Is it okay if my boyfriend [17 and a junior] never asked me [18] to my senior prom, planned for my bday or bought me a gift, or plans dates?

[LemonScentedGirl]

(My thoughts to him in my notes app)

• How come you never asked me to prom? (In 2 weeks) I know you said you think its dumb and a waste of money but its my senior prom. Its a big deal for me even if its not for you. there's only two times in life that you can be asked to prom and it hurts that my own boyfriend never put in the effort to ask. He even made me feel stupid for caring about it by saying it's dumb to be excited about. Its kinda disappointing, if I'm perfectly honest. No, its a big let down. Senior prom is once in a lifetime and for lots of people there's no guarantee that they'll be asked to prom but I have a boyfriend who I hope cares about me enough to ask to prom.

• I don't think you ever got around to getting me a birthday present. I know you were thinking about it for a while saying "I still need to get you smth" but I think the thought kinda faded from your mind. And I guess we werent as serious at the time only together for a month or two but doing something to show you care means a lot.

• I wish you planned to do special things together. Even if its not going out, there's still lots of things to do at home. I know you said you don't like art but can we try doing it together? And you can teach me how to play a game you really like even if I'm bad at it.

• I guess I just feel undervalued. I feel like im always considering you and going out of my way to make you feel special without reciprocation. Grabbing food for you, taking a quick detour to give it to you, driving you to and from school and work each day. And when there's occasions, I spend days thinking about the date and coordinating it far in advance, really wondering what you'll think and getting everything prepared so the day is perfect. I want more than TV and sex at home. I want things everyone wants: cute dates and pictures, surprises every now and then... I dont want to breakup because I like sharing my life with you... but Im not sure I'm getting what I need from a relationship.

[Adam1978]

First of all a guy follows his own opinion so if he think a ball is a waste of money don't expect to be asked to it. You will have to ask him. Unless you just started dating he has no reason to skip your birthday assuming he knows the date. Assuming you didn't ignore his.

[LemonScentedGirl]

For his birthday I spent 100+ dollars on food and spent weeks planning his perfect gift. I dressed up an everything. He literally wore a sweat shirt and basketball shorts to the fancy restaurant which I told him a week in advance was fancy.

[Adam1978]

Doesn't sound like the perfect birthday for him. If he dress like that in a fine restaurant he doesn't care about fancy eating. He probably happy with whatever food is available and rather focus on other things. Gifts aren't about the money spent it's how well it align to the person getting it. So your pick is probably more aligned to what you want, rather than him.

[LemonScentedGirl]

I've considered this, too... I took him someplace with really good steak because I know he loves good steak and good food in general. he's always saying how much he like my moms baked ribs or the other food i buy him so i thought it would be nice for him. And I watched his favorite show with him after.

I had just texted him too and he told me "going on dates and planning stuff isn't really my thing" and "going to fancy restaurants seems pointless to me" but I mean I did it because I wanted to get him good food for his birthday. I was going to cook and looked up all these recipes but since he really likes steak and I didn't wanna risk it not being as good so I took him out. I really tried to make him happy but I guess its "pointless" to him. I just wanted to show him I value him. Its not pointless...

[Anonymous]

You should probably look for someone who cares more about what's important to you. It sounds like he's not very considerate.

[Xtendable]

So, how much time do you spend with him? What does he do with his spare time? So sorry this is not going the way it should be.

[LemonScentedGirl]

We spend time together just like watching whatever show he wants for like 5 hrs after school. Most times we have sex. Outside of that he plays dayz or other video games all day with online friends or alone. Every date we've been on I had to initiate. 7 months we've been together and we've been on I think 4 or 5 actual dates.

[Xtendable]

That sucks. Seems like he needs to get his priorities right

[one1wild00]

Sounds like he has a LOT of growing up (maturing) to do.

[Iron_Man]

Maybe you guys aren’t too serious

[LemonScentedGirl]

I mean, he said he really likes me and he considers us as a serious relationship. He usually just says "my brain doesn't work that way"

[Iron_Man]

That’s lame excuse

[In_Trance]

Yes it's ok

[Kathuria_]

Yes No Issues