed. I told him about it many times yet he still does this to stay away from any argument.

[Opinion Owner]

So I think he does it because he likes to joke around as usual but when you don’t take it as a joke he changes the subject. He doesn’t want to hurt your feelings and have you be upset. I’m thinking that’s what it is. That’s why he apologized to you.

[Asker]

Lol he is living for joking around like he does it every time and I actually love it however being joked around like one of boys kind of made me feel insignificant bc he is not that close to the guys he jokes around and I am his girlfriend. I am not saying that I should be the center of his world of course but that type pf joking around with me is new to me actually he never done that before. And yes he hates seeing me sad yet he said it once like dodging it is not going to change that