My boyfriend doesn’t know his own strength while playing with me?

[Anonymous]

He has stopped 100% because he’s learned that playing rough never ends well for no body. He’s gotten so much better to the point where he barely plays with me anymore which I appreciate. But I’m getting these old memories of back in the start of the relationship before his change of ways he used to play very hard with me. Once we were walking home and I pushed him playfully. He turned around smiling and pushed me back even harder. We were both having fun. I was pushed against the tree but I put my hands by reflex so I didn’t get hurt. Right then a random guy on the road put down his window and shouted “abuser” at my boyfriend and drove away. My boyfriend was silent and kind of down on the way back home. Another time months apart it happened again. We were playing and I got him from behind and he laughed and pushed me hard again. This time I didn’t laugh bc I crash landed on a sofa and I just thought that if the sofa weren’t there it would’ve been the floor. He instantly looked shocked and started apologizing repeatedly telling me he shouldn’t have done it that hard and that he wouldn’t do it again. It hasn’t happened again since. There was this other time again months apart where I remember we were playing and he pinned me down, both of us laughing. I went from laughing to screaming after seconds because I felt like I wanted to be let go of, and when I screamed he let me go and looked ashamed and sad af. Its like he always wanted to play with me but didn’t realize his own strength until something happened and then felt so ashamed of himself. I couldn’t help but feel kind if sorry for him because I know he didn’t want to hurt me, he just had so much energy inside him that he didn’t know how to control. After this I banned horseplay in our relationship for a while, and he didn’t do anything and was so calm about it. He is committed to our relationship and I hate thinking that he would hurt me bc I know he doesn’t want to. Should I move on from these old memories?

[pajamasam]

I feel for this dude, he obviously likes to horseplay with you but also doesn't want to hurt you, maybe you can find ways to structure your horseplay so it doesn't get out of control. Think maybe playing twister, or hide and seek. It seems childish but there's a reason those games are fun and timeless. Or maybe one day at home you can lay a bunch of pillows and blankets on the ground and say you want to wrestle. That way the entire environment is padded and safe so no one gets hurt, no bystanders get the wrong idea, and he can see that you like his horseplay too but you just want to make sure you don't get hurt.

Honestly this whole question is so touching and I feel for you and your man. Im sure if you simply showed him this post and showed him how much this dilemma worries you it would probably be very touching to him. I know it would be to me if I were in his shoes.

[Jamie05rhs]

He need to find some other dudes to play with. He shouldn't be playing rough like that with a lady.

[Anonymous]

Show him that you can fight back, I pin my boyfriend all the time. Sometimes he claims I'm too rough on him ;)

[Avicenna]

Yes, you should forgive him

[AmeerX]

Can you move on from memories?

[Asker]

I try.

[AmeerX]

No, memories stay unless you forget them.
If I was in your shoes I would be happy him treating me rough.
Well, you could have him be rough with you in some other safe way

[Iron_Man]

Talk to him or play rough back

[Asker]

This happened a long time ago. Seeing as they are just memories should I let them go in your opinion?

[Iron_Man]

Wrestle him a few more times to see how it goes then make the final decision if he’s a keeper or not. I am a wrestler and I like to play

[Fuentes]

Then stop playing