Why do guys get weird when I tell them I’m a virgin?

[izzie_morris]

So every single time when a guy has asked me if I’m a virgin and I say no and ask if he is and he says yes, they start to go quiet and just stare at me or something and just act really awkward. it’s like i have no clue what’s going on in their mind and I want to ask what they think of that but i never do to avoid being weird.
This just happened today when i was on facetime with a guy who’s almost impossible 19 (i’m almost 18), and he just stared at me and i jokingly said “you’re probably judging me right now haha” and he said “no not at all, no judgement “.. blah blah.
But i feel like of course he feels he has to say that and his face when i first told him seemed to tell a different story. I feel super uncomfortable now and like it would be completely awkward to lose it especially with him as i seem so innocent now.
So i wonder what do guys actually think or judge about a girl when we tell them we’re a virgin and is it negative or positive because it didn’t feel positive to me.

Updates

+1 y

I meant *I’m almost 18**

[normalice]

One of three things is likely either:
1) the guy want to have sex with a virgin but has become convinced that that's almost impossible, and so finding himself talking to a virgin he feels an immense pressure to put on a seductive performance without a single clue how to go about doin that.
2) he is well aware that virgin women tend to take a lot longer to get into bed with and might prefer not to.
3) he is also a virgin but has been led to believe that it is singularly humanly to admit it, and so he is trying to out off an attitude of "oh, what's that like being a virgin? It's been soooo long since I was a virgin I can hardly recall.."

[normalice]

Humanly = unmanly. I cannot stand autocorrect sometimes...

[izzie_morris]

thanks sooooo much for this detailed answer :) i really appreciate it and it explains a lot

[Anonymous]

"guy has asked me if I’m a virgin and I say no and ask if he is and he says yes,"
Wait, who's the virgin in this scenario? The paragraph contradicts itself.

Guys prefer the inexperienced partner. If she's not a virgin it's like whatever, not ideal, but you roll with it. If she is a virgin, well now it's serious business. She's someone I have to take seriously and make sure her experiences with me are totally positive and comfortable. I'm going to lean into a relationship more and do right by her.

[NathalieeC22]

Some guys like girls with experience, girls that will make the first move. I’ve had this happen to me lots of times when I was about 16-17 years old. But let me just tell you this don’t give it up to just anyone, really get to know the person, the right guy would respect you and He won’t get awkward with you when that topic comes up

[izzie_morris]

thanks SO much girl, this explains it a lot

[mia999]

Because it’s not common to save virginity for someone special anymore

[izzie_morris]

that’s true so do u think maybe he’s just surprised rather than like thinking i’m weird

[mia999]

Exactly

[TallAnon]

Have you ever wondered why we are drawn to things that say "Limited Edition" or why we like "Rare" gems?
That's the same thing, but multiplied by the sexuality of a young man. That's a lot.
In the end, they think of getting something rare. Not of you, your feelings or your personality.

[izzie_morris]

wow thanks so much, that puts it into perspective. so you think he thought positively of it and not negatively?

[TallAnon]

Oh, for sure. I have never heard of a man who dislikes a woman with her virginity. Like I said, it's like a rare gem. Have you ever heard anyone say they despise diamonds?

[Guanfei]

We live in a world where 14yo teens are already considering it's a shame to still be virgin.
In your case it's just that you're a magnificent lady, so for most people, it would make sense that you'd have enough guys interested in you to at least find one who would get you to that point.

[izzie_morris]

thanks so much. so you think he was just surprised?

[Guanfei]

I think so. To be honest, and I don't want to sound rude, I'm surprised too.

[AdithyaR]

Probably cause of the pressure. If I were dating a virgin. Chances are I'm gonna be her first and that's a whole lot of pressure since this going to be her first impression of sex.
But that isbjust my opinion. Others could vary.

[izzie_morris]

thanks, this is actually the opinion that makes the most sense to me

[AdithyaR]

Glad I could help

[wormyyyxd]

Tbh I'm not really sure. I'm a virgin myself but I kind of assume that's my own fault, and I personally would prefer to be with someone who is one themselves

[izzie_morris]

yesss exactly! :)

[Numbnuts89]

I don't care if you're a virgin

As long as you

Dont have STD's
Don't have kids
Don't have a current boyfriend (you're trying to cheat, basically)
Don't have any legal trouble

Other than that I simply do not care if you're a virgin or not

[Anonymous]

but according to the first line of your post, you are not a virgin. Maybe you confused them as much as you've confused me

[izzie_morris]

i wrote it wrong lol, i meant that i am a virgin and he asked me if i lost it and i told him no

[Opinion Owner]

oh. i should have figured that out on my own. lol. It's gonna depend on the guy. Some guys prefer a girl to have experience and if she doesn't, they suck at dealing with it. Or they might have been hoping to get in your pants, and finding out you're a virgin has just crushed their plans. :P The ones you really gotta watch out for are the "virgin slayers" who spend all their time intentionally trying to find virgins to bang. Doesn't sound like this guy was that way, so that's something positive at least.

[chriscdi]

i dont know, they should expect it tbh, they must be hanging with all kinds of skanks, but who knows

[Anonymous]

"every single time when a guy has asked me if I’m a virgin and I say no and ask if he is and he says yes, they start to go quiet"... i'm a bit confused. Isn't this the exact opposite of your question?

[izzie_morris]

sorry i worded it badly. to clarify i mean they go quiet at the part rig after i tell them no

[Opinion Owner]

? so they go quiet when you say you aren't a virgin

[izzie_morris]

yep exactly :/ like they think it’s weird or something

[Opinion Owner]

Then why is your question saying they get weird when you say you ARE a virgin?

[izzie_morris]

sorry i misread. they get weird when i tell them i’m a virgin. i am a virgin. i tell them “no” as in no i haven’t lost my virginity

[Finchie40]

They get quiet cuz they don’t want to ruin the chances at being your first so they play it cool lol

[BobbyC65]

Their's nothing wrong or weird about telling people your a virgin you should be proud for still being a virgin. 💞 💞 💞 💞

[Reddwolf]

Because they don't expect you to be a virgin and he probably lied to you

[izzie_morris]

lied to me about which part?

[Reddwolf]

On both accounts

[izzie_morris]

why do a lot of guys just “expect” girls not to be virgins?

[Reddwolf]

I wish I knew that answer it doesn't matter to me either way

[Anonymous]

It’s good ur a virgin it’s not bad. They just get super excited that’s all

[Bhavin2184]

Because we are judgy human beings.

[Cryptic-Game]

They are shocked probably. If there anything about you that might suggest you wouldn't be?

[In_Trance]

Some guys can't process that

[andy530]

Because they are immature

[jakey97]

There's nothing wrong with that!