My boyfriend said something without thinking as a joke and it actually offended me?

Question

So my boyfriend and I were at a furniture store together just walking and hanging out. We were having a really good time until he had a really bad case of word vomit. I was checking out this fake plant which actually looked pretty realistic. At the moment I couldn’t tell if it was real or fake so I asked my boyfriend. He then said in a jokey tone “that plant is faker than you.” He must’ve immediately realized what he said bc he just stood there looking at me shocked and said, “s.. sorry I didn’t mean that.” I looked at him back teary eyed and kind of ignored him on the ride back home. When we got back to my place I was feeling so bad I actually talked about ending the relationship and he started to cry and apologize. I felt super bad and I still wanted to be w him 1000% bc we both love each other so much and have been dating for years now, but I did contemplate literally splitting up then and there. At the end we talked it out and the relationship didn’t end, but I was still feeling very bad. Any opinions on this? Should I let it go and move on? Can someone just accidentally just say something like that without thinking or meaning it? I’m confused.

yucychan · Accepted Answer

Sweetheart, he meant it as a joke, like a funny insult, a jab. Like how some best friends go about joke-insulting each other.
Is it your style or thinking that as long as two people are in love with each other, pointing out and laughing at each other's faults are a no-no? Then you really need a reality check.
The guy I'm seeing right now he knows I have a fiery temper and he mentions it from time to time, sometimes as a joke and sometimes really as a plea for me to chill out. I simply just owe it, it's my trait.
If I were you, and my boyfriend just called me fake. I would just owe it and say "Yeah, I am, and it also says a lot about you, because you are the one who's dating me". and then just laugh.

Stoner710 · Accepted Answer

I would like it go to be honest, from your description he knew what he said was bad and he clearly is sorry about it. If he doesn’t have a history of insulting you like that then I would let this one go and ignore it. It was a very stupid comment and he should not have said it but you guys talked it out and I’d recommend staying in the relationship You guys clearly love each other and it was a slip of the tongue he was trying to make a joke and it was a bad one just let it go and ignore it and punish him by not sleeping with him for like two weeks or something like that

wankiam · Accepted Answer

so im sure in future he will think more before he speaks but at the same time you need to be a bit more thick skinned because you know he didn't mean it in a truly offensive way and you could have just said something clever back to him... its called banter and most relationships have it... like a private joke but if he is made to feel he is constantly treading on eggshells i dont see you lasting much longer

AfnanTaheer · Answer

Get is as a joke because he really weren't meant it as serious compliment...
We can say it was an hilarious hunour lol
He just said it as it was a quick joke in his mind then he did realize it can cause issues.. So he immediately apologized...
Don't take it serious

NarutoUzumaki007 · Answer

If he realized his mistake and looked shocked and even cried , I think he really is sorry.

The question is why he said the thing he said. Dont break up with him just ask him genuinely why he said it , what about you made him think you are fake. Of course he doesn't think everything about you is fake. It must have been something you did that made that impression.

Although I think he could have meant it as a joke as well but immediately realized it went too far.

SpiritBear · Answer

it was a joke. I understand that you may take it seriously, and yes, people always say something without thinking or meaning it. The punchline of the joke wasn't that it was true, but instead that it wasn't. Not every relationship can go smooth sailing the whole way. Don't take everything everyone says so seriously

Anonymous · Answer

Yea he’s prob like most guys and always joking and poking fun with his friends, probably tries to tiptoe around you because you can’t handle it but was having fun and slipped.
Pretty clear from reaction his goal wasn’t to put you down, I would work on taking things in perspective and not overreacting as this will just be exhausting for you and him

madgoat · Answer

Young as you are , this seems like a big thing but it's really not.
Let it go although you might want to ask what he was thinking. Sounds like it was an ill thought out joke, maybe one his mates use with each other.

MuffinBoi · Answer

It's likely sarcasm. Don't take it personally. I'm a bit puzzled on why both of you would cry over something this small but everyone's different I guess.

Kaneki05 · Answer

Damn... i mean i make fucked up jokes but Damn... I mean wtf why? Like what. Sorry i am stunned. Did he even have any context to that joke do you fake tan or something.. cause wtf

AcidT0y · Answer

I used to say shit like that all the time to my ex but she could take a joke so she just said something back and we just laughed at each other xD  Probably just let it go, jokes are just jokes.

spartan55 · Answer

Geez, it was a joke, albeit one in poor taste. You sure know how to bring drama meter up... 🙄

Iron_Man · Answer

Why would a grown man cry over a fight Doesn’t sound very manly to me are you sure you want to get involved with somebody like that? He already cut you down anyway

ask4any · Answer

It was a brain fart! A failed attempt at humor that was anything but. Let it go! You've been together for years. Don't go through needless pain and suffering over a fart

honestGUY45 · Answer

Most jokes are offensive, that's what makes them jokes. You need to lighten up.

Anonymous · Answer

Well are you fake? Do you have fake parts or fake personality?

Fuentes · Answer

Damn u must be fake af

My boyfriend said something without thinking as a joke and it actually offended me?

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