My boyfriend Does NOT SHOWER?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend and I have lived together for 2 years. I ask him to shower daily, and he screams at me to "shut up", as he showers maybe once a week. The exception is if, I have sex with him, then he will go shower (or else no sex). What Do I Do? It is disgusting!

[BeeNee]

I hate to say a bit of something obvious here, but you have lived with him for two years... that is presumably two years that he has not been what many consider, regularly showering daily. I'm not quite sure how you could feel this is a problem... just now, as it seems something that would come up early on in the relationship as you've been living with him.

His mindset may very well be, you knew who I was and that I don't shower... add to that (from reading some comments) your knowledge of the way he grew up, he may be pretty much set in his ways. You may have a pretty steep if not impossible mountain to climb when it comes to trying to alter his life long behavior. The only question really left is, are you willing to let it go and accept his behavior or is it a deal breaker for you in your relationship because you've already it seems asked him repeatedly to shower.

[michaela94]

That is super gross!! I had a boyfriend like that a while back (thank god my boyfriend now is as obsessed with hygiene as I am lol). I used to get my ex to shower by suggesting we take a shower together so that way it seems like something fun when in reality you're getting them to shower. I'm glad that you don't have sex unless he showers though! You go girl.

[lostgirl_searching]

Actually according to some dermatologist, they say you shouldn't shower everyday, it's bad for the skin. In most cases you only need to shower twice out of each three days and some people can do so just every other day. So ask him if he can at least shower twice, out of each three days.

[SarahsSummer]

Whats his reasoning? And he has sex and THEN takes a showeer? WTF?

[Asker]

He takes a shower, then has sex.
He doesn't like to take showers... it is unreal

[SarahsSummer]

Break up with him. NOBODY else would accept this. Curious, what does he do for work that appearance and odor don't matter?

[Asker]

He works in construction

[SarahsSummer]

Thats just plain unhealthy! Why do you stay? Does he get cleaned up to take you out on dates?

[Sara413]

Ewww! He even works in a manual labour job where he probably sweats his ass off? That's even worse!! Gross gross gross! I don't know how you've lived with this for 2 years. That is beyond disgusting.

[SarahsSummer]

And if you sleep in the same bed, you're getting his filth all over you and the bedding everyday. I'd be forced to wash the sheets every single day. Just so disgusting, sorry but I don't know how you can still be attracted to him.

[OlderAndWiser]

What country/culture are you in? I understand that there are cultural differences on this issue.

Old expression: Girls date guys hoping that they will change [referring to behavior], but guys don't change. Guys date girls hoping that they won't change [referring to appearance], but they do.

Girls hope guys will change some of their behaviors but it rarely happens. You can't change people. You just accept them as they are or you move on and find someone else. If you tell at him enough so that he does what you want just to get you to stop yelling, what kind of relationship is that?

[Asker]

That is true. We are both from Canada. He grew up in a family that didn't really care about cleanliness and hygiene, meanwhile my family was super strict on that sort of thing.
You think the only solution is to break up?
Thank you so much for your help!

[OlderAndWiser]

If he is unwilling to recognize that this is a problem for you and do something about it, it reveals a problem even more fundamental than the shower issue. If he is never willing to compromise on anything, how long will you be happy with him?

[Asker]

That is such a valid point...

[OlderAndWiser]

Yes, and it really sucks, but. . . good relationships require love, trust, and respect from both partners. No matter how much you love him, that cannot overcome the fact that he is disrespecting you.

[Asker]

I will attempt to sit down with him and tell him how I feel calmly. After that, if he refuses I will ask him to move out for good

[OlderAndWiser]

If he agrees to do this reluctantly - like he is going to do this just because he doesn't want to move out - that is not a good sign. He needs to acknowledge that you both work on resolving differences by compromise.

[BeastRB]

Tell him to get his shit together. Seriously, though. bintionline.files.wordpress.com/.../...meme-02.jpg

[juniorsrosie]

Tell him if his personal hygiene doesn't improve, you'll leave. Honestly that's disgusting, and him telling you to shut up is extremely disrespectful

[juniorsrosie]

Do you have to share a bed with him?

[Asker]

he sleeps on the couch because he snores

[juniorsrosie]

Oh ok. At least you don't have to deal with that...
But if he won't improve, I would threaten to take a break at least. This isn't something that'll improve overnight but he should make an effort.

I was gonna say get him an Axe body kit for his b day or something lol

[Asker]

OMG I got him an old spice body kit hahahahaha

[juniorsrosie]

Lmao yesss. If that's not a hint I don't know what is

[SLT93]

I don't want to be rude but is your boyfriend, well large?

Poor personal hygiene is a deal breaker for me. I feel for you. 2 years with him is a considerable amount of effort and time & to break up over a trivial matter is sad (on his part).

Sleeping on the couch can't be healthy either (does he object to sleeping there?) and I understand he snores.

[SovereignessofVamps]

I don't think you need daily showers. Not allowed in my house since we have a huge water issue. You can just wash the smelly areas every day. I think you could shower once a week and smell fine anyway though, as long as you use deodorant. In the past, it's not like people showered every day.

With that said I am jelly of you people. To have the option to shower every day would be so cool.

[dogbert444]

Go find another boyfriend who is a bit more understanding. Hard to do, maybe it'll hurt, too, but it's better than wasting more time like this.

[zombiebabe]

its gross and he is using his lack of hygiene as a way to blackmail you to have sex
he needs to grow up smh -_-''

[GettingPlayed]

okay that's pretty nasty. now he may like to not shower but he shouldn't scream at you he should just suck it up and do it for you. now you should expect to do something for him in return. maybe you do something that he doesn't like.

[abc3643]

Dump him... Then he'll need to take cold showers...

[abc3643]

Seriously, you should not have to put up with that and I mean that multiple ways: 1 his lack of hygiene, 2 his piss poor attitude, and 3 the stress this is causing you.

[abc3643]

... this is more than just an issue of hygiene. His attitude is a problem.

The bottom line is this: Imagine living decades with him like this. Of course, this is a deeply distressing thought. So, SOMETHING needs to change and that is either he changes - both his attitude and his hygiene for the better OR you break-up. It's just that simple.

[Truthatanycost]

Lack of cleanliness can also be a sign of depression.

[Izumiblu]

Break up with him... i mean really, basic hygiene people. If you can't manage that you shouldn't be in a relationship.

[JustinTheGreat]

If you guys have been living together 2 years, why is this JUST bothering you now? :P
Just tell him he smells like shit and you will break up with him if he doesn't do anything about it, even if you dont mean it

[D1991F]

The human body doesn't really need to shower daily but since we're insecure about smelling and being turned off... leave him if he isn't willing to take 5 min quick shower 🚿

[Cianconnolly]

Thats disgusting.. call him disgusting.. insult him daily this is beyond filth if be embarressed to go out with someone like that.. he needs a wake up call so you need to be blunt with him

[steveguitar]

I think guys should shower daily whether they are going to spend the whole day by themselves in a house or all day at work or wherever. Showers are awesome anyway

[Girly1710]

Why did you move in with someone who screams at you and doesn't shower? I'd move out.

[Asker]

I bought my home so if anything he should be leaving, and he refuses to move out... I care about him, but this shower thing is just crazy!

[Girly1710]

Dude. What a predicament. How about you stop showering and see how he likes it!

[Asker]

Honestly, when I got sick I didn't shower for a few days- and he couldn't care less. He was still trying to get some!

[Girly1710]

If he only showers before sex then you should have sex every morning. Boom.

[Asker]

hahah genius!

[lovydoey]

Break up with him and leave him with soap and a bucket of water

[catgirl9]

The thing that strikes me most about this question is that he "Screams" at you to shut up. That itself is a problem.

[CrazynKinky]

Just have sex with him everyday. He'll get used to being clean and not go back to showering once a week.

[yotes-of-472]

I shower 2 to 3 times a week. Daily showers are overrated.

[yotes-of-472]

Screw you whoever down voted me.

[rubyrose83]

Yeah he's got to go. Rude, disrespectful AND smelly? Hells no!!

[FakeName123]

I am baffled how you are living together for 2 years with him at this point.

[Asker]

he sleeps on the couch as he snores and that keeps me up... and he uses deodorant to somewhat stink less

[Mesmerizer]

So he puts on deodorant even when he hasn't taken a shower?
That's just nasty.
Tell him to love himself and that him not taking care of himself like this is a sign of not loving yourself

[Rosh612]

This is extremely disgusting and not hygienic at all. I wonder how are you still putting up with him

[Sephora_Addict]

eewww wtf... i shower twice a day! that's nasty. i'd break up with his disgusting ass. i'm sorry. hygiene is important to me.

[Guitarwizard7]

I personally shower every other day unless I work out. But telling him to shower isn't going to get him to shower.

[Kaylaharp46]

I've always had poor choice in men but this is just nasty lol

[datgirl]

Ewww. That's immature and nasty and I'd break up with him.

[Anonymous]

Yeah it kind of is, he should shower at least every other day if not every day

[ShayanMortazavi1998]

You should kill his parents for raising him this way

[Anonymous]

I shower morning and night. I couldn't stand feeling stinky and sweaty

[MichaelPoon]

Set boundaries for yourself. If he 'screams' at you to shut up he is showing he is not of good character and you should end the relationship.

[Anonymous]

That's gross.
I usually shower every other day if I wasn't really doing anything, and every day if I actually do anything physical or outside.

[unknownpoet]

what is more disgusting is that you are is girlfriend.

[WhaChaChaKing]

Leave him? How do you stay with someone that disgusting?

[SwolDishWasher]

Is your boyfriend a cat?(not srs)

Taking showers and playing loud music is GOAT

[Anonymous]

i would think showering would be something that would come natually. doesn't he smell himself. i mean, shouldn't he be able to tell he has bo

[Anonymous]

Learn to accept it or dump him. If it were me I'd pick the second option.

[Anonymous]

Move out and break up, you're living with an unhygienic loser

[Azgeda]

Why are you dating Tarzan?

[Chico_brah]

Daily shower crew checking in

[anaspie]

Eh! That's disgusting

[rgb008]

Dump him lmfao that is nasty

[Trenbolone123]

Lls I need a girlfriend like you

[Lopezz1999]

That ain't right..

[Sara413]

That's nasty..

[evenlift]

Lick him clean.

[babeeeone]

The nasty

[cupidkisses]

break up

[pineappleorange]

Dump him.