My boyfriends lock screen and home screen is him and his best (girl) friend. Is this something I should worry about?

Question

I've been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years now and I love him so much. We live together and showered watch other constantly in affection. He's told me he loves me so many times, but I still get jealous of his best (girl) friend. He almost always seems to be talking to her over text, and he even have photos of them as both wallpapers on his phone (I have him as mine). I've told him before that I am jealous and he says not to worry, she's not his type/she has a boyfriend. I do trust him, but that doesn't stop how jealous I get when he just typing away, smiling at his phone with me next to him.

Is it alright to be jealous?

Updates

+1 y

EDIT (7/4/2020)

Everything got cleared up. I took some of your advice and talked to him. They have been friends since before I met him, and he only sees her like a sister. That, and I'm going to be hanging out with both of them in a week because she's coming over. He wants the two of us to be friends.

Thank you everyone for your input!

jspl90 · Accepted Answer

Well i think the best way to handle this is straight down the middle😆 sit him down and tell him that even after his reassurances you feel jealous so if nothing else could you at least change the background picture to something else so it is not always in your sight. Also maybe occasionally ask her to hang with you guys so you get to know her better and see how they act together i mean I have female friends that are simply that friends bordering on sister and brother type of friendship🤣

Pighttussy · Accepted Answer

Did he have that wallpaper since the beginning of three years? I doubt it. If he added that recently, then yeah, you got something to worry about.

Tumeric_ginger123 · Answer

That's hard to say. I have a best friend who's a guy and I also have a boyfriend, I'm not attracted to my friend in anyway though he has some attention to me, he knows where our realationship stands and it's been comfortable for years as it is , he never crosses the line. I can definitely say our conversations arnt always appropriate though it's truly just banter between friends, but I know if my partner herd it would make him uncomfortable. That may be the relationship your boyfriend and his friend have as well , its harmless but everyone's views are different.

But my boyfriend has pointed out , and so has my best friend, that guys dont often try to be friends with a girl that they arnt necessarily attracted to in some way. As a female we often make friends with anyone who fills our inner needs , and often, Even date men who arnt necessarily attractive but compensate in a diffrent way. Men dont always have such luck , and usally have to be attracted to them , and if they arnt , and have a friend girl who doesn't fit that category they more then likely created a relationship with them through a previous friend , relationship or school/ work environment and enjoyed the friend ship only. Me partner and I had a lot of controversy over this , cause he basically pointed out all his friend girls were attractive to him in some way , and he said though it's TRUE, they set boundaries and he respected them and stayed friends cause there was more to that person then there looks. And that put me at ease. Cause I know a lot of guys who I considered friends didn't like that that's as far as it went and left , which is fine to.

Cynicaldreamer · Answer

NO! Just because he has a female friend does not mean he likes her or anything is going on!

Keep in mind, he's probably been friends with her longer than you two have been dating, hence how close they are. I get that you're jealous, and I understand that you might be a little insecure with him having pictures of them together on his phone and not you. Also, keep in mind, he chose YOU, not anyone else to date.

But I doubt anything is going on because: she has a boyfriend and if he had feelings for her, don't you think he would hide it or not be as open about it with you?
Have you met his friend yet? I think that would relief a lot of your stress: you need to get together: maybe have a double date, and see how she is. You might even like her.

dantheman1118 · Answer

Before the world had so many lying sacks of shit it probably wouldn't be weird at all to see that on his phone. The thing to remember is that not everyone is a lying sacks of shit. By the way you speak about him it sounds like you have a good one. If you think about the world without the constant cheating that wouldn't even cross your mind. It wouldn't be weird to have the same sex best friend on your phone, right? It shouldn't be weird whether it's a guy or girl best friend. People that connect shouldn't be punished for it (not saying you are punishing him). I personally think it's terrible we can't have opposite sex best friends with out someone thinking the worst. My point is if you trust him, then trust him. It's only weird if you make it weird.

RemoErdosain · Answer

It's kind of a hard situation, and I'm in a similar one. My girlfriend is always talking to this guy friend. I'd say you should remove him from your wallpaper and lockscreen if he doesn't have you there. If he asks you, you can tell him that you don't feel good about that one-sided gesture. Saying she has a boyfriend is a nonsense excuse. We all know how guys will keep girl friends that they're actually romantically interested in around and then jump to the chase at the first opportunity. That she's not his type is also nonsense. Is she plain? If not, he's definitely into her physically, and he's already into her emotionally because they're always texting. Don't trust the "I love you" words: They can be just words sometimes. This is very strange of him, and I'd say you're probably wasting your time.

modelUN242 · Answer

Yes it is, something is definitely going on. Think about it, what if you had a (best) guy friend who was straight? Like c'mon!! Personally, I think girls and guys can be friends in social (group) situations. Your boyfriend could potentially cheat on you with her and is using the "best (girl) friend" tag to convince you that it's nothing to be suspicious of. That's so weird, who has a wallpaper of someone not their partner? I mean you said you have one with him and he has one with who? Are you kidding me? Are you able to snoop on his phone and seeing what he's texting? If so, you know what to do after, if he's being lovey dovey with this girl, break up with him. It doesn't matter if you've been with him for 3 years, actually since you're young, it's better you find out now.

Kaneki05 · Answer

it's always okay to be jealous. Just never too much. And she has a boyfriend then it's really unlikely they like each other in that way. That been said My bestfriend i wouldn't have her as my lock screen like that if i was with another girl. But i dunno really depends on him.
I know if it was me it wouldn't be anything to get worried about. But some guys ain't me and do cheat so i dunno. But i think getting jealous over a girl who has a boyfriend anyway is maybe a bit too much unless if you have proof he has been cheating with her and she has been cheating on her boyfriend.

DailyFairy · Answer

Seriously i don't understand nor will i appreciate my boyfriend having another woman pic on the screen saying its ger best girl friend lol its ridiculous actually
One thing i learned being once in relationship dont try to understand everything he is saying when deep down u knw its wrong or u just don't feel comfortable about it so best thing is to confront him about it

And another thing i clearly don't thk he respects u cuz seriously who put his girl friend pic on his screen instead of u his real girlfriend or at least he should put his mom then lol... i hv been in a relationship like that ignored many little thing i wish i could hv confronted them soon n learned what i learned sooner

OlderAndWiser · Answer

It doesn't matter whether anyone else thinks your feelings are okay. If that is the way you feel, a concerned partner who is aware of your feelings will do something to try to make you feel better.

How would you respond if you had a guy friend and your boyfriend was jealous? What would you do to make your boyfriend feel better?

yucychan · Answer

Yes, it's normal to be jealous.
It takes less than a min to change the wallpapers, so why can't he do it?
It's fine to have a best friend of the opposite gender. However, when your boyfriend has you, it's just polite that he focus his attention on you. His best friend also has a boyfriend so why is she focusing her attention on your boyfriend instead?
What is so interesting about their conversation that he can't talk it over with you instead?

egarcia1360 · Answer

Yikes. That is a giant bright red flag if I've ever seen one. I get that being in a relationship doesn't mean you can't have friends, and I fully support people having various good friends as partners can become excessively dependent on each other for any and all emotional support otherwise. However, at the end of the day, your BEST friend (besides family members, if you're especially close with them) should be your significant other. That's the whole point of being in a committed relationship.

MissDawn7961 · Answer

since your showering with him then you should be his best girlfriend and not her ! evidently , she has something you do not have and he just has you in case she is busy ! if you stay with him and he has her in his life then - you get what you get what you get - ! thanks

Smashingdoozy · Answer

You shouldn't be ashamed of being jealous though it is a thing you should work on solving in this situation. I don't see anything suspicious going on. Seems like he values her a lot. You are just going to have to work through the feelings you have instead of sitting on them and stewing.

PinkMichae · Answer

You got any guy friends you can take a pic with and put on your phone? lol!

It could be bad but it could be innocent as well. I would tell him how bad it's been making you feel. That it make you feel like he values her more. And then ask why he likes having that pic over a pick of you two?

Rab1901 · Answer

I think it's good that you trust him but if you're hurting, I think you should take some action, not in an angry butthurt way but in a light playful way. Tell him that it's time for a switch up and you would love this specific couple picture or get a pic of all 3 of you together. If he can't do that, that's shady as hell.

potatoiswhoiam · Answer

If he knows this friend since childhood or even high school and she's truly had an impact on his life, as a friend, it's totally understandable And I'd say harmless if he puts her and him as his wallpaper.. it is problematic if the wallpaper is a pic of her alone, but the way I see it is just a representation of their close friendship.

hicardosperfbs · Answer

Don 't listen to these toxic man they been left on read too many times. Point is I think its great that he values his best Friends that he puts her as his wallpaper dont see the need for him to have u as his wallpaper he tot ñothing to prove right he loves you (or so he claims)

Anonymous · Answer

I completely get you. My ex boyfriend did things like this. He would talk about girls a lot and how much they like him. In the end , I had to break up with him. You should talk to your boyfriend about it, but judging from this your boyfriend sounds like the kind of guy who will just do what he wants without too much of a care for your opinions. I don’t think you can stop him from doing all this, but try to talk to him calmly and explain how you feel. If he is receptive and caring that’s great, but if not you may want to consider breaking up with him.

sensible27 · Answer

I don't know if I can help. I am not sure how people can text each other all day everyday and be like I don't like them or they are not my type. I get that you can not like them as partners but if they text them more than they do you, maybe they find them more interesting I don't know... Can be just me. Would feel weird saying I text my friends more than I do someone I really really like... Maybe on a bad day but not always...

StarryCrossing · Answer

That’s fucked up and sounds sketchy. I’d be so hurt by that. Tell him how much that hurts you. If he still continues consider dumping him because he should have a picture of you not his best girl friend.

SaiyenBloodd · Answer

That’s just really weird. Wouldn’t he rather see a photo of you and him on his lock screen? How creepy of him to put that of his best friend... it’s a red flag and I would get out of that ASAP. His heart ain’t loyal and your subconscious feels it, that’s why your asking this question because it doesn’t feel right... because it’s not

RHK36 · Answer

I think it depends on how close they are. When and how they became friends matters. If it isn't a since childhood friendship I'd imagine he has a crush on her and is waiting until she doesn't have a boyfriend. Whether or not that's true that's what I'd be thinking.

spartan55 · Answer

I just don't get how anyone can be okay with that. It's one thing to be friends, but another to be flaunting like that. Almost like they are hiding in plain sight. I wouldn't put up with it if I were you.

Cherokeehp · Answer

Ouch. Yeah that’s fishy. It sounds like he likes her but she has a boyfriend so he hasn’t made a move.

bigmisssunshine · Answer

If I guy would cheat, they wouldn’t have their lover on their lock screen

Fuentes · Answer

Lol super immature thats why y'all been dating sense after highschool y'all young so it might not even last you might switch up at 21 saying u wanna go to clubs and drink and party without him one day. Also it's deff SUS he has as his lock screen clearly he has some type of feelings for her may be they dated in the past and then they became friends but he's always been obsessed with her

madgoat · Answer

He's in love with her as his mate. Unclear if he values her over you but there is obvious competition for his heart and mind.
He's young. He's either in denial or otherwise hasn't worked out that this won't fly. It goes beyond trust.

ItsTheNephilim · Answer

'girl best friend', right. You have the right to be concerned about him doing that. If you are more important to him (which should be so), he should have yours picture there, not of his 'girl best friend'.

Sweetener_ · Answer

Why didn't he put a pic of the both of you instead? Next thing you know they'll be doing bad deeds behind your back, put a stop to this before it's too late.

IamSoSorry · Answer

Hang out you, boyfriend, his (girl) friend. After a while she will give a couple signals. Always laughing to jokes, always look into your bf’s eyes.. etc. you may need to worry. Say something like this just to be clear “You may not look at her with that meaning but i think she is into you” if she doesn’t you don’t need to worry

PeachyPie_ · Answer

It's kinda weird. Maybe try to turn the situation around so he understands your situation better.
Ask him how he would feel if you change your background to a picture of you and your best friend (doesn't matter if you really have one). I'm sure he would feel the same in this situation.
This often helped me to explain situations I don't feel comfortable in.

scarlett774 · Answer

It’s not concerning but it’s kinda weird and questionable, like why wouldn’t he have a pic of you two together as him homeschreen. I would definitely be jealous if my boyfriend did that.

ButtaGrey · Answer

I wouldn't unless he's given you a reason to be suspicious of his activity. However, I think I would rectify that situation if my girlfriend was uncomfortable with a situation like yours.
It would be my job to assure you of your place in my heart.

AcidT0y · Answer

If there was something weird going on he wouldn't text her while you were around. Doubt you've got anything to worried about.

Jersey2 · Answer

I would normally say yes you should be worried but from what you wrote about affection etc, I think you are ok. Keeping her on his phone may be his way of saying to her, I’m still your friend even though I am in a relationship.

R3DthatDude · Answer

No offense but your boyfriends an idiot. Even if there’s nothing to worry about, common dude you know women why the heck would you even do that. Unless it’s like a group picture.

gemgem · Answer

Maybe he likes her more than you but she friendzoned him. And you are just a second choice. Could be.

MrCanada · Answer

Yes I think so. That would be hard. I wonder how he would react if the tables were turned and your best friend was a guy and you had the same thing going on. I be he wouldn’t be happy at all.

OpenNudist · Answer

To be perfectly honest I would be worried about it personally

Emma05 · Answer

My lock screen is my best friend and I There's nothing between us

hellacray · Answer

If you're not his best girlfriend. Then how could you even call yourself his girlfriend?

whitehide · Answer

I get you, but if she's his best friend, then she would want what's best for him and that wouldn't be making him a cheater. Don't worry.

BoxySama · Answer

It is totally appropriate to be jealous But if she's legitimately is like a sister to him, I would not worry about that oh, he might just like the photo, or the memory that that photo triggers

simplelikeme · Answer

Yup... run away and find someone worthy. If you're in a relationship you shouldn't have to put a lock on your phone. If I was a relationship I would never put a lock on my phone I have nothing to hide

Ifriqyan · Answer

Red flag. You sure that "friend" didn't friendzone him in the past?

pleasestopthis · Answer

He seems to be overly attached to this woman. I'd not be okay with it.

_SOARER · Answer

That's so inappropriate  He should change the screen and apologize

sheikalana · Answer

It's alright I would be jealous too. Do you know this girl?

surathapanda · Answer

It's very much okay to be jealous but I don't think you need to worry. Guys have there relations sorted and he'll never do anything to hurt you or his best friend.  That's my opinion.

TienShenhan · Answer

Your jealousy is warranted. Having her as wallpaper on his phone is just too damn much

jesustelle · Answer

Don't be worried about it just be honest and ask him about it. If love is on your side then it'll all work out

JamesBlackDragon · Answer

I personally don't think that's a problem but if you're that jealous sorry to say but I think you should in these or get over it

penny1234 · Answer

A relationship can only work if there is trust on both sides.

kmike2020 · Answer

you should honestly be worried,, thats the chick he would drop the world for

ucanthandlthetruth · Answer

Your jealousy will ruin your relationship. Let it go.

Guardian45 · Answer

I think you every right to DEMAND that either his lockscreen or his wallpaper is YOU! 🤔

xXlostsoulsXx · Answer

Uhhh ya, sorry to say this but you should be worried

Sirdean · Answer

Yes it is it's just my opinion but the woman that I'm with should and hopefully is my best friend which I would never treat with disrespect

jmoneyy200 · Answer

Is he better looking than you? If the answer is yes. You have an ex and just don't know it yet.

jacksonhannah43 · Answer

Take it from me at times y'all just gotta trust us and let us do things we want

Aphrodite_1998 · Answer

Yes cause he’s hiding something from you stuff like that make suspicious.

My boyfriends lock screen and home screen is him and his best (girl) friend. Is this something I should worry about?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Is it strange my boyfriend has his female best friend as his lock screen on his phone?

My boyfriends lock screen and home screen is him and his best (girl) friend. Is this something I should worry about?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Is it strange my boyfriend has his female best friend as his lock screen on his phone?

We're glad to see you liked this post.