Why does my boyfriend get defensive about this?

[Anonymous]

I’m usually pretty secure in my relationship. So I have a boyfriend that goes to the gym daily and once we were talking on the phone and he said he was showering and putting on hair gel before he goes to the gym.
I jokingly asked him why he was showering and putting on hair gel just to go the gym and he basically got offended and was like “would you just let me be?” He then started acting like I’m always coming down on his case when I jokingly asked him why he was doing something that doesn’t make common sense and he said he likes to look/ feel good at the gym for himself. He also does it at work and works a maintenance job which also doesn’t make sense to me but I never questioned him about that. He had mentioned that the office managers at his job are women and he’s said they’re pretty before and dress in short skirts and stuff but i don’t care because it’s just an observation but I’m starting to wonder if he does it for them lol.
Am I overreacting or should I just let him be?

[BrookeAZ90]

I think you may be on to something. If he does it everywhere he goes then maybe it's nothing. Just the gym and work with women around? That seems like he's trying to just look good for anyone around in case they seem interested and leaving his options open for a few specific people. You didn't say how long you've been dating so I don't know how serious it is. Him getting defensive kinda says you're right though and he's deflecting a bit.

[EricSummer]

As you say it's his usual routine for his work and also for the gym. At least he is looking after his appearance a bit. Most women do a lot more, of course. So that should be fine.

It would be a warning sign only if he suddenly did a lot more than usual. However, even that can be fine, for example when he realizes that he cannot let himself go too much.

[inhua]

well you do love the way he looks right?

if so then let him keeping looking good for you

[boggboss]

Because u was essently asking if he was doing it for someone else I would think

[Asker]

Yeah but the question is is he doing it for someone else

[spartan55]

Just leave him alone about that. Or keep asking questions like that and push him away because you have to 'understand' it. I promise you have quirks and habits he thinks are weird too.

[Asker]

So the idea that my boyfriend is trying to look good to impress other women shouldn’t bother me?

[spartan55]

But you don't know that's what he is doing. That's what YOU THINK he is doing. Stick to reality.